Chiches and Mary Sues

A Hillarious Parody of Cliches and Mary Sues.

Harry Potter awoke with a start, his scar had been burning again. He looked at the clock it was midnight and it was his sixteenth birthday. Harry was depressed because he had no loving family to share his sweet sixteen with and the only person in the world who cared about him was dead as of the end of last term.

"I'm depressed because I have no loving family to share my sweet sixteen with and the only person in the world who cared about me was dead as of the end of last term. Angst Angst AAANGST." Harry decided right then and there that this was an agnst fic and he trotted of to go cut himself. But the author won't go into detail about it because it's boring and she would rather show you what happened to Hermione and Ron over the summer.

It was now 8:00 in the morning and Hermione woke with an owl sitting on her bead. She opened the letter it had tied to its leg. It was sealed with the Hogwarts Crest. Hermione quickly scanned the letter.

"YES! I'm Head Girl!" she screamed with delight.

"We're so proud of you sweethart, pumpkin, muffin, or some other sweet name that makes us feel like we are an American family in the 50's" said her mother and father.

Hermione smiled back at her parents then decided to get ready for the day. She had a whole knew wadrobe this summer because she was no longer skinny, flat and bushy haired. As a matter of fact she had some meat on her bones, and do the delight of Harry and Ron had grown an immense amout in the chest area. Today, being the first day back at Hogwarts, Hermione decided she wanted to be a hooker. She put on a tight black micro-mini skirt, hooker boots, a tight middrift bearing shirt, fishnets, and of course a whip. Hermione was the hooker today because there is always a hooker in one of these stories and tomorrow it might be Ginny or some Mary Sure but today it was 'Mione (which is never what any one called her so who knows why people do in these fan fics).

'Mione arrived at Platform 9 3/4 and waitied for some familliar faces. Just then a dizty blonde who guys drooled over bounced over. She had such a spectacular style that its imperitive to point out every time she is in the scene. Her name was Mary Sue.

"Hermione!" she squealed and ran to give her best friend a hug. "You've gotten boobs over the summer I'm so proud!"