Disclaimer: No, I don't own Inheritance, if I did, I'd prefer to be bathing in money, not writing a fanfic!

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Chapter 1

Why me?

It was a bright, sunny day… a little too bright… in fact; the sun looked like it was smiling at him with an evil grin, but that might have been because Eragon was staring into it for several hours with amazement.

That's when he thought he might have gotten confirmation of his strange, evil sun vision. Orik was walking past, on his way to the new bookstore with new sensing, electric doors that open when you got near them.

Relieved to see him, he asked, "Hey, Orik, listen, could you tell me if you can see the-"

"Not now, Doris," he interrupted, "I've got to go get a copy of 'Axe sharpening for dummies', they're nearly out of stock!"

"What," said Eragon in bewilderment, "but my name's Eragon"

"Whatever you say, Erganon"

And with that he disappeared into the bookstore, leaving a completely befuddled Eragon staring, blankly after him.

"Holy sh-"

He was suddenly interrupted by a strange chocolate slamming into his forehead, knocking him out cold.

Several hours later, he awoke, finding out that the chocolate had melted, forming the words, "NO SWEARING, PLEASE, THIS FIC. IS NOT RATED FOR SUCH RUDNESS." Eragon decided to leave the chocolate there, thinking it would make him seem like a sweeter person. (HA HA HA, sorry, couldn't resist)

He decided to contact Saphira, she would certainly help.

Hey Saphira, you there?

Yes, little one, what is it?

Well don't you sound peeved?

Well, I was in the middle of something

What?

Bling-forging, if you must know.

Well anyway, I just called you because I've been having a really weird day

Well you should be

Why?

I've been talking to someone and I've head some shocking things about you…

What? What have I ever done?

You've broken into a super-intelligent fanfic writer's mind and gave him a very freakish nightmare!

What? I did no such thing!

Well, regardless, you're going to have to make it up to him…

What? How?

Well, that's why he was talking to me… The only way that you can make it up to him is to travel to the abode of Christopher Poalini and "convince" him to continue the inheritance trilogy soon. Comply, or suffer. And remember, never fight with an author, they're dangerous creatures.

As dangerous as the Barney show?

Don't ever mention that show again! That is just stupid; the author might have a fit and fall on the keyboard. Do you know what could happen if he does that?

No… What?

It's happened before; he had to… delete… all of them… (Breaks down and starts crying)

"Okay, that, too, was random… I guess I'll just have to visit this "Poalini" guy or my life will just be doomed. Okay, Mr. Poalini, here I come!"

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FINISHED! This is my first fanfic so pls dnt flame me too bad… plz?

Can you guess what's in for Eragon in his quest to free himself from the evil author's randomness? Will Orik get his axe-sharpening right? How will Saphira do in bling-forging?

Only reviews will tell, so… RRRRREEEEEVVVVEEEEIIIWWW!