Hey Everyone. This is my first Naruto fanfiction- hope you like it!
Thanks to Wrath of Naillil, my cuz *hugs*
I sadly don't own anything or anyone in this story, except perhaps for a few traumatized woodland creatures
Chapter One
In Which Teams Seven, Eight, Ten and Gai Find Themselves in a Confusing Situation and Place, and the Subsequent Beating of Naruto
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"Hey Sakura?"
"Mmph?"
"Where the hell are we?"
And so begin all epic cross-universe stories, and if the characters are not saying this, well, you know that they are thinking it.
"Naruto, you're so annoying! Isn't it obvious! We're…. wait a second, where the hell are we??"
"That's what I just asked you…"
"I know that's what you just asked me!!" Thud, flying Naruto
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"Emmet, did you hear something?"
"Yeah, sounded like a seriously ticked of, monstrously strong pink haired girl punching a hyperactive blonde kid in the face and sending him flying several yards."
"… How…?"
"We're vampires, Bella."
"How does hair color play into sounds?"
"Just roll with it…"
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Sasuke stared wide-eyed at Naruto, who was hurtling through the air at alarming speeds. He tried not to chuckle at the figure getting smaller and smaller. "NO! Must stay brooding…. You've got a reputation to hold up Sasuke- how do expect to be sexy and distant if you laugh!" he quickly chastised himself.
Sakura was, coincidently, just then wondering what Sasuke's laugh sounded. Just for the hell of it, she decided to make it her mission to hear it.
Lee, funnily enough, was wondering what Sakura looked like naked. He blushed and looked around with shifty eyes, thanking the fact that no one could read his mind.
Neji was scowling as usual, trying to block out the flow of mental images from all around him, once again regretting his ability to read minds. He paused to shoot Lee a disgusted, but slightly amused, glance. Lee was too busy being inconspicuous to notice.
Ten-ten was giving a nearby tree a sulky glare, reminiscing on the time that she had been so close to winning the school spelling bee, had she not been made to spell the word tree, which, incidentally she could not spell.
Choji was staring at the same tree, wondering what tree would taste like.
Ino was staring at Sasuke. Enough said.
Shikamaru was, well, thinking to many things to be summarized here, though a main theme was (interestingly enough) a mental score card that he had been keeping since their days at the academy, judging which surly beast was sexier, Neji or Sasuke.
Shino was staring at a bug.
Kiba was sniffing intently at the air, wondering why he smelled cats.
Akamaru was wondering the same.
Hinata was concerned about Naruto.
Finally Naruto, who had been too busy shrieking in terror to think much else, landed with a thud and the crunch on what, was thankfully, a branch. An alarmed rabbit skidded from the bushes. Naruto groaned and got up, now wondering if this flight had beaten his last one of 12 yards.
Neji said, "13.25 yards" as casually as he could manage.
Sakura punched the air (which, surprisingly, groaned) and screamed "HELL YEAH". Now the rest of the unfortunate group groaned at the sudden onslaught of déjà vu that this statement had always triggered. Lee, however, was thinking- 'That's my Sakura' and had added quite impressive biceps to his mental image of her. Neji groaned at this, fighting the sudden urge to punch Lee.
Hinata fidgeted.
Shikamaru sighed and stared balefully at the clouds.
Sasuke almost joined him, before deciding that staring at clouds was not moody enough. Instead, he opted for sighing and than staring moodily at the ground.
Choji's stomach growled. "Where are we??" he whined, "I want food!"
"Is that all you can think about?" asked Naruto, who had limped back to the others in time to hear this statement, "Jeez, your such a fat…."
To his chagrin, Naruto found himself flying through the air again. Interestingly, he landed in the new refuge of the same unfortunate rabbit whose resting spot had earlier been disturbed. Needless to say, this rabbit was never the same again, and had since developed a crippling fear of anything orange and flying (of which, admittedly, there is no great abundance).
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The two vampires (Emmet and Edward) and single human (Bella) returned from their guard duties to their home.
"Are you sure this crystal thing is as important as Carlisle makes it out to be? I mean, I don't mind spending hours guarding something powerful that's in danger of falling in to the wrong hands, but this thing really doesn't look that great," said Emmet, who would have been weary if not for his flawless super powers.
Edward harrumphed, and then went back to imagining Bella naked and Jacob Black in a dog kennel.
More to come
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