October 31, 1981
"James!" Lily screamed, her voice shaking, "James! My wand's gone!"
It had only been seconds after they noticed the NAME charm had been interrupted. Her screams jarred James from his spot in the living room. He ran into the kitchen, his eyes meeting hers. She was sickly pale; her eyes were wide as she stood deathly still in front of the kitchen side drawer. Freezing in shock himself, he gasped, "What?"
She shook her head miserably and glanced out the kitchen window again, searching the darkness of their backyard for any movement.
"Accio!" James called for it and nothing came.
Denial and panic together over took James's entire body with a cold chill. He ran to the drawer and looked inside. Her wand was not in its place. He moved her muggle cooking books over to the side, no wand. His hands were trembling disobediently. He shoved the books to the other side of the drawer; still no wand. Furious and desperate, James grabbed the handle and pulled it as hard as he could; freeing the wooden drawer from its hinges. All the contents fell to the floor with a loud clatter, a small, blue button rolled under a cabinet. No wand.
"Peter." The name seeped from his mouth with disgust.
She ignored him. Peter couldn't have—"James," she gasped, "What do we do?"
In shock he looked to her again, he knew she saw the fear written all over his face. She couldn't fight alongside him as they had planned. He made the decision.
"Go."
Her breathing came out in pants as he grabbed her arm and led her towards the back of the kitchen. "What?"
A small click from the front door grabbed their attention. The house fell silent. Lily felt every one of her senses intensify; James felt the hair on his neck stand on end. Their large front door was opened wide and hit the wall behind it with a deep thud. Someone had entered the house: Lord Voldemort.
"It's him." James opened the side door that hid their back staircase, shoved Lily towards it, and ordered under his breath, "Go!"
Being pushed through the doorway towards the steps, she hissed, "We were supposed to fight together!"
"Just take Harry and go! I'll hold him off." James pressed her resisting body up one of the first steps and recoiled. In an instant, he had shut the door between them and magically locked it. Then, summoning all the courage he had, he yelled though the door, "Go!"
This sent her into a panic. She fell to the door and tried to open it, her furious attempts knocked vociferously in the next room. Pulling at the knob once and then two more times made her realize how helpless she truly was without her wand.
She shouted, "James! We were supposed to fight together!" He did not answer. She knew James couldn't win by himself. They had formed strategies, back up plans, escape routes all based on their paired training. Alone he couldn't—No, she wouldn't think of it. Lily slammed a fist into the wood of the door, her throat tight and hoarse, "JAMES!"
July 18, 1978
"James! Your mother would have you hung by your toes if she knew!"
"Alright, fine!" The young man with jet black hair sighed, got up from the table, and walked towards the kitchen. "If I don't come back in ten minutes, send the brigade."
Sirius smirked, "Ten minutes? There'll be nothing left, mate."
Lily Evans brushed her auburn hair over a shoulder as she continued to run scalding water over used dishes. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Marlene McKinnon were sitting in the dining room discussing recent happenings at the Ministry when James was instructed to assist in the kitchen. Cautiously, he poked his head into the kitchen and saw Lily bending over a sink that held a good amount of cutlery to be cleaned. He couldn't help but let his eyes dive lower, still flabbergasted since her arrival.
She heard his footsteps crossing the tile on the kitchen entry way and glared hard at a particular spoon resting beneath the surface of bubbles.
"Do you need any help in here?" James asked simply, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.
"Not really," Lily replied adding soap into the sink, "I reckon I can manage this."
"Remus told me to be a gentleman and help you get done faster so we could have tea." James said, wincing at his childlike tone.
"Remus said that?" She seemed to be adding more and more pressure to her sponge upon the crusted surface of a casserole dish.
"Mm-hum," he said softly leaning up against the counter next to her, giving up on his attempt at a civil conversation. It was obvious that Lily had been avoiding him for the past few days since her surprising onset. James was at a loss for new approaches towards her. He decided to accept her stubborn attitude and deal with it the only way he knew how: mockery.
She put down her dish and sponge, wiping her hands clean on a rag, "Well, you may tell Remus that I am perfectly capable of doing the dishes single-handedly."
Turning to leave, he coughed, smirking, "I thought you'd say that."
Appalled by his reaction of complete sarcasm, a reaction he was famous for, her boiling point hit its peak. She squared her shoulders to him, her hands in loose fists at her sides. "James," she hissed, "why do you always have to act like that?"
He asked while his eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed in her direction. "Like what?"
She turned her gaze to the soapy water and lowered her voice, "Like a child."
"A child," James repeated, "I suppose I act like a child because you insist on treating me like one, even though I have proven my maturity to you time and time again."
She rested her hands on the rims of the sink and sighed again, "I can't do this anymore."
He sighed too, and faced the wall behind her, crossing his arms over his chest.
"James," she pleaded, "couldn't we just act civil for one occasion?"
"Lily, I'm sorry. I just think it's a little awkward." He ran his hand through his hair. This conversation had gone completely awry and for his life he could not conceive a way to fix it. "I guess I'm not used to being alone with you."
"You're not used to being alone with me? We dated for over a year!"
"I didn't mean that." He paused looking towards the floor. "I just meant, that I'm not used to being alone with you since you left."
She grabbed a towel from the counter top and wiped down the edges of the sink, letting the bubbles disappear in the water. "It's been three months since we broke it off." She turned and faced the same wall he was, saying, "I thought that would have been enough time."
He knew her question was absurd. She was right to assume that he had tried to date again. She, however, did not know that every date James had been on since had all ended horribly. On one night, James had even cursed a bleeding gash on his leg to get out of a bike ride with one of Frank Longbottom's distant cousins. "It's just, being around the old crowd." He paused. "It seems totally strange to be by myself again. It's completely normal for Peter, but not for me." They both laughed.
"This is really awkward, isn't it?" she added slightly smiling.
"Yeah," he said letting his arms drop to his sides resulting in his right hand being dangerously close to her hip. He flinched. "Well," James said quickly turning around towards the sink, "let's get these dishes done before Remus questions my upbringing again."
After a few moments all the dishes were done, Lily and James returned to the dining room, sitting across from one another. The arguments had only continued during their absences.
"—there is no way that the Minister of Magic could have let the guards down at the North entrance without alerting the others." Sirius was in a heated argument with Marlene again.
"Of course I know that, but—"
"But nothing." Sirius had abandoned his dessert on the table, completely out of character. "The Minister is up to something. Everyone knows it."
"Sirius," Remus joined in, "The Minister has certain protocols that out-rank even him."
Confused, Lily whispered to James, "What are they talking about?"
Sirius, Remus, and Marlene continued their discussion, raising the volume of the room even more. James lowered his voice across the large oak table, "There was another break in at the Ministry's vaults." Lily's eyes widened. "Apparently, there were a number of documents stolen that had personal information for everyone who worked in the Muggle Department. You know, addresses, family members…"
Lily's breathing hitched thinking of all those she knew personally in the Muggle Department at the Ministry. "Death Eaters?" she asked already knowing the answer.
James nodded gravely.
Marlene let out a strangled cry of frustration. "I just don't understand how he could be that stupid!"
"Well, believe it Mar," said Sirius looking up from the table, "The Minister himself has no inclination to what is going on right underneath him. The public is no longer safe." The entire room went deathly quiet. James noticed Lily's stare was directed at her folded hands at her lap.
"So," Marlene said softly, clearing her throat, "What's next? Where do we go from here?"
James answered without hesitating, "Wait for Dumbledore."
"But Dumbledore's methods-"
"Dumbledore's methods are a hell of a lot better than individuals getting themselves killed trying to be heroes." Lily looked up at James and then to Sirius, Remus, and Marlene. They were at the top of the Order; however, without Dumbledore, not one of them felt authority to plan strikes. "Our best strategy, right now, is to wait and keep our eyes and ears open."
A few hours later Remus left, with Peter following minutes after. Sirius and Marlene stayed for another cup of tea and left together still engrossed at the Ministry's foolishness. James, as usual, kept his focus on the roaring fire in the living room as he sprawled out on the couch. Even during their final years at Hogwarts, Lily noticed how James took a liking to the fire places.
"You still can't pull yourself away," Lily said leaning on the door frame folding her arms, peering in on the young man.
"I see it still bothers you, Evans," he replied back with a smirk creeping along his lips.
She walked into the room and sat on the floor in between the fire and the sofa, "Well, I need to get to sleep sometime tonight."
"You didn't seem to care about sleep when we were dating." He chuckled as did she. "I remember when you were trying to study in a similar spot and I would keep-"
"-keep kicking my shoulder." Lily interrupted him while applying a slap to his outstretched leg in front of her.
"Ouch! I was not kicking you, they were gentle nudges." James used the toe of his shoe to nudge at Lily's arm making her whole body go askew.
"Well, we're not dating now," said Lily. The fire continued to crackle and set amazing shadows along her profile and flowing across James's body and onto the wall.
"Speaking of that," James said, attempting to sound causal, "Who do you have your eye on now?" He immediately regretted hi statement seeing her nonverbal reaction.
She blinked and got back up to her feet to leave.
"Hey, come on Lils," he whispered getting up from the couch to follow her, "I didn't mean that."
She stopped walking and turned to face him, "That is the problem James. You never mean to say or do anything. You need to learn that the things you say can upset people. You just don't think about others do you?"
James was stunned. "Where the bloody hell is this coming from?"
A few seconds passed by with the two still standing in silence.
"Lily," James said slowly, "I'm sorry." She didn't move. "Look, I was just trying to catch up with you. You know, make small talk. I wasn't trying to offend you."
She sighed heavily again, "I know, James." She turned back around, the fireplace lighting her face up, "I've just been really stressed lately, and this whole 'let's get the gang back together' thing is throwing me off."
"The 'let's get the gang back together' thing?" He asked. "Did you never want to see us again?"
"No!" She said urgently, "I just wasn't ready to see you again." His face softened. "It's just, being back here—you know, the last time I was here was when we broke up." She was staring hard into his eyes and said, "We were right here, James. We were standing just like this."
He remained quiet. He never really knew how to converse with women well.
"Jay," she whispered, "This is too much." She shifted her weight. "A part of me wants to just go back to where we left off. It would be so easy. James, I would go back to sleeping here every night, waking up to Sirius at the front door, and pretending this war wasn't going on." He wanted to take a step closer to her but didn't dare.
"I want you back here." James said quietly. "It's not the same with you gone. I know you wanted to distance yourself from us, but it doesn't seem fair to anyone."
"James, I am a target. I'm a muggleborn. I put you all at risk. You know that!"
"I know what you are!" He walked straight up to her. "Lily, you are a part of us. You're one of us. We want you here so we can protect you." He shook his head, squeezed his eyes shut briefly, and opened them, "So I can protect you." He was looking directly into her green eyes, turned a strange dark color by the firelight. "Lils, you are so strong and so smart. I know that and you know that. You just need to understand that Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I love you and can't let you leave us again." He listened to her half hazard breathing for a while waiting for her to calm down.
"It's just like back at Hogwarts," she cried, "Avery and McNair talking about mixed-blood relationships and how-"
"Stop it! Lils, we've gone over this. You're safe here; with me—with Sirius, Marlene, everyone." James was getting frustrated and out of breath. He closed the gap between them and put his arms on her waist. "I couldn't stand knowing you were in London, somewhere, unprotected. Muggles are constantly disappearing. I worried about you every day."
The night was running late and James could tell she was getting tired. Her eyes no longer held the furious rage they did earlier, they had softened. Her posture was falling more and more into his chest. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, "Before I left, Death Eaters had killed Mark Flemmings in the alleyway behind the Three Broomsticks. All he had done was pursue a muggle woman . . . It's just, not fair."
