(This fic is for Looney Luna Loves You. I told her I'd write her a fic a long time ago. I'm sorry it's so late but it's here now! Am I forgiven yet?

I was watching 'Rent' the other day, and I totally thought of Moony and Padfoot when I heard this song. I own neither the books nor the musical. This also includes the best line from the song 'My Band' by D12.)

The Gryffindors had just won the Quidditch cup, Lily had finally said yes to James, and there were no classes for the next week due to a 'mysterious' explosion on the third floor. Life was good.

Well it was good for everyone except for a certain teenage werewolf who was jealously watching his boyfriend flirt with some fifth year girl. His eyes narrowed when the girl started to stroke Sirius' chest.

"Prongs, hold this for me." Remus interrupted his friend's eighth retelling of the Quidditch match, and thrusted his bottle of butterbeer into James wildly flailing hands.

"If you're not back in five minutes I'm chucking it." James said cheerfully and turned back to his completely captivated audience of one Peter Pettigrew.

Remus stalked up to his boyfriend and squeezed his shoulder to get his attention.

"Oh, hey Moony!" Sirius grinned obliviously at Remus. "Have you met Maureen?" He took a swig from his butterbeer.

"Hi." Maureen smiled pleasantly and held out her hand. Remus barely glanced at it.

"I'm charmed. Sirius, could I speak to you for a moment?"

"Yeah, sure." Sirius followed Remus a few paces away to a dark secluded corner. "Baby, wha-"

"What was that?" Remus snapped glaring up at the slightly taller boy and gesturing across the room to where Maureen was chatting with another student.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, my god Moony! We were just talking."

"You were flirting with her." Remus said, completely deadpanned.

"Moony, I was just being friendly."

Remus threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "You know what, I cant deal with this right now. I'm going to bed. Why don't you go back to that whore you were hitting on?"

Sirius gave Remus a look of pure annoyance. "Can you hold this for a moment?" Sirius passed his bottle to a passing student, and then he turned back to Remus with a scowl on his face. "You know, I can't take much more of this."

"Excuse me?" Remus put a hand on his hip and gave Sirius a look that could even make that Lord Valdything's balls fall off. Fortunately for Sirius, he was not Lord Waldefort.

Sirius glared at his boyfriend. "I am sick and tired of your obsessive, compulsive, control freak, paranoia." Remus' mouth fell open in shock. He was rendered speechless. "I didn't get my dick pierced, cause it freaked you out." Sirius said accusingly. "I didn't stay at the Three Broomsticks last night, because you wanted to go to bed."

Remus found his voice. "You were flirting with the busty barmaid!"

"There will always be busty barmaids flirting with me!" Sirius said loudly. The entire Common Room fell silent. Fights between the Marauders were always entertaining, and proved to be great conversation starters. No one wanted to miss this. "Give me a break! Every single day when I walk down the corridors I hear girls say 'Oh my God it's him! Becky oh my fucking god it's Sirius Black!' Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me! Boys and girls, Moony I can't help it."

Sirius smiled reassuringly at his lycanthropic boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. Remus looked as if he were about to let the whole 'flirting with another girl' thing go when Sirius reached down and rudely squeezed Remus' arse. Angrily, Remus shoved Sirius away and pushed past him. Sirius grabbed the top of Remus' arm and spun him around.

"Remus, hippogriff in a cage can never see the sunshine. This bad boy needs his stage, Baby, lets have some fun. You are the one I love, people would kill to fill your shoes. You love the attention too, Moony.

So don't waste my time crying 'Oh, Padfoot, am I still your baby?'"

Remus jerked his arm away from Sirius. "I have a perfectly good reason to doubt you Padfoot." Remus snapped.

Sirius groaned in aggravation. " There's no way I can be what I'm not. But hey, don't you want Your Man hot?" Remus just gave Sirius a look of deep disgust. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't fight me Remus. Don't lose your head. Every night who's in your bed?"

There was a scandalized gasp from around the Common Room. Someone who sounded suspiciously like James muttered. "Way to much information, Pads…"

"Who?" Sirius demanded, ignoring his audience. "Who's in your bed?" Sirius smirked and raised his eyebrow in a challenge he was confident he would win.

Remus shook his head and took a step back from Sirius. "This won't work, Padfoot. I look before I leap. I love margins and… and discipline. I- I make lists in my sleep Sirius. What's my sin? I never quit. I hate mess but I love you." Sirius smiled softly, but Remus shook his head. "What do I do with my impromptu, Siri? Just be wise because I can satisfy." Remus suddenly smirked. "You've got a prize, you are one lucky man."

Sirius just rolled his eyes.

"Take me for who I am, Sirius." Remus said softly.

"What? A control freak? An over attentive Snob?" Sirius sneered.

"And if you give a damn about me, or our relationship…" Remus' voice trailed off.

"You are a loveable droll geek! An anal retentive!"

"Just take me or leave me!" Remus threw his arms out like he was about to be crucified, his smug expression contradicting the pose. "Take me Padfoot, take me or leave me."

Sirius glared at Remus then suddenly hit the wall. "That's it! You are the straw that breaks my camel's back, Remus. Don't you look at me like that. You know I won't take it back." He stormed away heading towards the boys Dormitories, muttering to himself the whole way. "Men! What is it about them? Can't live with them or without them. Merlin."

As soon as Sirius' voice faded out, everyone turned to stare at the boy Sirius had just left alone. Remus glared at the staircase where his boyfriend- excuse me- ex boyfriend had just disappeared. He tore his eyes away, shrugged, and sighed. "I guess I'm leaving then, I'm gone." And with that Remus Lupin turned his back on the people still watching him and strode quite calmly out of the portrait hole.

As soon as the portrait clicked shut, chatter broke out among the young witches and wizards in the Gryffindor Common room.

Lily anxiously tugged on the arm of her boyfriend James' robes. He turned to her. Lily licked her lips. "James don't you think you should go talk to them?" She gestured to the Dormitory stairs and the Portrait hole.

James laughed. "Oh, don't worry about them Lils. They'll be together again in an hour or two."

Sure enough when Lily and her friends went down to the great hall the next morning, Remus was giggling and sitting on Sirius lap while he fed him buttered toast.

(Please tell me you liked it. And even if you didn't, review me anyway!)