Title: Metalsome Woman

Genre: Humor, romance

Rating: K +

Pairing: A/R, minor crossover refs

Summary: They're fraked and she isn't happy about it.


Spoilers for bits of Doctor Who, Pirates of the Caribbean, World of Warcraft, and BSG.

I must warn you, for Doctor Who, SPOILERS FOR JOURNEY"S END. It just hit Sci-fi, so I hope you'll have seen it. Just one comment, but it is massive ;;

A/N: Just...don't ask where these come from. I honestly don't know. I should be researching characters for my novel, but my brain has other plans. Fraking brain..


She was fuming. Absolutely fuming. Earth was a dump, a heaping pile of absolute junk. All that flying through space, taking hit after hit from Cylon vessels, being distanced from the very people she was trying so hard to take to a new home.

And here they were, floating above the dead colony in the darkness of the agonized stars. And it was cold. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt the coldness pressing in on her, bending her steel will.

Finally she retreated. Past outer hulls and inner doors she moved like water, seeking retreat in the rooms which were her true home within the remains of the ragtag fleet. She was a mother finally needing respite from the cold and the anguish of the children floating around her.

Feeling came to her feet as she sank down into the leather couch and heaved her first big sigh. Oh, she needed this.

"Whats the matter, sunshine?" She jumped, a smile crossing her weary face as she took in the blue-haired woman, her face young but eyes so, so old.

"Its you!"

The woman chuckled," Well yes. Can feel you all the way in my world. Fretting away my dear, so unlike the great Galactica."

Galactica smiled with her non-existent lips. Her deep blue eyes, taken quite obviously in honor of her favorite son, sparkled for a moment as her companion took a seat on the other end of the couch. Tucking her long hair behind her, she settled golden eyes on her old friend.

"Earth is, for lack of a better word, fraked. The feeling of knowing you will never have home, you of all sentient beings should feel sympathy for this situation, last Tardis of Gallifrey."

Tardis sighed, her face showing her years as her fathomless eyes closed in painful memory. For a moment, Galactica's eyes dimmed, but the Tardis smiled again at her.

"Whats really bothering you?"

"Bill Adama and Laura fraking Roslin. I love my children, Tardis. But life...I can't protect them from that. And Gods know it took them a ridiculous amount of time to say anything about being happy."

"Oh!" piped up another voice, young and fresh from the shadows of the mindscape in which the two ships sat, "You mean someone said the "L" word?"

"Bout damn time. Shit, was getting sick of that runaround, mates." Came another.

Galactica smiled, "Hello Exodar, Pearl."

Exodar, her form a Draenei with silvery-blue skin, hopped down next to Galactica and hugged her. She was the youngest among them, barely new when she crash landed on a planet during the Draenei's exodus from their home planet.

"Thats Black Pearl. Pearl just makes me sound lika shore wench." Pearl grumbled, adjusting her black skirts around her legs as she too sunk to the floor," You were gripin' bout your kids? And was there an "L" word?"

Galactica pursed her lips," She said "I love you." He said "About Time.". I love that man to the ends of the universe, but why was there no kissing after?"

"You need to meet the Doctors." Quiped Tardis.

"I thought there was really one of him, just different bodies." Said Exodar, peering around Galactica to blink at the eldest among them.

"Nope. Doctor and Doctor 2.0. He made a part of his soul human for Rose then let the rest of himself mope for weeks about how cursed he was. It's driving me insane."

"Hello, ship of a crazy pirate who hasn't had a relationship since he was 10." Muttered Pearl with a snort," The man is a complete nutcase and sentimental."

Exodar laughed darkly, drawing their attention. She pointed to herself." Um, hi, no close mortals and they crashed me. How do you crash into a freakin' planet, thats what I want to know!"

"Maybe they couldn't help it. I know my Adama has run risks with my well being, but it was rather fantastic falling into New Caprica. Laura thought it was sexy, but yet no raptor!sex."

Pearl, Exodar, and Tardis looked at Galactica in sympathy.

" They really in love?"

"Oh yes. Thanks to my new friend Basestar Ann. She's lovely, gave Laura all these visions until she realized that, hey, she bagged an Adama!"

"Sympathies. Doctor and my Rose are just the same.Both of him and her."

"You haven't heard the worst of it."

"What?" Her companions chorused.

"He's still wearing his ring and they haven't gotten married yet."

Silence.

"..."

"..."

"...you're kidding me."

"No, ladies, I'm not."

The four shared a look, then sly grins broke out on their faces almost at once.

"I have an idea."


Galactica was silent. And William Adama was cursing.

His old ship had been on the fritz all morning. First her shower system backed up, leaving him covered in soap, which resulted in his wedding band slipping off his finger and almost falling down the drain. Then the box Laura left her Head items in somehow came loose. Her hairbrush from so long ago had hit him directly in the head. He'd spared a moment to realize her real hair was still trapped in the bristles before repacking the box and setting it a little lower on the shelf.

But that hadn't been the end of it. His usual passageway's vent system then decided to sporadically turn itself on and off, making it unusable. As a result he ended up passing down by the civilian market that had been set up after New Caprica. There had been about fifteen different young jewelers hawking their wears, including one engagement/band set that had given him pause he didn't have time for.

Of course, the path he'd been forced to take also lead him by Life Station.

Something in him couldn't resist. Laura was there.

"Jack," He said in greeting to the doctor,"how is she doing?"

"Just finished her Diloxin. Her body is responding well, I think it actually did her some good to recover from the treatment. You can see her now if you'd like."

"Thank you, Jack."

He made his way over to the last bed in Life Station, it's curtain drawn in respect for it's occupant. He pushed it aside and couldn't help but feel pain at the drawn way she was lying there, eyes closed and breathing too labored for his liking.

"Laura."

Her worn face relaxed into a smile, green eyes suddenly on him and sparkling.

"Bill. I thought you'd be in CIC." She said softly.

"I tried, but Galactica seems to have a mind of her own today. And a temper." He explained about his morning, watching her face light up as she laughed at his expense. She was transformed, really. No sign of sickness resided on her face or in her movements as she reacted to his story. She could have been in remission for all he knew.

"Mnnn, well she is a she." Laura finally remarked, her giggles subdued to occasional noises in her throat.

"But she is still a ship. It's highly unlikely it purposely tried to make me loose my ring and send me to..." He trailed off, suddenly connecting the dots. He looked down at Laura, so small in the exam bed. Her eyes shone in the harsh light of Life Station. It took him a minute to see how the color looked exactly like the setting in the ring set.

"I'll be damned.." He whispered, before leaning forward to deliver a kiss to the tip of her nose before standing.

"What?" She asked, but he was already halfway out the door with one of his rare, brilliant smiles.

She turned to Cottle, who had been coming over as the pair talked, "What do you think has gotten into that man today?"

Cottle just shrugged, "How the frak should I know?" ,before continuing on.

She didn't have long to get a less sarcastic response to her question. Ten minutes later, Adama returned to his seat on the edge of her bed.

"I think you're right about Galactica being a real she." He said, and before she could answer, brought his left fist out in front of him and opened it. Laura's breath left her suddenly, as if someone had opened an airlock in her lungs.

A ring. A gold engagement ring, one green gem set in the center and surrounded by two tiny diamonds. The ring was twisted and turned around the gemstone and sat delicately in Bill's hands like some sort of fairy treasure.

"Bill..."

"I think Galactica is trying to tell me something. I know our time is, even naturally, not that long, but I want to spend it with you as my wife, fleet be damned."

"Bill, they'll think.."

"We've only not said the words until reccently. And loving you has never destroyed my objectivity except once. And then I gave up command. Laura.." He said, and as she tearfully nodded, not trusting her voice, he slipped the ring on her finger.

When he pulled back, he also removed his ring, the reminder of his failure to Carolanne, and let it drop to the floor.

Galactica hummed with life.