Hi there! I've been reading a lot of CSAU friendship turned romance ff these past few weeks and I've been dying to write one myself since then. While studying I heard the song Why by Shawn Mendes and I immediately knew I had to do something with it. So I definitely recommend listening to it before or while reading this! I hope you enjoy this one shot, please let me know what you think!

Also, I do not own any of these characters or song lyrics for that matter.


Killian Jones had known Emma Swan for quite some time now, six years to be exact. Six years of friendship, six years of flirting, six years of actually being in love with each other but never acting on it. And they knew it, oh they knew it. They both remember the exact moment when the spark that they had always felt between them started a little flame, but they never let it burn into a fire.

David Nolan had introduced the two of them. Killian had shared a dorm with David in their college days and became best friends from the very first moment they met. A True Bromance is what they had called it. David was a criminal law major, Killian a English major with the aspiration to become a successful writer someday. During the first semester David had been paired up with Emma Swan for some project but he actually never met her, until David fell in love with Emma's roommate, a lovely girl named Mary Margaret. Feeling guilty for making Killian feel like the third wheel in their relationship, he quickly introduced him to Emma Swan. And in that moment, he knew what was in store for him.

They had been close from the moment they met, a spark clearly in the air between them, but neither of them did anything about it out of their insecurities they brought with them from their past relationships. Killian broke up with his girlfriend Milah not too long ago when he met her. The typical 'high school sweethearts but we're going to different colleges that are on the other side of the country' kind of break up. He realized that it wasn't true love what they had shared, but still he missed her and obviously still very much cared for her. Emma on the other hand had been hurt badly, her ex-boyfriend Neal tried to set her up for some crime he committed, but fortunately for her she got away with it and he went to jail instead. Both of them felt that little spark, but they also felt it was too soon. They could wait.


During the next few years that little spark had turned into a flame, not a big one, but it was there. Friday night had been date night for David and Mary Margaret and with that leaving Emma and Killian alone, Friday night had turned into date night for them as well. Well, not a real date night of course, but just two friends ordering food and watching Netflix – and maybe some cuddling once in a while, but they would never admit that to their friends. Saturday nights were spent looking for someone else to get their minds off of each other. Sunday mornings were filled with guilt and regret, sharing the bed with someone that wasn't the other and not waking up next to each other.

People had asked them, they had asked if they liked each other, wanted more with each other. Hell, their friends were even convinced that they were together, but wanted to keep it a secret for them. They always brushed it off, always responded with the same answer – "We're just friends"


Six years had gone by since the day they first met. Some things had changed, like David and Mary Margaret moving in together and becoming engaged. Like graduating college and getting their first real jobs; David a crime analyst, Mary Margaret a teacher, Emma a bonds bail woman and Killian a writer. Some things hadn't changed at all, like Killian and Emma's Friday nights, or the fact that they were still in love with each other and didn't act on it. They kept telling themselves the same thing over and over again, that they were just friends, that they'd rather have their friendship than nothing at all. They weren't willing to risk it, because what were to happen if they didn't work out? Hearts would be broken again and they would lose each other. They couldn't even handle the thought of that. So, their Friday nights stayed 'friendly date night' for them, until one night it didn't anymore.


Killian had invited Emma over to his place for their Friendly Date Night since they spent it at her apartment the week before. He had been writing all day, a deadline coming up soon and writers block hitting him hard. He had published a book already, it didn't sell that many copies and definitely didn't make it into the bestseller list, but his publisher wanted more from him. "A second chance," his publisher had said, "just like pancakes, the first one never succeeds." He had thought of it as a strange comparison, but he was just glad he got another opportunity. But he wouldn't get another one if he didn't finish this one in time for his deadline.

He had been writing about a pirate and a princess who fell in love with each other despite of her parents' disagreement, but something didn't feel right. Having a few hours left before Emma would show up, he decided to open up a new document and write something to get rid of this writers block he had been cursed with. But nothing came out.

He let his mind drift off to Emma, like it usually did. Imagining her in his kitchen, preparing a hot chocolate with cinnamon – just how she liked it – for the both of them, softly singing in the process. She always did that, whether she was alone or with him, she always sang softly while preparing her beverage. She said hot chocolate made her happy, so singing was her natural response to that. The first time he heard her sing she took his breath away; her voice was soft and sweet, and he felt like it could wrap him up in a blanket and keep him warm and happy. He still felt that way to this day. Her choice of song changed frequently, but every song being a sappy love song, which is strange in a way cause Emma Swan "doesn't do love". He liked to pretend she was singing for him, to him, about him. Deep down he knew she did. And just like that the words started flowing out of his mind onto his computer screen, his fingers typing the words into sentences and creating a story that needed to be told.

A few hours later he heard her knock on the door. He knew it was her, he could recognize that knock anywhere. He opened the front door and indeed it was her, Emma Swan. Her blonde curls framed her face, so long it almost reached her hips and so soft he could just run his hands through it and play with it for hours. She smiled at him, her pale skin covered in a light pink blush.

"Hi," she greeted him softly. Every time she saw him, she still greeted him like it was the first time they met. He thought it was adorable.

"Well, hello to you too, Swan," he said while opening the door wider and stepping aside, "do come in, milady."

She stepped inside the apartment and dropped her stuff on the floor in the small hallway. She had been here so many times, it almost felt like she belonged here instead of at her own place. If only, he thought. They walked into the living room together, Emma making a straight line to the kitchen.

"Hot chocolate?" she asked him. It was one of their Friendly Date Night traditions; Emma making hot chocolate, singing while doing it, drinking it together in silence, not a word would be spoken until their cups were empty. Then they would discuss their week, tell each other what happened at work and just talk about everything – except for their Saturday nights, cause well, that still happened as well.

"Do you even need to ask?" he replied.

She laughed softly and got to work. Hot chocolate was her specialty and ever since Killian managed to burn the chocolate – yes, she uses real chocolate with milk instead of those disgusting, artificial powders that only needed water, it should be illegal to call that hot chocolate – she never let him do it again. She started singing, as usual, and Killian just stood there, admiring her and her voice.

"I pretend that I'm not ready, why do we put each other through hell? Why can't we just get over ourselves?" Not realizing the meaning behind the lyrics she was singing, she continued; "don't wanna ask about it cause you might brush it off. I'm afraid you think it means nothing at all, I don't know why I won't admit you're all that I want."

But it didn't go unnoticed by Killian. "Those are some beautiful words you're singing there, love. Where's it from?" He asked her and took his cup from her when she offered it to him.

"Oh, it's from this guy called Shawn Mendes, I think? The kids in Mary Margaret's class are obsessed with him and basically forced her to listen to it. Then she got obsessed with him, cause according to her he's just so cute and then she made me listen to it," she explained to him while walking over to the couch and sitting down. "And I don't know why, but there's just something about this song that made me fall in love with it."

He sat down next to her, taking a sip from his cup. "Aye, I can understand. It sounds lovely, especially with your voice, Swan." His comment made her blush a little, she tried to hide it behind her cup while taking a sip. After that they sat in their usual comfortable silence.

When both cups were empty, the conversation started. Emma updated him on the bail skippers she caught this week and the bruises she got along with them. Killian then updated her on his story he was writing, although it wasn't much of an update since he had barely made progress that week. He didn't say anything about this short new story he started. He didn't want to get it published. He didn't even want her to read it to be honest.

"So, what's for dinner and Netflix tonight?" she asked him after they gave each other the update of the week. "I'm craving pizza, so please say pizza."

"Your heart's desire, Swan. That's all I want you to have." He jokingly said but meaning it at the same time. "As for Netflix, I was thinking we could watch this new show called YOU? It seems pretty good, it's about a guy who meets a girl and immediately falls in love with her, begins to stalk her and is determined make her his."

"Pizza it is!" she jumped off the couch to grab his laptop in order to order their pizza online, cause she hated to call the place – her heartbeat would increase, and she'd start stuttering and order the wrong kind of pizza and yes, ordering online is just way, way safer and easier. "Oh, that sounds disturbing, let's watch it!"

When she sat down again next to him with his laptop in her hands, he realized that he didn't close the document his story was written on and it would be the first thing on the screen, and she would actually see it. Oh no. "No, Swan, wait!" he exclaimed, a little too late, because she had already typed in his password and there it was, his story.

"God, Killian! I thought something bad was going to show up. Relax! It's just your story, not a dick pic!" she laughed.

"Aye, just my story, indeed." Maybe she didn't realize this isn't his original project, maybe she would just close the document and she would never know what it was actually about.

Unfortunately for him she didn't. "Wait a minute, 'The Spark, The Flame, The Fire'… this is not the title of your story!" she kept reading and all he wanted to do was to close the laptop and take it away from her, but he couldn't do that without hurting her. Well, this was it then.

She kept reading and reading and she couldn't stop.


The spark;

People always talk about it, parents tell their kids about it when they ask them what love is, but you rarely feel it. You know that once you do, you have found love. Some are brighter than others, depending on the person you share it with. But there's one that you can't confuse with the others, it's the one, it's the spark. The spark of true love.

I had felt some in my life, all very weak, not able to survive, doomed to extinguish. There was one that, over time, grew into a flame. It happened when I met Milah, my first love. We met in high school and had been together throughout junior and senior year. This one too was doomed to extinguish, we broke up just after graduation, both heading our different ways. The little spark still remained, fighting to stay lit, but died eventually.

Meeting David created a spark as well, a different kind of spark that no one told you about, a spark of friendship, true friendship. My best mate, my brother almost. The man who lead me to my spark, the spark. He led me to Emma Swan.

I felt it the moment I laid my eyes on her. I felt it in my fingertips when she touched my skin to shake my hand in greeting. It felt like electricity rushing through my body, every cell in my body reacting to it. Her golden locks, her green eyes staring into mine, her lips curved in a sweet smile. In that moment I knew, she's the one for me.


Emma's eyes were filled with tears, one slowly escaping and rolling down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. "You mean that?" she asked with a shaky breath.

Killian nodded, there was no way back now. "Aye, I do. Just keep on reading, love." And so, she did.


The flame;

The spark continues to grow into a flame. The flame equals the process of falling in love. The flame equals being in love. There's potential of becoming a fire, but only if the flame comes from a true love spark.

I felt it for the first time when Emma told me about the lad she shared her first flame with. The lad who tried to frame her for his actions, who didn't realize what he had, who didn't realize what he let go. Oh, how she cried that night, she had been hurt so bad. But that night I realized I was falling for her, if not had already fallen for her. As she laid in my arms that night, all I could think about was how strong she is, how brave and how sweet and caring and just… perfect. That lad was a bloody fool to let her go.

It was that night that I promised myself that I would never hurt her like he had hurt her. I would never make her feel worthless. I would never make her feel unwanted, never make her feel unloved. Even if I could only be her friend, she would always have my love

The flame keeps getting brighter and brighter. It lights up whenever she sings while preparing our hot chocolates. It lights up when she cuddles up to me while watching Netflix on Friday night. Bloody hell, it lights up every time I see her.

And still to this day, the flame remains. And still to this day, the flame is waiting to burn like a fire, because it will burn like a fire. It might even set the world on fire.

The fire;

To be (hopefully) continued


She was full on crying now, tears streaming down her face and she didn't even try to wipe them away. She closed the laptop and put it down on the table in front of the couch. She hasn't said a word yet and Killian feared the worst. He let her take her time and waited for her to say something.

"Why are we doing this to ourselves?" she cried. "Why do we put each other through hell?"

"I don't know, love. I really don't bloody know." He said softly.

She turned to him, wiping away her tears and smiling through them. Her mascara covered her cheeks, following the path that the tears took earlier. She still looked breathtakingly beautiful to him. "So, you love my singing huh?" she teased him.

He laughed at that. His hands coming up to cup her face, wiping away her tears for her. Looking her in the eye he answered with all honesty; "Aye love, I love every part of you."

"I love you too, Killian."

And with that she leaned forward, meeting his lips with hers, kissing him. Wrapping her arms around his neck at the same time he wrapped his around her waist, pulling her closer to him. What started out as a simple kiss grew into a very passionate one, his tongue meeting hers, pulling each other closer and closer until every part of their bodies were touching the other. This kiss was filled with all of their feeling that had been bottled up inside of them for six years, finally reaching the surface and bursting out. She opened up the buttons on his shirt, but Killian's hand quickly stopped her.

"Love, are you sure? We don't have to rush this if you don't want to." He asked, almost regretting it, cause oh he wanted to.

She looked him straight in the eye and whispered; "I'm a hundred percent sure, make love to me."

He didn't need to be told twice. He lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom.


Many hours later they were lying in bed, facing each other, wide smiles on their face. Killian's arm over her waist, hand on her back, softly tracing patterns on her skin. Emma's hand on his cheek and repeatedly brushing away the hair that kept falling in front of his eyes.

"So, it only took you two flames to find your fire?" she asked him, stroking his cheek softly.

"Aye, that I did. But it only took two for you as well, didn't it love?" he replied, pulling her closer to him.

She nodded and pressed a kiss to his chest. "You know what they say about first, right? It's just like pancakes, the first one never succeeds."

He started laughing, resulting in a confused look from Emma. "My publisher told me the exact same thing after my first book failed miserably." He explained.

"Speaking of your publisher, are you going to publish this story? Our story?"

"No, it was never meant for publishing."

"Then why did you write it? Did you want me to read it?" she asked.

"I was trying to continue my story of the princess and the pirate, but that bloody thing called writers block was holding me back. So, I decided to just write what was in my heart, let it out and maybe the writers block would disappear. I just wrote it for myself, I honestly didn't want you to read it, but then you had my laptop and saw it and I couldn't do anything about it anymore. But I'm glad you read it, although I was terrified of what you would think." He explained.

She nodded, telling him she understood. "Well, I thought it was beautiful. I want you to continue it, write about our fire. It would be great to show our kids someday how their parents fell in love, or how their daddy fell in love with mommy." She did not expect that those words would come out of her mouth, neither did Killian. But before anything could be said, Emma's stomach started growling.

"You hungry, love?" he laughed.

"Yeah, I just realized we didn't eat anything tonight. Could you maybe order that pizza now?" she asked him with a grin on her face.

He nodded, got up out of bed and put on his underwear. Before he left the room, he turned around and looked at her. "Your heart's desire, Swan. That's all I want you to have."

"I already have that, Killian. I love you."

"I love you too, Swan. I'll be right back."


Over the years many books of Killian had been published, many of them being part of The Pirate and The Princess series, every one of them making the best seller list. But there was one that was never published, one that was not even finished yet, one that he hopefully would never finish. They never let anyone read it, meant for just the two of them. But on the day that their fifteen-year-old son Liam asked his parent how he would know what love was, they told him and showed the book to him.

A few years later they got the same question, this time coming from their daughter Leia, who was sixteen when she asked them. They told and showed her the same thing.

How a spark would grow into a flame and eventually burn as fire.

How their spark grew into their flame, still burns and will continue to burn as their fire.


"I know a girl, she's like a curse

We want each other, no one will break first

So many nights, trying to find someone new

They don't mean nothing compared to her, and I know

When people ask about us, now, we just brush it off

I don't know why we act like it means nothing at all

I wish that I could tell you that you're all that I want, yeah

I pretend that

I'm not ready

Why do we put each other through hell?

Why can't we just get over ourselves?

And you say "hi" like

You just met me

Why do we put each other through hell?

Why can't we just get over ourselves?

Why can't we just get over ourselves?

When I hear you sing, it gets hard to breathe

Can't help but think every song's about me

And every line, every word that I write

You are the muse in the back of my mind, oh

Don't wanna ask about it 'cause you might brush it off

I'm afraid you think that it means nothing at all

I don't know why I won't admit that you're all I want"