"... which led to my dismissal from the Anglican priesthood, due to allegations of drunkenness, blasphemy and sodomy. And violence. I am a very violent person, Harry Potter," admitted Titus Oates, a 17 century perjurer whom Harry had recently met at Oxford (because he had been kicked out of Cambridge).

"I have been known to enjoy violence on occasion, myself. Because I am a wizard, and I have special powers which means I can kill people," explained Harry.

"Very good," said Titus.

At that moment, they were interrupted by Louis XIV, who was on a short trip to the UK.

"Bonjour, mes amis," Louis said, happily. "Est-ce que vous savez ce que je suis? Je cherche le pub qui s'appelle the Turf, parce que je l'ai vu sur 'Inspector Morse' et j'ai entendu dire que c'est super bien."

"No." said Titus.

Suddenly, the wall exploded and the incredible Hulk emerged with a huge club and killed Louis, who thought it was very unfair since he had already died once before in 1715 and found it a very disagreeable experience.

"Good grief!" exclaimed Titus in surprise, dropping his glass of Pinot-Noire.

"I learned at school," said Harry thoughtfully, "that there is a subject at school called necromancy, which could bring him back to life."

"Don't bother," said Titus, pushing the dead body to one side with his foot. "Let's get down to more important matters. Do you enjoy any drunknness, blasphemy or sodomy? I am thinking of starting a society here in college."

"No," said Harry, "but I know somebody who does!"

"Because Dumbledore is gay," said the Hulk.

"Shocking, isn't it!" Titus said, raising his dark and sexy eyebrows.

"Not really," said Harry. "I knew a long time ago, when Rita Skeeter's book came out. You need to say a special enchantment on the third page of every chapter and you could find out juicy secrets of Dumbledore."

"I just love those juicy secrets," said the Hulk, as he was leaving through the way he came.

"So, Harry.. now that we are alone-" Titus began.

"I don't think so" said Harry.

The End - for now.