Rating: NC-17 for adult situations. (Sexy Scenes but also Implied rape.)

Classification: XRA (With a big portion of MT)

Author's notes: Lets say...for the sake of artistic licence...

Yes Mulders Landlord is called Mr Floyd...I may or may not have made it up! Mulders Mother is dead in this story and the timeline is significant only in the expanse of years gone by as opposed to the actual year. Also let it be known I have yet to actually see S8 & S9 (not by choice!) so I'm going to have to say nothing in those seasons happened...lets just say pretty much anything after Je Souhaite didn't happen not that there are any spoilers in this story... this information is for peace of mind only!

The story of Mulders time in captivity is a WIP and will be finished post haste! Consider it a prequel. This is a Stand Alone Fic.

In The Name Of the Father by Skinfull

Georgetown Memorial Hospital
7th December 2000
3.10 AM


The double doors didn't stand a chance as Dana Scully hit them at full force, not bothering to slow down her charge into the hospital emergency department. They smashed against the walls scraping the magnolia paint and disturbing the quiet tension in the waiting room.

"Where is he?" she asked loudly, approaching the desk and twirling round in search of someone who might help her. She slammed her hand down on the counter and glared at the attending nurse on duty. "I'm looking for Fox Mulder, he was admitted here about 2 hours ago? Where can I find him?" she bellowed without giving the nurse a chance to answer her.

"Agent Scully!" Skinner came rushing over to her, his arms outstretched as he grasped her shoulders and turned her away from the dazed nurse. "He's in surgery at the moment."

He guided her past all the waiting patients and through two sets of doors before placing her into one of the hall way plastic seats. Bending down next to her he held her hands that lay restlessly on her lap.

"What happened?" her voice was low, her fear and anger battling for supremacy. "Who found him?"

"I know as much...or as little as you do. I got here about 15 minutes ago...he was already in surgery."

"What about his admittance file? Where is it?" Her voice took on a new tone of fresh anger as her mind reeled out the possibilities.

"I've already asked for it and a nurse from the ER is bringing it down."
As if on cue a small elderly nurse approached them, the rubber soles of her shoes announcing her arrival on the otherwise silent corridor.

"Mr. Skinner?"

"Yes, thank you." He took the file she offered and his lips tightened as he passed it onto Scully. She flicked it open immediately her eyes and fingers scanning the page, soaking up the list of meds he'd been given first as if it could warm her what injuries she could expect, then reading the treatments from the hospital's Triage to the surgeon's notes. Her eyes read through the bad scribbled comments and Skinner watched as she paled visibly before him. She took a deep shaky breath almost gagging on the all too familiar taste of the hospital cleanliness, her face lowering into her hands.

"Scully? What is it?"

"His left arm is broken in two different places, at the elbow and at the wrist...probably from handcuffs." Sitting up, she glanced back at the medical file then up to Skinners concerned but expectant expression. "They'll need to be re-broken and re-set correctly. Various head injuries to the frontal left lobe...some swelling but thankfully no clots."

"There is something else isn't there..." His words hung in the air between them but she refrained from answering, not wanting to say it out loud, not wanting to make it any more real.

"Lower colon injuries due to sexual trauma." Fresh tears fell silently as the file fluttered to the floor, the pages forgotten but their words still stinging sharply.

Skinner sat next to her and placed a tentative arm around her shoulders. Without hesitation she turned into his broad chest and cried effortlessly, wetting his shirt in short sharp sobs. For a moment only her gentle crying permeated the silence, her tears falling for what she didn't know; her sobs racking her chest for what she did. She sat up running her hand over her cheeks to remove the traces of her tears as best she could.

"He's safe now," Skinner said soothingly, his words seeming like platitudes even to him.

"How did he get here?" She watched as he reached down to pick up the file and he flicked through the pages until he came to the admittance sheet.

"An anonymous call from a phone booth on Jameson Street. Ambulance picked him up there unconscious. They were given his name and exact location." "We have to get a forensic team out there," she jumped up, now with action to be taken she pushed her emotions aside and forced Agent Dana Scully to the forefront. "We have to see if-."

"Dana...I've got a team outside waiting for instructions. We'll get this bastard."

She almost smiled at his reassuring cliché, but without the desire or the energy to do so she watched as he stepped away, pulling out his phone and barked out his commands in as loud a tone as he could afford. He had taken the file with him and she wondered briefly if it was to save her from reading any more.

Beside her a door opened and a nurse in surgery scrubs walked out pulling a facemask off as the door closed behind her. She passed Scully with only a glance but sitting up, Scully watched as the door opened again this time emitting more people into the corridor. The last one to exit stopped before her and pulled his facemask under his chin.

"Ms Skinner?" he asked his eyebrows arched into his hairline.

"Dana Scully." She stood and smoothed down the front of her jumper.

"We're you operating on Fox Mulder?"

"Yes I was told to meet with a Skinner afterwards. I'm Dr. Rick Wolfe."

"AD. Skinner has just gone to make a phone call. How is Mulder?"

"We've reset his arm, the swelling on his face will go down and the scans show no real damage to his brain. The stitches to his lower colon will dissolve of their own accord but he will be in a lot of discomfort for a while."

"He's going to be okay." Her words were more of a mantra than acceptance.

"I can see a full recovery for Mr Mulder."

"Full recovery?"

"Full physical recovery. He has quite a long journey to go with no shortage of counselling. The staff psychologist will talk to him when he is more lucid."

"Of course."

"We could be looking at release in the next five to seven days."

"Thank you, Dr. Wolfe. Can I see him?"

"He will be in recovery for an hour or so, then transferred to a private room on the fourth floor. I'll leave word for them to call you when he is ready for visitors."

He offered her a small smile and stepped around her walking back to the nurses' station. Slumping back into the uncomfortable plastic she watched as Skinner approached Dr Wolfe. Their eyes locked over the surgeons shoulder and Scully could almost tell exactly what was being shared. She stood as Skinner approached and her wan smile matched his own.

"There is a forensic team out by the phone booth right now." He idly scratched his chest through the thick grey sweater searching for the right thing to say. "It sounds like Mulder is going to be okay."

"His wounds will heal sir but I'm not sure that he will ever be okay."

Georgetown Memorial hospital 10th December 2000 8.06 PM

The snow swept in with her as she walked into the relative warmth of the hospital, stomping her feet on the rubber mat by the door to loosen the flakes that clung to her boots. Weaving through the winter flu customers, she unwound her scarf from her neck as she stepped onto the elevator and pressed the fourth floor button. The impending holidays seemed to do nothing for the crowds that were hovering in the hospital corridors, and she was thankful that Mulder was to be released in the next few days.

He had spoken little since the day he woke up in the hospital; neither to her or the hospital assigned counsellor that visited him daily. His physical recovery was all but finished save for the cumbersome cast on his arm that restricted much of his movement. His strength was building up and his swelling had all but disappeared, leaving only a yellow blue bruise covering his temple and cheek to stain his paled skin.

Standing outside his room she raised her arm to push the heavy door open and stalled to take a deep breath, but before she could enter her mobile rang in her coat pocket.

"Scully."

"Agent Scully. We've got a lead. The team is leaving in half an hour. A small farm on the outskirts of the city."

"Who's taking lead?"

"Agent Brian Jones."

"Okay. Will you keep me informed?"

"Of course. How is he?"

"I'm just going in to see him now."

"Well send him my best."

"I will sir."

Slipping the phone back into her pocket, she resumed her ritual with one hand on the door and the other on her chest. She felt her lungs expand with a deep breath taking some reassurance in the reality of it all. Pushing the door open slowly she stepped in and was surprised to see him lying on his side facing the window, his broken arm cradled by his legs. The room was eerily quiet, except for the wind blowing through the Venetian blinds as the breeze swirled around the room.

She moved slowly towards the bed circling it so she could clearly see his face. She noted his closed eyes as her hand reached out to move a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes, but as her fingers touched his clammy skin he lurched, jerking away from her touch, his eyes flying open. "Mulder, it's just me."

His initial fear seemed to dissipate by the sound of her voice but he rolled away from her to lie on his back, being careful not to bang his arm off the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked walking over to close the window, trying to keep her hands from reaching out to grab him.

"Okay." His voice was raspy and tender, his eyes darting around the room never meeting hers, never staying still. She approached the bed again, clinging to the metal bars at the side to stop herself from touching him.

"Mulder-."

Her voice was so calm and placid that he immediately know she was trying to talk, talk to him about stuff he hadn't yet spoken about but as his eyes raced to meet hers, the words she was trying to say died on her lips.

"No...not now...not ever...leave it," he whispered through gritted teeth.

He turned away from her, screwing his eyes tightly shut to hide the tears that sprang up without warning. She said nothing as she sat onto the heavy leather chair by his bed, her eyes falling onto his moving chest, watching the uneven breaths fill and empty from his lungs. Soundlessly his cries seemed to fill the room with despair, but it wasn't long before his breaths evened out and she realised he was asleep. Wanting to reach out to him to touch his arm, his hand, and his head...him. But knowing it was more for her own comfort than for his, she folded her hands onto her lap and sat back into the chair letting his mere presence soothe her.

FBI Headquarters

Basement Office

20th December 2000 6.15PM

Sitting at his desk she tapped the computer keys idly, watching her report end without violation of her distracted state. The rhythm of her fingers hitting the small plastic buttons seemed to do enough to bring forth the words, leaving her enough peace to wallow in her own thoughts. The unfamiliar sound of the elevator doors made her look up, her fingers hovering above the keyboard as she awaited her visitor.
Steady footsteps made their way through the narrow hallway stopping at her door and it was with a little tension that the door was opened. She smiled mechanically at Skinner as he pushed the door further walking right up to the desk and facing her, his hands in his pockets.

With his shirt sleeves pulled up and his jacket, she imagined hanging off the back of his chair in his office, she couldn't help but see the tiredness in his eyes, hidden only by worry.

"Agent Scully. It's Friday. Why don't you get out of here?"

"I'm just finishing off this report." Skinner reached out and twisted the screen to see what she was working on.

"I'm not even going to look at this until the middle of January." She laughed at his simple admonition and nodded her head. "How is he?"

"Angry. He's very angry and very tired."

"How about the counselling?" Skinner walked around to her side of the expansive desk and leaned back against it, folding his arms across his chest.

"He's not talking. He's not talking to me, to his counsellor...to anyone."
He closed his eyes, a moment of horror flashing over his stern features.

"He's got leave until January 17th. Then pending evaluation..."

"Evaluation sir that I'm not sure he'll pass."

Not wanting to condemn the conversation any further, Skinner pushed himself off the desk and walked back to the door.

"Go home Dana. Go home and get some rest."

"You too sir."
He pushed past the door and was about to close it but turned back to her.

"If there is anything you need. Just let me know."
She nodded her thanks without speaking, concentrating on pushing another wave of unbearable emotions down, down further than before, deeper than she wanted to know about. She switched off the PC and gathered her stuff, taking a few files into her case to work on at home. She had already declined a Christmas in San Diego with her family, wanting to be near for Mulder in case he called. He had been released from the hospital seven days ago and he had yet to call, but when he did she wanted to be close by.

She shut off the light and made her way to the garage. Finding it eerily empty she hurriedly put her things on the back seat and climbed into the drivers side. Traffic was a nightmare but she didn't mind, allowing her mind to wander, letting her foot release the brake slowly from habit rather than concentration. Coming up to the lights, she paused to wait for the green signal and it was then that she saw him. Mulder sitting next to her, his face soft and smiling, his mouth moving with words and laughter but no sound emerging.

She blinked tightly but refocused back on the seat to see he was gone. She jumped at the sound of the car horn beeping loudly behind her, and forced her limbs to manoeuvre the car onto the main road. She shook her head hoping to keep awake and frowned, checking the seat beside her with a quick glance. It lay empty and accusing, mocking her double checks in the slow traffic. Suddenly from the backseat her phone started to ring, it's consistent tone demanding immediate attention. She reached behind her to grab her coat, knowing it was in the pocket and cursed herself for putting it back there in the first place.

The coat landed in a pile on the passenger seat as she fumbled for the phone, finally touching it. She pressed the call button and held it up to her ear.

"Hello?" Static rolled over the line but she could hear no sounds. "Hello, who is this?"

"Scu-." The voice was strangled and sounded like it was coming from underwater but she recognised it immediately.

"Mulder...hang on...I'm on my way."

She tossed the phone onto the other seat, her mind sharp as she turned illegally, making a u-turn on the road, ignoring the angry horn she left behind in her haste. It seemed like an age before she reached his apartment building but it didn't take her long to charge up the stairs and race to his door. Unsure whether she should pull her gun she hesitated outside, looking at the dirty old brass numbers sitting regally on the brown wooden door. Listening to the silence deride her beating heart she fumbled with the key inserting it into the lock just as a guttural scream rang from the other side.

"Mulder!" she yelled punching the door open and slamming it closed behind her.

The room was dark, with even the fish tank light switched off and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. She walked quickly into the living room finding it empty, but another scream propelled her into the bedroom. In the darkness she saw his shadow across the room huddled in the corner between the bed and the wall. Through the blinds, slots of dim light scarred the room, adding to the tension as she circled the bed to kneel down before him. His phone lay discarded on the floor beside him, and with his knees pulled up to his chest, his head was buried between his legs. He was wearing only a pair of shorts but his body was covered in a film of cold, clammy stale sweat.

"Mulder..." Her voice as low as a whisper seemed to boom around the room but he made no move. Reaching out to touch him she felt him shivering beneath the light touch of her fingers. "Mulder...look at me."

When he didn't move she pushed his head back against the wall and saw that his eyes had rolled back into his head, his shivering becoming convulsions.

"Mulder!" Louder now she spoke forcefully, pulling his legs out from below him to make him lie flat on the ground. She rolled him over onto his side, bending one of his knees and straightening the other one to get him into the full recovery position. Careful of his arm in the cast, she leaned over him and held his body as it shook violently, threatening to buck her off him but only making her hold tighter. "Hand on Mulder, I got you...just hold on."

She shook with him, her hands on his chest and resting her head on his shoulder. It was some time before the shaking subsided but she held him for a moment longer in the stillness. Sitting up, she rolled him back onto his back, but as he started to cough, dry heavy heaving, she rolled him back to his side in time for his lunch to make an appearance against his bed. Rubbing his back and making gentle soothing sounds was all she could do until his coughs dried up and nothing more came out. He rolled back of his own accord, wiping his mouth with the back of his good hand; he kept his eyes closed, throwing his arm over his face. "Mulder...get up."

Scully got off the floor and hunched by him to help him up. But he ignored her outstretched hand in favour of his independence. As he stood she rose with him, her hands poised to catch him when she was sure he would fall. He managed to make it to the bedroom door but fell against the frame his chest heaving again.

"C'mon."

Scully paid no notice to his meagre protestations and led him to the bathroom where he dove for the bath. Kneeling on the white tiles with his head ducked into the wide tub, he felt the small lumps of half digested food travel from the bottom of his stomach, forcing themselves up his throat and exploding into his mouth with a pressure he couldn't contain. He closed his eyes against the torrent of vomit unable to stop it once it had begun, until finally his stomach had disgorged itself of all its contents.

Coughing up bile and blood, he spat out the lazy remains that clung to the tacky lining of his mouth before sitting back against the doorframe. Scully was there a towel in her hand and he took it to wipe his face. She reached for the washbasin and filled a glass of water for him, which he took, still without words. Rinsing his mouth out, he spat the water into the bath before turning on the taps to empty it out. The dirty water swirled around the plug and he watched it with a fascination it didn't deserve.

"How are you feeling?"

"Empty." His eyes avoided hers and his hand fumbled with the tumbler in his lap. She knew he meant more then the lack of contents in his stomach.

"You need to rest."

She helped him get up and he was surprised at the weakness in his body, but the mere thought of how his stomach had just betrayed him made it twitch, so he pushed it away and focused on making it to the couch without falling. Scully helped him sit down and draped the heavy blanket over his shoulders. She rushed into the kitchen and retrieved a glass of water to leave on the table before him. When she returned he had slid onto the couch to lie down, huddled in a ball.

"Mulder, I'm just going to clean up a bit...I'll be right back."

Her hand squeezed his knee before she disappeared into the bedroom. He could hear her moving about and wished he had the strength to tell her to go home. Covers were being torn form his bed, and he listened to the familiar creek of his hot press opening as she searched for clean sheets. He heard running taps, the sounds dangerously close to his own liquid spray in the bath only moments before, but he managed to take a deep swallow of air to keep the remains of his stomach contents intact. He must have dozed off because suddenly she was kneeling before him, tears in her eyes as she watched him tenderly. He blinked his eyes quickly and she reached up to get rid of her own tears when she realised he had woken.

"I changed your sheets. You should get to bed."

He moaned with the sharp pain that travelled across his abdomen as he sat up and she followed him to the bedroom. The sheets had been pulled back and she left a clean pair of shorts on top. He couldn't help but smile at the gesture and sat heavily onto the cool clean sheets.

"I'll just grab you a glass of water."

When she was gone he managed to change into the shorts and was lying back on the bed when she returned. His chest felt heavy and constricted as if someone was sitting on it and every breath he forced past his lips stung all the way down to his lungs. Keeping his eyes closed he heard her place a glass on the locker beside his head and move around the room, the carpet doing little to disguise her heeled footsteps. Wanting to know what she was doing but needing to keep his eyes closed, Mulder lay still hoping she would think him asleep and leave.

For a moment he heard nothing but the telltale sound of her soft breathing. He could place her standing by his head and resisted the urge to jump at her cool fingers brushing his warm cheek.

"Mulder, I'm going down to the car to get something...I'll be back in a minute."
So she intended to stay he realised with a surprising sigh of relief. The apartment door closed with a resonate thud, filling the room with an empty silence. His breathing became laboured and he felt his stomach constricting so he sat up to get to the bathroom. He couldn't lie back and watch Scully clean up after him again. Forcing his heavy limbs to co- operate, he managed to land with his shoulder against the wall and make his way to the bathroom. The clean smell of the disinfectant Scully had used to wash out the bath still clung impugning to the air as he kept his back to the wall and shuffled to the ground.

He was in the midst of another bout of nausea when she arrived back to the apartment. Dumping her stuff on the couch, she rushed to the bathroom where his wails were coming from and leaned down next to him. He groaned in pain at the force of his queasiness and his back hitched with every heave of his stomach. Again it dried up and he coughed out the putrid remains. With a hoarse moan he rested back against the wall and took the towel she offered. Rubbing it over his whole face he avoided her concerned gaze.

"Mulder, I should take you to the doctor."

"No."
His words were final and she knew there would be no discussion. He managed to get up off the floor and reached over to switch on the shower.

"I'll clean it up Mulder, go back to bed." She rested her hand on his back, feeling it cold and clammy.

His eyes closed over for a moment trying not to feel the warm sensation of her hand on him. Stepping around her he stumbled back to the bedroom and listened to the shower running as she cleaned up his mess again. A hot wave of embarrassment washed over him at the thought so he rolled over onto his side, his broken arm bent in a cast beside him. He looked at his bruised fingers and wiggled them a bit, liking the slight niggling pain it caused in his wrist. He wasn't sure how long she had been there for, but suddenly she was standing over him a frown encased deeply on her soft features.

"Mulder, you need to take something to get your temperature down."

She held out her hand where two aspirin sat awaiting his attention. Gingerly he took them and put them in his mouth, sipping from the glass of water she held in her other hand.

"Thanks," he mumbled as his head landed back on the pillow.

"Is your stomach still queasy?"

"Mmm hmm." His eyes searched the ceiling for a familiar spot, landing on the corner over the window.

"Will you let me call a doctor?"

"No."
For a moment she watched him, unsure whether she should call anyway but decided against it. She wanted to sit by his side, watch over him but she knew he wouldn't relax until she was out of the room. She walked over to his wardrobe and fumbled in it for a pair of sweats and a jumper. He watched her take out his grey bottoms and his Nicks sweatshirt then disappear out of the room. Frowning, he looked at the door and wondered where she was going until she arrived back a moment later wearing his clothes.

"I'm going to be in the living room. Call me if you feel ill."

He said nothing but pulled his eyes away from her face and back to his corner on the ceiling. She left the room, leaving the door open slightly and it wasn't long before he heard the familiar sound of her fingers tapping the keys on her laptop. The television was down low, a mere murmur against the silence and soon he found himself drifting off.

Hands were everywhere, reaching out to him but not to help him; to touch him, stroke him, hurt him. Trying to roll away he found both his hands tied up and his feet bound to something cold and hard. A splash of water covered his face making him struggle to catch his breath but when he did he inhaled as much as he could, then pushed it past his voice box as hard and as fast as his body would allow.

His scream was alarmingly loud, startling her so much she was unsure if she had heard it or not. Jumping up she raced into his room where his body was squirming beneath the quilt, his voice murmuring words she couldn't understand. She reached out to him, her hand landing on the centre of his chest but his recoiled from her touch. "Mulder, wake up, you're dreaming!"

She called out to him but it had no affect only to disturb him further. He curled into a ball, oblivious of his arm in the cast and grabbed his head with both hands, his fingers tearing into his hair. His screams came short and sharp and it broke her heart to hear, but every time she reached out to touch him he bit out another deeper scream, shaking away from her. Soon the screams turned to sobs and his whole body moved with the effort of the tears that fell onto his clean sheets.

"Mulder..." she said softly wanting to revive him but not to touch him again.

"Leave me alone...all of you...leave me alone."

He pleaded with the ghosts that taunted him, his voice low and full of an aching need to cry but not being allowed to. Still curled up tightly he eventually cried with his whole body, his hands gripping his hair, his knees digging into his chest and his back curved over so tightly, Scully could see each single vertebra all the way down to his coccyx bone. She stood by him crying tears of her own and watching his emotions unfurl before her.

Sitting on the floor and leaning next to the bed, Scully pulled her own knees up to her body and rested her chin there, wrapping her arms around her legs in an effort to stop the pain. Her heart was bursting with the need to comfort him but she was powerless against these demons. Words escaped through his moans but still he was curled up, muffling the sounds as he rocked back and forth in a slow steady movement. "No...stop...please stop..."

Unable to take it anymore Scully turned around to face him and sat on the edge of the bed. Carefully she wrapped her arms around him and lay in a small circle around his body, her arms reaching over his head and to his back. He stiffened immediately under her touch but as she rocked with him she could feel his body relaxing under the gentle motion. She didn't make a sound for fear of breaking his reprieve, but soon his grip on his own hair loosened and tension was released as he lay motionless and silent beneath her.

They stayed like that until she felt him shiver from the cold. The sweat had dried against his skin making him colder than her. His skin was still clammy but she didn't think he'd take to kindly to a shower. Removing her body from his side she climbed off the bed and pulled the blanket up around him.

The bed rolled under her small movements and Mulder suddenly became aware of a rush of cold air around his bare back where her arm had been resting. When the blanket was tucked around him he pulled it up to his chin and closed his eyes tighter against the vision of her standing beside him. He heard her walk away and stand by the door and wanted to call out to her to stay, but his voice made no sound and his eyes remained screwed shut.

Scully walked slowly out to the living room and sat into the couch with a heavy emotional sigh. She rested back against the soft black leather, diluted with his smell and inhaled deeply. Fresh tears fell freely and she did nothing to stop their precious release. Lying down and pulling her legs up to herself, she pulled the heavy blanket around her body and cried without restraint.

From the dark confines of the bedroom, Mulder could hear her barely audible cries but nothing he could do could make him move. His body was stuck, his mind reeling with images he didn't want her to see, his heart breaking with emotions he didn't want her to feel. Pulling the blanket up over his head, Mulder muted her cries against the quilt and shook with tears of his own.

The Office Of Assistant Director Skinner

23rd December 2000 7.25 PM

"Mulder, come in." He met him at the door and held it open as Mulder walked in. Dressed casually in grey slacks and a light jumper, he had his arm in a sling with his leather jacket slung loosely over his shoulders.

"You know you're not supposed to be in until the New Year." Skinner joked trying to lighten the obvious tension that seemed to follow Mulder into the wide office.

"Yes sir I understand, but I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Do you want more time?" Skinner sat down at his desk inviting Mulder to take a seat. "Something like that." With his good hand he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a sealed white envelope. "I am here to tend my resignation."

Skinner was reaching out for the envelope that Mulder was passing to his over the expanse of his large desk, but his hand froze at Mulder's words.

"Your resignation?"

"I've thought about it for a long time...I've thought about little else," he lied. "I've made my decision."

"Mulder you've been through quite a lot in the past two months. Wouldn't you rather come back to work in the New Year and see..."

"Sir...I'm leaving. I understand the contractual needs to remain in my position for a resigned period of time, but I was hoping with the leave I have accrued, that we could come to an immediate release of my duties."

"Have you spoken to Agent Scully about this?" Skinner saw the flash in his eyes as he played his trump card.

"It is my decision to make." His voice was cold with anger.

"Mulder, when I was-."

"Save the feel good story." Mulder stood up and fixed his jacket.

"Please respect my decision and accept my resignation."

Skinner watched as he turned on a steady heel and walked out of the room into the hallway, for the last time. He ripped open the envelope and printed on the plain white paper was an official letter of resignation with Mulders broad signature at the end. With only a moment's hesitation he reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Agent Scully. Can you come up to the office for a moment?"

"Of course sir."

As he waited for her arrival he read and reread the letter before him, all the while debating whether he was doing the right thing, interfering in the personal business of his agents wasn't exactly part of his job description. Scully bustled through the door her coat and case in her hand.

"On your way home?"

"Yes sir."

"I've just had a visit from Agent Mulder."

"Mulder was here?" she glanced around the room as if she expected to see him sitting on the chair in the corner.

"He came to give me this."

Confused, she took the page he was holding out to her and with fluttering in her stomach, she looked down at the neat type spotting Mulders signature before reading the actual text. As her eyes discovered the content her frown deepened until it was a fully blown glare that she hit Skinner with.

"What's this? Where is he?"

"He just left. I know it's none of my business, but I understand he's made this decision with any discussion with you?"

"No sir he never said a word to me." Never says much to me anymore she admitted silently.

"Maybe you should talk with him before I process this."

"Yes sir, thank you."

She slipped the offending letter into her pocket and rushed out the door. The late evening traffic was light as she raced through the streets. Pulling up to his apartment, she all but abandoned her car on the path in her rush to confront him. Her fingers played with the folded page in her pocket as she drew strength from it, the strength she needed to force him to speak to her, to ignore the deadness in his eyes and urge him to reach out to her. Stepping off the elevator she saw that his apartment door was open. Her pace quickened and she raced over to see his landlord standing in the all but empty living room. "Mr Floyd?"

"I already got rid of the stuff. Aint no more left," he barked without turning round.

"Mr Floyd, it's me, Dana Scully. I'm looking for Mulder."

"Mulder? Mulder? Mulder is gone." He talked around the butt of a cigar that clung to the corner of his lips.

"Gone? Where is he gone?"

"I dunno...but he left this for you Ms Scully." He passed her an envelope and walked past her out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Holding the envelope closed in her hand she walked through the apartment staring at the spot where his dining table used to sit, at the empty space where his couch used to be and the now completely empty bedroom. All that remained was the fish tank and computer. Over at the window she checked the street for his car in a last ditch hope that he was still close by, but she saw only her own hap hazardly parked vehicle. Her finger slipped easily into the envelopes seam and she ripped it open, taking a deep breath before pulling the page out. The letter was hand written and signed at the bottom in his instantly recognisable autograph.

Scully,

It's been a journey. A journey I'll never forget, no matter how much I try. Things have happened between us that will always stay with me, but other things have happened to me that will never leave us alone. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you, for not saying goodbye but it was too painful to look at you, to see the pity, to feel the shame. I couldn't do it, I couldn't face you anymore and know that is was me who was putting that look in your eyes, stealing your smiles and drowning your laughs.

So I'm leaving. Or rather, I left. I knew Skinner would call you as soon as I left his office but it had already happened. I want you to take my fish; they might survive the move to your place and actually blossom in your care. My computer I wanted to give to the gunmen but they are out of town. I would appreciate it if you got my hard drive over to them.

Don't come looking for me. Don't try to find me. I know you are already thinking of ways to get in contact with me but I will ask only this of you. I just want to be alone.
Just remember I'll always be thinking of you Scully.
Love always,

Fox Mulder.

She read it over again letting the words sink in fully. Standing in shock she quickly reeled over the possibilities of where he might have gone, who he might have told. Before she could let her body give into the all but overwhelming need to collapse, she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled Skinners number.

"Skinner, he's gone. He must have moved out today, his apartment is cleared and emptied."

"Where has he gone?"

"I don't know sir. Did he mention anything to you?"

"No. Nothing."

"I'm going to try contact some of his friends. Would you call his mother's house for me?"

"Absolutely."

Scully walked back out to the corridor almost bumping into the landlord in her hurry.

"He told me you were going to take his fish tank. Should I get it delivered or will you take it now?"

"Did he mention to you where he was going?"

"No ma'am. Called to me this morning with a cheque for rent and costs and asked me to take all the furniture and sell it. He said the computer and fish tank were to be given to Dana Scully along with the letter. Something happened to him?"

"I don't know." "Sounds to me like he's taken off. Something must have been troubling him."

"Something..."

"So should I have it delivered ma'am?" Floyd said after a moment of awkward silence.

"Please. Thank you."

Rushing out to her car she sped onto the road, ignoring the danger of dialling and driving she rang the office of the lone gunmen. But all she got was the answering machine. Regardless, she continued her journey and soon found herself banging on the door.

"Frohicke? Byers?" she yelled loudly. "It's Scully, I need to talk to you."

Her shouts were unheard in the empty office, but when her phone rang loudly in her pocket she pounced on it.

"Hello?"

"Agent Scully, I can't seem to get an answer."

"Me neither. I think...I think he's gone. He left me a letter. Asking me not to look for him."

"Do you want to drop it?"

The static on the phone hung between them endlessly until she sighed into it.

"Sir that decision was already made by Mulder." Hanging up her phone she walked slowly back to her car, ignoring the drizzling wet rain that dampened her hair but hid her tears in a thousand raindrops.

A/NDon't worry this time we won't be looking at a yearly update like the last one! Chapter a day that's my new motto! I thought I posted this fic here before but it turned out to be a different site! So I thought I'd let it join the others here on ff.net.