Digirat Race

By Peach Flavoured Grape Juice

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or the movie Rat Race. I also do not have any self respect or dignity so flaming this story will be a big waste of your time.



The Digimon Emperor sat on his throne, swirling around a cocktail as the previous rulers of the Digiworld gathered.

"So kid, why are we here?" Puppetmon asked.

With a laugh, he stood up. "Dear friends!" He began (only to be polite, he actually didn't fancy any of them too much), "I have a proposition for you! How would you like to see the Digidestined race from one side of the Digital world to the other, and in doing so breaking their friendships and bringing a great laugh!"

A great cheer erupted from all sides of the room.

"I can accomplish that! You see, at a Digiport I chose randomly, my servants have placed a safe that contains two million Digidollars, and in mere moments, some of the Digidestined will be given matching keys which all open the safe."

Everyone loved the idea, and Ken silently congratulated himself on deciding to get the movie Rat Race out from the video store.

"What's the catch?" Devimon asked.

"Nothing! They humiliate themselves, while we watch!"

"You mean... No secrets?" Just those brats running around like morons, and we get to watch?!"

Ken nodded. "Precisely. But, of course, if you so wish, there could be a little... Betting?"

A few exited murmurs spread through the crowd. After long consideration (ok, it was only ten seconds), the bets were placed:

Who would win- Davis - 9% $38

Yolei - 0.01% $5

Kari - 20.9% $29.95

T.K. - 7% $105

Tai - 11% $209

Matt - 53% $93, 000

None of the rulers *knew* why Matt had been the most popular, or why Etemon still thought it was a joke and had bet "five bucks" on Yolei.

(Sorry Yolei fans, but I just don't like that girl!)

As a party began, Ken left the room, ready to face the Digidestined.

Wormmon scuttled along beside him. "Master, do you think it's really important to do this to them?"

Ken grinned. "No, but I want to humiliate them, and this is my best plan yet!" He laughed. "Now shut up and go away!"

Wormmon stopped following Ken, and when the boy was gone, he let out a long sigh.

"Alright Ken, 'fess up! We know it was you who attacked those towns!" Davis yelled.

You see, Ken had gone through quite a bit of trouble to attract the Digidestineds attention. Unfortunately, to him that meant getting wasted, then joyriding on that weird flying Digimon, then trashing several towns and villages by using cheap fly spray and a large candle (Kids, DO try this at home! It's fun!*snigger, snigger*).

In his opinion, it had gone quite well, until he fell off the weird flying Digimon (no, I do NOT know its name!), landed in a small town where no one had ever heard of him, and then had gotten drunk out of his mind.

He had woken up the next morning dressed up like Sophie Ellis Bextor from her music video for "Get over you", a fluro orange grass skirt, had badly done makeup on, and was holding an empty bottle of Absinthe.

But ANYWAY...

"I admit it!" Ken laughed, "But I had good reason to do it!"

"Huh?" The Digidestined chourused.

He sighed. "I have a challenge for you."

"So?" TK asked.

"And the winner will get two million digidollars."

There was a stunned silence. What a person could do with two million digidollars... The possibilities were almost endless. (A/N: Actually, they're not. I tried writing a list of 20 things you could do with it... I'm on 14.)

Davis broke the silence. "This has got to be a joke!"

Ken shook his head.

"... A trick?"

Another shake of the head. "No jokes, no tricks. Just a chance to win two million digidollars. It's your choice whether or not you accept." Of course, Ken knew they'd accept, and he also knew that if they had a few "slips" along the way, he couldn't be blamed.

The Digidestined whispered to each other, then Davis stepped forward. "Ok. We accept."

A/N: Yay, Chapter One is done! Very short, but oh well. Chapter Two will be longer, and let's just say... funnier...