All For You

(A Chihayafuru : Taichi and Chihaya Fan Fiction)

One-Shot Fan Fiction by : Animedaisuki

Dear Chihaya,

How are you? Listen, I have some things that I never got to tell you and I wish for you to read this letter until the end. Since we were in elementary, we were very close, to the point that we became best friends. Since then, you were the only female idiot that never fails to tick me off, yet, still managed to put a smile to my face.

Let me start from the beginning. Remember when Arata's glasses got lost? Yeah, that. I was the reason behind that. Chihaya, I was jealous of Arata. I felt like I was being left behind, especially when you and Arata started to become close. I was sad, angry, happy, jealous...I was so confused that time that the only thing I could think about was winning over him in the Karuta competition in school so that I could impress you and gain your attention. Yeah, I earned all my achievements because I worked hard and hoped to impress you. I always wanted to make a good impression in front of you.

Well, by the end of that day, I returned Arata's glasses to him when you left to look for it in the school's backyard. I was a coward; I accept that openly, because I really am. I bet Arata never told you where he found his glasses, huh? It's because I told him not to tell you. I'm sorry, Chihaya. I just don't want you to hate me. I never did. I also disliked the thought of you thinking that I'm lame. I'm sorry for being a coward, Chihaya. I'm sorry.

Uh, you still remember the girl who calls me 'Ta-kun'? She was my girlfriend. Was. Let me clear it out: WAS. Anyway, it was true when I told you that she was the one who asked me out. It's also true when I told you that I don't like her the same way, but I really had no choice. I'm a jerk, I know. But, when she asked me out, I thought about you...and I realized that at one point, I need to let you go because you will never notice me in that manner, so I agreed to the girl and we dated. I dated her because I believed that it could help me forget my feelings for you and possibly move on. But my mind, my heart and my soul still belongs to you, I dated her but the feeling was blank, lonely, like there was no relationship at all. I realized that I could only be happy if it was you instead. I finally contemplated when I reunited with you again, that my heart will always be yours, take it or not, it will always look towards you and only you. That's why I broke up with that girl after a while, if you remember one time in the club room and everyone else reacted like it was a big thing. No. It was nothing, because it has always been you from the start.

We decided to sleep over at my house for Karuta practice, do you recall? That was the time when we were still training Kanade and Tsutomo about the basics of Karuta. Well, my mom came back unexpectedly which was the reason why you ended up taking Kanade to sleep over at your place. I apologize about that. I know my mom is kind of a no-girl in the house type but in the middle of the night, Kanade pulled you out of your house and brought you to meet with us. It was a surprise birthday party meant for you, and it was also an apology party (In my POV) because of how I acted towards you when you attempted to go to my room, yet I didn't permit you. Yeah, I planned that for you, I believe I missed a lot of your birthdays, especially during middle school. I wanted to make it up to you.

Moving on, while you were about to give me the last bit of crust in the cake, Arata messaged me, telling me to greet you a happy birthday for him, remember? I even let you read the message, and you appreciated it so much. I felt really glad, seeing a smile on your beautiful face, but I felt like I needed to do more effort for you because I wasn't the reason why you smiled that way. I got jealous, and I hate myself because I'm turning into a complete shallow-minded coward. I dislike the fact that jealousy kept acting on me like that. I was disappointed, really.

I was always the coward, the jealous one, the inferior one, the one being left behind, but all of that doesn't matter because I Love You. And I'd do just about anything just to be the reason of your smile. Your beautiful smile I longed to be dedicated to me.

Loving you from the shadows,

Taichi