Author's Notes: I do not own Once Upon A Time. I had thought about doing something like this in preparation for Shattered Sight, but practically not having Belle in Shattered Sight sealed it for me. Basically, AU very quickly written crack fic of Dark Belle. Please let me know what you think and happy reading!


Gold watched amused as the Savior and the icy queen left. He returned to his preparations for his departure from Storybrooke.

"Rumple?"

Gold looked up in surprise as Belle emerged from the back room of the shop.

"Sweetheart, you should be asleep..." he began quickly. The Snow Queen's curse must have been more powerful than he thought to overcome the sleeping potion he had given Belle.

"No, I can't sleep, Rumple. I'm finally seeing things clearly."

He tried to hold back his surprise as she brought up the fake dagger.

"Sweetheart, you're not yourself..." He fumbled.

This was it. She had figured it out. It was over.

She shook her head. "No, Rumple, don't try to stop me. I know what needs to be done now."

He held his breath.

"I want you to kill the Charmings."

He paused.

"And Regina."

He waited.

"Then Hook. Then maybe Will Scarlet."

"Will Scarlet? Who's he?," asked Gold.

"He tore up my fucking book! Now are we going to kill some people or not, Dark One?!"

She began to leave the shop.

Well, it was this or tell her about the dagger.


Gold began to wonder if it might have been a better idea to come clean as he followed Belle to the sheriff's station.

When they arrived, it seemed the Charmings were already busy. David was locked in a cell. Mary Margaret and Regina were fighting with swords of all things.

"Oh, good," said Belle. "There's three of you here. That will save time. Rumple, kill them."

"What?!," exclaimed David.

"We're a little busy, Belle!," Mary Margaret shot back as she threw Regina off her.

"Oh, you're busy?!," asked Belle. "Is there something else you'd rather be doing right now instead of talking to me?!"

"Get to the point, bookworm," Regina snarled.

"My point is that you are all horrible people!," said Belle. She looked at Regina. "You locked me up for thirty years and just expect me to forgive you because you had a shitty childhood and haven't killed anyone all week!"

Mary Margaret snickered.

"Oh, you're no better, Snow White," said Belle turning to her. "When Rumple died saving your asses, did you bother helping me off the ground or saying you were sorry? No! You just started yapping about 'happy endings.' What happy ending? Who was happy?! I know I wasn't! And then Bae wants to cross realms to find his son and you're against it, but the minute your precious offspring is at stake, we all have to come back here!"

Mary Margaret lunged towards Belle with the sword.

"Don't talk about my baby!"

A quick flick of Gold's wrist had Mary Margaret landing on her backside.

Belle loomed over Mary Margaret with the dagger.

"Speaking of your baby, Rumple was stuck with that bitch Zelena for months and none of you cared, but the minute she takes your precious baby somebody has to stop her! Like you actually care! You're having a sword fight in front of him!"

"Watch it, lady," growled David.

Belle walked over to the cell. "And you!"

There was a pause as they all waited to see what Belle would say.

"I literally do not know what your function is. You say you're sheriff then you just run around like a moron which would be fine if you didn't run into the pawn shop every five seconds with a stupid question! Don't you know we're trying to have sex?!"

Mary Margaret's face contorted. "What?"

Belle spun back around. "Sex! I'm trying to have sex with my husband and you people walk in needing a locator spell or whatever other bullshit!"

"When was that?!," Mary Margaret asked confused enough to temporarily put aside her bloodlust.

"Always!," Belle shouted.

"Eww," said Regina.

"Oh, shut up. At least he doesn't sleep in the woods like your boyfriend." Belle took a breath. "And now I know how to make it so you can never stop us again. Rumple has to kill you."

Belle paused. Her eyes shot up with a violent gleam.

"Rumple, why isn't anyone dead yet?" She waved the dagger. "I've been holding this dagger, wanting people dead and no one is dead yet! Do you want to fix that?"

Gold weighed his options at keeping the dagger lie going. He could always just kill Regina and the Charmings.

On the one hand, Belle was never going to forgive him for lying about the dagger.

On the other, she was even less likely to forgive him for letting her think she commanded him to kill the Charmings.

Gold sighed.

"That's not the real dagger."

"What? You gave me a fake dagger?! You proposed with it!"

"Ooh, you're in trouble," said David.

Gold waved his hand and David fell unconscious to the floor. He didn't need to add commentary from the peanut gallery to his litany of problems at the moment.

"I switched it from the real, then I gave you the real one on our honeymoon, then I took it back."

"Why?," Belle asked angrily.

"Because I thought I could have you and the power to cleave myself from the dagger's control so we could leave this place."

"Leave?," asked Belle. "What about your grandson, asshole?!"

"I was going to take him, too."

"You can't take my son!," Regina snapped.

"Well, you're all going to kill each other anyway, dearie," Gold shot back. "I can't leave him in a town of corpses."

He waved his hand rendering Regina and Mary Margaret unconscious. Since he was about to lose Belle anyway, he didn't see why he should have to listen to the commentary.

Gold looked back up at Belle, waiting for what she would do next.

"Okay, yeah," said Belle.

"Excuse me?," asked Gold.

"You're right. Let's blow this shithole."

Gold couldn't believe it. He would have thought even a cursed Belle would be furious with him.

He decided to prod her further.

"To leave, I have to sacrifice Hook's heart."

Belle shrugged. "Alright. I was hoping to do that anyway."

Gold frowned. "Hook's been working for me. I had him absorb the fairies into the hat you were looking for when we went to find the Snow Queen."

She waved her hand dismissively. "They were bitches anyway."

"I killed Zelena the night I proposed."

"Good."

"There was also an elderly sorcerer that went into the hat."

"Probably would have died soon anyway. Seriously, Rumple, are we going to go over every person you've ever screwed over?" She groaned and started walking out. "Come on. We have to get Henry, then pack my books. And my shoes."

"You don't care about heartlessly abandoning the town?," he asked.

"You mean the town that clearly doesn't give a damn about us? Fuck no. Let it burn."

Belle walked out.

Gold stood flabbergasted.

"Rumple! Don't make me cut out Hook's heart on my own!," she shouted back.

Gold hurried after her.

"No need, sweetheart!"

There was no way this was going to last, but he supposed he might as well see where it went.