Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody: Big Time Rush, the characters, and all referenced scenes belong to Nickelodeon, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.

Author's Note: This was written from going through a rough point in my own life (where I had the thoughts to end it all- I managed to get out of that mindset with help; I still have my days). I don't think suicide is the answer, but I understand why some people think that it is; to all of those affected by suicide, please accept my thoughts and prayers.

Logan Mitchell stared at the blade in his hand. This was it; this was the last time he'd feel any pain. All the things that had been building up for 16 years would be gone with a slice. Logan thought back before he made the cut.

The first thing that had happened was he was named Hortense. That led to years of ridicule, until he started going by his middle name, Logan. Even then, the teasing didn't completely stop.

Then, at age 6, he'd accidentally broken his mother's vase. His father had beaten him so badly that he almost ended up in a coma. His father had been sentenced to jail time, and threatened Logan that he'd be back when he got out.

Age 13. Logan had his first kiss with Cielo Matthews; she then told the whole school that it was all a joke, and that Logan thought there was something there. She also told everyone Logan was gay.

Logan's dad got out when Logan turned 15; he'd made good on that promise. He'd beat Logan up again; this time, Logan fought back. Logan's dad was put back into prison.

Big Time Rush had come along, and things were looking up. He got along great with the guys (and Mama Knight and Katie); he and Kendall had a more-than-friends-thing going on. Until Jo Taylor came along, and Kendall said that gays were "God's abomination on the earth" and that "anyone who was friends with a gay person was going to hell for supporting their friend's choice". That sent Logan into a downward spiral- how could Kendall say something like that; when the other day he'd been kissing Logan like there was no tomorrow? It was the last straw for Logan.

Logan had written a note for everyone, telling them it wasn't their faults, that he was messed up and this was the only way out; he wrote a separate note for Kendall, which had a note for Logan's mom in it.

Since he had wanted to be a doctor as long as he could remember, Logan knew it was more successful if you cut down your wrist (following the vein) instead of across it (although that'd do the job too). Logan made that cut, and smiled as he felt the pain start to go away. He did the same thing on the other side, and closed his eyes, feeling like he was finally free.

That's how Kendall would find him; eyes closed and a smile on his face, in a pool of blood, free from all his pain.

After reading the note (and his separate note), Kendall would try to come to grips with why Logan felt the way he did. "I loved you too Logan." Kendall said. Then he called the rest of the guys and his mom (telling her to leave Katie with a neighbor; she didn't need to see this), so they could say their goodbyes. They all cried, but they knew Logan was in a better place now. The problem was, he'd left them all to suffer.

But with time, hopefully, they would all realize that it wasn't their faults; Logan did what he thought was best. Besides, they'd see him again one day.