"Courtly love was a medieval European conception of nobly and chivalrously expressing love and admiration. Generally, courtly love was secret and between members of the nobility. It was also generally not practiced between husband and wife." - Wikipedia.

La Vita Nuova

July 17, 1996 -

I was asleep in my room when suddenly, there was a light tapping on my window. At first, I was scared. I thought it was a monster or someone trying to creep in. But then, I realized it was Eddie, the kid from across the street.

I'd known him for a while and we always played together when I came to visit my daddy - but why was he outside in my tree, banging on my window this late at night in his pajamas? I got out of bed and walked to the window, opening it as quietly as I could so that I didn't wake Daddy.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

He looked scared. I wondered if something bad had happened to his family.

"Can I sleep in your room tonight?"

"What?" I asked. I thought I didn't hear him right.

"My parents - they're fighting. It woke me up and I can't go back to asleep because they're so loud. Can I stay here?"

I looked behind me and listened for my Daddy's snore. If I could still hear it, he hadn't woken up when Eddie climbed the tree - which appeared to be the case.

"Okay," I agreed. "I guess you can sleep on the floor." I turned around and walked back to my bed as he hurried in and took a few steps forward, glancing around anxiously.

"Thanks," he finally muttered.

I threw a blanket and a pillow on the floor next to my bed. "Don't mention it."

I got comfortable again and laid down, fluffing the blankets around my legs. He followed suit on the carpet, rolling away from me to face the window.

I thought about asking him why he didn't go to Tanya's or Jake's, but then I remembered the everyone else was away at camp for the next two weeks. I was the only other person home.

"Goodnight," he murmured.

"Goodnight," I said back to him.

And that was the last we ever spoke of it.

It happened a few more times that summer, more times than I really know. It got to a point where I just left the window open for him every night, a blanket and a pillow on the floor. I never brought it up and neither did he. It was our little secret.

August 29, 2004 -

It was a hot day at Forks High School, the hottest first day of school on record. We were all sitting outside under the large oak tree, which had become a habitual hang out spot since ninth grade. As usual, Rosalie was suntanning, Alice was doing her homework, Emmett and Jake were wrestling a couple of feet away, and Jasper was throwing Cheetos at them from his spot next to Alice. Edward was taking pictures of the chaos as Tanya, who sitting between his legs, sifted through a magazine.

As for me? Well, my customary spot was leaning against said oak tree as I enjoyed the revery. I had been trying to get some of Dante's "La Vita Nuova" out of the way before English next period. The assigned reading had been due for homework over the summer, but the eight of us had wasted those days away partying on Alice's parents' yacht. Needless to say, none of us got our summer work done until the week before school started.

Jake and I had been officially together almost as long as the rest of the couples, a little over two years now to be exact. And I must say, the boy was damn near insatiable. It's really a shame that men and women hit their sexual peak at different times. Sometimes, I literally couldn't move after a round with that boy. He was the light of my life, my best friend, the only person to ever truly know me inside and out.

Jake pinned Emmett down for three seconds and was declared the winner by Jasper. He waltzed back over to his spot next to me, throwing his hands up in victory.

"Did you see that, babe? I nailed him," Jake exclaimed, placing a sweet kiss on my cheek as he plopped down next to me with a thud.

"Oh yeah? Did he take it like a champ or squeal like a pig?" I teased, not even bothering to look up from my book.

Jake laughed and leaned back, tossing one of my chips in his mouth.

"Emmett squeals like a pig anytime he loses," Edward announced with a chuckle, flashing his brilliant smile my way as he flashed his camera right in Emmett's face.

I involuntarily blushed and gave him an awkward smile in return.

Jake playfully hit Edward in the shoulder, agreeing with his joke and taunting Emmett further.

"I wonder if he squeals like that when Rose does him in the ass with her dildo," Jake joked.

Which only caused Rose to interject. "Hey!' she shouted. The look on her face suggested she was going to lash out at us all for fucking with Emmett. Instead, her mouth twisted into a devious little smirk as she proclaimed, "My man loves my dick, alright?"

We all burst into hysterics.

"Laugh it up," Emmet joked. "You can say whatever you want, but we all know Edward screeches like a hyena whenever you press -" Emmett leaned in an squeezed the tender part of Edward's arm under his armpit. "- right here."

Edward squirmed away from him and, just like Emmett predicted, screeched like a hyena.

Jake and I laughed harder, if that was possible, and Tanya stood, huffing her way towards Emmett. "Stop playing around, guys. I'm trying to read about Britney Spear's crotch over here," she joked, giving them a playful giggle.

Suddenly, the bell rang which announced that our fun was over. We'd certainly lucked out when we found out we were all on the same lunch schedule. We hated being apart from each other for any length of time, and lunch gave us just enough to catch up before rushing off to class again.

We were the best of friends. Ever since we were just little kids, we've all lived in the same cul-de-sac, with the exception of Alice and Jasper, who were two streets over and a house apart from each other. The seven of them went to school together since they were children, but I had been a part of the group every summer when I visited my dad. It was always like I never left.

Our situation was perfect, like we had formed a new family when our original ones failed to sustain us any longer.

Tanya and Edward had been a "couple" since elementary school, which seemed equally as cute as it was creepy. A kid shouldn't consider themselves "dating" another kid, especially so young, but they'd survived it somehow, even with annoying eight year olds screaming "Edward and Tanya sitting in a tree" at the top of their lungs. It was sweet, the way he was with her - like she was his best friend, the girl who knew everything about him and loved him anyway. He looked at her like she was the last thing he'd ever see, and she saw the same thing when her gaze fell on him. The sheer disgusting cuteness of it all was enough to make you sick to your stomach half the time.

Both sets of their parents were divorced and Tanya's mother had since started a new family. A new baby was much more interesting than two teenager daughters. Tanya was tall, lanky and blond, her tiny frame resembling the boyish-qualities modeling agencies often look for - all skeleton, no ass, no tits. Her tan was infamous in this small town, and the horny old geezers literally counted down the days until she busted out that first pair of daisy dukes.

Edward was a little taller than her, had bronze hair and emerald green eyes. Of course, he was gorgeous as well. The bone structure in his face seemed to channel Michelangelo's "David" if you really looked at him hard enough. Captain of our swim team, he was long and in incredible shape. In our cul-de-sac, Edward lived right across the street from me with Emmett and their father, Carlisle, who had taken to the life of a workaholic bachelor after his divorce. Tanya lived next door to them with her younger sisters, Carmen and baby Irina, and their mother, Maria.

Alice and Jasper made their relationship official freshman year at lacrosse try outs, even though they'd been friends for years. She'd accidentally hit him in the back of the head with a ball at full speed. He went down like a sack of potatoes. (I was actually a witness to this event, which was a lot funnier after the fact.)

When he woke up, she was leaning over him, incorrectly giving him mouth to mouth. He thought she was an angel, she thought he was going to kill her. Instead, he asked her to the movies the following weekend while he was being loaded into the back of the ambulance - to which, Alice's reply was "How hard did I throw that ball?" The rest is history.

Alice's folks were cookie cutter suburban middle class. Mom was a stay at home drunk, Dad was all business except for when he was cheating on his wife - which she knew about, and didn't seem to care. (I secretly thought she was screwing the pool boy, but Alice insisted that it was the gardener.) Jasper's mom had dropped him off at her sister's house before skipping town. She comes around every so often, for Christmas' and such, but never stays for very long and her encounters are typically not very pleasant. His father was in jail for drugs. It was possible that Jasper had never even met him - I'd never worked up the balls to ask.

Emmett and Rose were your typical high school class couple. Emmett was captain of - well - every sport he played. Football, Basketball, Lacrosse - he ran all of that shit. He and Edward were twins, fraternal, that is, and they couldn't have been more different. Where Edward was rather skinny, almost puny sometimes, Emmett looked like a steroid case. They were both incredibly intelligent, but Edward was driven and excelled by actually doing the four hours of homework at night required by Advanced Placement classes. Whereas Emmett was lazy, and knew he just had to keep a c-average to qualify for sport scholarships.

Rose was the head cheerleader, all three seasons and all four years. Others would run, but Emmett and Rose would be named prom King and Queen no matter what. Emmett stood around six foot four with the same green eyes as Edward and dimples that could melt ice. Rose was just as beautiful, standing five eight with silky blond hair and a rack like Jenna Jameson - except Rose's were real (at least as far as I knew.) Tanya's tan was infamous, but not quite as infamous as Rose's ass. She lived at the center of it all, between Jake and Tanya, merely two doors down from mine.

And that leaves my sexy piece of man meat, Jake. Black hair, gorgeous tan skin (all year round), a set of six pack abs that you could literally wash clothes against. Of course, I'd known Jake my entire life. He was part of the group every summer and lived right next door to me. Our fathers were best friends, and apparently we used to play together when we were both in diapers, though I don't remember much of it. But, as far back as I can remember, he was my summer treat - the one person I was most excited to see besides my father. Even when I'd go back to Phoenix, where I lived with my mother, Jake and I would still talk on the phone three or four times a week. Right before I left the last time, he planted a wet one on my lips underneath a willow tree in Forks National Park.

It was one of the sweetest things that had ever happened to me.

I was in love - no ifs, ands or buts about it.

I had to admit that he was a huge part of the reason I decided to move up here. Sure I loved my dad, but Jake was it for me - ya know?

Four years later, here we were, all of us, my summer family turned all year around entourage, happy as pie. They were the peanut butter to my jelly, the mac to my cheese.

We didn't need our parents. We didn't need our teachers or their pretentious rules or boundaries. We were the lost kids and that was just fine with us. (We may be lost to the world, but we'd be lost without each other - not like Keifer Sutherland.)

While we walked together in the hall, we talked about our plans for the weekend and the latest drama between the who's who of Forks High. Alice and Jasper broke off first to go to chemistry and Jake kissed me goodbye before going to biology, a class he shared with both Emmett and Rose. Eventually, it was just Edward and I, seeming to head to the same place.

"Do you have Avallone too this semester?" he asked, tilting his head my direction.

I pulled my schedule out of my back pocket and examined it closely. When I didn't answer in enough time, Edward ripped it out of my hands and started running down the hall like an idiot.

"Hey!" I shouted, running after him. He held it high above his head, teasing me as I caught up and jumped to grab it from him. This may not seem like a daunting task to many, but I stood merely five five, and his six foot one arm span was incredibly unfair.

I grabbed onto his shirt and used his shoulder as leverage as I tried again to snatch it from his hand, which off set our balance and caused us to go crashing into the lockers on the side of the hallway. Edward was pressed against me, toppling me pretty fricking hard into the hard metal. It hurt, but I couldn't stop giggling.

When I finally did stop laughing, I came to realize that Edward's face was merely centimeters from mine. He had this glorious smile that literally brought all of his features to life, something I hadn't realized about him before. And, God, he smelled so good - like Jake but in a different way. All man with a hint of chlorine and peppermint and Axe body spray, a side effect of this morning's swim practice, I gather.

Something stirred inside of me.

I didn't know how to describe it. A jolt ran through me as our skin connected - like an electric buzz or static charge. I felt like I'd stuck a staple into an electrical socket.

What the hell was that?

I didn't know.

But I liked it. A. Lot.

I felt overwhelmed with this desire to reach out and kiss him, a desire that was completely unfounded and out of the blue.

When he caught me gawking at him, practically drooling on the floor, he cleared his throat and realized the position we were in, slowly bringing the schedule to the side of my face with an awkward laugh. "Sorry for taunting you. You have Avallone."

I briskly nodded my head and snatched the paper out of his hands.

"See ya' in class," he whispered, turning to walk into the room.

He left me standing there, shell shocked and horny as hell in the English hallway.

Holy hot-best-friend Batman.

What the fuck just happened?

Shit!

What do I do now?

I took a few deep breaths and looked wildly around me.

Did he feel that too?

He had to have felt that.

It was like that part in every John Hughes movie where Molly Ringwald starts seeing Judd Nelson in soft hues and there's some dramatic slow-mo entrance/exit while Peter Frampton plays in the background. I just had one of those moments - except I wasn't in a janitors closet.

The second bell rang and I realized that I had to push it out of my mind and walk into the classroom. As I entered, I looked at the seating chart on the projector and immediately felt my stomach drop. I was sitting next to Edward - the whole fucking year.

Okay, Bella,
I thought to myself. It was just an accident. Get over it. He's with Tanya, you're with Jake. It was nothing.

I casually walked over and sat down next to him, punching him in the shoulder almost as hard as I could. "You hurt my shoulder, punk."

"I'm sorry. I was just playing around."

"Well, don't crash me into the lockers next time," I chastised with a giggle.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Alright, class," Ms. Avallone announced, marking role down in her notebook. She was a bit of a heavy set teacher with long brown hair and eyes that matched. "I hope you all received your summer assignments and that you have read up until chapter four of our first book. If not, you're behind. Catch up."

She turned off the projector, slid it out of the way and started writing on the chalk board.

"Welcome to Medieval literature," she started. "Can anyone tell me what this means?"

She turned around and pointed to the blackboard which read "Courtly Love."

I raised my hand.

"Yes, Miss -" She glanced at the seating chart. "Miss Swan."

"Courtly love was a theme throughout medieval literature where a guy would write poetry or prose pertaining to a beautiful woman, typically someone of nobility like a queen or a lady," I explained. "But they weren't in a relationship or anything, they were just friends. I guess."

"Excellent," Avallone said, giving me a gentle smile. "Has everyone read La Vita Nuova up until the assigned chapter?"

Most of the class nodded.

"And what did we learn about Dante from these first few chapters?"

"That Beatrice was with someone else when Dante first noticed her, that she was always with someone else, and yet, he loved her throughout it all," Angela, the quiet brunette in the back, answered.

"Exactly," Avallone continued. "In the first chapter, you see Dante and Beatrice's first encounter and how blown away he was by her beauty. Then she goes away and it's another nine years before she returns and he sees her again. This time, he's literally swept off his feet. But she's already married. And yet, he writes all of this, what would have been called, provocative poetry and prose for her; so provocative in fact that he admits to not be able to write all of it down. He secretly dotes upon her. Is this courtly love, in the traditional sense? Or do we think Dante is borderline obsessive-stalker creepy?"

"It's a bit obsessive," Edward responded.

"Why?" Avallone said.

"He's head over heels for her, like they have this whole relationship, but so far - she doesn't seem to even recognize him," he started.

"Hmm," Avallone hummed. "Interesting you say that. Keep this in mind and open your books to Chapter 5. I want you to read Chapter 5 entitled "The Screen Lady," and we'll talk about this afterward."

I turned to Edward and smiled. He agreed to read the first paragraph.

"One day it chanced that this most graceful lady was seated in a place where words were heard concerning the queen of glory, and I was in a position from which I could see my blessedness: and between her and me in a straight line sat a gentle lady of most pleasant appearance, who looked at me frequently, amazed by my gaze, which seemed to end with her,"
he read. I seemed entranced. The way the words were falling off his lips made it feel as though Edward himself had written them; they soaked right through me. I absorbed all of it, all of him.

I had to stop myself. I shouldn't feel this way about him, I shouldn't think like that.

I shook my head and laughed, picking things up at the second paragraph. "Then many were aware of her look, and in a while were certain of it, so that, in leaving the place, I heard it spoken after me: 'See how that lady has distressed his person' and being named, I realised that he was speaking of her who had been placed in the straight line that started at the most graceful Beatrice, and ended at my eyes. Then I was greatly comforted, assured that my secret had not been revealed to others by my gaze that day."

After I was done, I bit my bottom lip and looked up at Edward's mesmerizing eyes, begging for him to continue. He gave me a crooked smile and nodded his head. "And immediately I thought of making of this lady a screen before the truth: and I pretended to it so often in so short a time that my secret was believed known by most of the people who speculated about me. I screened myself with this lady for some months and years: and to better allow others to believe it, I created certain little things for her in verse, which it is not my intention to write down, unless they mainly set out to treat of that most graceful Beatrice: and therefore I will forget them all except one that I wrote which can be seen to be in praise of her."

I was transfixed on Edward, hardly hearing a word he'd spoke. He read, but I imagined those lips pressed against mine, that sweet smell of chlorine circling my head like it did in the hall. I don't know what possessed him to snatch that paper out of my hands, but our bodies connecting like that had done something permanent and irreversible to me.

Right when my thoughts started to drift into x-rated territory, Avallone started talking again and this time, she was explaining a little more of the history behind Dante. "So, in the first few chapters, we learn that he had met Beatrice Portinari at the age of nine and immediately fell in love with her. He continued his obsession with her but didn't see her again until nine years later as they passed each other on the street, all of which was expressed in the story. However, what you may or may not know is that they were both betrothed to others at the time and therefore, could never disclose their true feelings.'

'Spoiler alert -" Avallone continued. "Beatrice dies at the age of twenty three and leaves Dante absolutely devastated. It was true unrequited love in its purest form, this much is true. But, was it courtly love?"

The class was silence.

"Can you, at this point in the story, describe this story as courtly love?"

"No," I finally spoke up.

"Why?" she asked.

"Unrequited love implies that the feelings were not returned. With courtly love, the feelings are mutual, desired in fact, if never acted upon."

"Exactly. What is Beatrice's side of the story? Does she love Dante in return? We can infer that, perhaps, she had no interest in him whatsoever based on the fact that Dante never mentions any affection for him on her part. But you have to remember that an affair like this would most certainly have been kept a secret, especially any indiscretions on the woman's part.'

'But it's hardly likely that a man would continue on with this much passion and desire had there been nothing to entice him so. Keep this in mind as you read the final chapters. One of your assignments this year is to write a part of his story from her side."

The bell announced the end of class and we all stood to gather our things. "Everything up to Chapter 18 is due tomorrow! Don't forget!" Avallone shouted over the noise of scooting chairs and zipping book bags.

As soon as we were out of the class, Edward bumped into me playfully and shot a grin my way. "I'll call you tonight to read those chapters, huh?"

"Uh, sure. Jake shouldn't be over until nine or ten when he gets off work. Call me on my cell around six. We'll knock them out," I suggested.

Edward nodded, flashed his camera in my face and waved goodbye before heading down the art hallway. In addition to being Fork's fastest swimmer, he was also in the photography club. He took the most beautiful pictures; his father's house was literally lined from floor to ceiling with them. Random flashes of light merely inches from your face was something you learned to live with when you accepted Edward into your life.

I found myself staring after him, wishing I had gotten those lips pressed to mine either. I knew I shouldn't have been thinking about that. Jake was my boyfriend. Tanya was his girlfriend. It was wrong - wrong - wrong to look at him that way. Still, I couldn't help this natural attraction I felt towards him, as if gravity itself was pushing our orbits into each other.

I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there before I felt familiar arms wrap around my shoulders. "Whatcha staring at, babe?" Jake whispered.

"Oh, nothing," I replied with a giggle, shaking myself back to life. "Just making sure Edward got to his class alright," I improvised.

"He's a big boy, he can make it by himself," Jake teased, pulling me towards our next class. We both had health next with the same teacher so it was pretty much guaranteed that we'd get no work done. Jake found it terribly hard to keep his hands to himself and the teacher was known for not being able to control his students.

It was everything I'd imagined and more.

6 pm.

Six pm on the dot, Edward was on my phone repeating Dante's words back to me as I read from my book. I was laying on my bed with my desk lamp on. His voice was soothing, somehow seeming to draw me into a trance. He read and, with each word, I fell deeper into my fixation with him. At the end of the first chapter, I asked if he wanted me to take over, to which he declined. He said he liked reading to me for some reason. I didn't argue.

Eventually, it got to a point where I wasn't even following along with my book anymore. I was just listening to him. It took me some where else, to another place and time, where he and I were Dante and Beatrice.

"In her eyes my lady bears Love,
by which she makes noble what she gazes on:
where she passes, all men turn their look on her,
and she makes the heart tremble in him she greets,
So that, all pale, he lowers his eyes,
and sighs, then, over all his failings:
anger and pride fleeing before her."

Edward's voice was like melted chocolate, silky and sweet. I kept the phone pressed to my ear as my fingers traveled over my breasts and down my stomach. I thought about him pushing me against the lockers today. I thought about the look on his face, that smile and those eyes. My fingers drew over my breast several more times as I imagined Edward reading today in class. I tried my damnedest to imagine Jake doing these things to me, but with his voice on the other end of the phone, I couldn't help but see those emerald eyes staring back at me. My hand drifted between my legs and started rubbing my clit, slowly and delicately.

"Help me, ladies, to do her honour
All sweetness, all humble thought
are born in the heart of him who hears her speak,
and he who first saw her is blessed."

Edward continued and I was hooked. I curled my fingers inside of me and massaged my G-Spot, almost unaware of the mild pants and moans escaping my lips. I don't know what came over me. I was supposed to be in love with Jake, I did love Jake. So why was I over here masturbating to Edward reading poetry? Why was I seeing him when I closed my eyes? Why was I so turned on when he pressed me up against the lockers? Why was I getting wetter just thinking about Edward than I ever had having sex with Jake?

"How she looks when she smiles a little,
can not be spoken of or held in mind,
she is so rare a miracle and gentle."

Edward's voice radiated through the phone and I was transcended. To where, I hadn't the slightest clue. His lips formed the last syllables of the sonnet just as I envisioned them wrapped around my clit. I saw that beautiful head of bronze hair between my legs and I came - I came harder and more intensely than I ever had with Jake. My entire body shook with fury. As I lay there in the aftermath of my glorious orgasm, a sudden thought raced across my mind - Oh God, what the hell did I just do?

I just sort of had phone sex with one of my best friends, a friend who was already taken by one of my other friends. The next thought that crossed my mind was - Fuck, did he just hear all of that?

"Bella?" he asked, hiding a small chuckle at the back of his throat.

"Um - yeah?" I choked.

"We're at Chapter 20. I think we should stop or we'll be too far ahead tomorrow," Edward suggested.

"Okay," I whimpered uncomfortably.

There was an awkward, pregnant silence between us that seemed to last forever. It was on the tip of both of our tongues, but I wouldn't be the first to say it.

"Did you just come?" Edward blurted.

Busted.

"Um -" I sputtered.

"It's okay if you did -" he started.

Just then, this amazing sweep of guilt and embarrassment fell over me. I hung up the phone and turned the power off. Jake would just let himself in later.

Oh Fuck!

Jake.

No sooner did I think that then Jake came barrelling through my bedroom window.

"Hey, babe," he whispered, sauntering over to give me a tender kiss on the forehead. He was still in his mechanic's jumpsuit, but at least he wasn't covered head to toe in oil like he usually was. He had showered before coming here, even if he didn't have other clothes to wear. He had unzipped the top half of his suit and wrapped the sleeves around his waist, creating make-shift pants. He wore a black wife-beater, perfectly accenting his amazing biceps and stomach. It was exactly how I liked him, and he knew it. Something about that uniform drove me fucking crazy.

"Hi," I murmured anxiously.

"You alright? You look like you just saw a ghost," Jake teased, sliding into bed next to me.

I nodded and swallowed hard, trying to calm myself down from the experience on the phone with Edward. "You just startled me, that's all," I lied.

Jake smiled and ran his fingers down the side of my cheek. "I got you something."

"Aw, Jake. You shouldn't have," I argued.

"It was nothing," he lied. I knew how much he made and how much of that he gave to Billy to help afford their lifestyle. He was the only one out of us whose parents hadn't actually split. Miss Sarah died in a horrible car accident when Jake was just two. Rebecca and Rachel, his older sisters, were both going through college right now, something that was damn near running Billy broke. He needed Jake's help.

So, when Jake reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small necklace that had a heart shaped pendant on the end of it, I almost couldn't accept it. "Jake, you shouldn't spend your money on me -" I started to complain.

"I'll spend my money on what I want," Jake chastised.

On the back of the silver heart, a bunch of letters were mixed and scrambled together. "Is this Quiluete?"

"Of course," Jake teased. "It says 'I will always love you. You are my' - well - it's like my other half. There's really no direct translation. Like a soul mate but more of completeness kind of thing," he explained.

I had to admit, it was such a tender thing for Jake to do. I was lucky to have him.

"You think it's corny, don't you?" His face immediately dropped.

"No, Jake," I whispered. "It's beautiful. I love it."

Then, he flashed me that brilliant smile and wrapped the necklace around my neck. I brought my lips to his in the sweetest way, falling back on the bed and dragging him on top of me. "I love you, you know that right? You're my world, Bella," he whispered.

"I love you too, Jake. You're my best friend," I replied. As our kissing grew more intense, I found his hands all over my skin, pressing and pulling at my clothes to get closer. His lips caressed the skin around my neck, his palms swept up to my breasts and his pelvis pushed into mine. I tried to feel turned on, tried to get into it, but I was having a the hardest fricking time, all things considered.

I wasn't sure if I'd just cheated on him.

I wasn't entirely sure what the fuck had just happened.

How would I feel if he'd done that with someone else? With Tanya, of all people?

Pissed? Jealous? Envious?

All of the above?

Jake's head coasted down my body and nestled at the spot in between my legs. He pulled my shorts off and fluttered tiny kisses down either side of my thighs. I literally shook with anxiety. I looked down and, suddenly, flashes of bronze hair flew through my head.

"No. Stop," I announced. Jake perked up, startled and confused. He wrapped his hands around my thighs and pressed his forehead to my knee, giving me those adorable puppy dog eyes.

"What's wrong, babe? I knew something was up with you. You always get this absent look when you've done something bad. What happened?" Jake smiled at me, filling me with this warm intensity. Like my own personal sunshine, he gave me that look and I melted like butter.

How could I have done that to him?

How could I have done that with Edward?

God, even his name gave me goosebumps.

I shook my head and climbed off the bed to walk to the open window. "You've got to remember to close this whenever you come in," I chided, sliding it closed quietly. I stared out the window to the dark house across the street. Edward was sitting outside on the porch swing, smoking a cigarette and peering right back at me. He took a long puff, waved my direction and then flicked his cigarette out into the street before standing to walk back into his house.

I closed my blinds and turned back around to Jake.

"You're giving up head because of an open window?" Jake asked with a laugh.

I shrugged and walked back to the bed, climbing in behind him. "The neighbors are our best friends. We should be more considerate."

Jake chuckled and pulled the wife beater over his head. "We can just go to sleep if you want," he suggested. "I'm actually pretty tired." He ruffled a pillow under his head and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest.

Suddenly, I felt the need to prove myself, to believe that I hadn't done anything wrong. I had to prove that I still loved and adored Jake, above all others. It wasn't like I'd physically done anything with Edward - it was a mistake, a stupid loss of logic. I'd simply forgotten he was on the phone, right? We'd accidentally crashed into the lockers. That connection wasn't something intended or actually worthwhile - was it?

Christ, how hard had he smashed me into those things? Did I bump my head or something?

Jake was so amazing to me, for me, with me. I'd be stupid to throw this away.

I swung a leg over him and straddled his waist, pulling my Rolling Stone's teeshirt over my head to reveal absolutely nothing underneath. Jake's hands immediately found my breasts while his cock twitched to life underneath me.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Yeah, my dad's on night shift. He won't be home until five in the morning. I want you to fuck me," I murmured back, pressing my forehead to his.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me twice."

A/N: Thanks for reading and be sure to leave a review to let me know your favorite part. Be sure to check out my profile for a link to the "LVN Blog," where you can find a little more information about what inspired this story, my banners, Edward and Bella's Infinite Playlist and my thoughts on Courtly Love. :-)