The price for sanity
Rating: T
Pairing: hinted at Trowa/Quatre
Word Count: 500
Warning: Angst, mention of character death?
Summary: None of that mattered now. Trowa was dead.
Author's Note: This is my dear auntie's winds_of_water's drabble in response to my angst-drabble prompt post^^ The prompt was: Trowa/Quatre, The aftermath of Quatre shooting at Tro
The price for sanity
Coming out of the shock, he couldn't help himself but stare at the point where only a few minutes before had been the mobile suit of the one person he considered the most important to him.
How… how could he have let this happen? This… couldn't be. This was all just a bad dream, a nightmare, right? It couldn't be true that Trowa was gone – and that he was the one responsible for his death.
Faintly, he remembered the feeling that had possessed him for these past few days. A dark, dangerous place within his own mind, controlling his every thought. It had always been there, but everything that had happened lately had pushed it in the front of his mind, making him crazed with thoughts of revenge. Mixing up his desire for a better world with his darker thoughts; his bloodlust for revenge.
He had always been nice and friendly, polite to everyone he met ever since he realized that in a world so corrupted by those in power, even a little bit of change could make a difference.
But now… this. Trowa… Trowa was…
People had warned him for years that it wasn't good to just keep everything in. However, he always thought that he could deal with it, that he was stronger than that. Had he known back then that one day it would come to this… he would rather have stayed out of the war than actually doing this. Even if it would mean to go against his own belief, if it would mean that Trowa were still alive then he would have done it.
He wanted to go out and look for the corpse, make sure that he wasn't letting the other die a slow death. But there were other things he needed to take care of. One of his friends already had died for him. And while no-one could ever compare to Trowa, he had to look after Heero. Trowa had died protecting him and the colony. He would want for Quatre to do the right thing now.
But still… it hurt. Why had Trowa done this? Why had he gotten in his way?
Of course, Quatre knew why. Trowa had – correctly – assumed that he would be the only one able to talk the blond out of whatever he had planned to do. Only… it had been too late. Sanity had still been too far away for him to get a grasp on it in time to change his course of action. Maybe if he had only a few more minutes it would have been enough… but then again, he couldn't be sure if, without Trowa's sacrifice, he really would have come to his senses again. He wanted to say yes, but… would he have, really?
However, none of that mattered now. Trowa was dead. And while Quatre wished for it to be a nightmare, it was reality. Trowa wouldn't come back. He had paid the ultimate price.
A sacrifice for his lover's sanity.
END
I hope you all liked^^
