HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BIGGEST JOKE EVER: DANIEL!

I'm not sure why, but I actually feel kind of bad about writing this one-shot. Every once in awhile I get a pang of guilt about writing these Daniel stories because it's not the character's fault he sucks – it's CATHA'S – but I'll get over it. XD I really do want to write some stories where Daniel's not so…Daniel, ya know?


It wasn't the most uncomfortable position Daniel had ever been in, but it was awkward.

It was Thursday, so the tall manchild/whatever-he-was had managed to clamber off of the couch of his garage-bedroom and literally drag his body across the street. One of his ex-girlfriends, Emma Alonso, lived on the other side of the road, and he felt like a regular stalking routine would help him cope.

Daniel desperately scratched his behind, injuring his elbow in the cramped space he was confined in. Feeling his forehead start to perspire, his eyes frantically wandered around the Alonso household in search of an escape. It didn't occur to him that he was in the only possible exit at the moment.

He caught sight of a small box of tissues by the soap and thought that maybe, just maybe, if he could reach it, it would pull him through.

Wiggling his arm up his side until he had painful burns and a bruised elbow, he finally got it inside the house. One more limb to being free. Spreading his fingers apart, he tried to grasp for the tissues but they were about five feet away and therefore unattainable for the thing. Making an unflattering noise that could only pass off as inhumane, Daniel pushed his hand back through the window and fished around in his pocket for his phone.

Not even thinking about the consequences this would have, he angrily bashed his nose onto the touchscreen, typing in the ten-digit number he needed. It was probably saved somewhere in his contacts, but this was much faster. (It was not.)

After what seemed like an eternity, he heard the phone ringing. Once, twice, thrice...it went to voicemail on the fourth ring, as he suspected it would after years of being ignored.

"You've reached the Alonso household, home to Francisco and Emma. We are unable to reach the phone at the moment, so leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible."

There was a beep, and then Daniel started talking. "Hi, this is Daniel Miller. I'm currently climbing in your bathroom window, so if you could come and help me out that'd be greatly apprecia-NO!" His sweaty hand let his phone slip right out of his grasp, and plopped into the toilet. It was then that Daniel let himself start crying.

It suddenly hit him that it had been quite some time since he had first stuck his head in the living room window, and he was brought back to when it was taken out.

~ .~

It was New Year's Eve. Daniel was excited for what the new year had in store for him, as he now had a witch girlfriend, along with his old witch girlfriend off his back. Things were just starting to change, and while mostly they were good, Emma's father hating him was not.

This brought him to right now, as he crossed the street and headed up the Alonsos' walkway. He would show he could be a sentimental boy and care what his someday future father-in-law thought of him.

He walked straight past the front door and around the corner, reaching the living room window. Bobbing his head twice to build up his courage, he swiftly opened the window from the outside and slowly poked his head in. Francisco was the only one on the couch. He appeared to be watching the NYC Countdown.

Smiling to himself, Daniel said quietly as to not surprise him, "Happy New Year, Francisco."

Francisco whipped his head around and, summoning his skills from Little League years ago, hurled the half-full popcorn bowl at the lanky boy in the window without a second thought. It stuck to his forehead, forcefully shoving him out into the bushes.

Daniel was genuinely shocked to see the living room window being taken out and filled in early the next morning.

~ . ~

Daniel heard some feet padding around somewhere in the house, and then an automated voice saying, "You have one new message." He tried to wipe away his tears from this traumatic experience as the message began to play. Not even halfway through the message, the bathroom door was nearly yanked off its hinges.

Francisco looked about ready to rip the boy to pieces and burst into tears at the same time. Unfortunately, Daniel was the only one who had the luxury of crying twenty-four-seven without question. "MR. MILLER!" he hollered, tossing the house phone back into the hallway.

"Francisco," he started, ready to ask him for help.

"That's MISTER ALONSO to YOU!" Stepping back into the hallway, he disappeared for a second.

"MR. ALONSO, PLEASE! I'M STUUUUUUUCKKKK!" Daniel whined, extremely itchy at this point.

Francisco reappeared a moment later with his daughter in tow, whose hands flew up to her mouth the second she saw the disgusting sight that was Daniel.

"Daniel, what are you doing?" she asked, eyebrows pointed and face full of concern.

Daniel smiled, crinkles forming around his eyes where the tears were gathering. "I was trying to get in when-"

"Yeah, Miami Police Department?" Francisco interrupted. Both of the teenagers turned to the man to discover he had picked the landline back up and was now connected to the police.

Daniel's eyes widened. "Wait! No!"

Emma opened her mouth and closed it again.

"Emma, you have to help me out!" It was unclear to whether he meant out of this situation or literally out of the window.

Emma frowned, worry etched into her features. "I'm sorry, but I truly believe getting arrested will help you start evaluating your actions." With that, she cast a final glance back at the dank and left the room, probably to make out with Jax wherever he might've been.

Daniel let the tears flow freely, unsure how to feel. Everything had gone so wrong and all he had tried to do was stalk his ex-girlfriend because it was Thursday.

Francisco hung up the phone and hiked up his pants with a triumphant expression. "The cops will be here momentarily."

Daniel shook his head. "Please! I beg you! Let me go!"

Francisco suddenly took on a serious tone and stated, "I've been trying to let you go since I became principal. Nothing's working." He cautiously walked closer to the boy and peered into the toilet. "That's what I thought," he muttered, closing the lid. He caught Daniel's eye and nodded. "I figured you'd never willingly hang up." And promptly, he flushed, the sound of electrical sparks being heard from beyond the lid.

Daniel's cries echoed throughout the house as Francisco left. They echoed as the cops showed up. They echoed while they recklessly pulled him out of the window. And they echoed as he got the sudden realization yet another window – if not all of them – in the Alonso household would be filled.


I feel like it's necessary to point out that, like, SUCH a long time ago I saw an Instagram post by a Demma fan saying, "On Thursdays we wear Team Daniel," and like…I'm gonna go cry. XD

Review!