Hidden Names
While letting my mind wonder and not paying attention to the lesson I was in I started to come up with this one-shot. I just thought it would be hilarious if this was actually real! Enjoy
Disclaimer: I do not own Gorillaz.
It was going to be another ordinary day that turned interesting for the famous cartoon band. It started with 2D and Noodle playing video games in the front room and Murdoc hanging around waiting for his turn.
"Oh no! It's going to get me!"
"Ah go' I' Noods! Hold on!"
2D didn't have much health left and that part of the game would probably end as soon as his character died yet he bravely went to rescue Noodle's character that was cornered by the monster that they were fighting against. Murdoc saw his chance. He had gotten so bored with waiting; he was so rubbish with video games that 2D's go took longer than his did so it meant having to wait even longer! He quietly crept up behind 2D and waited for the character to be vulnerable. The monster turned to the character and launched into attack mode.
"Look out 2D-Kun!"
One swipe would kill 2D's character and that's what Murdoc was planning. The bassist quickly thrust his hands under the singer's armpits and tickled him. The singer yelped and threw his arms up in the air. On the screen the monster swiped the un-armed man and 2D's character was dead. The menu screen flashed up shortly after.
"Muds! Wat was tha' fer?"
"Murdoc-San that was un-called for."
Murdoc shrugged smirking. "I'm bored. It's my go now Faceache."
2D thrust the video game controller away from Murdoc. The Satanist grabbed the controller and they began a mini tug of war.
"No, tha' weren't fair, ya made meh lose!"
"I don't care, my go."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
Noodle sighed and screamed as loud as she could to get their attention which caused them to drop the controller. She hadn't had to do that since she was little and she couldn't speak English! After recovering from their ringing ears the boys turned to see what the teenager had to say.
"Please stop fighting! I am not your mother; I do not need to be telling you this! Stop acting like children!"
Just then Russel burst into the room.
"Noodle-girl! You ok? What the hell happened?"
"I'm fine Russel-Sama. I just had to get their attention because they were arguing."
Russel just nodded slowly with a look of shock and bewilderment still on his face.
"'Ey Russ," asked 2D "Where were ya? Ah ain't seen ya in ages."
"Ah was just clearing some garbage out that was in the junk room. Actually, Muds, ah found something interesting that ah think yours. Would you care to tell me what it is?"
"Show me."
Russel led the rest of the band to the junk room. There was a massive clue in the name of its contents. It was indeed a room filled with rubbish and old objects that the band had locked away over the years. Unfortunately for some reason there was always rubbish (as in mouldy waste worthy of the bin) that appeared in the room and it really started to smell after a short while. When it finally got to the point where it was no longer standable Russel was the one who always found himself clearing it away much to his hatred of it. As he said he found something interesting that was Murdoc's and wanted to know what the hell it was.
The band cramped together in the tiny cluttered room as Russel found the picture frame with something on that he found earlier and handed it to Murdoc. The bassist examined it for a moment before giving off a small laugh.
"Oh yes!" he exclaimed "I remember this."
"What is it Murdoc-San?" asked Noodle.
"My contract with the devil to say I gave him my soul. Take a look."
Noodle took the contract from Murdoc and 2D also looked at it from over her shoulder.
"Muds? Ah fink dare's an error on tha'."
"How is there an error Faceache? Satan never gets anything wrong!"
"Bu' i' says ya 'av two middle names. Ah fought ya name was jus' Murdoc Alphonse Niccals, where did Faust come from?"
Murdoc rolled his eyes. "Satan gave me that one to show my eternal worship of him….or something like that."
2D gave a noise of understanding and nodded without looking up.
"Middle names are weird." He said to himself.
"I wouldn't know 2D-Kun, I don't have one!" Noodle commented.
"Oh yeah. D'ya wan' one?"
"No thanks."
"You know 'D," said Russel suddenly "ah don't think ah asked you before but…what's your middle name?"
2D started to feel uneasy and slightly anxious.
"W-Wha'?"
Murdoc's face lit up and the sight of his panicking band mate.
"Yeah Faceache, what is it? I don't know either!"
"He has not told me also." said Noodle "I wonder why not….2D-Kun? Are you ok?"
2D just stood there quivering slightly. It was clear that he didn't want anyone else to know. This theory was backed up by the singer squeaking;
"N-No."
Before anyone could react 2D turned and fled the room as fast as he could. That name was his and his alone to know.
If the others found out he would be a laughing stock for the rest of his life!
He sprinted down the corridor and dashed into the lift to go back downstairs. The doors closed just before the others reached him. 2D had made an error when he chose to run away, it meant that the band knew it was stupid and they were determined to know how stupid it really was. They ran down the stairs in an attempt to catch the singer but he had already left the lift and disappeared. The gang ran to the front room just in time to see 2D fiddling with the keys to get out the front door. He turned, yelped and began to make a bigger mess with the keys. Murdoc saw his chance and rugby tackled him to the ground.
"AAARRRGHH! Muds! Get off, get off, GET OFF!"
Russel pulled the crazed bassist off the poor singer and helped him up. However 2D knew he was cornered, there was no other way out of this one.
"C'mon 'D, it's not that bad, is it?" asked Russel sympathetically.
"I' is." 2D mumbled.
"He's not going to tell us lards," said Murdoc "We'll have to guess."
"2D-Kun, you can tell us, what is it? Is it a foreign name?"
He didn't say anything.
"How stupid is it 'D? Is it as stupid as….ah dunno…. 'Eugene?'"
"….No."
"Oh! I think I know!" cried Murdoc "Is it a girl's name? Is it something like….'Debra'?"
"No."
"Chrissie?"
"No!"
"Bertha? I bet it's that."
"It's no' a girl name Muds!"
"Well you're not exactly making it easy for us mate."
"Well maybe 'at's because ah don' wan' ya ta kno'!"
Russel stepped forward. He had been around 2D long enough to know how his little brain worked.
"'D, why don't you just tell me?"
2D looked a little more reassured at this. One person was better than three and he trusted Russel enough to tell.
"D-D'ya promise no' ta laugh?"
"I'll try but there's no guarantee."
"O-Ok. Don' tell meh ah didn't' warn ya."
The singer took a deep breath, crept over to the drummer and finally whispered the dreaded name into his ear. For a few seconds it was quiet but then Russel broke into a laughing fit.
"Ah told ya, ah told ya you'd laugh!"
Russel continued to snigger to himself and it only left the bassist and guitarist even more eager to know what it was.
"Is it that bad Russel-Sama?" asked Noodle already knowing the answer.
Russel just nodded too much in hysterics to actually speak.
"What is it Russ? Tell me, tell me."
Murdoc motioned him to come and tell him. The sniggering drummer went over to him to tell him what he wanted to know.
"No! Dear god don't tell Murdoc, Don't tell Murdoc." 2D muttered to himself.
It was Murdoc that was his biggest fear because he was least likely to forget about this kind of things. However it was already too late, Russel was whispering in Murdoc's ear, or at least trying to.
"'E's telling Murdoc." The poor singer said to himself.
Russel pulled away now he had finally delivered his message. Murdoc's face tensed and he too broke out laughing. He bent forward resting his hands on his hands on his knees to stop him falling over.
Noodle looked at them confused. She turned to 2D who was pinching the gap between his eyes.
"Why'd ya tell Murdoc?" he mumbled.
"What is it? I may as well know now." Noodle demanded.
2D sighed as Murdoc pointed at him. He was about speak before laughing again.
"WHAT!" she needed to know!
Finally Murdoc broke the suspense by shouting out the name that caused all of the trouble.
"…Romeo?"
The boys continued to nearly wet themselves as Noodle finally understood. Her reaction was slightly different to the others.
"AWWWW! That is so cute 2D-Kun!"
The singer groaned and his face flushed bright red. No wonder he wanted to keep that one quiet. The bassist and drummer were finally showing signs of calming down when it suddenly came to them.
"Why the hell did you get THAT for your name?" yelled Murdoc.
2D began the story from the best of his knowledge.
"One o' me great aunts or somefink is Italian, i' were 'er idea. I' were dis' close for being me actual name but fanks ta me dad i' weren't. 'E said tha' i' would be the end of meh if tha' were me name so ah fank 'im fer tha'."
Murdoc sniggered again.
"Ok man, the jokes over, ya need ta calm down now." Russel said surprising everyone.
"Do you know why they chose Romeo and not another Italian name?" pondered the Japanese guitarist "I only ask because of…you know… 'Romeo and Juliet'. I just didn't know if there was a reason." She whispered the name of the famous Shakespearian play when she said it.
The singer closed his eyes wishing she had never mentioned it. Murdoc grinned showing some of his evil teeth.
"I forgot about that. Is there Faceache?"
Well the day can't get any worse. Unfortunately he knew that story too. He replied like he was reading straight from a script with no emotion and as if he had repeated all the time.
"When ah was born, me mum said ah was blessed by the 'angels of beauty' an' so named meh after the famous lover from Shakespeare. Happy?"
Everyone in the room blinked and began screaming with laughter again. Even Noodle joined in!
"Very!"
"I still think that is very adorable as well as amusing." Noodle, the first to calm down, went up to him and patted his shoulder. She nodded approvingly.
"Stuart Romeo Pot."
"NOODLE!"
"I'm sorry. I wanted to see what it sounded like all together. Forgive me please!"
2D just rolled his eyes. Murdoc and Russel finally stopped laughing and looked back at the singer who was scowling down at them.
"Finished?" he asked insultingly.
"I think so….*snigger*…it's still funny though 'D."
2D sighed. "'M goin' ta me room. Call meh ou' in 'bout…ah dunno…50 years."
He slunk off with a taunting Murdoc trailed behind him as he left the room.
"Oh Romeo! Romeo! Where for art thou Romeo?"
"SHUT UP!"
For a moment Russel and Noodle were left alone. Noodle sniggered to herself. She liked Romeo; it was a cute name for 2D. It suited him too! She didn't really see what he was so embarrassed about in the first place. Then she got an obvious thought.
"Russel-Sama? Would you mind if I asked your middle name?"
Russel looked down at her. Like 2D, he didn't really want everyone to know but unlike the singer he wasn't a pushover. Yet he trusted the teenager well enough to know she wasn't going to blab to everyone if he didn't want her to. He looked either side in case the singer or bassist had come back.
"You better not tell anyone 'k Noods?"
She nodded. He bent down and whispered it into her ear. When came back up the guitarist looked up at him and shrugged with no major expression on her face.
"What's wrong with that?" she asked.
"What do you THINK is wrong with it?"
"It's not as bad as 2D's I can tell you that."
"You think?"
She shook her head. Noodle then excused herself and left the room. In the corridor however she couldn't hold back any longer. She sniggered as the amusing name came back again.
"Hee-hee….Eugene." she mumbled to herself.
Yep, that's his name! That Eugene thing at the end was just an add-on because I thought it was funny. It's weird though, I look at a poster of the band when I'm typing and I'm not lying when I say that 2D does look so much like a Romeo (Yeah, yeah, funny. You know what I really mean). Remember, I don't know their actual middle names and I'm not picking on anyone with the same name either. Let me know what you thought and I should return….some other time. Bye!
Edit: Got a few commenters telling me 2D's actual middle name is Harold (didn't know that). Only just found that on Wikipedia. I've been a huge fan for over a year and I have never noticed that before! Weird...
