Unlikely Bedfellows

Author's Note: This drabble is a direct result of way too little sleep and the attempt to make a friend (Fred-the-Moose) laugh when he was in a bad mood. This is not, in any way a serious or explicit sexual encounter between these two characters – I just want that said first – and to get that statement out of the way – this is all in good humor! These are a serious of drabbles that merely made a friend laugh and me chuckle uncontrollably…and he seemed to think might be worth actually posting. So, without further ado…drum roll please…! We have…Kakashi x Pakkun-! (World's worst, silliest, lamest, crackiest pairing ever-!)

"Uh, gee boss, only if you promise me a steak!"

"Oh, Pakkun, I've got your meat right here!'

(Insert obscene gesture)

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"Ne, Boss, why are you scratching?"

"You gave me fleas, Pakkun!"

"Uhhh…those aren't fleas, boss!"

:sweatdrops:

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"Pakkun, I have a new outfit for you…"

"Uhhh…Boss, I'm not sure how practical that is…"

"Maa…It's a special covert ops outfit."

"For what, Boss?"

"Well, when you need to infiltrate French maid territory."

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"Boss, how many licks will it take to get to the center of this 'tootsie roll'? I'm tired."

"Maa…just keep going."

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"Is this what human's mean when they say doing it 'doggy-style'?" Pakkun asked.

"No." Kakashi answered one night. He looked at the pug warily.

"Sakumo never did this." Urushi stated.

"Are you a pervert?" Shiba inquired, shaking his black mohawk to and fro.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"Pervert-sensei." Guruko laughed and pawed at the ground.

"Well, Naruto is always calling you one…and I'm starting to agree with him." Pakkun declared with finality.

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"Boss, I don't think this is what they meant when they coined the term 'three dog night'…"

"Tch, Pakkun, don't question your master. And where did you put the peanut butter?"

"Bisuke is bringing it."

"I think you need to socialize with humans more, Boss."

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"Boss, I'm not wearing that."

"I'll buy you steak dinner." Kakashi wheedled.

"Five." Pakkun bargained. "This is a matter of pride. I already have one. And what would the pack say?"

"I can understand." The man nodded. "And two steaks."

"Four; and that's my final offer." Pakkun sighed. "And you can't tell them."

"Accepted." Kakashi smiled. "Did you need help getting the strap-on, on?"

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They were eating at Ichiraku's.

Jiraiya turned on the barstool towards Kakashi and waggled his eyebrows. "Ne, are those hickeys, Kakashi?" The older man gestured at the bites on the younger man's neck. He chuckled coarsely and patted the younger man on the back proudly.

Teuchi, the ramen vender, tittered as he overheard the conversation.

"Maa…" Kakashi reached up and touched the bites. "It was just Pakkun."

Jiraiya shook his head at his number-one fan in sad contemplation. "You really need to start dating Kakashi! You aren't nearly as perverted as everyone thinks you are!"

...

A/N: Please Review ^_^

Btw, No flames...Like I said, this was merely for HUMOR only, not a serious pairing in ANY way, shape or form. I'm only trying to make you laugh people. I hope you enjoyed-!

If you did...I'm sure I could drabble some more...! I am silly enough I'm sure I could come up with some more even insane "Unlikely Bedfellows" for other chapters. You're welcome to vote. Asuma x Gai? Tsunade x The Third ? Bring it, bitches! I can write it!