Disclaimer: A parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel. I don't own the song. Nor do I own "James Bond"

A Walter PPK and a hand grenade

A Molotov Cocktail to boot

Just set the bomb, load your gun

And ya better get ready to shoot.

Just hop into your BMW

And drive down the highway real fast

Don't worry about wrecking the beemer, man

You'll have a sequel, you'll last

So kill us a supervillain, secret agent man!

Scuba dive in his pond!

'Cause you drink a martini, shaken not stirred

And you're name happens to be James Bond!

You always have a sidekick, man

You'll always end up with her in bed

But that's at the end of the movie, man

As long as she don't end up dead

If you really have one friend, I can name him

In two words I'll oust him; he's Q

You'll get some gadgets from him today

You'll end up destroying them, too

So let's get in a high spee-eed cha-ase now

Let's blow up a building or two

Because you're name is General James Bond

You're destruction is nothing new!

Now Moneypenny's in MI6

She's in love with James

But too bad for her, she'll never get him

He's with other dames

And the sexchanging leader of the ministry

Her name has always been "M"

Nobody seems to notice this, though

Her changing doesn't really bother them

Let's have one more explosion, secret agent man!

Blow up something tonight!

Even though you'll be on parole for this

You'll eventually be alright!