Disclaimer: I own nothing
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter Title: Anytime
Author: jazzman31
Rating: M
Warning: This is a femme slash fic. If you do not like this type of fiction, then you shouldn't read it.
Summary: This is a continuation of "Finished," my friends were giving me grief for portraying Buffy so negatively so I thought this would suffice. It's another songfic with Brian McKnight's song "Anytime." In case you didn't notice, I do not like Elizabeth Anne Summers. Read and review please.
I can't remember why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be, yeah
The radio blared at me, and I wanted to move and turn the alarm clock off, but I couldn't will my body to forsake it's newfound home in what used to be our bed, mine and Faith's, but I fucked it all up. Don't look so shocked. Just because I am Elizabeth "Buffy" Anne Summers, doesn't mean that I can't use the "F" word. I don't expect you to feel sorry for me, I mean I did it to myself, and well…
Forever was the promise in our hearts
Now, more and more I wonder where you are
Yeah, that is what we promised isn't it? That we would be together forever, well I had to go and ruin it by sleeping with Spike. I know what you're thinking, why did you sleep with Spike? Well, I honestly don't know. I could lie and say that I thought she was cheating on me, but that isn't true and doesn't excuse the fact that I cheated to get even. That would be wrong, and I wouldn't do that even if she had cheated on me, I wouldn't cheat just to get even. I would kill her, but not cheat to get even. I mean, when Spike came back, it was a shock, but at first he was just a ghost, and then they found a way to make him solid, and I had to see. I needed to see, if what I felt for him was just lust or if I loved him, and well…it was only supposed to be that one time, but it wasn't never could be with him. I mean have you slept with Spike, well then you don't understand, but of course why would I sleep with Spike when I could sleep with a sex-goddess every night. Maybe I was scared did you ever think of that?
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
I wonder if she thinks of me a billions times a day, the way that I think about her. I ended it with Spike the night she left, and I haven't spoken to him since. I had Willow track Faith down so that I could at least attempt to apologize, and well, you know how that went, but I didn't stop trying. I kept it up until a week ago. I followed her for almost a year, but last week when she didn't even turn around while her bodyguards man-handled me, I finally got a clue. It hurts, to know that I am the reason that we aren't together anymore. I wonder if she wakes up, and reaches for me the way that I do every morning, only to be met with the coldness of her empty side of the bed.
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
I miss her so fucking much, all I have been able to do is slay and cry. Cry and slay, the same thing over and over again. Willow tells me that I need to get over her, because she isn't coming back, Dawn won't speak to me, and Xander, well he tries to be supportive, but he feels that same as Dawn. We won't even get started on Kennedy, Faith is her best friend, so I know that she hates me.
Still have your picture in a frame
I look at the beside table as I hear Brian McKnight sing this line. I see her dimples, and that damn cleft in her bottom lip. I used to spend hours tracing my tongue over that cleft, okay maybe not hours, but you know what I mean.
Hear your footsteps down the hall
Every now and then it seems like I hear the floorboards creak under the weight of her feet, as she trudges down the hall to our bedroom. I half-expect her to walk through the door with her bag in her hand, and a smirk on her lips.
"So, B did you miss me?" is what she will say, and I will just nod and beckon her to me. We will make love for three days straight, and I will be happy.
I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane
How I wish that you would call
To say
Sometimes I will be sitting in the den, and I can hear her voice in the kitchen singing along to some song while she cooks dinner. That is why I haven't eaten, because she did all the cooking, and it takes too much energy to order out. It takes too much energy to care about anything except how much I miss Faith.
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
Faith, tell me please, do you ever think of me? Do you miss me the way that I miss you? Don't you want us to be a family?
I miss you
I miss you
"Dammit Faith don't you know that I miss you," I scream to the empty room, before I burst into tears.
(No more) loneliness and heartache
(No more) crying myself to sleep
(Don't want no more) wondering about tomorrow
Won't you come back to me
Come back to me, oh
"Please come back to me, Faith. Please," I whisper between sobs, and I feel a hands on my back.
"Shh," a voice says, and I almost mistake it for Faith's, but she isn't coming back.
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
"I miss her so much," I whisper to whoever is rubbing my back, as I can't be bothered to see who it is for my face being buried in Faith's pillow. Her scent lingers a bit, even though Willow washed the sheets. I'm not alarmed, because everyone in my immediate family has a key to my place.
"I know," the voice says, and I lift my head to see who it is.
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
So tell me what you think. Should Faith be the one comforting Buffy, or should it be someone else? You decide.
