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Thats the sound of rain falling in Jacob's garage. God, I love that sound. Its the only thing thats been keeping me sane while he works. See, Jacob won't talk to me anymore at least not since he's been back. Our conversations have no beginning and it used to be that they would have no end. But not anymore and its my fault. Sure he lets me sit here, but I don't even think he notices. He doesn't greet me when I come in and he doesn't say goodbye either. Its like I'm not even on his radar. I'm just some tiny insignificant thing that he can just ignore. I guess to him I'm nothing, but that doesn't matter. I just...I just need him to say something, anything. Thats all I want. Today is the last day. I have to get him to talk to me. One word just one, thats all I need.

"Jacob". He didn't answer

"Jacob, please look at me." He turned, but only to grab a wrench and then he went back to what he was doing.

I sighed and glanced at my watch. The minutes seemed to be ticking faster toward when I had to leave. Okay one more try.

"Jacob, would you please talk to me." I waited and waited, but still nothing. Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized that it was time to go. They slowly made their way, almost like a dance, down my face as I headed toward him.

I stopped directly in front before ducking under his arm. This way I was inbetween him and the car, but he still didn't take notice. His height allowed him to see over me and continue what he was doing. Seconds passed like eons as I bit my lip trying to come up with the right words. Finally I just had to let it go and say what has been on my mind for a while now.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway. I love you, Jacob. I love you more than I can bear and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've messed up your life and now I'm about to leave you and I hate myself for it. If it wasn't for me...if I weren't so selfish, this never would have happened. I should have left you alone, but I didn't and..."

Sobs racked through me as I tried to go on. "...and I regret it. I regret hurting you, the one person I swore that I would never hurt."

It was getting harder to control my sobs. I need him to know, to understand. Wiping stray tears, I lifted my hands to his cheeks. I hadn't noticed that he had stopped moving. He still wasn't looking at me, but he was listening.

"Jacob". He didn't answer

"Jacob please," I begged. He still didn't turn, but a tear slid down his cheek.

"Oh, Jacob." I did it again, I hurt him. I need to make this right, he has to know.

"I need you to know something. I lied." He turned at that. All the pain he had, all of it burred straight in to me. It left me speechless, the pain in his eyes. How much more pain was I about to put him in?

"I lied when I said that you weren't enough. You have always been enough, more than enough. Its me who isn't. You keep telling me it doesn't matter, but it does Jacob. You love me now, I know you do, but what happens later down the road. I'm never going to get past Edward and what life would that be for you? To know that...to live with it will be unbearable. Before long you'll come to resent me for it. You won't say it, but I'll know it. Thats why I have to leave you. Its the only way. You deserve better than me. So much better."

With those words I kissed him. It wasn't sweet or passionate just sad and full of regret. I ended it just as it began. I needed to see his face. It reflected so many emotions before he wrapped his hands around me and buried his nose in my hair. He slowly inhaled my scent and said softly, "Bells".

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