In Darkness and Light

Faramir after the failure at Osgiliath, during the time his father tried to burn him alive, and a conversation with Pippin after everything is over. No pairing. Movieverse.


I knew I had been heading for my death. Father probably knew it too. If father could not have Boromir, then he would not suffer me either. It was a depressing thought, one that burned my insides and made me feel hollow inside – My father didn't want me. Despite the white wizard's faith in my father's love for me, I felt empty and cold, without purpose or means to live. I went into that battle knowing, hoping, wishing I would die…if only my father would feel proud of me in some small way, that I gave my all in the attempt to save his kingdom.

Then all was black. I felt the shock and pain of many arrows piercing my body, and then I felt nothing and knew nothing. My world was gone. My life was over.

I sat in a cold, dark place, pondering my life. What had been worthy about my life? Nothing. Boromir had always been the one to attain glory, not me. Yet the men followed me without question. I could not understand it at all. They all looked at me like I was worthy of great praise, a great captain of Gondor like my brother – or better even.

The little one gave me the same look.

He looked at me like I was worth something to him, like I mattered. He looked up to me, wanted to be like me, but why? Why did he seem to have pride in just talking to me? And when my father was cold to me, he felt my pain. I always watch what I do around him. I never want to let him down. Ever.

But it seems I just did. He knew I would die if I left, just like everyone else. I knew dying would be letting him down, letting father down, letting Gondor down, but I died anyway. I am a coward not worthy of being followed or looked up to.

Then I hear my father's voice. It's distant and upset, but I hear it. I can't understand a word he says though….Then another voice, the little one. He's insistent and feeling futile. Oh I hope father doesn't blame him for something, he'll be in for something terrible if that happens. Be easy on him father, whatever happened probably wasn't his fault.

Well, actually….heh. He may have done it on accident, but forgive him, father.

But now the voices are gone, and I am alone again. My dark abyss allows me only the freedom to think and I find myself lonely. I wish Boromir was here. If I am dead, and he is dead, then why is he not here with me? Have I done something unworthy of the house of our fathers, something so terrible that I am not allowed rest there?

Of course I did. I displeased my father and forfeited my life for a wasted cause. It is no wonder I am bound to stay here, unmoving, alone, and without peace.

Father's voice is closer now, I think. It sounds soft, but I think I heard what he said…..Burning?

Who's burning?! Not Pippin! Father, say you didn't! Do not punish him in that way, he doesn't deserve it!

Wait. Did he say 'his spirit crumbles'? Father, I don't understand you. What is going on outside this wasteland? I hear a quiet voice and then-

"He's not dead! No! No! No! He's not dead! No!"

Not….dead….

Me! Say it is true, my friend, please. Am I truly still alive? But you sound so frantic. I must find some way to wake up and find out what plagues you so. I must reclaim the worth in your eyes. I'm sorry I was so stupid.

I follow the echoes of his voice, even long after they have vanished, without ever moving from my spot. I must follow with only my mind and hope that is enough.

Wet? I flinch and try to remove the liquid from my eyes, but still I cannot. Wait. What was I doing? The way out! That's right. I was looking for the way out by way of voices.

I listen carefully. A horse. The white wizard is here with me now! Sir, please lead me from this dark place with your redeeming white light.

Oh! It's hot. Why is it suddenly so hot? I was freezing, now I am burning! I try to move from the fire, but I am still held immobile. Dear wizard, save me! Boromir!

My pleas are answered! Someone is with me in the heat. I feel them next to me and it feels as if our souls are bound together by fate. But you are not my brother, you are different. I have felt this connection before….

A loud cry of desperation overwhelms my senses and suddenly light floods my vision. The little one! He must have saved me! I can see the marble ceiling of the tombs and the sound of fire fills my senses, but I feel so weak. I have not the strength to keep my eyes open and they shut almost immediately. Someone pats my leg and I realize it was on fire just now. Then that comforting presence is gone and I hear a very familiar voice, up close and loud in my ears-

"You will not take my son from me!"

That may have been what truly woke me from the coma. Father called me…his son. My father just acknowledged my worth in his life.

But the boy is screaming. Father, what are you doing to him? He just saved my life!

I force my head to the side, all the strength I have going into that one motion, and try desperately to open my eyes. Father, you haven't lost me. I am right here, alive and next to you. Do not worry father, I will never leave you, as long as you want me. I try to speak and tell him this, but my mouth never even opens.

He looks shocked, and I can understand that, but what is he doing in the fire? Father, get out of there, please!

"Faramir…," he whispers, and it has so much love in it that I can barely stand it. My heart is swelling in my chest.

Father!

My eyes are closing again. Father, I want you to know….I love you too! But father…

My father is on fire now, he is ablaze all over and I can see it clearly before my eyes slip shut once more. My father is going to die. Does he know I care for him still? Somebody please let him know, before the end. I love you, father. You have not always been kind to me, in fact it was rare…But you raised me and taught me and gave Boromir a brother with me. You have always done your job as best you can, both politically and personally. I will never forget you, I promise.

"So passes Denethor, son of Ecthelion."

And I slip into a dark abyss once more, this time a pleasant dark of dreams.

It is here I dream of my father, and my mother, and my brother. We are all together and happy, and then mother vanishes and father becomes cold. I am confused, but my brother is sure and takes control. In the dream we aged very fast and then the Ring was found and Boromir vanishes as well. It is just father and I, and we are across a great cavern from one another.

Father begins to grow weary, and the chasm shrinks. Just as he cannot hold himself up any longer, I reach out and support him. My strength keeps him up for a moment, but then father disappears too and I hold nothing but air in my hands. Grief overtakes me. I have failed at everything I do.

Then a hand touches my tunic at the waist and I glance down to see the little hobbit by my side. I look around me and see the white wizard, Gandalf, there too. Then the city of Minas Tirith rises around me and I see it is in ruins. I have failed. Then a voice calls out across the plains where a new sun is rising and I am at peace.

"I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the White City fall, nor our people fail."

Light from the rising sun overtakes the city and the walls are rebuilt, the ruin is no more. Minas Tirith shines with new fervor and the land of Gondor is bright and healthy. Upon the courtyard of the Tree of Kings a great multitude arises, and the city is bursting with people. A king is being crowned. The kinships are reforged and new alliances are made. I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air, but I cannot see who the new king is or with whom the alliances are formed. How I wish I knew!

But a new faith has risen in me. This war will come to an end, and Gondor will rise victorious! Our new king, a rightful heir to the throne, will bring all of Middle Earth into a bright and glorious new age! Oh how I cannot wait to see it be!

-

-

Now many days have passed since the end of the battle and I stand on a balcony overlooking my great city. Repairs are underway and I can see people coming slowly across the plains towards Minas Tirith in the distance. I am still too weary to be out fixing the city, but I do command many of the people in their duties.

Much of the travels of the Fellowship have been recounted to me by Lord Aragorn – soon to be King - and Gandalf, but Frodo still lays dormant and Samwise refuses to tell the tale until Frodo awakens. I think the elf Legolas resents me, possibly due to my brother's actions on the journey, and the dwarf doesn't seem to care. They have a strange sort of friendship, I must say.

I hear a door open behind me and turn to see a certain little hobbit standing in the doorway, simply staring back at me.

"Hello, Pippin," I greet with a small smile. It is a bit strange to me, now, to see him without his faithful friend Merry by his side.

"Hello. How are you doing?" he asked. He seems uncertain and I know exactly why, but I do not change the situation.

"Quite well, actually. My city is quite nearly repaired. I am very anxious to see it shine in the sunlight again," I inform him almost offhandedly. Sunlight. That was one of the things I loved most about waking up after my father's death. No more darkness without end. No more constricting bonds of shadow. Sunlight lit my days and gave me hope for each new tomorrow.

I turned to stare out at the city again and I knew Pippin was fidgeting behind me. I almost began to laugh. "Um-," he began.

"I asked for you to be brought to me because….I want to apologize," I finally explained. Pippin was suddenly at my side, giving me an incredulous look, as if seeing my face would alleviate his confusion at my statement.

"Apologize? What for?" he asked. I didn't look at him but stared at the people working below us instead.

"For anything my father may have said or done to you, especially when you saved my life. For not thanking you earlier for saving me and for my own behavior as well…," I told him quietly. He didn't seem to understand.

"Well, thank you for the first two…but what on earth did you do?" he asked. I was so shocked I looked straight into his eyes, a biting remark in my mouth about everything I'd done to lose his trust in me, but those very same eyes stopped me.

In those eyes, I saw how he felt. He thought no less of me. The fact that I was alive was enough to redeem my suicidal actions. He still looked up to me, he still had faith in me. Hobbits are amazing creatures, amazing people. I laughed and couldn't help it. It felt so good to laugh again. Sadly, Pippin just looked more confused.

"Never mind me. Never mind," I waved the thought away and he seemed to accept that. Suddenly, my memory flooded me and I was stuck wondering how exactly my father ended himself, but I did not ask, even though the answers stood not a foot from my side.

My father burned to death and I already knew that. I did not wish to talk of him for I may have started crying. I squeezed my eyes shut momentarily and let out a long breath before staring out at the sky this time.

"Many things have changed in a short time," I whispered. Pippin cocked his head to the side. "Though, I should hope, Peregrin Took, that you would always be my friend."

Pippin smiled and it was probably the happiest I'd ever seen him except when Merry was healed. "I can promise you that. Frodo, Sam, Merry, and me are all going back to the Shire when all is said and done….but I also promise to come back to Minas Tirith and see you again, eh?"

I smiled and we shook hands. "Great. I will look forward to your return."

We stood there, people watching, for a good long while before anything was said. When something was said, it was Pippin who said it, and I nearly went tumbling over the balcony rail for my shock.

"Can I name my first son after you?"

Fin


Just something I couldn't stop thinking about. I was a little nuts two nights ago, thinking about David Wenham and his facial expressions after we watched Australia. I kept thinking back to Faramir so I ended up reading all these fanfics and watching the scenes he was in and went 'hm....that's a good story there.' Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I told you I wrote this at night. My sister read it, and she didn't make any comments on spelling, but I don't know.

Review, let me know if you liked it, hated it, or whatever. If you can't tell, this is movieverse and I never read The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, so I don't know how it happens in the book....yea. Review, please.