Chapter 1: The Beginning (yeah, we know it's cheesy, but live with it!)
Disclaimer: The authorS (yes it IS dual fan-fic.. by brother and sister nonetheless) do NOT own any of the following Anime or Anime characters mentioned in this chapter:
YU-GI-OH
Squall From Final Fantasy VIII
(Yeah, that's it in this chapter, but more to come BWAHAHAHAHA!!! [after all, it's only The Beginning])
Authors' Note: This fan fic starts out as a journal [exasperated sighs heard and 5 million people stop reading here], but as you will find out IF you continue reading, it transforms itself... Enough said! No spoilers here. We recommend that you DO NOT quit reading this or your hands will be tainted with blood of all those Anime chara-OOPS!! La d-da da da....
Authress: -.- DOUG!! You almost gave it away!!
Author: HEY!! I was able to stop in time!! They won't know anything!
Authress: u.u Hmph. Yeah, but wait until NEXT time, you nut-head!
Author: I'm new to this, OK! Geez!! Critics
Authress: -.- Critic my ass.
Author: I didn't know it was a critic.
Authress: Stop being a smart ass, jackass
Author: That's a little contradicting, isn't it? I mean, wouldn't it be hard to be a smart ass AND a jackass AT THE SAME TIME?!?
Authress: Hmm... [pauses and thinks a moment] I guess you're right... But STILL!! [anime vein rises on temple] You're still both!!
Author: O.o Heh. Interesting. And how do suppose that is possible? Let's think hypothetically [multiple blood-curdling screams are heard and 5 million more people just ran for their lives] for a moment, OK? If a guy is a jackass, then essentially he is a stubborn, mule-like person --
Authress: OOH!! Like Hiei?!
Author: -.- Yes. Like Hiei. u.u Now... May I continue WITHOUT interruption
Authress: ^^ Sure
Author: Thank you. [sighs] As I was saying... he would be a stubborn, mule-like person, [pauses abruptly and looks at Authress, who is pondering something] being so called because mules (or is it donkeys, hmm... Oh well) are also known as jackasses. While contrarily, a smart ass is a person who annoys people by saying stupid-sounding things full-knowingly. -.- You get my point?
Authress: -.- Yes. [yawns] But I'm bored... and let's get to the good stuff. And by the way, you just scared off a few million people... again!
Author: Hey!! The first time wasn't my fault! What did you expect me to do, let them figure it out for themselves?! That would have just scared more of them off!! [Snores are heard and ANOTHER 5 million just fell asleep] [pause] GOD DAMMIT!!
Authress: [Anime vein on temple] WAKE UP, DUMBASSES!! WE'RE TRYING TO TELL A STORY HERE!! Well, we would be, if it weren't for MY BROTHER! [2.5 million people wake up with a start, the others are still fast asleep]
Author: Well, SORRY for trying to set the mood.
Authress: SET THE MOOD MY ASS!!
Author: YOU SEE! That's what started this whole thing!! YOUR ASS
Authress: -.- FUCK YOU!! Leave my cheeks out of this!!
Author: O.o Ookaay. One, no thanks. Two, I have been trying to, you just KEEP BRINGING 'EM UP!!
Authress: [snorts] Oh, shit, I think that's a start of a laugh!! [snorts some more then bursts out laughing] AH SHIT!! I CAN'T STOP!!
Author: SEE!! EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!
Authress: [stops laughing and glares at Author] -.- .... HA... HA...
Author: [Looks at document] You know what? I just realized that our "Authors' Note" is almost two pages long now.
Authress: [blinks] Really? [looks at document also] O.O HOLY SHIT!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!
Author: [stifled laughter]
Authress: What?
Author: [laughing hysterically] YOU... DID IT... AGAIN!!
Authress: Whaaat? [question marks pop up over head]
Author: [still laughing] N-nothing... let's... just get to the story
Chapter 1: The Beginning (in case you forgot by now)
Second Authors' Note:
Author: Oh! By the way, as stated before, this starts out as a journal entry (taken verbatim) of the AuthRESS. You will notice, however, that there are "corrections" in braces (these: {} ). These were added by ME, the AuthOR.
Authress: And the "corrections" of the "corrections" (by ME) will be in double braces (like so: {{}} )
June 7, 2003
Hello new journal. ^^ Not quite sure what exactly drove me to write in this thing, but I figured "Hey! What the hell? It might help my writing style! My life's humorous enough..."
Well, it is! If it were possible you might like to jump into my shoes and give it a whirl. Hell, who knows? Maybe I'll publish this in later years...
Though, it might rub off into the dirt like my other recent attempts. Who knows?
It's time to tell ya a bit about me - or rather how I view myself. I think of myself as a ' "slightly" arrogant, over-confident, goody-goody,' as I wrote to my 9th grade (and current) English teacher while answering a question to an assignment, an interesting self-evaluation. My brother, Douglas, views me as extremely arrogant. How'd he get that idea? ^^ Surely he wouldn't think a sweet and innocent angel [scoffs can be heard in the background] like me can be so self-centered? Nah... Of course not! [a large eraser appears and erases the "nah" and "not"] {--correction by the Great Brother she has [scoffs heard from Authress] } {{more like the not-so-great brother I have. Who's the {other} true arrogant folk of the family.}}
-.- Just ignore that trivial {perpetual} sibling squabble there. See what happens when you share things to you older brothers? Sheesh! So inconsiderate {genteel} (and yes, we are VERY proud of our arrogance as well as our insanity {DAMN RIGHT!!}. As one great man quoted, "There is a very thin line between genius and insanity." Gotta love those kinda folk, ya know?!
Anyway, being a great female Otaku.. I love Anime! [anime vein] Though I hate the American editors! Like FUNimation - Some of the other American editing companies aren't so bad though. Hey, I'll even list a few of my favorites:
InuYasha
Gundam Wing
Trigun (rated the best by many)
DB, DBZ, DBGT {though it is through FUNimation}
Fushigi Yugi {--[cough] Tasuki}
Yu Yu Hakusho {another great gone decent}
{[cough] Jin}
Ranma 1/2 (manga, though there really isn't that much of a difference)
Escaflowne {--[cough] Van}
Miracle Girls (manga)
Rurouni Kenshin (they say the manga's better, but I can't find it)
And more favorites from where that came from
Also, the two RPGs I've played (and absolutely love):
Final Fantasy 7 & 8
They're wonderful!! ^^ Beautiful works of art! Makes me wanna play 9 and 10! And they say Chrono Cross is really good, too. My brother (yes, the "other true arrogant folk of the family") has AMVs with scenes from the games and from the looks of it, it just makes me wanna play them even more. Hmm... Since when did this get such a serious tone? {I dunno}
Oh yeah. That's right! I was talking about anime! ^^ See? I really am an obsessed mad woman {^^ definitely}. I'm 15 and already outta my rocker. My bro says the old man who was supposed to make it died before he even picked up the hammer, though {I don't remember that! True, though}. Hmmm... perhaps that's true... [thinks about it a moment then nods] yeah...
This pencil is getting smeared. And thus I, the {second} most ingenious (and youngest) of the family shall write in pen {while the REAL most ingenious will continue in pencil}! (Green... my favorite color!)
And hey, what's this about Van?! I don't recall commentary about his so-called cuteness! {I recall you having a certain infatuation with a pic, though [note: this "correction" was before the following sentence was read by the Author] } Just 'cause I gotta picture of him on my door doesn't mean I think he's hot! (okay, I admit it..) {AHA!!... Finally!!}
But, geez! What's that he said a long time ago about Goten's girlfriend, eh?! HA! {That doesn't mean I'm OBSESSED like you... and she was in only ONE episode of DBGT!!}. Uh huh... Riiiight Doug {the Great}. Anyway, today, being a Saturday was dull (as per usual) {You're just trying to change the subject}. My bro and I watched The Dead Poets Society this afternoon. I love that movie... Robin Williams is a cool guy {^^ my idol}. This was his best performance in his career. ^^
I also watched Megaman this morning {why?!}. It was funny... Lan's teacher's more forgetful than he is! ^^ This show isn't like the original, but it's funny...
I'm pissed 'cause they're showing reruns of YU-GI-OH. I WANNA SEE NEW EPISODES DAMMIT. And I'm sure Doug agrees, right? {[calm voice] I am in full accord with you... [belligerently] GIMME NEW YU-GI-OH YOU BASTARDS!} ^^ See? Now [calmly] if you'll just give us new YU-GI-OH, we won't hurt you...badly. {Of course, we know that they won't, so we are already in the process of constructing our diabo - I mean, our plan to get new YU-GI-OH that does not have changes in the name of cards... -.- [flips the bird] translators.}
u.u Note, we are NOT going to use nuclear weapons, poison gas, or the like. Only gu - I mean... our mouths.
//Note: from this point on, the journal transitions into the insanely insane fan fic it has become//
{Author}: Um... [inches away from FBI Guy] Yes sir... Uh... We dislike... Um... The... Uh... fact that... Uh... WB only shows a few Yu-Gi-Oh episodes at a time, but... Uh... We... Uh... [runs away] HA HA!! You'll never ca-AHH, FUCK!!
{Authress}: [yells and screams at FBI agent] Let me go!! I only wanted to hur-Uh... I mean... Talk to the manager of WB!!
FBI Guy: Sure young lady. I believe ya.
Me {referring to Authress}: [sticks tongue out and kicks the guy in the shins then runs away] AHHH!! [notices she's surrounded] Fuck... Life sucks... And you know what? I STILL won't see new episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh!...
FBI Guy: Where you're going, you won't even have a TV.
Me: Ah, dammit!
Other me {referring to Author}: Mother fucker!! Does this mean I won't see [sniffles] ... Trigun... anymore?
FBI Guy: Trigun?! How'd you know about that?! -- I mean... uh... Let's go, sir!
Other me: HEY!! What the fuck was that about?! Hey!
FBI Guy 2: Sir, you have the right to remain silent -
Other me: Uh-huh
FBI Guy 2: AND YOU HAVE JUST DISOBEYED THAT RIGHT!! NOW YOU DIE!!
Other me: What?! What the fuck?! H-hey! Put that -- [looks puzzled] card (???) down...
FBI Guy: We work for -
Other me: What? The CIA?
FBI Guy: No, we don't work for the CIA!
Other me: Then, you're not with the FBI?
FBI Guy: [Annoyed] No, We are not with the FBI, either
Other me: So, why are you holding that card for?
FBI Guy 2: [Still holding card] Huh? Wha-? Oh! This is a Yu-Gi-Oh card -
Other me: Yeah, I saw that. I got lots of those. See? [Pulls out his Yu-Gi-Oh cards]
FBI Guy: O.O WHAT?! How'd you get these? [takes cards]
Other me: O.o Umm... They're sold everywhere.
FBI Guys: OH NO! We're RUINED!
FBI Guy 2: If someone finds out how-uhh-AAAAAH! [Both run around like pussies]
Other me: O.o What... the ... fuck?
Wolf {the Authress}: They're interesting folk. [watches so-called FBI Guys with amusement]
FBI Guys: [run out of breath] Whew...
Other me: Uh... Can I have my cards back?
FBI Guy: NO!!
FBI Guy 2: Of course not!
Wolf: Out of curiosity, where're you guys from, anyway?
FBI Guys: [look at each other] Uh...
Wolf: [Gets up in their faces] You're not the Turks in disguise are you?
FBI Guys: O.O How'd you - OMG!!
Wolf: Bro -- [sweat drop]
FBI Guy: [serious] If you really must know, we're from Neverland. Tinkerbell's best side-kicks.
Wolf: Oh. [disappointed] Maan.
FBI Guy: Now to take you to Neverland where you'll be eaten alive.
HIM, no wait - HE: What?!
Wolf: [teary-eyed] That's not very nice. [looks off to the side] OOH!! A candy bar! [points of to the side]
FBI Guys: O.O WHERE?!! [run of to look for candy bar]
Wolf: [Japanese accent] ^^ VICTORY!! [normal] Now let's split!
Wolf and He: [split]
Wolf: Whoops. [puts self back together] I didn't mean literally!
He: [puts self back together] You stole my line! [anime vein] I'm supposed to say, "OOH! A candy bar!"
Wolf: Oh well! You'll live! Now let's get outta here! [both run away]
Me, no wait - MYSELF: I still can't believe you stole my line. And after all I taught you about respect and decorum!
Wolf: [stops] What?! You never taught me anything about respect or decorum. In fact, if I recall correctly, all you ever taught me was the importance of insanity and that only the insane can be great.
Myself: Well, yeah. Oh well, let's have a candy bar.
Wolf: OOH! A candy bar!
Myself: [anime vein] THERE YOU GO STEALING MY LINE AGAIN!!!
Wolf: Umm... It wasn't a line... so... can I have one?
Myself: NO!! That shall be you punishment for stealing my line!!
Wolf: [whining] Oohh... but I want one.
Myself: Fine! Have the one they're looking for [points to FBI Guys]
Wolf: [still whining] But you well know that one that one isn't real! u.u [sniff] [pause] [not whining anymore] OOH! A candy bar's on your head!
Myself: Oh, nice try. You know, though, there's one on your head.
Wolf: Hey! [starts whining again] I'm not stupid! [drops head and Hershey's Almond falls off] Huh?! A CANDY BAR!! But-- [looks around] Where did it come from?
Myself: The string
Wolf: Huh? String? Oh! A String!! [pulls string]
Voice from above: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! [falls on Wolf]
Wolf: @.@ wooo... da purdy green stars...
Squall: [sits up, still on Wolf] Huh? I fell... [looks up and sees hole in sky] O.O THERE'S A HOLE IN THE SKY!!
Wolf: [raises a hand] Can you get off me now?
Squall: [looks down] Oh, sorry. [gets off]
He: O.O You - You really exist!! SWEET!!
Wolf: [gets up and stumbles a bit] Yeah... [shakes head] That hurt!
Squall: Sorry
Wolf: [looks at Squall] You're annoying.
Squall: Whatever.
Wolf: ^^ THAT'S more like the Squall I remember!
Squall: I don't remember--
Wolf: I'm a BIG fan of FF8!
He: Oh no... [sweat drop]
Wolf: [Rants on about FF8's greatness]
Squall: Uh... [looks at watch] Where am I?
Wolf: [blinks] In America
Squall: Where's that?
Wolf: On Earth
Squall: Oh. [pause] What's that?
Wolf: ...
He: A planet
Squall: Well, DUH.
He: Well, excuse me but you asked WHAT it was, so... I simply answered your question.
Wolf: Now, if you had asked WHERE that was-
He: I would have answered, "In the Milky Way."
Squall: [sweat drop] Uh... You two related?
Wolf and He: [look at each other] Nah...
Squall: Oh. [pause] You look and act like it.
Wolf and He: [scoff]
Wolf: That's because we ARE.
Squall: Then why'd you say you weren't?!
Wolf: [shrugs]
He: Anyway, we'd better get moving before those so-called FBI Tinkerbell guys show up.
Wolf and He: [runaway]
Squall: Umm...They're weird. [pause] Hey! Wait for me! [chases after others]
MEANWHILE...
FBI Guy: Man, where's that candy bar?
FBI Guy 2: I don't know. Do you think those two were lying?
FBI Guy: Nah...They seem like good kids... ... ... ..
IF ONLY THEY KNEW... AND REMEMBERED!
A/N: Ahh... Yes, abbreviating it now, now that you (hopefully) realize that this was created by two people...
Author: Yes. But, y'know... I have always wondered... Why is abbreviate such a long word?
Authress: I don't know... That's a good question... Hmm...
Author: [think... think...] Hmm... I do not know... Oh well! Time to make an announcement! Would you do the honors?
Authress: ^^ Gladly. ahem Okay, folks! We're holding a contest!
Author: A contest, most definitely. See, folks, we want to see who can guess where we switch in who's writing. You can make your guesses in the reviews. The person who sends in the first review with the correct answer will be "given"...
Authress: A secret surprise... [moans and groans from the few readers who made it to the end]
Author and Authress: O.o [sweat drop] Heh.
Author: It seems that most people are not very excited by our offer...
Authress: ... Oh well! The person who wins will be, once they get their "prize." [long pause as the audience prepares to review (hopefully) this utterly, fantastically, superbly, and insanely written fic] Oh! Wait!! Before I forget! [pause] Shit. I forgot. Give me a moment here...
Author: Okay. I'll buy you some time. [singing] Oh, she'll be comin' round the moutain when she comes! She'll--
Authress: [glare] Forget it, Doug. And at any rate, I just remembered. It was about the word "genteel."
Author: [stops singing] Oh yeah. [shakes head, trying to get the song out of his head and gets frustrated]. Hmph. Oh wait, I'll play Godsmack! That'll surely get that out! [Make Me Believe by Godsmack is heard in background] Yeah... That's good
Authress: [sweat drop] Uh... Not that I'm objecting or anything, but what was the reason for playing Godsmack?
Author: [matter of fact face] I got that stupid song stuck in my head, and I wanted to get it out.
Authress: Oh... Okay... Oh yes. Back to the subject on hand. [puts on a matter of fact face] I was just wondering... How many of you know what that means anyway? I mean... It was in one of Doug's corrections and stuff (he replaced "inconsiderate" with it) but... It's not a widely used word. ^^
Author: You woudn't really be able to get the joke if you didn't know what genteel means. So, if you know, you were probably laughing your ass off. If you didn't, go find out and THEN laugh your ass off! Got it? Good
Authress: Anyway, that's about it. Until NEXT CHAPTER [flashes Victory sign]
Author: [sweat drop] Yeah. Bye, everybody
Disclaimer: The authorS (yes it IS dual fan-fic.. by brother and sister nonetheless) do NOT own any of the following Anime or Anime characters mentioned in this chapter:
YU-GI-OH
Squall From Final Fantasy VIII
(Yeah, that's it in this chapter, but more to come BWAHAHAHAHA!!! [after all, it's only The Beginning])
Authors' Note: This fan fic starts out as a journal [exasperated sighs heard and 5 million people stop reading here], but as you will find out IF you continue reading, it transforms itself... Enough said! No spoilers here. We recommend that you DO NOT quit reading this or your hands will be tainted with blood of all those Anime chara-OOPS!! La d-da da da....
Authress: -.- DOUG!! You almost gave it away!!
Author: HEY!! I was able to stop in time!! They won't know anything!
Authress: u.u Hmph. Yeah, but wait until NEXT time, you nut-head!
Author: I'm new to this, OK! Geez!! Critics
Authress: -.- Critic my ass.
Author: I didn't know it was a critic.
Authress: Stop being a smart ass, jackass
Author: That's a little contradicting, isn't it? I mean, wouldn't it be hard to be a smart ass AND a jackass AT THE SAME TIME?!?
Authress: Hmm... [pauses and thinks a moment] I guess you're right... But STILL!! [anime vein rises on temple] You're still both!!
Author: O.o Heh. Interesting. And how do suppose that is possible? Let's think hypothetically [multiple blood-curdling screams are heard and 5 million more people just ran for their lives] for a moment, OK? If a guy is a jackass, then essentially he is a stubborn, mule-like person --
Authress: OOH!! Like Hiei?!
Author: -.- Yes. Like Hiei. u.u Now... May I continue WITHOUT interruption
Authress: ^^ Sure
Author: Thank you. [sighs] As I was saying... he would be a stubborn, mule-like person, [pauses abruptly and looks at Authress, who is pondering something] being so called because mules (or is it donkeys, hmm... Oh well) are also known as jackasses. While contrarily, a smart ass is a person who annoys people by saying stupid-sounding things full-knowingly. -.- You get my point?
Authress: -.- Yes. [yawns] But I'm bored... and let's get to the good stuff. And by the way, you just scared off a few million people... again!
Author: Hey!! The first time wasn't my fault! What did you expect me to do, let them figure it out for themselves?! That would have just scared more of them off!! [Snores are heard and ANOTHER 5 million just fell asleep] [pause] GOD DAMMIT!!
Authress: [Anime vein on temple] WAKE UP, DUMBASSES!! WE'RE TRYING TO TELL A STORY HERE!! Well, we would be, if it weren't for MY BROTHER! [2.5 million people wake up with a start, the others are still fast asleep]
Author: Well, SORRY for trying to set the mood.
Authress: SET THE MOOD MY ASS!!
Author: YOU SEE! That's what started this whole thing!! YOUR ASS
Authress: -.- FUCK YOU!! Leave my cheeks out of this!!
Author: O.o Ookaay. One, no thanks. Two, I have been trying to, you just KEEP BRINGING 'EM UP!!
Authress: [snorts] Oh, shit, I think that's a start of a laugh!! [snorts some more then bursts out laughing] AH SHIT!! I CAN'T STOP!!
Author: SEE!! EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!
Authress: [stops laughing and glares at Author] -.- .... HA... HA...
Author: [Looks at document] You know what? I just realized that our "Authors' Note" is almost two pages long now.
Authress: [blinks] Really? [looks at document also] O.O HOLY SHIT!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!
Author: [stifled laughter]
Authress: What?
Author: [laughing hysterically] YOU... DID IT... AGAIN!!
Authress: Whaaat? [question marks pop up over head]
Author: [still laughing] N-nothing... let's... just get to the story
Chapter 1: The Beginning (in case you forgot by now)
Second Authors' Note:
Author: Oh! By the way, as stated before, this starts out as a journal entry (taken verbatim) of the AuthRESS. You will notice, however, that there are "corrections" in braces (these: {} ). These were added by ME, the AuthOR.
Authress: And the "corrections" of the "corrections" (by ME) will be in double braces (like so: {{}} )
June 7, 2003
Hello new journal. ^^ Not quite sure what exactly drove me to write in this thing, but I figured "Hey! What the hell? It might help my writing style! My life's humorous enough..."
Well, it is! If it were possible you might like to jump into my shoes and give it a whirl. Hell, who knows? Maybe I'll publish this in later years...
Though, it might rub off into the dirt like my other recent attempts. Who knows?
It's time to tell ya a bit about me - or rather how I view myself. I think of myself as a ' "slightly" arrogant, over-confident, goody-goody,' as I wrote to my 9th grade (and current) English teacher while answering a question to an assignment, an interesting self-evaluation. My brother, Douglas, views me as extremely arrogant. How'd he get that idea? ^^ Surely he wouldn't think a sweet and innocent angel [scoffs can be heard in the background] like me can be so self-centered? Nah... Of course not! [a large eraser appears and erases the "nah" and "not"] {--correction by the Great Brother she has [scoffs heard from Authress] } {{more like the not-so-great brother I have. Who's the {other} true arrogant folk of the family.}}
-.- Just ignore that trivial {perpetual} sibling squabble there. See what happens when you share things to you older brothers? Sheesh! So inconsiderate {genteel} (and yes, we are VERY proud of our arrogance as well as our insanity {DAMN RIGHT!!}. As one great man quoted, "There is a very thin line between genius and insanity." Gotta love those kinda folk, ya know?!
Anyway, being a great female Otaku.. I love Anime! [anime vein] Though I hate the American editors! Like FUNimation - Some of the other American editing companies aren't so bad though. Hey, I'll even list a few of my favorites:
InuYasha
Gundam Wing
Trigun (rated the best by many)
DB, DBZ, DBGT {though it is through FUNimation}
Fushigi Yugi {--[cough] Tasuki}
Yu Yu Hakusho {another great gone decent}
{[cough] Jin}
Ranma 1/2 (manga, though there really isn't that much of a difference)
Escaflowne {--[cough] Van}
Miracle Girls (manga)
Rurouni Kenshin (they say the manga's better, but I can't find it)
And more favorites from where that came from
Also, the two RPGs I've played (and absolutely love):
Final Fantasy 7 & 8
They're wonderful!! ^^ Beautiful works of art! Makes me wanna play 9 and 10! And they say Chrono Cross is really good, too. My brother (yes, the "other true arrogant folk of the family") has AMVs with scenes from the games and from the looks of it, it just makes me wanna play them even more. Hmm... Since when did this get such a serious tone? {I dunno}
Oh yeah. That's right! I was talking about anime! ^^ See? I really am an obsessed mad woman {^^ definitely}. I'm 15 and already outta my rocker. My bro says the old man who was supposed to make it died before he even picked up the hammer, though {I don't remember that! True, though}. Hmmm... perhaps that's true... [thinks about it a moment then nods] yeah...
This pencil is getting smeared. And thus I, the {second} most ingenious (and youngest) of the family shall write in pen {while the REAL most ingenious will continue in pencil}! (Green... my favorite color!)
And hey, what's this about Van?! I don't recall commentary about his so-called cuteness! {I recall you having a certain infatuation with a pic, though [note: this "correction" was before the following sentence was read by the Author] } Just 'cause I gotta picture of him on my door doesn't mean I think he's hot! (okay, I admit it..) {AHA!!... Finally!!}
But, geez! What's that he said a long time ago about Goten's girlfriend, eh?! HA! {That doesn't mean I'm OBSESSED like you... and she was in only ONE episode of DBGT!!}. Uh huh... Riiiight Doug {the Great}. Anyway, today, being a Saturday was dull (as per usual) {You're just trying to change the subject}. My bro and I watched The Dead Poets Society this afternoon. I love that movie... Robin Williams is a cool guy {^^ my idol}. This was his best performance in his career. ^^
I also watched Megaman this morning {why?!}. It was funny... Lan's teacher's more forgetful than he is! ^^ This show isn't like the original, but it's funny...
I'm pissed 'cause they're showing reruns of YU-GI-OH. I WANNA SEE NEW EPISODES DAMMIT. And I'm sure Doug agrees, right? {[calm voice] I am in full accord with you... [belligerently] GIMME NEW YU-GI-OH YOU BASTARDS!} ^^ See? Now [calmly] if you'll just give us new YU-GI-OH, we won't hurt you...badly. {Of course, we know that they won't, so we are already in the process of constructing our diabo - I mean, our plan to get new YU-GI-OH that does not have changes in the name of cards... -.- [flips the bird] translators.}
u.u Note, we are NOT going to use nuclear weapons, poison gas, or the like. Only gu - I mean... our mouths.
//Note: from this point on, the journal transitions into the insanely insane fan fic it has become//
{Author}: Um... [inches away from FBI Guy] Yes sir... Uh... We dislike... Um... The... Uh... fact that... Uh... WB only shows a few Yu-Gi-Oh episodes at a time, but... Uh... We... Uh... [runs away] HA HA!! You'll never ca-AHH, FUCK!!
{Authress}: [yells and screams at FBI agent] Let me go!! I only wanted to hur-Uh... I mean... Talk to the manager of WB!!
FBI Guy: Sure young lady. I believe ya.
Me {referring to Authress}: [sticks tongue out and kicks the guy in the shins then runs away] AHHH!! [notices she's surrounded] Fuck... Life sucks... And you know what? I STILL won't see new episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh!...
FBI Guy: Where you're going, you won't even have a TV.
Me: Ah, dammit!
Other me {referring to Author}: Mother fucker!! Does this mean I won't see [sniffles] ... Trigun... anymore?
FBI Guy: Trigun?! How'd you know about that?! -- I mean... uh... Let's go, sir!
Other me: HEY!! What the fuck was that about?! Hey!
FBI Guy 2: Sir, you have the right to remain silent -
Other me: Uh-huh
FBI Guy 2: AND YOU HAVE JUST DISOBEYED THAT RIGHT!! NOW YOU DIE!!
Other me: What?! What the fuck?! H-hey! Put that -- [looks puzzled] card (???) down...
FBI Guy: We work for -
Other me: What? The CIA?
FBI Guy: No, we don't work for the CIA!
Other me: Then, you're not with the FBI?
FBI Guy: [Annoyed] No, We are not with the FBI, either
Other me: So, why are you holding that card for?
FBI Guy 2: [Still holding card] Huh? Wha-? Oh! This is a Yu-Gi-Oh card -
Other me: Yeah, I saw that. I got lots of those. See? [Pulls out his Yu-Gi-Oh cards]
FBI Guy: O.O WHAT?! How'd you get these? [takes cards]
Other me: O.o Umm... They're sold everywhere.
FBI Guys: OH NO! We're RUINED!
FBI Guy 2: If someone finds out how-uhh-AAAAAH! [Both run around like pussies]
Other me: O.o What... the ... fuck?
Wolf {the Authress}: They're interesting folk. [watches so-called FBI Guys with amusement]
FBI Guys: [run out of breath] Whew...
Other me: Uh... Can I have my cards back?
FBI Guy: NO!!
FBI Guy 2: Of course not!
Wolf: Out of curiosity, where're you guys from, anyway?
FBI Guys: [look at each other] Uh...
Wolf: [Gets up in their faces] You're not the Turks in disguise are you?
FBI Guys: O.O How'd you - OMG!!
Wolf: Bro -- [sweat drop]
FBI Guy: [serious] If you really must know, we're from Neverland. Tinkerbell's best side-kicks.
Wolf: Oh. [disappointed] Maan.
FBI Guy: Now to take you to Neverland where you'll be eaten alive.
HIM, no wait - HE: What?!
Wolf: [teary-eyed] That's not very nice. [looks off to the side] OOH!! A candy bar! [points of to the side]
FBI Guys: O.O WHERE?!! [run of to look for candy bar]
Wolf: [Japanese accent] ^^ VICTORY!! [normal] Now let's split!
Wolf and He: [split]
Wolf: Whoops. [puts self back together] I didn't mean literally!
He: [puts self back together] You stole my line! [anime vein] I'm supposed to say, "OOH! A candy bar!"
Wolf: Oh well! You'll live! Now let's get outta here! [both run away]
Me, no wait - MYSELF: I still can't believe you stole my line. And after all I taught you about respect and decorum!
Wolf: [stops] What?! You never taught me anything about respect or decorum. In fact, if I recall correctly, all you ever taught me was the importance of insanity and that only the insane can be great.
Myself: Well, yeah. Oh well, let's have a candy bar.
Wolf: OOH! A candy bar!
Myself: [anime vein] THERE YOU GO STEALING MY LINE AGAIN!!!
Wolf: Umm... It wasn't a line... so... can I have one?
Myself: NO!! That shall be you punishment for stealing my line!!
Wolf: [whining] Oohh... but I want one.
Myself: Fine! Have the one they're looking for [points to FBI Guys]
Wolf: [still whining] But you well know that one that one isn't real! u.u [sniff] [pause] [not whining anymore] OOH! A candy bar's on your head!
Myself: Oh, nice try. You know, though, there's one on your head.
Wolf: Hey! [starts whining again] I'm not stupid! [drops head and Hershey's Almond falls off] Huh?! A CANDY BAR!! But-- [looks around] Where did it come from?
Myself: The string
Wolf: Huh? String? Oh! A String!! [pulls string]
Voice from above: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! [falls on Wolf]
Wolf: @.@ wooo... da purdy green stars...
Squall: [sits up, still on Wolf] Huh? I fell... [looks up and sees hole in sky] O.O THERE'S A HOLE IN THE SKY!!
Wolf: [raises a hand] Can you get off me now?
Squall: [looks down] Oh, sorry. [gets off]
He: O.O You - You really exist!! SWEET!!
Wolf: [gets up and stumbles a bit] Yeah... [shakes head] That hurt!
Squall: Sorry
Wolf: [looks at Squall] You're annoying.
Squall: Whatever.
Wolf: ^^ THAT'S more like the Squall I remember!
Squall: I don't remember--
Wolf: I'm a BIG fan of FF8!
He: Oh no... [sweat drop]
Wolf: [Rants on about FF8's greatness]
Squall: Uh... [looks at watch] Where am I?
Wolf: [blinks] In America
Squall: Where's that?
Wolf: On Earth
Squall: Oh. [pause] What's that?
Wolf: ...
He: A planet
Squall: Well, DUH.
He: Well, excuse me but you asked WHAT it was, so... I simply answered your question.
Wolf: Now, if you had asked WHERE that was-
He: I would have answered, "In the Milky Way."
Squall: [sweat drop] Uh... You two related?
Wolf and He: [look at each other] Nah...
Squall: Oh. [pause] You look and act like it.
Wolf and He: [scoff]
Wolf: That's because we ARE.
Squall: Then why'd you say you weren't?!
Wolf: [shrugs]
He: Anyway, we'd better get moving before those so-called FBI Tinkerbell guys show up.
Wolf and He: [runaway]
Squall: Umm...They're weird. [pause] Hey! Wait for me! [chases after others]
MEANWHILE...
FBI Guy: Man, where's that candy bar?
FBI Guy 2: I don't know. Do you think those two were lying?
FBI Guy: Nah...They seem like good kids... ... ... ..
IF ONLY THEY KNEW... AND REMEMBERED!
A/N: Ahh... Yes, abbreviating it now, now that you (hopefully) realize that this was created by two people...
Author: Yes. But, y'know... I have always wondered... Why is abbreviate such a long word?
Authress: I don't know... That's a good question... Hmm...
Author: [think... think...] Hmm... I do not know... Oh well! Time to make an announcement! Would you do the honors?
Authress: ^^ Gladly. ahem Okay, folks! We're holding a contest!
Author: A contest, most definitely. See, folks, we want to see who can guess where we switch in who's writing. You can make your guesses in the reviews. The person who sends in the first review with the correct answer will be "given"...
Authress: A secret surprise... [moans and groans from the few readers who made it to the end]
Author and Authress: O.o [sweat drop] Heh.
Author: It seems that most people are not very excited by our offer...
Authress: ... Oh well! The person who wins will be, once they get their "prize." [long pause as the audience prepares to review (hopefully) this utterly, fantastically, superbly, and insanely written fic] Oh! Wait!! Before I forget! [pause] Shit. I forgot. Give me a moment here...
Author: Okay. I'll buy you some time. [singing] Oh, she'll be comin' round the moutain when she comes! She'll--
Authress: [glare] Forget it, Doug. And at any rate, I just remembered. It was about the word "genteel."
Author: [stops singing] Oh yeah. [shakes head, trying to get the song out of his head and gets frustrated]. Hmph. Oh wait, I'll play Godsmack! That'll surely get that out! [Make Me Believe by Godsmack is heard in background] Yeah... That's good
Authress: [sweat drop] Uh... Not that I'm objecting or anything, but what was the reason for playing Godsmack?
Author: [matter of fact face] I got that stupid song stuck in my head, and I wanted to get it out.
Authress: Oh... Okay... Oh yes. Back to the subject on hand. [puts on a matter of fact face] I was just wondering... How many of you know what that means anyway? I mean... It was in one of Doug's corrections and stuff (he replaced "inconsiderate" with it) but... It's not a widely used word. ^^
Author: You woudn't really be able to get the joke if you didn't know what genteel means. So, if you know, you were probably laughing your ass off. If you didn't, go find out and THEN laugh your ass off! Got it? Good
Authress: Anyway, that's about it. Until NEXT CHAPTER [flashes Victory sign]
Author: [sweat drop] Yeah. Bye, everybody
