Author's Note:
I was reading all these fanfics for a different fandom getting tired of reading the same thing over and over again. So I had the idea for this story and I couldn't wait to start it.
XPOV
I told Jack I liked the quiet. My mind kept replaying the events of the night that my life changed. As much as it hurt that my friends wanted to keep me out of something so big, I can see that had they not tried to protect me I would not have been able to keep Jack and his zombie buddies from blowing up the whole school. I mean I dislike school as much as the next person, but I wouldn't blow it up.
My friends would never know what I had done for them and I would never tell them. I may not be some strong badass witch or super strong slayer, but I was just as important as the rest of the scoobies. If anybody ever tried to tell me anything differently then I would know better.
I can always remember that one night that changed my whole perspective. For a while I had believed Cordelia, that I was nothing more than the Zeppo of the group. It went perfectly with something I had been talking to Giles about.
After what happened with Jack though, I was able to look back at the things I had done in the past and see why it would lead me to where I am at this moment in time, from the campouts in my back yard with Willow and Jesse, to cheating on Cordelia Chase. I could see it all so clearly and I did not regret a single moment.
Of course I felt bad that I cheated on Cordelia, but I didn't regret it. We just weren't meant to be. I learned a lot of things about myself in that relationship, but it had obviously run its course. We took from each other everything that we could and it was time to move on. I had just not figured that out in time to end things with Cordy before I finally saw my best friend the way she had seen me since at least freshman year.
However Willow and I were also not meant to be which is proved to me by the fact that she chose Oz over me in the end. As sad as that made me it was my own fault that she had been forced to move on.
All of this was in the past. Now was the time for me to plan for the future and solidify a more helpful spot in the gang so that they didn't feel like all I was, was a liability. I didn't want them to ever think that they had to push me away again.
I had started going to the weight room at the high school working out on his own while also training with Giles. Giles was the only one aware of my plans of self improvement. I had also been paying more attention in classes as well as reading some of the books that Giles had to offer about vampire and demon lore.
Things seemed to be looking up and I liked the new me.
LPOV
I had grown up Sunnydale, California, but had always remained under the radar. I had a small family of my parents a brother and a sister. I was happy not being popular with my best friend. The only thing about sitting quietly in the background was that the man I admired from afar never noticed I existed.
When I first saw him I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was just so funny and incredibly attractive. After that I couldn't turn a corner without seeing him and his two friends there.
I liked Willow from what I could tell as well. I saw how she was hurt whenever he talked about another girl to her. I could relate to her in that area. I was jealous that she got to even be near him. For a while it had just been me sitting in the back of a room or some dark coroner of the Bronze by myself watching him and the rest of the world enjoy life with their friends, until I met my best friend.
Cadence in one of my favorite classes, English and she had quickly become the most important person in my life. From the moment we met we had clicked, almost like we were finding our other halves in each other. Now we did everything together, and shared our every secret. She had been well aware of my crush on Xander Harris. When I found out he was dating Cordelia Chase it had nearly killed me. Cadence just told me I shouldn't give up, and that as long as there was love, there was always hope.
Growing up I had always written down my thoughts and feelings about everything that was going on in my life. When I thought about Xander the words flowed so quickly and it always seemed so beautiful to me in poem form, Cadence encouraged me to turn them into songs. I joined the band and learned how to play the guitar. I also took all the music classes available, not that there were many. When I spoke to the director about my plans to make my poems songs they were more than willing help me put my words to music.
Cadence finally convinced me to get up on stage at the Bronze and sing them. So here I was on amateur night walking into the Bronze with my guitar case and dressed in what Cadence picked out. She let me get away with wearing the shear see through shirt under the corset and leggings under the skirt, so that I would feel more comfortable in front of a good majority of the town.
