Something Around the Corner
She Knew

Jackie let out a deep, real sigh. The kind from the place inside you that knew what pain was. Her right hand touched the cold mirror, and the skin of it tingled and stung with the memory of sharp flesh against flesh. She never regretted the gesture more then at that moment. It ate at her.

The hand fell slowly to the white porcelain of the sink, leaving her reflection open. She barely recognized the face before her; broken with panic and tear stained, add to that the slight sweat from her earlier nausea and you had an image that was nothing like what she felt inside. Inside she had found a calm place, somewhere quiet where she only shivered occasionally as the madness brushed past her, seeking her, instead of constantly like her treacherous body now displayed.

Her teeth chattered.

Alright, the strange, echo of her mind said distantly, Alright, what do I do now?

She couldn't very well go to her parents. She suppressed a laugh that quickly turned into a deep tremor through her chest and shoulders. It lasted for a long moment and then subsided. That certainly wasn't constructive at the moment…

There was the Foremans. Mrs. Foreman was a nurse, after all, and although she would be shocked and perhaps disappointed at first, she would be able to help, right? And even though she and Eric were always at each other's thoughts, they were still friends. Nonetheless, the thought of telling the people who were like her second family something so shameful frightened her.

Donna was an option, but Donna was also one of those people who either thought she had to be helpful by telling her boyfriend about it, or telling everyone about it, and seeing as Eric couldn't keep a secret from his mother to save his like, it would be right back to the last option with the discomfort of being the last one to know that they knew.

And then… there was Michael. He would have to know sooner or later. Despite the nasty breakup, he had a right to know. She tried for a moment to imagine how he would react and it made her laugh again, but she stopped before she started shaking.

Finally there was the option. The Option. It hurt to think about it. In fact, it physically hurt to think about it. Her muscles tightened painfully. It hurt mentally to think about it. It made her want to cry just thinking about it. The road without The Option would be a long one.

Nine months long, in fact.

But the road with The Option was longer, stretching on until the end of her very life, and maybe, for all she knew, maybe longer.

The Option was not and option.

She found herself suddenly in a very dark place. And somehow, somehow, it was a comfort. In this dark place, as she looked on, there was a tiny pinprick of bright, penetrating light.

She moved her hand from the sink basin to her stomach, and the panic turned to turmoil, which turned to a frenzy, which, for one brief flicker of a moment, was pure happiness.

to be continued