If he were to tell the story, Ste would have said it started one bright Wednesday morning about a week before Christmas. Except, at the time, he hadn't really been thinking it was anything special. He'd been having breakfast with Peri when Sam had got back from her night shift and begun to moan.

She'd managed to get back into the force, but at least temporarily had been demoted to desk sergeant, stuck listening to minor crimes reported by people with too much time on their hands, taking notes and saying "We'll look into it," and "Thank you for your time, Mrs Williams, I'll see if anyone reports finding it." She was tired, as she often was, and bored, and was grumbling away about something or other.

"And he just stood there demanding to know where everyone was. He was so rude!"

"Yeah," said Ste as he munched at his cereal.

Sam didn't care whether she was being listened to. "He was probably something to do with the Kanes, but I told him I couldn't give out personal information. As if Martha wants him banging on her door, she's got enough to deal with as it is."

"Yeah," said Ste, again, though really he was too busy trying to hide his laughter at Peri's impression of her mother's grumbling face.

"And it was bloody good I didn't, he bloody threw everything off my desk and screamed. He was some nutter! I had to threaten to have him locked up to make him leave! Some people!"

"Yeah," said Ste, but he was focusing on Peri. They'd smuggled her new top into her school bag, but there was always a chance, with Sam being who she was, that it the bag would be searched. "Well, I better get going, me," said Ste. "I want to open today. I've barely opened the place in months. People are gonna think we're closed forever. Er, you want me to walk you in, Peri?"

He gave her a look that meant 'Agree so we can go now.' She caught on.

"Yeah!" she said, "I'm ready!"

She wasn't. She had to run around finding things for another good ten minutes. So Ste was stood about trying not to think, exactly what he'd been trying to avoid, and would be trying to avoid all day.

He walked Peri to the school, where she managed to bully him in to agreeing to go and watch her Christmas show, by making them both stupidly late with silly arguments until he agreed. By the time he got to the deli it was gone ten.

Sandy Roscoe ambushed him at the door. "Ste, are you alright?" she demanded, without explanation.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he said, thoughts more on the lock he was tackling than her words.

"There was some bloke here earlier bashing on the door. I thought he must be crazy."

"Oh," said Ste.

"Must have really wanted that coffee, eh?"

"Yeah," said Ste, but it had sparked a weird feeling. Who might be bashing on his door? He hoped he hadn't got on the wrong side of Trevor again. He couldn't think of anything he might have done recently that could spark such fury. "Well, ta, Sandy."

"No problem," she said, "well I best get going, people to see."

"All right," Ste replied as she wondered off and finally got the deli open.

He ran around for a good few minutes getting things ready, turning things on, trying to get the deli up and ready for lunch time. The flow of customers was small, maybe even a trickle, but there were customers, so his mind was being used which meant he couldn't dwell on the day. Much.

He should go on the pull again tonight. Anything to stop himself being overwhelmed by the messy tide of misery ready to consume him.

Tegan came in at about one. She had the baby with her.

"Hey, Ste, can I hide in here? There's some sort of fight out there and I don't want Rose getting sight of it."

Ste managed to stay his curiosity. Fights at the club and someone bashing on his door did suggest a Trevor related incident that he could do without. "She's only a baby, if you held her staring at a fight, she couldn't figure out what it was."

"OK!" said Tegan, with annoyance, "so it was me that got scared, alright? I was hoping to see Fraser about... something and then there's all this commotion and that doorman is having a fight with some great big hair bloke."

"What about?" asked Ste, curiously.

"Oh, I don't know," Tegan said, "I didn't stick around long enough to find out, did I?"

"And what did you want to see Fraser about?" Ste asked, with even more curiosity.

"I just wanted a job. I've got to pay for nappies somehow," she replied, easily, "haven't I Rose?" she said, picking up the baby who was beginning to wake up groggily.

"Well, you could help me out if you want," said Ste.

Tegan's eyes flew up, "Er," she said.

"Yeah, you can start today if you want. I promised Peri I'd go see her show."

"Oh God," said Tegan, "Enjoy that!"

"What?" said Ste.

"A school Christmas show?" said Tegan. "It sounds awful! It was bad enough having to be in them when I was a kid! You wouldn't get me back there for love nor money!"

"Aw, but it's Peri!" Ste replied, knowing it was a whine.

"Yes, and I've seen Peri in some show or something every other month since she was born! Our Dad's a drama teacher, remember?"

"OK," said Ste, "but I never got that stuff, did I? Never had a little sister to make a fuss over."

The words should have been innocuous. They felt like poison to say. Would he have taken responsibility for something Peri had done? Would he have gone to prison for her or Tegan or Leela?

Tegan snorted, "I promise you, it's nothing to get over excited about. We spent most of our time arguing."

"Yeah, well I'd have taken it over my family, any day." Ste replied darkly. "Anyway, do you want the job or not?"

"Er, who'll look after Rose?" said Tegan.

"I dunno," said Ste, "who was gonna look after her when you wanted to work at the club?"

"Er, you?" said Tegan with a smirk.

"Er, no!" said Ste.

"Right, I'll ask Mum," said Tegan, with an eye roll. "I wonder if it's safe enough to venture out now."

"Well you won't know 'til you try," said Ste. "Now get lost, you're frightening mi customers away."

"Say 'Bye bye grumpy Uncle Ste,'" said Tegan to the baby, who naturally did nothing but screw up her face and clench and unclench her hands a bit more. Ste waved to her anyway, and watched them go with a small smile.

If he hadn't found the Lomax's he would have thrown himself of a bridge by now.

Food, customers, food, customers. He filled his brain, he filled his life. Tegan didn't come back, and Ste suspected she didn't want a job, or at least not at the deli. He closed early so he could get to the school.

The show was actually quite fun; despite the wide eyed look (quite similar to the ones Amy used to give him when he said something that embarrassed her) that Sam threw at him when he cheered Peri really loudly. Peri went bright pink. By the end of the show she was hiding her face. Ste still thought she was great, and rushed up to tell her so. He offered to buy the family some fish and chips to celebrate. She smiled weakly, and Ste assumed he was being really embarrassing. He kind of enjoyed that.

As he made his cheerful way to the chippy, one of the Roscoe boys stopped him.

"Hey, Ste," he said, "your mate Doug..."

Ste couldn't be bothered to correct the relationship status at the time of Doug's death.

"Did he have any relatives or something?"

What an idiot Ste thought. Aloud he said, "Yes, he did have relatives or something."

"No I mean... there was a bloke trying to get into the pub earlier, but what with Nancy and all that, it was closed so he wondered into the garage, and started asking about Doug."

"Oh," said Ste.

"Yeah, I knew who was talking about because he said about him working in the deli and living at the flats and mousy hair and all that. So I had to tell him. You know, about Doug being ... er..."

"Dead," Ste supplied, coldly.

"Yeah, I mean, did you tell all his relatives?"

Ste bristled. "Not that it's any of your business, but I told his Mum and I assumed she would tell anyone else. I had a few other things on my mind then you know."

"Sorry, mate..."

"And who do you think you are, telling people stuff like that about someone you didn't even know?!" Ste snapped, angrily. He was bloody protective of Doug. It was the least the young man deserved after the constant unrequited love he gave to ungrateful bastard Ste.

"Next time, mind your own business, yeah?" Ste snapped, and stormed off. He was very rude to the woman in the fish and chip shop, and stormed back to the Lomax's again, dumping the food on the table before announcing "I ain't hungry," and going to bed.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Leela watched her half-brother storm upstairs like a reject from the Jeremy Kyle show and rolled her eyes. It was so bloody like him, acting like the world was against him and he had nothing to look forward to. He had a whole family to spend time with and he was hiding away in his room.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed some chips. "I'm off," she announced to her family as they tucked in, "got a shift."

They called good bye as she went (except Ste, obviously, he was sulking like a two year old now) and made her way to work.

She was expecting a night in, getting bored and sleepy. Drunken accidents were rare on a Wednesday night, at least ones major enough to need Fire and Rescue. In fact they got a call quite soon after she got in. Some bloke seemed to be on the roof of a church, with a huge amount of alcohol.

They all shot off, ready to get the ladder out. Maybe send up a copper to talk him down. They arrived to find no police. She rolled her eyes internally. That wouldn't have happened if her Mum was still in charge.

They got the ladder out. And somehow it was Leela going up it. She didn't really mind. She did the job because she cared about it.

A man was indeed sat on the roof, drinking what seemed to be whiskey, and staring out into the Christmas lights around him. She coughed politely so he wouldn't jump when she arrived. He turned his head and looked her up and down before turning back to his staring. In the shadows of the night he looked alarming.

Leela took his action as an invite to keep talking.

"Sir?" she said, "Sir, my names Leela and I'm from Fire and Rescue."

He grunted but didn't reply.

"Can I ask your name, Sir?" she tried.

"Nope," he said, and took a swig from his bottle.

She didn't make anything of that. If she was interrupting a suicide attempt, she shouldn't expect to be welcomed with open arms.

"What are you doing up here, Sir?" she asked instead, creeping a little closer. There was no way she would be able to force him away from the ledge, but maybe the thought of accidentally taking a young girl with him might stop him jumping.

"Watching the stars, love," he replied, and Leela tried to place his accent, "I haven't seen them in a while."

"Well, you can see them just as well from the floor, you know," she said.

He snorted. "This your first time talking someone down from a roof?"

"Er, yeah," she said, assuming honesty was best.

"Hmm," he replied, "how do you think you're doing so far?"

"Er, I don't know," she replied, "are you going any closer to the edge?"

He smirked. "Direct, and to the point. I like that, Leela."

He took another swig as she said "Thanks."

"Is that short for something?" he asked.

"No, my parents are just Doctor Who fans," she replied. "Why did you really come here?"

He took a deep breath and another drink. Maybe none of them were swigs, because that time it was definitely more of a sip, like he was savouring the taste. "Why did you come here, Leela?"

"Well, I got a call that there was a man on the roof and as I rescue people for a living, I thought I should check it out."

He looked at her appreciatively, "Good for you," he said, quietly. Then he looked back out at his view.

"So, isn't it your turn now?" she prompted.

"Hmm," he said, "I'm here trying to decide if I want to carry on without him."

That sparked too many questions. Who was him? Why without him? What had he decided? She didn't know which to ask, so hoped he would elaborate.

"You ever felt like that, Leela?" he asked, "ever loved someone so much that you'd do anything for them, even if you weren't with them? That if anything happened to them your life would end?"

"No," she replied, honestly.

"No," he repeated. "Not many people get that. They think they want to fall in love. Think it's all romance and flowers and fucking holding hands on a pier. It ain't. It's fucking horrible"

"Tell me about him," said Leela. She had no idea if that was the right thing to say. She was hoping a copper would show up soon who could tell her the right things to say.

The man laughed. "I'd've taken a bullet for him. How can you describe someone like that?"

"You could start with his name," she suggested.

The man smiled, but Leela could see tears spring to his eyes and he choked out "Steven."

She nodded. "And what was he like as a person?"

"A fucking pain in my arse," said the man. "He turned me into the worst thing I could be."

"He doesn't sound worth dying for, then," she said.

"And the best thing in the world. He believed I could be good, even when he knew the worst. I hurt him more than I can forgive myself for, and still he forgave me."

"And what do you think he would say if he knew you were here?" Leela asked.

The man smiled, "He'd probably whine for a bit and then go off in a strop like a child."

Leela smiled and sat down next to the man. "Give us a bit," she said, pointing at the bottle. He looked at her, then at the bottle, then handed it over. She took a small sip, not enough to affect her judgement but enough to suggest companionship. She kind of felt the companionship anyway. He seemed like a nice guy. She smiled at him and put the bottle on the roof between them.

He sighed, "Sorry to bring you into this love, I should have just got it over with."

"No," she said.

"It's just, I've got this sister, and things could be about to go really bad for her. I can't leave her to deal with it alone."

"Then you need to get down safely for her, don't you?" Leela said, quietly. "She needs you."

"Hmm," said the man, "got any brothers or sisters?"

"Er, yeah," said Leela, "two sisters. And a brother. Sort of"

"Why a sort of brother?" said the man.

"Well, he's sort of… new," she explained.

"Baby?" he asked.

"No, my Dad's secret bastard. He's called Steven, actually. Everyone calls him Ste. He's a proper chavvy bastard." She looked over the country around them. It was beautiful.

It took her a while to notice that the man had gone silent. She looked at him and realised he was staring at her.

"What?" she said.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "That idiot in the garage told me Steven was dead. His flat's in pieces, his business was empty."

She realised what he was getting at. "Ste's living with us. His flats were blown up."

"So…"

"No, but his husband was called Doug, he's never mentioned anyone else…"

"Douglas?" said the man, with spite and fury unrivalled, "He went back to fucking Douglas?!"

"Er, shall we just check we're talking about the same person here, before we get all upset?" she suggested. "My brother's name is Steven Hay."

The man's face lost all its emotion. He breathed heavily for a few moments. "Steven's alive?" he said at length.

Leela nodded. "So you do mean him? Ste Hay?"

"Where is he?" asked the man.

"He's sulking like a child in my Mum and Dad's place," said Leela. "But… I don't … does he want to see you?"

She didn't know why she said it. But why wouldn't Ste mention some bloke like this unless he wanted to forget about him.

The man threw himself upwards, scrambling up the roof to the ladder, then scrambling down. "Where is he?" he shouted up at Leela as she followed at a more careful pace.

"I can't tell you that!" she cried. "I don't know who you are!"

"Call him!" ordered the man. "Call him now!"

"Why don't you?" she said, angrily.

"Because I haven't got a fucking phone!" he shouted, "call Steven!"

She got to the bottom of the ladder and the man looked wild. Her colleagues welcomed her down with smiles, and tried to offer the man a blanket. He threw it off and repeated "Call Steven!"

"Fine," she said, "and when he says you're some nutter you're not going back up there, right? Look the police are arriving."

And they were, finally. It would hopefully be enough to stop the man going back up to the roof. So she pulled out her phone. She called Ste first, but he rejected the call. She groaned, "He was having a big sulk about something, he's not picking up," she said.

"Then call someone who's there, get someone to talk to him! You said he was at your parents, call one of them!"

Leela looked around herself. This was probably an awful way to deal with this situation, and lots of people were now just watching them curiously. She found her home number and dialled it anyway. Her Dad picked up.

"Dad, it's Leela, is Ste there?" she said.

"He's gone to bed, sweetheart, bit like me."

"Get him up!" snapped the man, and Leela rolled her eyes.

"I've a got a man here who's convinced he knows Ste."

"Of course I fucking know Steven!" snapped the man with fury like a tempest.

"Could you ask him, maybe Dad?"

She heard her Dad sigh, "Alright, but you can explain the backlash," he said, and she heard him making his way up to Ste's bedroom. He knocked on the door and said "Ste?"

"What?" she heard Ste reply in the distance.

"Ste, will you answer the phone? Leela's got some nutter with her or something."

"What? Is like two a.m. Danny!"

"Tell him it's Brendan!" the man shouted.

Leela's Dad sighed, and said "He says his name's Brendan."

There was a silence on the line. Then the sound of feet pounding on the carpet. "What?" she heard Ste ask, "did you say Brendan?"

"Steven!" shouted Brendan.

"Bren?" Ste gasped, and then Brendan stole the phone from her grasp, and Leela could only hear Brendan's half.

"Steven, where are you? I'm coming to get you… Yes of course it's me… I've… look, we can't… Jesus, just shut up, Steven! Tell me where you are! … I'm not arguing with you Steven I just… What? Right."

He threw the phone back at her, and ran to a car.

"Oi!" she cried, "You can't drive you've been drinking!"

He stopped and stared at her. "He's got a family?" he asked, quietly.

"Yeah, sort of," she replied.

He looked like he had sudden doubts, but he didn't stop for long. He unlocked the car.

"Look, you can't just swan off!" she shouted, "there's incident reports and stuff…"

"Later!" he cried, jumping into his car. "Steven's alive!"

He drove off, swerving out of the church grounds like a mad man. He looked back at her colleagues. "Er, I know where he's going," she said.