Empathy

The days following Tosh and Owen's deaths were the hardest for the three remaining members of Torchwood. It was as if the Rift was mocking them, for it remained silent in a time when they needed to work. The days were as quiet as the nights, with only Janet and the pterodactyl to keep them company.

It was the fifth evening when Gwen finally snapped.

"Enough! I've had enough of this!" she cried to nobody in particular. Jack was somewhere in the Hub and Ianto had gone to see a play, leaving Gwen to scan the systems for signs of Rift activity.

"Come on, its not all that bad," a smooth American voice whispered in her ear. A pair of arms snaked around her shoulders and she could feel steady breathing on the back of her neck.

"How can you say that? Owen and Tosh are dead. We've got nothing to do, I'm bored out of my mind and Rhys keeps asking me when I'm going to 'cheer up a bit' "

Gwen turned her chair around to face the Captain.

"I know but look on the bright side, there's no Rift activity so the everyone's safe for now," Jack stated with a hint of a smile.

"I don't know how you can be so cheery."

"I'm not." There was a finality in his tone.

For a second, there was complete silence in the Hub.

"I'm sorry Jack, I shouldn't have said that," Gwen apologised.

Jack took Gwen's hand, kneeled down and looked deep into her eyes.

"I've seen so many deaths…too many…far too many. I'm not cheery Gwen, not even close, but if I didn't keep going I'd drive myself mad and then I'd be no good to anybody. I've got to keep going and so have you…we've got to keep fighting, for Owen and Tosh if nobody else…OK?"

"OK," Gwen replied like an obedient child.

Jack stood up to leave but seeing the hurt look in Gwen's eyes, he hesitated. Kneeling back down, he cupped her face in his hands. Without a seconds thought, he kissed her. It was a comforting kiss as much as a loving one.

When Jack spoke again, tears were beginning to fill his eyes.

"The day you came to Torchwood was the first time in ages I actually felt hopeful. It was the first time I stopped thinking about saving the world and looked at the people closest to me; the people I really wanted to save. I knew that Torchwood was about to change. That it might be more than just aliens, it might be people and aliens. Look at us now. We think differently, we act differently, we don't just go in all guns blazing and that's down to you, Gwen Copper." He smiled sadly at her. "You can't just give up, not after all this."

He brushed away the tears which rolled down Gwen's cheeks, his touch light and tender. He kissed her again, tasting the salt of her tears.

"I just miss them Jack, so much. Rhys tries to understand but he can't. Nobody can except you and Ianto. Rhys cooks for me, hugs me, kisses me but he just can't…" Gwen couldn't think of the word.

"Empathise," Jack whispered.

"I love him Jack, but not as much as I should do. I love you more. Everything you've taught me, everything you've showed me, everything you've done for me. How can any husband compare to that?"

"Rhys is a good man, Gwen. He loves you; he's loyal and caring. He'd do anything for you if he could."

Unable to look at Gwen, Jack stood up, turned his back on her and walked over towards the fountain. He looked up at the ceiling and paused before he spoke again. Gwen watched helplessly, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Ianto will be back soon, why don't you go home Gwen?"

"I can't Jack. Not after this. Rhys will know, he'll see straight through me."

Jack turned, met Gwen's gaze and closed his eyes in despair. He only opened them when the door of the Hub rolled open with a bang.

Ianto Jones surveyed the scene and knew immediately something was wrong.

"Jack?" he questioned.

"Was the play good Ianto?" Jack said, with tremendous effort to keep his voice calm.

"Never seen anything like it, it was just amazing!"

"Good…good. Do you want a cup of coffee?" Jack asked. Ianto's face was a picture of surprise. He frowned with puzzlement.

"I'll make it, sir…Jack."

Ianto looked from Jack to Gwen and back to Jack.

"Yeah…I'll come and help you" Jack stated.

The pair left to make coffee, leaving Gwen stood by her desk utterly bewildered. She raised her finger to her lips, where Jack's lips had been only moments ago. Her head was spinning and the smell of coffee overpowered her.

Ianto returned holding two steaming mugs and Jack followed, drinking from his own. She took her mug, sipped from it and smiled. "Thanks Ianto."

Ianto glanced wearily across the Hub to where Jack was stood, but the Captain was facing the other way. Though it was hot, Gwen drank her coffee quickly, glad of some caffeine after a stressful day. It was only when she started feeling light-headed that she knew something was wrong. She glared at Ianto, who flushed and turned his head away.

"No…you can't. Jack! Don't…please…Ianto…Jack…" Gwen pleaded.

As she was gradually loosing consciousness and falling into a dreamless sleep, Gwen's legs buckled underneath her. She cried out. Ianto caught her falling body and manoeuvred her carefully into a nearby chair. By the time he'd arranged Gwen comfortably, Jack was by his side.

"Ianto, I'm sorry…" Jack began.

"There's no need to explain sir." Jack heard the disappointment in his tone.

Picking up the pieces of Gwen's smashed mug, Ianto made his excuses and left Jack alone with Gwen.

The Captain turned Gwen's chair to face the desk and gently laid her head on its surface. She would wake up and remember nothing of their conversation. It was the way it had to be, but Jack hated himself for doing it.

"Goodnight Gwen," he whispered before following Ianto.