Daylight
Disclaimer - I do not own the characters etc.
Loosely inspired by "Daylight" by Maroon 5. With my own twist at the end :P
Jane woke with a startle. She was glad to find it was still dark out. For someone who was once afraid of the dark, it now held her only comfort. The darkness meant she still had time. The moon's presence meant she still had Maura. Her heart was both full and empty all at once. She was both satisfied and yet lonely. For she knew that once daylight was upon them she would have to leave. Tomorrow was the day. After a week of pure bliss, Maura's husband would be home.
One week earlier
Jane entered the BPD and made her wait straight down to the morgue to deliver Maura her coffee. This was their ritual, instituted by Jane, of course. She always found it was most pleasant to begin her morning with her favourite M.E.. Jane had been aware for quite some time that the feelings she had for Maura went beyond friendship. She also understood that they could never be together. Maura had Ian. She was married. And she had never given Jane any indication that she felt anything for her beyond friendship. Yes, it broke Jane's heart, but she would much rather have Maura as a friend than not at all.
"Hey Maur, brought you your coffee." Jane proceeded to walk over to the doctor's desk and handed her the coffee.
"Thanks Jane." Maura replied flatly. This concerned Jane. Usually Maura was a lot more chipper when Jane brought her coffee.
"What's wrong Maur?" Jane asked as she reached for her best friends hand.
Maura looked down at their entangled hands and inhaled deeply. There was electricity there. There always had been, if only the detective would have acknowledged it. Maybe she wouldn't be in the situation she was today. However, she knew that Jane had never been and never would love her the way she wanted.
"Maura, I can see that big brain of yours working overtime. You are starting to worry me, what's going on?" Jane was now rubbing the M.E's hand with her thumb.
"My brain is no bigger than yours Jane..." She stopped herself from going into her 'google-speak' as Jane called it. "Ian has left for Africa." She said sadly. His name alone was enough to make Jane visibly tense up. "He's not coming back" Maura was more sad that she was once again being left alone than the fact that Ian had left her.
"What! Oh Maur, I'm sorry. But he is an idiot to leave you. I know how much you guys love each other, I'm sure he will be back. Everything will be fine." Jane weakly offered. She wanted to tell Maura that she deserved better. That she deserved someone who would never leave. Someone who would never choose anything or anyone over her happiness. But, Jane knew she couldn't so instead she hugged her best friend as tightly as she could manage.
"I just hate being alone in that house. I always feel so alone there." Tears were now escaping her eyes as she could no longer hide her anguish and fear from the detective.
"Oh Maur. You are never alone. Even if Ian is gone, you will always have me." Jane smiled from ear to ear, trying to reassure the doctor. "If it will make you feel better, I can stay with you for a while."
Maura looked intently at Jane. "You would do that for me?"
"I would do anything for you." Jane replied with a shrug. She meant those words and secretly hoped Maura would see the hidden message. She didn't of course. She never did and Jane had to assume it was because she didn't want to.
Maura pulled Jane in closer. "Thank you so much Jane."
Jane felt herself melt into the doctors embrace. She knew she needed to pull away but allowed herself one more moment of warmth before she moved. "Well I should get to work, but I will see you tonight."
And before her brain caught up, she leant in and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of Maura's mouth. 'Crap crap crap! I just kissed her! What do I do now?' Jane decided to do what she does best - she ran out of that room as quickly as possible, leaving a shocked Maura in her aftermath.
'Jane just kissed me! It must have been an accident. Surely... Yes. An accident.' The M.E. wished so desperately that it was a deliberate action but she knew better than to get her hopes up. At least she had a week with Jane staying with her. She found herself more excited about this prospect than she ever had of being with Ian. She decided she was going to make the most of the week.
"Maura, I'm home." Jane called out as she entered the house, lugging her bags behind her.
"Hi Jane, just in time for dinner." Maura replied as she grabbed Janes bags and starting taking them towards her bedroom. Jane quickly realised her bags were being carted in the opposite direction to the guest room she usually slept in.
"Ah Maur, I hate to have to remind you of the layout of your own home, but the guest room is in the opposite direction." Maura simply smirked and continued her journey.
"I know Jane, but I was hoping you would sleep in my bed with me." The doctor had made up her mind on this decision before Jane had arrived but was now suddenly very self conscious. "Unless of course that makes you uncomfortable... I would just feel safer with you beside me." She placed the bags on the bed and looked down at her feet, suddenly too afraid to look her best friend in the eye for fear of rejection.
Seeing Maura so unsure of herself broke Jane's heart. She would do anything to bring that beautiful smile back to the blonde's face. "Not at all Maur, I would much rather sleep with you...I mean... beside you."
"Ok, it's settled then." Maura said softly as she smiled from ear to ear.
"God I love to see you smile Maur. I'd do anything just to keep that beautiful smile on your face." Why can I not keep those thoughts to myself?! Jane mused as her face turned crimson red. She does have a gorgeous smile though. And her lips. I just want to taste them. Gah stop thinking that about your married best friend. Jane slapped her for forehead in an attempt to rid her brain of those thoughts.
"Jane, you really shouldn't do that." Maura said as she moved closer and grasped Jane's wrist. Jane quickly realised how dangerously close they were. She knew she needed to pull away, as she always did, but for the first time she found her limbs unwilling to obey her brain's command to move. Besides, Maura had a firm (yet gentle) grasp on her wrist, she was in control here. She felt the M.E. let go of her wrist and she suddenly felt a sense of loss that the moment was over.
Maura though, had other plans. She saw the subtle signs of arousal in Jane. Her chest slightly flushed, her pupils dilated. That gave Maura all the courage she needed to continue. She released Jane's wrist and moved her hands to her waist. She then pulled Jane closer so that their hips were flush, eliciting a low moan from Jane. "You kissed me this morning Jane." Maura said as she tightened her grip on the detectives hips.
"Mmm... I...I'm sorry?" She somehow managed to say.
"I'm not." Maura replied flatly as she moved her mouth closer to Jane's, until they were mere millimeters apart. "But I wish you would have stayed long enough for me to do this." Maura crashed her lips into Jane's. Jane quickly responded to her kiss as they both moaned. Maura's tongue swiped at Jane's bottom lip, seeking entrance to her mouth. Jane quickly acquiesced and the kiss deepened.
It was not long, however, before Jane's brain caught up. She pushed Maura away and started pacing the room. "Maura, what was that?" She asked as she brushed her hands through her hair.
"That was a kiss? An incredible kiss if I do say so myself." Maura started moving towards Jane who quickly retreated.
"But you are still married Maur. We can't do this!" Jane was having an internal fight between her heart and her head. Her heart was telling her to make love to the love of her life but her head was telling her this was all wrong.
"Jane, I have loved you for as long as I can remember. But I never had any inclination that you felt the same way until this morning. I could never love Ian like I love you. I told you, it's over between us. But I understand if you don't want to be with me..."
The M.E. was now standing dejectedly in the corner of the room and the detective felt her last barrier fall. "Of course I love you Maur and of course I want to be with you!" Jane breached the gap between them and kissed Maura once more. This kiss was less frenzied and more of an affirmation of their now spoken love.
"You promise it's over for good Maur?" Jane asked as she broke the kiss.
"I promise Jane, as soon as I get his forwarding address I will be sending him all his belongings. Now will you kiss me?"
Jane pushed the blonde back on to the bed and straddled her before leaning down to whisper in her ear. "I'm going to do more than kiss you my dear."
They both had decided to take the week off to get accustomed to their new relationship. Their first few days were spent mainly in the bedroom, with them only leaving to eat and occasionally watch some tv together.
Jane woke up on the fourth day to the sound of heaving coming from the bathroom. She quickly ran to find Maura hunched over the toilet. She swiftly sat beside the doctor and pulled her hair lovingly from her face. "Are you sick Maur?"
"No Jane." The brunette tilted her head so she could get a good look at the M.E. She noted a very worried look on her lovers face.
"Maur, what is it then?" Jane was quickly becoming more and more concerned, it was so unlike Maura to be sick like this. She watched intensely as the M.E. reached up to grab what looked like a stick off the counter.
"I think I'm pregnant Jane." The doctor managed to blurt out before a torrent of tears started streaming down her face. She thrust the pregnancy test into the detective's hands.
Jane closed her eyes tightly, too afraid to look. She prayed for one line but she already knew in her heart that she would see two. She took a deep breath before finding the courage to open her eyes and face the test. Two lines. She dropped her head, not wanting Maura to see the tears now spilling from her eyes. Why was this happening? They were finally happy. They were together after all these years and now Maura was pregnant with Ian's baby. How could they be together now? Maura would no doubt go back to Ian, the father of her child. Jane wanted to scream. She wanted to run out the door and never return. But this was her best friend. Her best friend who was clearly not thrilled about this situation herself. Jane knew inspite of they heartache she was experiencing, she needed to be there for Maura.
The detective placed her hand lovingly on the blonde's back, rubbing her hand up and down to try to soothe her. "What am I going to do Jane?" Maura questioned between her sobs.
"I don't know sweetie. Only you can answer that." Jane knew in that moment that she would support her best friend no matter what decision she made. Even though it would probably kill her, she would support Maura. She was the love of her life and her best friend, she would do whatever she needed in order to make sure Maura was happy. Even if that meant going back to just being best friends. "Whatever you decide though Maur, I will always be here. I promise." Jane vowed as she gently kissed Maura's temple.
"I think I need to call Ian." Maura responded as she lifted herself off the floor and left the bathroom. She retrieved her phone and made her way out to the living room.
Jane thought it best for her to remain in the bedroom and give Maura some space while she spoke with Ian. She was absolutely petrified. What if Maura goes back to Ian? That thought was too painful for Jane to even consider yet. She decided to try her best to wait patiently for the M.E.'s return.
After about ten minutes Maura returned to the bedroom and sat down beside Jane on the bed.
"So... How did it go?" Jane was almost too afraid to ask but she needed to know one way or the other. SHe nervously rubbed her hands as she waited for the doctor's response.
"He is coming home in a week to discuss everything. Can we just pretend like this hasn't happened? I just want to have this week with you without thinking about Ian or this baby. Please Jane?"
Jane visibly winced as Maura made her request. This was the one course of action she was most afraid of. She knew what it meant. She knew that she would have Maura for a few more glorious days. She also recognised that once the week was over Maura would once again be Ian's. She knew she needed to say no but somehow the word yes escaped her lips instead. It was worth it though, just to see a smile on her doctor's face once more. Jane tried her best to return the smile, but her heart was slowly tearing in two. She knew the time would come very soon when she would need to let Maura go. But that time was not yet, and she was determined to enjoy the small amount of time they had left.
Present Day
They had the most amazing few days together. Jane almost allowed herself to be completely happy but she couldn't help feel more and more sad as their time together slowly drew to a close.
This was their last night together. It was ending too soon. Maura would be picking up Ian from the airport tomorrow and Jane would go back to being her best friend. They hadn't spoken about what would happen tomorrow but Jane already knew the outcome and tried her best to prepare herself for it. However, there is no preparing yourself for walking away from the love of your life.
Jane was unable to fall back to sleep, thoughts and memories were swirling through her brain. She didn't want to fall asleep because she knew when she woke she would have to slip away. She knew once daylight came, they would be apart once more. She held Maura even closer as tears started streaming down her face. She wiped the tears from her face in order to allow herself to take in every inch of Maura. She simply stared at her perfection, wanting to etch the doctor's body forever into her memory. She couldn't help lamenting on how beautiful the M.E. was. She had never seen such beauty before and she knew she would never see it again.
She looked up with dread as she noticed the sun rising and the stars burning out. She begged for somebody to slow it down. She just wanted a few more moments with Maura in her arms. This was by far the hardest thing the detective had ever experienced. Harder than dealing with Hoyt, more painful than shooting herself. Jane was sure this would be the death of her, at least emotionally.
She felt Maura stir and buried her face into the doctor's back as her tears once again flowed. The blonde turned to face Jane as she wiped the tears from her eyes and gently kissed her lips. Jane knew she needed to go but she relished in the kiss for one last time before pulling herself away.
"Please don't stop." Maura begged as Jane broke the kiss.
Jane rose of the bed before turning back for one last glance of Maura to file away in her memory. "I never wanted to stop." She choked out through her sobs. "But you have to go get Ian in a matter of hours."
"I do have to go pick him up, yes." She stated matter-of-factly. "But I don't have to bring him home with him."
"What? But Maur, you are having his baby!" Jane retorted. She wanted so desperately to believe what Maura was saying but her heart was to broken to allow herself to consider the idea of having happiness with the doctor.
"That doesn't mean I have to stay with him Jane. I love you. I haven't loved Ian for some time now. It's always been you and I want to be with you. Unless the idea of being a mom is too much for you to handle in which case I will completely understand. Either way though I am not bringing Ian home with me. I don't love him anymore and this marriage was over a long time ago. This baby doesn't change that."
Jane stood motionless with her mouth open. Never in a million years did she expect for Maura to choose her. "I've never thought about being a mom." She replied in earnest. She knew she needed to elaborate once she saw Maura's head drop. "But I couldn't imagine anything else that I want more right now."
Maura ran over to the detective and embraced her before crashing their lips together and dragging her onto the bed.
"Mmm Maur, as much as I want to continue this... You need to pick up Ian, remember?"
"Will you come with me?" The doctor refused to bring her eyes to meet Jane's, afraid she might reject her.
"Of course Maur. I'm with you every step of the way. Forever." The detective reached for the doctor's chin and gently pulled her face up to look at her. "I love you Dr Isles"
"I love you Detective Rizzoli. Always."
