So anyway like the summery i am making this up as i go along...yeah i know it'll probably suck but too damn bad. Also so you know i just got a Gatorade and im going to drink it as i type this.
Anyway none of the characters in this story belong to me they belong to to lovely uh...well that person who wrote the Harry Potter books...you know...her.

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Deep within the chambers of darkness and doom sat an old man with a sock full of boom. Yeah like he even know s what that is. This man's name was That Guy Whos name We are All Scared Sht of saying. He opened a book with the name "All the real secrets of Harry Potter and the gang". When he spoke his voice was like a cold chill that if you ever heard it you would turn to ice at its sound...yes ICE.

"Our story time starts with my most loved Deatheater, Ronald Weasley." He said in his normaly cold voice.

The man faced out towards the people who wernt even there listening to him.

"What did you really think that he was just a bumbling idiot? Of course not. Everything that happens was all my idea in the first place." He said in a disgusting spity slur.

"Back to our story...Ronald Weasly. The secret behind this chamber...haha i made a funny...you know the Chamber of Secr...ahh shutup whatever, I thought it was funny. His secret throughout the Harry Potter books was that he was to gain the loving trust of that disgusting, dirty, stinky, fatheaded, pompus, peebrained, MUDBLOOD. Yeah i said it so what make my story time rated R go head i dares ya." He yelled at the again invisible children.

"In the first book it was always my plan...yes MY PLAN to have him get stuck as that Knight and have Potter and the MUDBLOOD...ME(GOD) I love that word...to come to that wine place and then have potter come to me. In fact i never even wanted Potter it was that Pedophile Quible or whatever his name was. HE wanted to do things to the Potter boy that were just unamaginable so I killed him and made some crapy excuse that I couldn't touch Potter. Anyway my real plan unfurled in the movie version of the first book..." He leaned back in his chair as he said this revealing a big ol pot belly.

"See in the movie i had it so that there was no win room and Ronald would be hurt in the chess game and of course the stupid MUDBLOOD went to comfort her fallen 'friend' and the potter go on blah blah blah. So that was plan A and Q."

He stands up from his chair and walked over to a room labled "Dames" and went in.

Trickle trickle trickle came the noise ploop ploop came right after. Then the door opened...Creeeeeeek And he walked out and returned to his seat.

"NOw where was I? Yes yes I remember. My date with Dumbledore...wait wait no...uh that never happened." as he looked around suspiciously. "You didn't hear anything...ok?"

"The second third and forth book are all a blur from here on so uh i guess we'll just end this first story with...And they all died at my happy hands...THE END."