Nothing.

He felt nothing.

He should feel something, but he just...

He couldn't believe it.

Was she really gone?

It's been weeks since she's passed. And yet...he still wasn't able to cry. That shouldn't be normal. He should be crying. He should be feeling something. He was trying to feel something, but no matter how much he wanted to, he still felt nothing.

He was numb- he felt like he was on anesthesia and couldn't snap out of it. He went through life fine. He ate. He showered. He went to school. But it was all like a blur of color, as if he were on a speeding train and the blurred, outside world was what was going on outside of his mind.

His friends were tender and gentle with him, as if they were afraid that he was going to break like a fragile piece of glass. Not that he could blame them. Len shifted his gaze to a picture on the bookshelf he currently sat next to.

Rin.

The picture was taken before the incident, probably a few months before. Those were the times when everything was whole and peaceful. When everyone was happy.

When he could feel properly.

It was a Friday, and a rather beautiful Friday. The sun engulfed the Earth with its' bright rays, and it was warm with the occasional light breeze passing through. It was quiet, the sounds of honking horns and traffic and the neighbors joyously yelling at each other from across the street ceased to nothing. The birds sang a sweet and beautiful song that would be music to other people's ears. The flowers outside the window were vibrant and healthy looking. A hummingbird zipped by, pausing to feed form a flower before zooming on to its' destination. A blue butterfly landed on a rose outside, then flew off after a few minutes.

Normally, Len would be cherishing the nice day. He'd probably going to the park with his friends, or even going out on a walk, but not today.

Not for a while.

Len wondered what was wrong with him.

The sound of the locks on his front door turning made him snap out of his thoughts. He stared at it, watching as the door opened and a familiar figure came through, struggling with several bags.

"Yo!" Miku yelled joyfully, kicking the door open further. She teetered a little bit to the right, as if she was about to fall. "Shit!"

Len looked at his best friend with a wary look. Miku kicked the door behind her, resulting in the door slamming shut. She waddled over to the couch and dropped her bags on the floor, where they landed with a loud thump.

"God, those were killing me!" She muttered tiredly, kicking off her black and white Converse and curling up on the couch next to Len. Miku Hatsune was his best friend. The two met when they were 11 years old, when Miku was getting picked on by some girls. Ever since then, the two have become close. Miku had the key to Len's house, and Len had the key to hers. It was not uncommon for either of them to barge in without a notice beforehand.

Miku looked down at her feet. Her right sock was bright pink with yellow polka dots, and her left sock was blue with white stripes. "Your socks aren't matching," Len pointed out. Miku rolled her aquamarine eyes.

"Oh? I haven't noticed." She replied sarcastically, taking her long teal locks out of the ponytail she wore. The corners of Len's mouth twitched upwards and for a moment, he felt something warm in his heart- the oh-so familiar feeling of the love he always felt towards Miku Hatsune.

"Why are you here?" He asked her. Miku picked up one of the bags and unzipped it, revealing the contents inside.

His gym clothes. He didn't go to school that day- he had to take care of his little cousin for the first half of the day, and by the time he was done, there was really no point in going. He looked at them, confused, then back up at Miku.

"How-"

"Sh." She put her index finger up to his lips before he could utter another word. "I have my ways." Len decided that he didn't want to know.

"Plus, I also brought your homework and my textbooks. We did a lot today, so I'll be your drop dead gorgeous and brilliant private tutor. You're welcome." She said, bringing the second bag up with a groan that showcased her lack of upper body strength.

She brought out her honors chemistry book, then her honors history book, accompanied with her smaller, paper thin advanced math book. Len and Miku shared all those classes together, and anyone with honors classes would know how much homework students get sometimes.

"So..." She said, clapping her hands with a sigh. "Lets get started with history. It's the easiest, since we just have a few pages of notes and a couple worksheets." She opened the books, flipping the pages quickly. When she got to where she wanted, she got a folder out and handed several papers to Len.

"So, Len...how are you holding up?" She casually asked. Len knew Miku well enough to know that she was concerned about him. He was pretty sure everyone was- he lost someone very important recently, and he hasn't shown any signs of sadness.

"I'm fine," He replied nonchalantly. She stopped whatever she was doing to look at him. Miku sighed softly.

"You're not," She said, turning slightly towards him, her hands on her lap. "You just lost somebody that is very close to you." Len looked down, not sure of what he should say.

"I..." He muttered after a while. "I feel...numb..."

"I can't cry. I tried. I feel like...I feel like I can't feel. I should be feeling something. Why can't I? What's...wrong with me?" He couldn't look at Miku. What would she think of him? Would she think that he was a monster?

He felt the couch shift, and soon enough he felt Miku's very skinny arms wrap around him in a tight embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder and gave a small sigh. "You know, when I first met you and Rin, these girls were being mean to me, calling me names and just being horrible. But then, you two came and scared them away. You were so kind to me, so caring even though I was just a stranger. You asked if I was okay and you gave me your jacket, even though it was a sunny and warm day and checked for injuries and offered to take me home. It was the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for me." Miku paused for a moment.

"So why would you think that I would think of you badly?"

Len shrugged sheepishly, and little by little, an emotion started to settle within him- sadness. For the first time in a while, a lump began to rise in his throat, making it difficult for him to speak.

"I..." Len croaked. "I was supposed to be upset and cry like everyone else...and I couldn't..."

"You're in shock," Miku told him softly, gently. "Grief comes in seven stages...one of them happens to be shock. Believe me, I...I know. You feel like you can't feel. But soon, it'll go away." Len blinked back the tears that desperately wanted to escape from his sky blue eyes.

"It's okay to cry." Miku told Len. His heart swelled with different emotions- sadness, bitterness, he even felt bittersweet. But he didn't want to cry in front of Miku. He knew that he wanted to cry ever since the numbness set in, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had to be strong.

"Every step of the way, Len..."

"...I will be there with you."