Hello Readers :D thank you so much for clicking on my story. I hope you like it! I have been away from fan fiction for a while now. I read a lot but i haven't had the passion to write. It feels so good to be writing again :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing :(
Sam 16/Dean 22
A/N: this is before everything that has happened in the show and before season one. Enjoy!
Everything happened within a split second. One second Dean was standing in the grimy doorway, the next he was in Sam's face, knocking the knife from his hands and shoving him hard against the tile wall.
Sam couldn't ever remember a time he had seen Dean this angry. His face was bright red, veins were pulsating on his forehead and to Sam, it looked as though he was ready to explode.
"What are you trying to do!? Where are you trying to go! I loved you loved me! Why are you trying to leave me! What I do if you left me here alone!" Dean screamed. Crying and sobbing, he could barely get he words out.
Dean had so much hurt and betrayal in his eyes, Sam had to look away. Dean's words instantly tore Sam's heart in two. Ripped open his chest and pulled it out.
"Dean-"
"No! Don't..don't fucking say anything."
At this point both brothers had tears streaming down their a sob, Dean released his death grip and sank down onto the cold, porcelain floor. He held his face in his hands and cried, gripping his hair with his hands.
Dean was angry and scared to hell. Demons, spirits, ghosts all these things were frightening sure, but he knew how to fight them. He knew the rules that governed their existence and he knew what to do. Or at least, he and Sam could always figure it everything they had been through Dean had never been so scared in his life until now and he didn't know what to do. He was at a complete loss in fact and that feeling scared him and angered him more than anything else. All he could do was sit there, lost in thought, lost in desperation. He felt powerless to act. Helpless and pointless in his life. There was nothing that he hated more than that. Dean knew he was failing and he couldn't see a way to change that for his baby brother.
Sam could only stare down at his brother in shock. He had never seen Dean freak on his like this, let alone cry in front of him. He had barely seen any emotion from his older brother which is one thing he had always envied about him.
Does he really care about me this much? Sam wondered to himself. maybe i was being selfish. Only thinking about myself and how good the pain I was causing to myself, felt at the time. I would do anything to take it back..or to at least tried harder to keep it from Dean.
Pulling himself from his thoughts Sam now realized he was sitting on the seat of the dirty toilet, facing his brother. It took all he had not to reach down and pull his older brother into a hug, knowing it would only make everything worse.
Dean finally looked up and with horror realized blood was still dripping from his brother's wrist. Dean stood up so fast he had to brace himself against the wall to not collapse.
"Stay here."
Sam looked up through teary eyes when his monotone brother spoke.
He's leaving me. he doesn't care. He's so mad at ,e he doesn't care if i kill myself now.
Dean strode back into the bathroom carrying the first aid kit. In silence, he began to he began to clean and wrap his Sam's torn up wrist, silently deciding that they were not deep enough to require stitches.
Once finished, Dean sighed exaggeratedly and slumped against the wall, refusing to look at anything but his hands.
Sam broke the silence, "Dean.."
Dean looked up as if any other sound but silence shocked him.
"I know your mad at me. maybe you even hate me right now. and I know your not ready to talk..to understand. But i need you to do something for me."
This made Dean lift his head and finally make eye contact with his broken brother. Sam noticed how red and puffy Deans eyes were.
"Please don't tell dad..he can't know Dean. he has enough going on to worry about his stupid, suicidal son."
Dean scoffed.
"let's just keep this between me and you..please Dean. We will take care of this..I will-"
"Sam.." Dean spoke, cutting his brother off, "Protecting you is the greatest thing i will ever do in my life..Please don't take that away from me. Please don't make me live without you.' Dean was sobbing by the end of expressing his anguish, shoulders shaking.
"Dean.." Sam stared at his brother wide-eyed and shocked. Then he slid down off of the toilet and sat beside his big brother, pulling him into his scrawny arms. "I'm so sorry..I'm sorry Dean."
Dean and Sam sat just like that for a while. Crying and sobbing. until finally Dean could not handle it anymore.
"Please Sam..I can't..I..just need to be alone for a while," Dean stated, slowly pulling away from his brother's grasp.
Sam looked at Dean for a moment longer before giving him one last hug and standing up.
Staring at each other through bleary eyes Sam waked out and shut the door behind him.
A/N: I hope yo enjoyed it :) please leave a review..it would make my day and inspire me to continue writing the next chapter which will be a couple days before the time of this one and in Sam's point of view :)
