Silent Tears

One-Shot

Summary: Bakura wants to confess to Ryou. But why aren't things going exactly as he planned? And what's happening to Ryou? To top it all off, he made one mistake before that would never deserve forgiveness. Rape.

By: Klyukaizer

…O…o…O…o…O…

He felt tired and weary that night as he stared at the ceiling emotionlessly, feeling his tears soak his face mixed with his blood and sweat. He had never felt this tired before… tired and dirty. Everything was a mess and he knew nothing can fix it now. Not even death.

So… there!

He just… gave up! Just like that. He just stopped struggling… stopped thinking about the disadvantages and just gave in. But still, it didn't change. The pain was the same, the humiliation was the same, and the sadness was the same… even his love for his Yami was the same… everything was… except for himself.

Feeling a sudden drift of coldness spread across the room, Ryou shivered amidst the beads of sweat on his face. He was lying naked on the bed; scratches, scars, bruises and large wounds were visible in the boy's beautiful white body. He was tainted, dirty and was in pain… and he knew the fact that no one was there to help him. No one would even bother.

His face had burnt scars and he had blood at the corner of his mouth, slowly seeping down to his neck where countless bite marks were visible. His arms were twisted and both of his wrists were swollen pretty badly. And on his torso was a huge gash but was not bruised that deeply.

Still, it hurt.

They all do.

"I… h… hate… y- you…"

…O…o…O…o…O…

"B-Bakura… I-I'm home… are you in here?" Ryou asked carefully as he laid his backpack on the couch in the living room. Heading out to the kitchen, he peeked to the corner only to be hit across the face by a strong fist.

"Where the heck have you been, you worthless piece of shit!" Bakura yelled, as Ryou winced at the pain on his face. Looking over to the kitchen, Ryou noticed that Bakura was trying to cook something. "You are late, Hikari! You are 10 minutes late! How am I supposed to get something to eat when I don't even know how to cook?"

"I… I'll cook you something right away…" Ryou silently said as he scurried over to the stoves, only to be stopped by Bakura. "I'm not done with you yet. This is the 4th time this week and I'm pretty sure why you're always late!" Bakura mocked. Ryou suddenly tensed as he felt fear spread through him…

"The Pharaoh. And the runt." Bakura snapped as Ryou's eyes widened. "It was them… I knew it." The next thing Ryou knew, Bakura picked up a small mug and poured all the steaming hot coffee unto Ryou's face. Ryou instantly screamed in pain the moment the hot liquid made contact to his face.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO HANG-OUT WITH THEM!" Bakura yelled, pulling Ryou by the collar and slamming him to a nearby wall. "What? Are you actually trying to befriend them so in time they will be able to save you from me!" Bakura yelled, "Guess what, "Ryou"? No one can save you from me because I am you and you are me!"

Ryou's eyes widened instantly as Bakura dragged him upstairs. "You are going to be punished, Ryou. You are going to be punished dearly."

Ryou didn't like the sound to that.

…O…o…O…o…O…

"NOOOO! Bakura! Stop it!" Ryou yelled and screamed as Bakura took out 2 pairs of handcuffs from his drawers and slammed Ryou to the bed. Pinning Ryou from the legs, he used all of his strength to bind down the hikari below him. "Be quiet!" Bakura snapped silently but firmly, continuing with his "work".

"B-Bakura, please! Stop it!" Ryou was starting to sob now as Bakura finally clicked the handcuffs, locking them. Ryou struggled to move as hard as he could but he knew it was useless, he was trapped. "I'm going to show you what it means to obey orders, Ryou… this is a little tradition we had back in the ancient times. You interested?" Bakura smirked, making Ryou tremble in fear.

"Get ready, Ryou…" Bakura said, advancing to his Hikari and removing his shirt in the process. "B-Bakura, onegai! Yamette!" Ryou screamed, feeling his shirt being ripped off in half and his pants being taken off with one swift movement. "Shut up! If you don't want me to cut off your tongue, then you shut up!" Bakura threatened, leaning on closer to Ryou's face. Feeling Ryou silence in fear, Bakura smiled triumphantly. "Let's begin now, shall we?" Bakura snickered.

…O…o…O…o…O…

He felt like giving up… like he was tired of struggling. Feeling silent tears fall down from his eyes, he stared widely as ever at the ceiling, seeing the shadows of the trees from the outside illuminated by the light of the moon.

'What did I do to deserve this?' Ryou thought. 'I had always done everything what people want me to do… isn't that enough? Am I not able to make mistakes?' The thought of this made his sobbing faster as he started to hyperventilate. 'Of all people… why does it have to be Bakura?' Ryou looked at his Yami who was currently licking and nibbling him at the side of Ryou's neck. 'No matter how much I wanted 'this'… it still feels wrong… it's so wrong!'

Blood was starting to form at the corner of his lips as Bakura pressed in his lips on Ryou fully and harshly, making the kiss full of lust. "Are you enjoying yourself?" Bakura smirked, taking a small knife from his pocket and slowly marking Ryou as his own on the torso. "No…" Ryou answered silently and truthfully with a soft-spoken tone. "C-Can you please… s-stop?" Ryou asked softly, "Please, Bakura. Please stop." Ryou whispered.

Bakura was taken back at first, but soon snapped out of it and grabbed Ryou by the jaw, making the albino look up to his master. "Listen here, Ryou! I'm still in control and you can't tell me what to do!" Bakura snapped, receiving no response from the uke. Seeing the certain distant look on Ryou's eyes, Bakura felt tensing suddenly.

Miraculously, as Bakura glared at his hikari all the way, he took out the key for the handcuffs and unlocked them both, making Ryou's arms heavily drop to the bed as Bakura continued glaring at his host. "Deal with your own life from now on. I'm not going to be there to protect your weak ass!" Bakura snapped, kissing Ryou fully on the lips again. And as they parted, Ryou felt a glint of sadness as well as infinite happiness in his heart as Bakura left the room, striding furiously.

Ryou curled into a ball as he hugged himself sadly, looking to his front of nothingness. "Since when have you ever protected me?" He whispered, "Huh, Bakura!" He yelled to no one as he tightened his grip around himself. "Not once, Bakura… not once… have you ever… protected me…" He softly said, feeling tears run down from his face. "You have no right… no right at all." Ryou cried, closing his eyes and surrendering himself to sleep with his naked and broken body.

…O…o…O…o…O…

Why did he follow the boy's request? Was their something different in Ryou that time that made him feel guilt and anxiousness all the while? He was confused. Very confused.

Seeing his hikari limp down the stairs, (and nearly falling too) Bakura faced away, unable to see the look on Ryou's face. That morning, he had woken up early so he could especially see Ryou's reactions from last night's "incident". Why? Well, you will know soon.

But it seemed that it didn't affect the boy, for Ryou still bore the small smile he had at the corner of his lips as he left the Bakura household with a, "I'll be late today…" He had informed. "Hn." Bakura snapped, crossing his arms. Wait. Did he just say 'he'll be late'? Bakura abruptly stopped and thought about what his hikari had just said. Ryou had never greeted Bakura this way… he had never told the dark what he would be planning.

'Something's up. And I intend to find out.'

Ryou was tense. Very tense, in fact. He felt like someone was watching his every move and wanted to run away fast. But from the circumstances last night, he can't. He had limped all the way from his house until the next block when he had felt it. Turning around for a few times, Ryou would only see the normal sight of the busy streets of Domino.

He had to lose this feeling.

Before he could think of something, he ran as fast as he could to his secret hideout.

"Damn it, I lost him!" Bakura half-shouted through the crowd as he placed both of his hands beneath his pockets. "Okay, do your thing!" Bakura smirked, taking out the Millennium Ring and following them to where they pointed to Ryou. "Ryou… you are so in trouble!" He muttered threateningly.

…O…o…O…o…O…

Kicking the door open, Bakura stumbled upon an abandoned warehouse where everything was filled with boxes, dirty cloth, broken equipment as well as sacks of cement lying around. Raising an eyebrow, he pocketed the Millennium Ring once again and searched for his partner without the help of the ancient item. Finally, he had found the albino lying on his shoulders on top of a wooden crate and a blanket was carelessly wrapped around him. Noticing that his hikari had no clue of him there, he continued watching his hikari in silence.

"Ch." Bakura instantly jumped when he heard Ryou curse under his breath. Ryou had taken out his backpack and quickly took out a water bottle, drinking from it as if he was the thirstiest man in the world. "Why did it have to hurt so much?" He heard his light complain as Ryou threw the empty bottle to the side angrily.

Taking out his backpack for the second time, Ryou opened the small pouch in the front only to take out a razor as he eyed it emotionlessly. "This is it. The time has come." Ryou said slowly, placing the razor closely to his wrists. Bakura's eyes widened suddenly as he jumped to his light and slapped the sharp object away.

"B-Bakura!"

…O…o…O…o…O…

Ryou slammed into the bed as he felt everything momentarily spin around him as he tried to register everything. But before he could, Bakura had jumped on top of him. "What do you think you were trying to do, huh! Are you actually trying to get rid of me, you stupid useless fool!" Bakura yelled, pinning Ryou by the hands and raising them above their heads. "You are very much aware of what'll happen to me if something happens to you!"

"So what're you saying? That I can't decide for myself since another spirit is now also living in my own body!" Ryou yelled back, seeing the rage on Bakura's eyes. "Don't be selfish, Ryou!" Bakura snapped. "You're selfish, Bakura! You've never thought about me, so why I should I do the same for you!"

"Shut up!" Bakura slapped Ryou across the face as Ryou felt his head flipping to the direction of the hit. Ryou's cheek was burning now and there was blood at the corner of his lips. "Do you want me to punish you? Do you want to feel the pleasure again!" Bakura threatened as he felt Ryou's eyes widened. Bakura smirked, "I see… so that's what you wanted all along. You're actually challenging me, aren't you?"

"NO! Let go of me, you idiot!" Ryou panicked as he heavily closed his eyes and tried pushing Bakura away. "SHUT UP!" Bakura yelled as he closed in his face at Ryou's eye level. "I'll really do it if you don't shut up!" Ryou suddenly went silent as he looked up to his dark on top of him. Somehow, he felt something strange going on with his partner. "Now… I want you to answer some questions!" Bakura said, "Answer them truthfully, or else I'll do something one-by-one! And trust me, you won't like it!" Ryou continued looking palely. "First question – Why?" Bakura snapped. Ryou hesitated. "Why did you do try to kill yourself?" Ryou didn't answer as he felt Bakura's hand reach out to certain spots where it made him uncomfortable.

"I wanted to."

"Don't give me that!" Bakura grabbed Ryou by the jaw as Ryou whined and cried at the contact. "Stop whining like a big baby, you idiot! Answer me!" Bakura screamed. That was the last straw. "Get away from me! I'm tired, okay! I'm tired of you! I'm tired of everything! Why don't you all just disappear!" Ryou screamed at the top of his lungs, pushing Bakura with all of his might, Ryou was able to break free from his yami.

…O…o…O…o…O…

Ryou covered his mouth to where he tried to cover the sounds of the chokes of his sobs. But to have no avail, the sounds would still keep on coming and his tears won't just stop falling. He gritted his teeth where he hoped he might be able to stop it that way… but he was starting to hyperventilate and things weren't going to get as easy as they aren't. He felt a sudden tug on his shoulders and instantly pulled away, brushing the cold touch aside. "Why can't you just leave me alone!" Ryou shouted, his voice hoarse and his body weakening.

"Calm down and listen to me!" Bakura snapped, making his hikari face at him with force. "You're hurting me! I don't want to listen to your lies! I don't want to talk to you!" Ryou struggled but ended up being pinned on the wall. "You're not going to understand if you don't listen to what I have to say!" Bakura snapped but Ryou continued thrashing about. Once again, Ryou was able to break free. "Ryou!"

Everything suddenly went silent and both Ryou and Bakura were sprawled on their backs over the floor with exhaustion side by side. The hikari was still hyperventilating apart from the sobs and cries that were currently present while the yami was holding his hikari's hand forcefully. "Ryou… you don't understand how I feel. You don't understand how I felt when you tried to kill yourself. What if I never really followed you? You could've died." Bakura softly said.

"It- it… doesn't… matter to y-you. Wh-why are you… acting… s-strange as if… y-you care?" Ryou closed his eyes heavily, making his tears fall from his eyes. "Because I do. I'm totally obsessed over you, Ryou… I lust for you." Bakura answered firmly, making Ryou calm down a bit. "And that's why you beat me, rape me, and torture me all the time? Because you're obsessed!" Ryou snapped, his voice trembling all the way.

"Yes." Bakura answered simply. "Leave me alone, Bakura. I've heard enough." Ryou cried, hurt and sadness present all over his face. As soon as he sat up, Bakura sat up as well and turned over quick enough to be able to be on top of Ryou. Without saying anything, the silver-haired yami pressed his lips on Ryou's and felt their tongues intertwining. Bakura didn't feel anything weird… but what's different about this from before is that Ryou was actually responding to him.

Their lips broke off and Ryou looked up to his yami, "Just this once… I want to feel loved. I want someone to comfort me after going through all of this." Ryou blinked his tears away, slowly pushing his yami away, Ryou walked weakly and slowly out of Bakura's bedroom. Leaving Bakura on the ground to ponder and think of what he had done to his hikari that night.

"I'm an idiot." Bakura sighed heavily, throwing his palms on his face.

…O…o…O…o…O…

Ryou wrapped himself around with his arms as he closed the door to his bedroom softly and sliding down to the floor, his back leaning against the door. As soon as he thudded to the ground, he allowed his head to rise up to the air and allowed his tears to fall down to his neck. Closing his eyes slowly, he felt his lips trembling as he hugged himself tighter and tighter at every single beat of his heart.

"I was never the hikari you wanted me to be, wasn't I?" Ryou laughed to himself as he rubbed his temples, sniffing, as the tears got full. He quickly wiped his tears out of his face and shook his head of the dizziness he suddenly felt. He closed his eyes and concentrated hard on something happy, but only Bakura's face would come into mind.

It felt like he was in that state for a whole lifetime when a sudden knock came from his door and made him jump, making him raise his head from burying. "Ryou…" It was Bakura, obviously. Ryou stood up wobbly and took a deep breath. 'I'm going to do it. I don't care what'll happen… for better or for worst. I'm going to say it to him.' As soon as Ryou opened the door, he came face-to-face with Bakura. Bakura looked at Ryou worriedly as if they had been apart for too long. "Look Ryou, I-"

"I understand." Ryou simply said, lowering his head. "You don't have to explain. I completely understand." Ryou said softly as Bakura looked at Ryou with eyes of regret and guilt. "We need to talk. W-we certainly have things we need to discuss." And as Bakura entered Ryou's bedroom, he closed the door behind him and started right away. "I don't know how to explain it to you, Ryou. The fact that you tried committing suicide was a shock to me." Bakura softly said, looking at Ryou's dull form.

"It's hard for you to understand and I'm all already anticipating of what you're going to say." Bakura lowered his head. "I told you, Bakura. I understand." Ryou repeated, walking over to the bed and sitting at the far end corner of the mattress. "No! You don't!" Bakura exclaimed, walking over to Ryou and sitting beside the albino. "I love you…" Bakura whispered, reaching his hands to Ryou's cheeks and pulling the light's face towards his direction. "No. I don't think you do." Ryou smirked, forcing his direction out of Bakura's way. "Well, maybe you do.But I don't believe you." Ryou said honestly, leaving eyes as huge as saucers from Bakura's expression.

"R-R-Ryou…"

"I love you, though." Ryou added, wiping the tears out of his face quickly as he started laughing amidst the tears on his face. "I've wasted so much tears that I wasn't able to count them." He chuckled, burying his eyes in the midst of his hair. "They say when you've cried your 1000th tear for someone special, it is called love. I lost count when it reached to 843. Because I think it was useless." Ryou sighed, "I cried a hundred tear drops a day… maybe even more and it wasn't because of love." Ryou dropped his head as a new tear sprung from his eye.

But before it could fall, Bakura quickly pulled Ryou's face into his and licked the tear away, making Ryou's eyes widened. Bakura looked at Ryou afterwards and rubbed his thumbs on Ryou's cheek. "I don't care about what they say, as long as your tears fall, you feel the same way I do." Bakura said courageously, "I know you believe me. I know you believe that fact that I love y-"

"No! I don't believe you!" Ryou shouted, shaking his head in disbelief. "How could this happen so fast? How could you love me this quickly? You're only trying to use me and you'll probably rape me again and then I wouldn't mind and-"

"Ryou." Bakura hushed the tense light as his hands around Ryou's face tightened a little, he pecked a small kiss on Ryou's lips when he pulled his light closer. "I loved you… ever since I started beating you up. You didn't show signs of liking me back. I got mad. I demanded for your love. And now that I'm aware that you really do love me… my heart was filled with guilt and sadness. I'm sorry." Bakura pulled Ryou again and before he could kiss Ryou, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Bakura…" Ryou latched his arms around Bakura's neck and hungrily kissed his yami. Unbeknownst to Bakura, Ryou had shed his 1000th tear.

End.