Its been three months since the downfall of Voldemort. I lost myself somewhere along the way, It doesn't matter how many battles I've been in I never felt individual. I've drowned myself in my studies to be different. To be that smart girl who has all of her shit together. That feels like a lie now. I helped bring down the worst wizard the world has ever seen and yet I still feel like a big phony. Right now I just feel lost, I thought I wanted to be a healer but I don't. Not anymore at least. Right now I just want to be alone and take care of myself.
Harry and Ron tried to get me to enlist into the Auror program, we just caught the darkest wizard and they want to keep on doing just that. I declined, I think they can tell somethings up with me, I've been pretty indifferent lately. My parents can tell too after I got them back from Australia they always question me about what I'm planning with my future and what I'm doing. They try to make me go out with friends but mostly I go out for drinks with Rachel. She's been my best friend since childhood, she even knows I'm a witch. She doesn't know everything that happened to me, no one does, but she knows that I wake up screaming and crying any night I don't take my sleeping pills.
Mrs. Weasley tried to get me into wizard counseling since I wouldn't talk to anyone about that 3 weeks I was missing but I don't want anyone to know what happened to me, I know they'll treat me different even if they don't mean to. I live with Harry and Ron in our flat, they refuse to leave me alone after my disappearance. To this day I refuse to tell anyone why the dark lord took me, I refuse to talk about it at all.
"Hey 'mione, I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me? We're a little low on food and you know how Ron gets when I take him to the store." he cracks a grin at that and I look up from the book I was pretending to read on the couch.
"Yeah harry, sounds great, let me get dressed. I'll be out in a minute okay?" I say yes because I know he doesn't want to leave me home alone. He's probably hoping if I do the shopping with him ill pick out things I like so he can con me into eating more. I go to my room shut the door and open my closet, its pretty hot so I take out a pair of denim jeans and a white t-shirt that says Jon Bellion on the front with a bright red rose on the front. I put my converse on real quickly and the head for the front door where Harry's already waiting on me.
We apparate together and when we get to the store we're by the back exit, it's a muggle store so we have to be discrete we walk down the sidewalk and head into the front entrance. After forcing small talk and picking up numerous items we head to the check out, that's when i start seeing the black dots and things start getting blurry. Harry puts a hand on my shoulder asking if I'm okay and then I black out.
When I come to I'm in the hospital and Harry and Ron are sitting in front of me both looking weary, I'm hooked up to an IV and dressed in a gown. I'm cringing at the idea of someone changing me but I say "Harry what happened?" while trying to sit up. They both jump at the sound of my voice.
"Oh! Hermione you're awake!" he replies. And then Ron says that he's going to get the doctor. When he leaves the room Harry starts talking. "When you passed out I grabbed you and apparated to the hospital as quickly as possible."
"I passed out?" I asked confused. Sure I hadn't been the healthiest as of recently but I didn't think it was that bad.
"Yeah, the doctor wouldn't give Ron or I any details, said it was classified information, he only let us in here without being family because of my auror license."
"Oh" I said still trying to connect the dots when the doctor walks in.
"Hello Hermione, My name is Healer Grey I'm the one that took care of you when you came in." I wanted to speak to you privately if you don't mind?"
I frowned but said "of course" nodding at Harry and Ron to leave us.
" I have some shocking news, but first we found that the black out was cause by some recent stress your body has been dealing with is there any reason for that you are aware of?" She seemed like she was trying to led me to some conclusion but I had no idea what.
"No, I would think my body would be less stressed considering the victory we've just received."
She looked disappointed by my answer and frowned slightly. "Well Hermione, we did some tests when you passed out to see if we could figure out why you passed out so suddenly, and we found something."
A hundred thoughts run through my head brain tumors, cancer, death. I may having been binge watching too much greys again? "what is it? What caused it?"
"This may or may not come unexpected to you but, you're pregnant." I laughed.
"You've definitely wrong, between you and me its been a while." I said
"I'm sorry Hermione but its not a mistake" I shook my head. "No please just listen, we did a ultrasound and would estimate you are about 3-4 months along".
I start crying, 3-4 months ago I was missing... I don't even remember all of my time in captivity but I'm sure I wasn't raped I would remember that! wouldn't I? "Hermione we have some options for you but for now I think you should go home with your friends and talk over your decision with your family?"
"How soon can I file the release forms?" I say trying to calm myself down but holding my stomach tightly. It makes sense now the weight gain and the throwing up at random. I press my stomach noticing for the first time the firmness and how its just barely has a bump. That bump... is a child, and I have no idea who the father is.
"Well we were hoping you would stay a while for observation but its not necessary... I think your body just needed the rest." she replies. she has a hand on my back rubbing soothing circles into it.
"I'd much rather go home." I try for a smile but think it came off more as a grimace. "Thank you for your help Healer Grey"
"You're welcome, I'll go fetch you those forms okay?"
We get the release forms filled out and I sidelong apparate with Harry because I'm still not at full strength. We get to the flat and they both look at me expectantly, I still hadn't told them what the doctor had told me. I can already feel myself starting to cry again. "I'm pregnant."
They both look at me like I've lost it. "Hermione! you didn't even tell us you were seeing someone!" Ron says
I shook my head sadly. "I'm not and apparently I'm 3-4 months along."
Then it clicks, I see the realization on there faces. "Those bastards raped you?" Harry spoke deadly calm.
"No, I don't remember that happening at least, I don't remember everything that happened but I feel like I would remember that. Besides they were death eaters Harry, I'm disgusting to them. They would rather fuck their mothers." I snicker and I see a crack in there stony demeanors. "That said I haven't had sex in at least a year, meaning they did something to me I just don't know what."
"I don't understand why they would do something like this to you? It seems so random compared to the whole muggle destruction plan they had going." Harry Frowned thinking to himself, then he looked at me. "You know who we have to talk to don't you?"
I groaned sadly "I was hoping for at least a week without seeing him."
"With that said he was our spy on the inside maybe he heard something of this? It's definitely worth it to ask." Harry said rolling his eyes at my complaints.
"lets go now, I want to get this over with"
