Disclaimer: Fujisaki Miyako, Nakamura Shungiku, Kadokawa Shoten

Unbetaed, there would be lot of grammar errors.

Thanks Shiranai Atsune for telling me that I need repost :3


He asked himself, why had everything gone this way? He thought it would go forever, but it didn't even last for ten years to reciprocated the ten years of longing and heartbreak before. Three years and a wedding invitation came to his apartment.

"I can't do anything! It's my family..." the younger man in front of him desperately said.

"Do you even love me?" he asked, his mind was blank.

"... I..."

He lost his composure in his partner hesitancy. Thinking was impossible, the cry of 'no' and 'stop' didn't even enter his ears. Ravishing him until no energy was left, he could hear him asked for forgiveness.

"I will never forgive you..." You did nothing for us, the bitter fact was held in his throat as tears streamed down the brunette's face.

"I know...I'm sorry..."

After that, they'd never met again. Memories of the three years they were together swarmed over him. They were a happy couple with up and down, but everything was alright. What had gone wrong? He even prepared himself to talked with Onodera's parents despite anything that would be happened. He thought that both of them could face anything together, that their love was strong, that nostalgia of ten years of longing would strengthen their resolution.

"What the hell..." he whispered.

He leaned his head to the familiar sofa in his best friend's apartment. The invitation was laying flat on the table and a beer can rested in his hand. The room was pitched dark, the owner of the room was nowhere to be seen. He came without notice, it looked like days had been gone since the owner last visit to the room.

His phone went off, Yokozawa Takafumi's name floated on the screen. May be the sales person had already learned about the invitation. Hesitantly he answered the call.

"Masamune, where are you?" he heard the other line said.

"..."

"Are you alright?"

"..."

"Masamune..."

"How could..."he started heavily. "How could he do this to me... I thought we were happy..."

"Where are you?"

"I thought we were really in love..." there's no tears and pain was gone, only emptiness remain.

"Answer me, where are you?"

"I wanna see-"You. But he held it in the right time. "-Sorata."

A sigh was heard from the other side, "I'll go to your place with Sorata...okay..."

"I'm at yours..."

"...okay... wait for me...I'll come right away..." the connection was cut.

He didn't understand why did he go to this place unconsciously. What did he hope for... He couldn't force the man to warm him again. He wouldn't see the devoted gaze in those eyes ever again. But he truly wanted to see him...Before he knew it, he suddenly felt at ease and weariness win against his eyes. He dropped down in sleep.

Years passed by. It needed a little time to let the person who hurt him go. But another tingling pain remained as he realized that he had never treasured a devoted love, once. He frequently thought, if he appreciated it would it be his whose head was being caresses with love. Would he be the one who received that gentle smile and those lovely gaze. Would it be his name that being said with breathy voices drown in pleasure. How many years of happiness had he lost because of youth sentiment. How stupid he was to trade a life time happiness with a short three years. He could only bitterly laugh at himself.

When a truck collided with his car and consciousness started to drive away, he thought what if time could be turned back. What if he was given another chance, what would he choose. A nostalgia of first love or a devoted one.

Fin. (for now)