1. Oblivion

I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked down the crowded street of Rio. My head swum with half fragmented plans..... If she was happy....I could leave, I would let her be........but what of she isn't? Then maybe....... I cut myself off there and sighed. I couldn't dare hope to be with her again. It was much too painful.....but still....my imagination drifted to how it would be if I went back.....I could run up to her window.....and there she would be in her bed. Her dark hair spread across the pillow.....her body curled into a ball under the covers. The rhythmic sound of her breathing and heartbeat. The way her brown eyes would shine with shock when she saw me.......I felt a smile flicker across my lips, then it died. An eternity of just imagining her was so empty to even picture. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I sighed and looked at the screen. Rosalie. I ducked into an alleyway and flipped open the phone. What trivial, un-important thing could she want now? I was a shell of a man, nothing mattered anymore. Why must she force me to talk at all?
"Hello, Rose."
"Edward. I have something to tell you."
Here we go.
"It's about Bella."
Suddenly the world stopped. I was numb. I couldn't feel the phone in my hand. My lips didn't move as I croaked out the half strangled words.
"What?"
"Well.........Alice had a vision......She.....well she saw Bella jumping off a cliff. She never came out of the water. I'm sorry."
Pain beyond anything I had ever felt shot through me. I fell to my knees, not noticing anything. The air was sucked from my chest. I felt like I was being crushed. I deftly hung up on Rosalie and slumped to the ground. It felt as if flaming daggers were piercing every inch of my skin. In my mind I saw Bella's face when I told her I didn't want her. The belief, the agony in her trusting brown eyes.
It was my fault.
Guilt wrenched through me. It felt like I was being sucked into a black hole. Nothing was here. Nothing. My fingers clawed for my phone. There had to be another way....it wasn't true. Please let it not be true. I dialed the number quickly and put the phone to my ear.
"Swan Residence."
It was not Charlie....if I wasn't so thoroughly distracted I might have recognized it.
"May I speak to Charlie?" I asked, trying to calm my breathing.
"He's not here."
"Where is he?" Say with Bella. Say with Bella. Offer to have Bella come to the phone instead.
"He's at the funeral." The pain and guilt wrenched through me again. It was true..of course it was. I pressed END and sprang to my feet. I couldn't live any longer. I didn't deserve to live. I darted out of the alleyway and tossed my phone in the trash. I didn't need my family to come for me now.

I needed death.
I needed......

I needed the Volturi.