Notes: This is an alternate universe fic where Bella only visits Forks until after the shape shifting manifests in most of the Quileute pack. I fudged a bit with the timeline to make things work a little better for what I have in mind. This is slash, guys, so don't say I didn't warn you if this isn't what you want to read. I hope you enjoy!
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apogee (n) – the point in the orbit of a heavenly body at which it is farthest from the earth.
Most of the time, the telepathic communication thing the pack has going can be really handy; for one thing, we'll never have to invest in cell phones to talk to each other. There's always at least one other person in their wolf form, so if a message needs to be spread everyone else knows fairly quickly. Of course, everyone also knows your deepest, most private, most humiliating thoughts, especially if they're in the front of your mind; even if they're not, it's still possible to go snooping.
Leah, will you give it a rest already? I thought, exasperated and past humiliation. I could feel her rummaging around in the back of my mind, pulling forward thoughts that everyone was definitely aware of and that I had tried to repress as well as I could. If Sam hadn't been there, I probably would have phased back to my human shape and walked away. Honestly, there's only so much I can take before I end up punching her in the gut. I wouldn't even feel bad because she's a girl, or anything; I know she can handle it.
Leah's laugh echoed in my head and her canine body shook with glee. I would say I'm sorry, but honestly, Jacob, your dreams are just too hilarious.
Well, I'm glad you think so, but I think we have more important things to discuss now! I turned to face Leah and I felt myself snarl, my upper lip curling over my teeth. She stepped up to the challenge, pawing at the ground and bringing herself to her full height. Leah was still no match for me in size, and she knew it, but what she lacked in bulk she made up for in gusto.
Cut it out, you two, Sam told us tersely. We don't have time for this.
I fell back into position, refusing to look at Leah and concentrating on Sam. Maybe if I thought of nothing but what he was saying, none of the others would think of the dreams Leah had drudged out of my mind. Even as I tried that I knew it was useless; all of the others were thinking of what had just been in my mind, and I could feel how ill at ease they were.
God, when can I ever get a break here?
Sam continued his train of thought. Carlisle Cullen decided to inform me that one of the other bloodsuckers, the one who sees things yet to come, has seen a group of nomadic vampires heading in this direction. He said this prediction is very subjective and might not come to pass at all, but she saw them passing the boundary between Forks and La Push, the night of the new moon. We need to set up a guard for the next few nights to prepare, just in case, and on the actual night of the new moon we need to…
As Sam went on, assigning us all a time and place to guard, I tried to block out the mentions of Cullen and bloodsucker from my mind. No doubt they would bring up bad thoughts, and Leah would just get a kick out of that.
As soon as Sam dismissed us, I ran through the trees in the general direction of my house and phased when I was just out of view of the others. I quickly pulled my clothes on – just a pair of shorts and sandals – and started walking through the woods, thankfully hearing only my own thoughts in my head.
When you get a glimpse into someone else's mind it makes you realize exactly what kind of a person they are, and sometimes what you hear isn't what you thought you would. I never imagined that Leah could be so hateful or so spiteful or that she would take so much pleasure in other's pain – but I could see evidence of that without even delving into her mind much at all. When you have unlimited access to someone's thoughts, and free reign to rifle through their feelings, you can do a lot of damage. Which is exactly why I hated phasing with the whole pack, now – my thoughts did a lot of damage to me.
I mean, it's not my fault if I had dreams about Edward Cullen. It's not as if I asked to dream about him sucking my cock on a periodic basis. That particular dream was, actually, quite satisfying, but I was not glad that everyone else was privy to it. Any other teenager in the midst of a sexual identity crisis was free to keep their thoughts to themselves, and I didn't think it was fair that everyone else in the pack could feel my confusion and see my humiliation firsthand.
Leah, being the spiteful bitch that she is, loved to bring attention to my latest wet dreams whenever she could. I know in her mind she felt a sort of perverse pleasure when she did this, but I could never tell if it was because she enjoyed to make me uncomfortable or if she just liked to watch my dreams in her mind. The line between the two possibilities was too blurred, but I wouldn't be surprised if she felt both. She may have enjoyed my humiliation, but I definitely didn't, and the rest of the pack didn't either.
Through the trees I could see house lights, in the distance; I sprinted faster, now that the house was in sight. As I neared the house I saw the familiar police cruiser parked in front of the garage – Charlie was visiting tonight.
I bounded through the front door, managing to make Charlie jump in surprise at my sudden appearance. I grinned down at him and he managed a weak, "Hello, Jacob," before his attention turned back to the football game on the TV. My dad turned and smiled in greeting; he was much more accustomed to my comings and goings.
"Pizza's on the kitchen counter," he informed me. "We left four slices. I hope that's enough."
"Aww, c'mon, Dad!" I whined, rubbing my belly. "I could easily eat a whole pie right now. Final exams are running me ragged." Well, other things were running me ragged, too. I wasn't lying about the pie, though…
I grabbed the pizza box and bounded back into the living room, plopping myself on the floor and shoving a slice in my mouth. As I chewed I watched the game – it wasn't actually that interesting, but it was better than nothing. There was a break in the game just after I finished eating my first slice, and a beer commercial came on.
I was about to start on my second slice when Dad said, "Hey, Jacob, Charlie was just telling me that his daughter is visiting in a couple weeks for vacation. Do you remember Isabella?"
I munched thoughtfully and tried to remember who my dad was talking about. "I think so. She hasn't been here in years, though, right?"
"That's right," Charlie said gruffly. "I'm happy to have her back, but I honestly have no idea what to do when it comes to her. Teenage girls..." He trailed off thoughtfully and rolled his eyes slightly; I definitely got his meaning.
"Girls are just as much as mystery to me as they are to you, Charlie," I said with a little laugh. Thankfully the game came back on, so I could focus on something mindless instead of how guys made me even more confused. I tried especially not to think of guys, and I tried especially not to think of Edward Cullen.
Needless to say, I think I failed pretty miserably at that point.
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The agreement we had with the bloodsuckers was still new and tentative at that point in time. Of course there was the treaty that was already in place, but working together was still a novelty. We had only really worked together once before, a couple months ago, when a group of three nomadic vampires threatened Forks and La Push. The one with tracking abilities – James, I think his name was – was particularly hard to get rid of, but in the end we did it. We being the operative word here. Quil, Embry and I all reeked of vampire for days afterward because we had spent so much time in their presence.
It was around that time when the dreams started. I would wake every morning with sticky sheets and a wide grin until I remembered exactly who had been starring in my dreams. Then the horror set in, but what was I more afraid of – the fact that I was dreaming about a guy, or the fact that I was dreaming about a vampire?
Of course the pack's reaction to my thoughts was not exactly the most supportive thing they could have done for me. Paul and Jared practically flipped their shit, Quil and Embry sat on the ground, staring in what can only be described as abject horror, and Leah…well, we all know what Leah thinks about my unfortunate crush. At least Sam did his best to ignore the crazy things that went on in my head.
Things would only get more awkward from this point on. A few days after this whole mess started, I had taken to isolating myself in my shed and tinkering with spare parts for hours at a time. I knew Dad knew something was wrong, and I could tell he was worried, but I wasn't about to tell him what was going on. He was debilitated enough, what with the wheelchair and all, and if I told him what was going on in my mind, he'd probably have a heart attack or something.
I had been finishing up work on an old VW Rabbit when I heard two people walk into my shed. I turned and saw Quil and Embry pause awkwardly in the doorway. Wow, this was going to be fun, wasn't it? I ducked my head, turning my attention back to the car, and said to my best friends, "Hey, guys. C'mon in."
"Hey, Jake," Quil said agreeably enough. He ducked under the top of the doorway and sat cross-legged on the floor a few feet away from me, a pile of tools and parts separating us. Embry followed and sat next to Quil.
"We were wondering if we could talk about…well, you know," Embry said uneasily. Of course I didn't need to ask what well, you know really meant.
I sighed and set my tools down, turning to face my friends. "Sure, sure," I said, trying to control my embarrassment. "What do you want to, er, know?"
They shared a look, and I could tell they were arguing nonverbally over who should start interrogating me. Finally Quil turned back to me and said, exasperated, "Just…why?"
"I don't know!" I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. "Don't you think I ask myself that question all the time? I have no idea why!"
"But it's not like you imprinted on him or anything," Quil went on, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Can't you just stop?"
I rolled my eyes and shot him a murderous glance. "Don't tell me you've never had a crush on some girl and you couldn't keep your mind off of her."
Embry sighed and hit Quil on the shoulder. "That's not what we came here to say, doofus," he explained. "Look, Jake, we don't really care that he's a guy or anything, and the fact that he's a bloodsucker does kind of freak us out, but we've got your back, despite how this idiot is acting." He glared at Quil who shrugged sheepishly in turn.
I looked up and smiled weakly at them, trying to convey my gratitude. "Thanks, guys," I'd said. "C'mon, let's go inside and get some sodas, and then we can work on the Rabbit."
From then on things had been a little less awkward, since I knew I wasn't going to be shunned forever, but no easier to deal with. Of course things didn't get easier to deal with – nothing ever gets easier to handle in my life, and I had no idea that things would just get even more difficult.
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TBC.
