"Big Buddie, you must rise!" called Diddy as he sacrificed the banana.
The light shone and the wondrous ape of the ages, Donkey Kong himself arose from the banana as the lightning struck it.
DK had the mushy yellow fruit impacted between his toes.
"I am feeling smooshy, Little Buddie," observed DK.
"Hark! DK has returned!" cried Diddy. He wrote down his diary entry for the day and sealed it with a kiss.
"Dude, you are looking maxed and relaxed!" said Funky. He took of a heated gourd and ate. There was suddenly an overbearing resonance in his lower tumtum.
"DK, where were you?" snapped Cranky with his anger intensifying like a rageful papaya with a beard.
"All of Kongo Bongo has been taken over by K. Rool and his cronies!" cried Candy.
DK was shocked to here this. He gave Candy a sweet kiss and then gave Funky a radical high-five.
"What do you plan on doing, DK?" asked Diddy, his cheeks looking intense like a quarter-pounder.
"I shall liberate Kongo Bongo!" announced DK. He jumped aboard Rambi and charged over to K. Rool's dark, evil lair that smelled like pinecones and laundry detergent.
"Oh phooey!" cried K. Rool as he saw Donkey's labourious rear. "Oh phooey on my stinkin' looie!"
"Banjo-Kazooie!" roared DK. He then pulled out his Coconut Gun.
"Donkey Kong! You wouldn't dare!" cried K. Rool emotionally as he grabbed Klump and Krusha by the shoulders and granted them his holy crocodile blessing.
"I have guts and lots of 'em. Even that dope Eggman doesn't know what my heart is full of!" DK said heroically as he pulled the trigger.
All of K. Rool's limbs fell off as a result of the CG spurts. Now K. Rool had need of guardians.
"I can see with my own very eyes that DK has laid waste to our great leaduh, Krusha!" said Klump with military enthusiasm.
Krusha nodded because he a dork.
"Banana Slamma!" said DK with his bold lips in which he applied a hearty daub of balm infused with aloe.
Klump was offended by the Kongs and their perfectly smoochable lips. He took out his wallet and killed Rambi with its power.
DK mourned Rambi and then took his horn off. He placed it on his own nose and charged towards Klump and Krusha.
"I will make your blood go outside of their vessels! This is my holiest duty!" wailed DK as he rammed the twin lizards with his rhino memento.
Klump and Krusha went to jail after the fight and DK became the president of Kongo Bongo.
Cranky smiled for the first time that day. "Oh, brilliant lad, DK! I accept your wisdom as a notion!"
Diddy heard the notion and stuck it in a potion. "Now we have rescued mortality in the eyes of the banana spirits," announced the young chimp.
DK looked at the ground and saw a thing. He smiled at it and then thought about bananas.
Bluster ran in with a plasma ray. "What's this I hear about holy endeavours!" he said with his rich life.
"I'm the Dragon Warrior, Bluster!" said DK.
Bluster wept and took his two toes and ate them. He felt glorious that day. Funky patted him on the shoulder for good luck. Bluster felt like a mustache today.
And then DK did a good deed for all.
THE END
