to Aisling (allineedisabook [guest])—happy birthday! ok so first you're actually eighteen and you're an aDULT what the actual heck? I hope you have such a fantastic day celebrating! Thank you so much for the past year (has it already been a year we've been friends? how did time fly so fast?) and all the work you've put into the stories I've written (*cough* marauder AU *cough*). The hours you've spent writing comments and giving me ideas are invaluable to me and I hope you know how much I appreciate it. Putting all that aside, you're just such an awesome person. Thank you for constantly brightening my day with your sweet compliments and random stories and being someone to rant to about school. You're the best and again I hope you have such an amazing day bc you deserve it!
this story is kind of a song fic based on Photograph by Ed Sheeran. Honestly you've probably all heard it but even if you have go give it another listen while reading bc I literally listened to it on repeat for like two weeks while writing this ok
oh also make sure to pay attention to the dates at the top of each section otherwise this will get very confusing very fast
enjoy!
•
Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes,
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes,
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
•
February 3rd, 2018
That's the whole problem, Annabeth reflects.
The apartment is too big.
Empty rooms, empty walls, empty everything. Annabeth had complained—oh, she had complained so often!—that the apartment was much too small. She had never had enough room for her books on the shelves, though Percy often teased that she just had too many books. But now –
But now it seems like the entire world could fit in it.
It doesn't help that most of her things are packed tightly into cheap cardboard boxes, ready to be shipped out. They had finally, finallybought a house in a nice, suburban neighborhood a few months before, and her family is coming over in a few days to help her move.
She's excited, she really is. This is what she's been wanting—they've been wanting—for years, now. Every time she remembers that this is one of the last nights she's going to spend in this cramped, tiny little apartment, her heart rate speeds up, and she can't help but smile a little.
But right now, her head pounds with exhaustion, and she sighs, setting down the package of mail on the table. She sits at the kitchen table and rests her chin in her hands, closing her eyes for a brief moment. It isn't even the apartment, not really; it's the emptiness, the quietnessthat she can't deal with.
Her grey eyes glance fleetingly across the living room. Half the contents of the mantle have been dumped to the floor so she could sweep away the layer of dust that had accumulated; the rug is freshly vacuumed, and the scent of lemon polish hangs in the air. A half-full box sits conspicuously on the floor, knickknacks and books gently crammed inside.
She really has to stop abandoning jobs halfway through. All morning, she'd been cleaning and organizing and packing, and she was halfway through the living room before deciding she needed some fresh air and had gone to take a walk.
She lifts her head and bites her lip, standing up to get yet another cup of coffee. A corner of a book peeks out from the mountain of rubbish on the floor, catching her eye as she stands. Walking over curiously, she reaches for it, then her breath catches in excitement as she realizes what she's found.
It's their album. The old-fashioned, clunky photo album Percy always insisted on keeping. The cobalt-blue plastic cover is tearing a bit, the thick paper pages dog-eared and yellowed with age. Annabeth had laughed at him so many times as he painstakingly cut photos to fit the little plastic pockets. "It's the digital age, Perce. Haven't you ever heard of a computer?"
He had always laughed off her teasing. "I just like being able to see the pictures, Annabeth."
"You can see them on a screen, you know," she had said, fondly.
He had gestured wildly, trying to explain. "But—just being able to touch them, and see them—oh, I don't know. When I see a photo album, it's like being able to travel back in time to when the pictures were taken."
She had laughed and kissed him and the subject had been dropped. But that Christmas, Annabeth had gotten him a blue Polaroid camera that printed out pictures just the size to fit the plastic pockets of his album, and it had become a member of their little family.
Percy and Annabeth's Adventures, the album says in Annabeth's careful handwriting. On the front is a picture of them at the beach, both making funny faces.
She smiles, and opens it.
The very first picture is of Percy and her in high school, probably their junior prom. Percy's hair is slicked back, and she can't help but laugh at how much of a dork he was. He looks extremely uncomfortable in a rented tux, but with his face turned toward her, his expression is complete adoration.
She smiles, tracing her own matching grin with her finger. High-school Annabeth was wearing a long, lavender dress, but you can just see the worn grey Converse sneakers peeking out at the bottom. Annabeth laughs, recalling the fight she had had with her stepmom about wearing the sneakers.
She leans back and closes her eyes, remembering.
•
May 15th, 2009
Annabeth scowled at the homework lying in front of her. AP Calc was proving to be a major pain in the butt. She had to bring her current grade of 94 up to 96 for a 4.0 GPA, and her grade reallydid not want to budge.
She sighed, shoving the textbook off the bed and glancing at the clock. It was only 10 PM, but she decided quickly that four pages of Calc homework was enough for one night.
She could hear her younger brothers and her parents downstairs in the kitchen; maybe there would be some hot, sweet tea for her to indulge in before bed.
Getting up and stretching, she trotted downstairs, her fuzzy-socked feet sounding like cat's feet on the polished oak stairs. "Mom, do we have any more of that peach tea?" she called, rummaging through the pantry.
Her stepmother sounded tired. "I think we have some in the basket in the dining room."
"Oh yeah, thanks," Annabeth replied, grabbing a tea bag and padding to the kitchen to make herself a cup, stepping around the giant collection of Legos her younger brothers had dumped onto the floor. Shivering a bit in her pajama shorts, she put a cup of water in the microwave.
Her father, sitting at the island and working on his laptop, looked up with a weary smile. "Hey, Annabeth. Did you get your homework done?"
Annabeth nodded. "Four pages of Calc. I think I'm done for the night."
"Good job." Her father looked pleased, and Annabeth flushed with pleasure at his praise.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Matthew shouted.
"No, I will!" Bobby raced after him.
Annabeth raised her eyebrows. "Who could it be this late at night?" she wondered out loud.
Her mother finished loading dishes into the dishwasher and shrugged. "I have no idea."
Matthew ran back into the kitchen, his dark eyes twinkling. "It's for you, Annabeth," he said with an impish grin.
Annabeth's bewilderment increased, and she carefully set the spoon she was stirring her tea with in the sink. Sipping the warm, sweet liquid, she made her way to the front door.
Bobby waited, leaning against the closed door. "Are you ready?" her eight-year-old brother asked, the sparkle in his eyes matching his twins.
Annabeth shrugged, frowning at his antics. "I guess?" With that, she opened the door and gasped.
There was her best friend, Percy. He held a huge sign in his hands, lit with hundreds of fairy lights peeking through uniform holes in the edge. In big block lettering, the sign read, Will you go to prom with me?
"Oh my word!" Annabeth breathed, putting her tea on the floor and freezing with her hands over her mouth. "Percy!" she squealed, leaping out and throwing her arms around him.
The problem was that the huge, homemade sign was a bit heavy, and when Annabeth hugged him Percy fell backwards into the bushes lining the Chase's walkway, Annabeth still on top of him.
For a split second, they simply froze, tangled up in limbs and branches, Annabeth on top of the sign, on top of Percy.
Then Percy spat out a leaf, beginning to shaking with laughter. Annabeth felt a helpless giggle spurt up, and soon they were both laughing too hard to breath.
"I guess… I guess that's a yes, then?" Percy wheezed finally.
"For sure," Annabeth answered, wiping her eyes. "But I—I had no idea. I literally hung out with you all afternoon, Perce. When did you find time to make this?"
He grinned bashfully as she got up and offered him a hand. "I've been working on it for the past couple nights," he admitted. "It was almost finished, but then you said you loved sunflowers, so I got some this morning. Here." He handed her a bouquet of sunflowers and baby's breath.
Annabeth gasped, taking it. "They're my favorite flowers! Percy. You're pretty amazing, did you know that?"
He grinned, ducking his head bashfully. "Yeah, my best friend tells me that a lot. I totally deserve it, though."
Annabeth pretended to clap him on the side of his head, but it was true. He really did deserve it tonight.
•
May 24th, 2009
"Alright, Annabeth, now you move in front of Percy," Mrs. Chase instructed, holding her camera. "Okay, now… freeze… and yep, got it."
Annabeth sighed wearily. Prom was fun, but prom pictures beforehand were torture. Her feet were already hurting in the lavender heels that matched her dress, and Percy looked stiff and uncomfortable in his tux.
"Just a minute," she told him, running as fast as she was able in the heels inside the house. She pulled a pair of socks and her old, grey Converse sneakers on, standing up and sighing. Ah, that felt better.
Running back outside, she ran to Percy, hoping that her long dress would cover the fact that she was wearing her old sneakers.
Of course, she had no such luck.
"Annabeth Chase," her mother screeched. "Where are your heels?"
Annabeth groaned. "They hurt my feet too badly, Mom. Please, can I just wear these?"
"Annabeth, this is prom! You don't want to be wearing worn out sneakers, especially with the money we paid for that dress," Mrs. Chase fussed. "Now put your heels back on."
Being the stubborn person she was, Annabeth decided to push it. "Mom, I'm sorry, but I am not putting those heels back on. They're torture."
Mrs. Chase looked ready to argue, but Annabeth's father stepped up quietly. "It's alright, Helen. Let her wear what she wants."
Her stepmom sighed, looking defeated. "Okay, dear." She raised the camera to her face again. "One last picture, then you guys can go," she promised. "3…2…1… Percy, look at the camera!"
The click went off, but Percy was still gazing at Annabeth, his face adoring. "You're pretty amazing, did you know that?" he asked softly.
Annabeth grinned. "Yeah, my best friend tells me that a lot."
Finally, pictures were done, and Annabeth and Percy hopped into Percy's Prius. "Have fun, guys," Frederick Chase called, his arm around his wife as they waved.
"Thanks, Mr. Chase," Percy called. "Mrs. Chase."
They waved as they pulled out, then Annabeth collapsed into the seat. "Finally," she groaned. "I thought that would never end."
Percy grinned over at her. "Well, it did." He reached over and took her hand, looking nervous suddenly.
Annabeth took his hand and squeezed it, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach. "Ready to have some fun?"
His green eyes brightened. "Let's do this." He turned on the radio, and they sang along to whatever was on, blasting it as loud as their ears would allow.
This is going to be one of my best memories, Annabeth reflected as she glanced over at Percy. He was singing in a falsetto to the song, hamming it up and swaying as he drove. She snorted and squeezed his hand again, liking the feel of her small one covered up by his big palm.
Yeah, this would be a good night.
•
"Ugh, my feet hurt," Annabeth groaned.
Percy glanced over in surprise. "But you're wearing Converse," he pointed out, like Converse was the fixer of all wrongs.
Annabeth gazed at him witheringly. "Percy, we've been dancing for like, three hours. Don't yourfeet hurt?"
He shrugged. "Not really." He glanced around the crowded gym. Some dated song was playing through the speakers, and couples swayed in the dim lighting. They had already slow-danced numerous times; Annabeth blushed, remembering the feel of his hand on her back.
She chewed on her cookie, the first of the night; they were stale and rather tasteless. She put it down on a napkin and leaned forward suddenly in her chair. "Wanna ditch?"
Percy grinned, a sparkle in his eyes. "I thought you'd never ask."
And that was how they ended up at the park, Annabeth swinging her Converse by the laces, barefoot in the grass. Percy had taken off his jacket and was holding a Frosty from Wendy's in his hand, with his other full of his and Annabeth's fries.
Annabeth dipped her fry into the vanilla milkshake, humming quietly. "This is the best prom ever," she announced, licking a drop of cream off her pinky finger.
Percy grinned sideways at her. "This is the only prom you've ever been to, 'beth."
She ignored that fact stubbornly. "Yeah, well, it's still the best," she said firmly. They had reached a park bench, and she sat down, stretching out her feet and sighing.
The streetlamp above them gave some dim light; they were on the corner of Sixth Street, and only a few blocks from Percy's house.
Annabeth took another fry, stealing it from Percy's box and ignoring his squawk of protest. "Thanks—thanks for taking me to prom, Perce," she said shyly, not meeting his eyes. "It—it's been great. Seriously."
He smiled. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Annabeth breathed. Suddenly he was much too close, and yet much too far away. She could smell his breath—a curious mix of French fries and mint—and see his lips, which looked—wow. Very soft.
She swallowed nervously, not sure about what she was going to do. "I—I could think of one way to make it better, though," she said, trying to be light.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Percy asked, the glint in his eye reassuring her.
She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. He responded immediately, tangling his fingers in her hair and kissing her back.
When they pulled away, they were both flushed, eyes sparkling. Percy broke the silence by being, as usual, a dork. "Have you wanted to do that as long as I've wanted to do that? Because I've been wanting to do that a very long time."
Annabeth giggled, swinging her bare feet. "Yeah, I think I've been wanting to do that at least as long as you have."
Percy gazed at her with adoration written all over his face. "You're pretty amazing, did you know that?"
Annabeth grinned cheekily, taking his hand. "Yeah, I think my boyfriend will be telling me that a lot."
•
We keep this love in a photograph
We make these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still
•
Present day
Annabeth leans back in her chair, smiling at the memory of their first kiss. Everything had just snowballed from there—she and Percy had begun dating, began applying for colleges together, and most of all, just spent time together.
She glances down at the photo album in her lap again. The next few pictures are of them on dates; here was a selfie of them at their favorite hole-in-the-wall Chinese place, and here was when Percy took her rock-climbing for her 17thbirthday.
She turns the page. The next photo is of them graduating; she's kissing Percy's cheek, and he was grinning dorkily at the camera.
Annabeth again closes her eyes, thinking back to that day—that day that had changed her life.
•
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home
•
May 31st, 2010
"This is it," Annabeth breathed after they had said goodbye to their teachers and were walking to Percy's car. "We just graduated! Percy," she squealed, throwing his arms around his neck. "We've done it."
"Yeah," Percy said, kissing her hair. "We've done it."
Annabeth pulled back, excitement overtaking her. "We can spend the whole summer together, and then we'll go to Columbia together in the fall. Have you gotten your acceptance letter yet?"
Percy's face fell, bringing Annabeth's heart with it. "What's wrong?" she asked.
Percy shifted. "I… I got a letter from them. Annabeth… I didn't get it."
Annabeth felt her whole world wobble. "What?" she asked, bewildered. "Of course you got in, Percy. They'd be idiots not to accept you. Your grades aren't the best, but your swimming should more than make up for it –"
"They don't want me, Annabeth," Percy interrupted. "They don't—they don't want me," he finished, his voice trailing off. He wouldn't meet her gaze, instead looking at something in the distance, green eyes squinting in the bright sunlight.
Annabeth was furious, but she took a deep breath. "Then… then we'll just have to figure out something else," she promised. "And we will figure this out, Percy. We will."
Percy opened the door for her, and she got in and waited for him to get to the driver seat. "Annabeth… I didn't want to tell you, because you were so excited about graduation and everything, but –"
"But what?" Annabeth asked, dread seeping in. Nothing could be worse than what he already told her, right?
Wrong.
Percy took a deep breath as he started the car. "With Gabe –" Annabeth winced at the mention of his late abusive stepfather. He took another breath. "With Gabe dying just a few months ago, and all the gambling debts he left behind… all my savings are going to pay his debts. I can't afford college, Annabeth."
"So—go to a community college, and work up your savings again, and then you can transfer to NYU," Annabeth argued, not understanding what he was telling her. "They already accepted you."
"But it's not a full ride, 'beth," Percy said sadly. "And Gabe's debts are far worse than me or my mom had thought. The only option right now is… is the military."
"What?" Annabeth gasped. "No. No, Percy. We're going to school together, remember? We're going to college in the city and getting our own apartment and—you can't enroll in the military. Percy, you're not a soldier!" She knew she was being selfish—unreasonably so—but they had had so many plans, so many dreams. This day was supposed to be the start of their new life together—and now Percy was throwing it away?
Percy looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Annabeth. I really am. I want to go to NYU as much as you want me to. It's just—it can't happen right now."
Annabeth felt a lump building up in her throat. They were nearing her house now, and she wanted, more than anything, to escape the confines of the car and just run. Run away from the new events which were now reality.
Percy pulled up to her house, and he started to unbuckle, but Annabeth stopped him. "Don't get out. Don't. I'm sorry, I just need –" she stopped, unable to continue without crying. "When are you leaving?" she managed.
Percy bit his lip. "Um… Tuesday. I'll be training all summer, and then leave for a tour in the fall. I'm sorry it's so sudden, Annabeth, I really am. I didn't even know until a few weeks ago."
"And you just—what, forgotto tell me?" Annabeth burst out, tears beginning to roll down her face.
"I didn't want to spoil your last few weeks of high school. I got the news right before finals, and you were so stressed about them, I just –" he stopped, seemingly unable to figure out what to say. "I'm sorry."
She nodded jerkily, brushing away her tears and slamming the car door, her too-big graduation robe almost getting caught in the door. She stormed inside, slamming the front door and running up to her room.
"Annabeth, what's wrong?" she heard her stepmom ask concernedly from the kitchen. Her parents and the twins had just gotten home, traveling in a separate car from Annabeth's graduation.
Annabeth knew she couldn't talk to anyone right now. She bolted upstairs, ignoring her stepmom's concerned calls.
She ripped off her robe and the square cap, tossing them on the ground haphazardly, before she fell onto her bed, trying to stifle the sobs. Everything she had dreamed was falling apart. All of her dreams for the future included him, and now…
She had a good, long cry curled up on her bed, shoulders shaking and nose running. Within only a few moments, she had fallen asleep.
•
"Annabeth? Annabeth –"
Annabeth blinked the sleep out of her eyes, sitting up. Everything came rushing back to her—graduation, Percy's announcements, her storming away.
She went to her bedroom door, unlocking it slowly. There was Percy, his shaggy hair a disheveled mess and his green eyes bloodshot, like he had been crying. He was wearing his favorite blue hoodie and the old, ripped jeans that Annabeth liked so much on him.
She met his eyes, and no words were necessary. They both moved towards each other, Annabeth falling into his arms. He hugged her tightly, rocking back and forth.
"I'm sorry," she finally managed, pulling away. "I just –"
"I know," Percy said softly, embracing her again. "I know."
They sat down on her bed, Annabeth twisting one of her short curls behind her ears. Percy broke the silence by pulling a tiny piece of paper from his hoodie pocket.
"What's that?" Annabeth asked, interested despite herself.
Percy gave her a little half-smile and handed it to her. It was a picture she had taken of him. He was in the driver's seat of his car, grinning dorkily at the camera. It was one of her favorite pictures of him, and Percy knew that—but for some reason, he had printed it far too small. The picture was tiny. Annabeth looked at him questioningly.
He rolled off the bed and strode to her dresser, opening her jewelry box and gently taking something out before ambling back to her bed. "For this," he explained, handing her the necklace he had gotten her for her 16thbirthday, before they even started dating.
Annabeth took it, tears springing to her eyes again. She wore the necklace often; it was a small, silver, heart-shaped locket with her name engraved on the back. But even though she had had it for almost two years, she had never put a picture in it.
That was about to change.
She grabbed some scissors from her desk and carefully measured the little photo, getting it just right. Together, they cut the photo into a heart, just smaller than the necklace, and pasted it inside.
"Perfect," Percy said, grinning, as they looked at the final product.
"Yeah," Annabeth had to admit. "It's perfect." She turned around, lifting her short blond curls from her neck. "Can you fasten it for me?"
He scooted behind her and fastened the necklace, letting her curls fall back into place. She touched the necklace, the long chain letting her feel it brush against her chest. "Thank you, Percy," she managed.
He smiled, brushing her curls out of her eyes before kissing her. Suddenly, Annabeth had an idea.
"Where're you going?" Percy asked, his voice amused, as she shot out of the room.
"Be right back!" she yelled, running to her parent's room. On her father's dresser there was a recently printed photo from her senior pictures, taken only a month before; she grabbed the frame and opened it, taking out the picture. She took a second to admire it; her parents had splurged and hired a photographer for her senior pictures. She was wearing her favorite blue dress, the short one that twirled when she spun around. In the picture, she was leaning against a brick wall, her short curls held back with a blue headband, bringing out the blue specks in her grey eyes.
Annabeth smiled. She had actually worn makeup for the pictures, and the rosy lip-gloss had matched the color of her cheeks. Her smile was real and genuine; the photograph had said something funny, and she was laughing at it.
It was one of her favorite pictures of herself, and she knew that it was perfect for Percy to remember her by.
She ran back to her room, photo in hand. "Here," she said breathlessly, flopping back onto the bed and handing Percy the photo. "This is for you."
She watched Percy as he took the photo; his face changed as he studied it. A small smile slipped onto his face, and he traced her frozen laugh with his fingertips.
"Thanks, 'beth," he said softly, slipping the picture into the pocket of his worn jeans.
Annabeth smiled, cuddling up against him. "You're welcome," she murmured. "Now, you want to watch a movie?"
His grin was like sunshine, she thought. "Yeah, definitely."
And so they watched a movie, fingers tangled together, Annabeth pressed against his chest comfortably, his breath tickling her neck.
Halfway through the movie, she heard snoring, and looked back. Percy had fallen asleep, his head resting against the giant panda bear they had gotten at the fair last summer. She snorted, and slowly reached for her phone. Quickly, Annabeth snapped a photo, her grinning at the camera with Percy snoring in the background.
She brought the phone down and looked at the picture, smiling. If she had even wanted a moment to last forever, this was it.
This was definitely it.
•
Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of you
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die
•
Present day
Annabeth chuckles, fingers flitting over the photo. Percy drooling on her panda bear while she grins cheekily at the camera is definitely one of her favorite pictures.
She flips the page deliberately. The next one is a photo of the two of them after Percy's summer of training. They were at the airport; Percy in his military uniform, Annabeth looking exhausted and teary, but both smiling bravely at the camera.
She smiles tiredly. That had been both one of the worst days and one of the best days of her life.
•
April 12th, 2011
"Do you see him?" Annabeth asked, craning her neck over the crowd. "Dad, do you see him?"
Mr. Chase chuckled. "No, honey. But he should be here soon."
Annabeth nodded, not even fully listening as she looked for her boyfriend in the crowded airport lobby. A summer of training had turned into almost a year. She had been unreasonably worried about having a long distance relationship with him, but it had done nothing but strengthen it.
They had Skyped and texted constantly; she was busy with her Architecture major at Columbia, and he was obviously busy with training, but they had made time to see each other. She had visited him during her break over the holidays; met his friends and teachers and trainers, saw where he slept and ate and lived, every day.
They had made it work.
And now the love of her life was being deployed for a year in Afghanistan.
Twelve months.
Already it felt like it would be a lifetime.
She stood on her tiptoes, tightening her ponytail. She had been growing her hair out since she graduated, and already it was stretching down the top of her back. Percy had loved playing with it; at Christmas, he had learned how to French-braid, and had tamed her curls with a long plait.
Normally, Annabeth hated when people played with her hair. It was annoying, and plus it made her curls a frizzy messed that couldn't be fixed until she took another shower.
But for some reason, she lovedit when Percy played with her hair.
Distracted by her thoughts, she jumped and let out a little squeal when a pair of arms circled her from behind. "Guess who," an unmistakable voice asked, breath tickling her ear.
"Percy," she cried, spinning around and hugging him. "Oh, I missed you so much," she breathed as she held him.
"Can't… breathe," Percy gasped.
She loosened her hold on him, letting a peal of laughter into the air. "All that training, and all it takes to bring you down is me hugging you?" she teased.
Percy looked at her adoringly. "I missed you," he murmured. "I missed you so much, Annabeth." He kissed her hard, and Annabeth melted.
How was she going to live without him for another year?
"I wish I could spend more time with you," he breathed as they pulled back. "But I have to go."
Annabeth felt her heart drop. "Yeah. Yeah, I know," she said, choking back a sob. She glanced up, only to see that her father had disappeared from the bench he had been sitting on.
Her brow wrinkled. What was going on?
"I love you so much," Percy said quietly.
"I love you, too," she answered, smiling and holding his hand.
He got down on one knee, and time seemed to freeze. Wait, what? And then reality hit her, and she gasped, hands flying up to cover her mouth.
"I know—I know I'm leaving. For a year. And I know we're young, and the future's uncertain, and we're fighting some pretty strong odds here—but Annabeth, I want to be with you the rest of my life," he said, and his voice was loud and strong and sure.
People were stopping to listen, some awing, others murmuring sadly, pointing at Percy's uniform. But all Annabeth could focus on was his face.
"Like, seriously. I love you. So much. I honestly don't know if I could live without you," he continued, and suddenly there was a little red box in his hand. "So… will you marry me?"
Annabeth didn't even have to think. "Yes!" she exclaimed, pulling him to his feet. "Percy, yes."
He gently slid the ring onto her left ring finger, and she kissed him.
As they pulled apart, she was suddenly aware of clapping. The large crowd had stopped bustling, instead standing around them, clapping and cheering. Some people were even whistling.
Annabeth blushed rosily, holding Percy's hand tightly. He grinned down at her, like he didn't even notice the hundreds of people watching them.
Suddenly, the crackly voice sounded over the loudspeakers. "Charter for Infantry 31 is boarding now. If all military personal will go to gate E –"
"I have to go," Percy murmured.
"I know," Annabeth said, feeling the lump in her throat reappear.
He bumped his head forward, so their foreheads touched. Annabeth closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him, trying to remember every single detail of his face, of his voice, of his smell, of his movements.
"I love you," he said softly.
She choked back a sob. "I—I love you too."
His voice was just a whisper, brushing her ear. "Wait for me to come home."
Eyes still closed, she felt his lips press against her forehead, and suddenly he was gone, his absence an overwhelming gap in her heart.
He was gone.
Her dad came up behind her, hand on her shoulder comfortingly. She put her hand up, touching it, but did nothing to replace the empty ache she already felt, mixed with the tears running down her cheeks.
Only twelve months to go.
•
We keep this love in a photograph
We make these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still
•
Present day
That had been the longest year of her life, Annabeth reflects as she gazes at the picture. They had been apart before; they had spent more time apart while dating than they had been together. But with so little contact, and so much waiting—the empty, almost intolerable, waiting—the days and months had stretched to a point where Annabeth almost thought she was living in a time loop of worry and missing him.
She chuckles bitterly as she turned the page. Annabeth of then had no idea what waiting really felt like.
The next picture is of them, again at the airport, taken almost exactly twelve months after the first one. This time their smiles were real, genuine; Percy was hugging Annabeth from behind, and she was looking up at him, delight and love and reliefwritten all over their expressions.
•
May 3rd, 2012
"When will he be here?" Annabeth asked impatiently. Like a year before, she was craning her neck to see over the crowd of people at the airport.
Her father looked up from his phone, his expression mildly amused. "Patience really isn't your strongest virtue, is it?"
Annabeth huffed, tapping her foot. "I'm just—excited, Dad."
He chucked, going back to his work. "I'm sure you are. I'm pretty excited to see my future son-in-law, too, believe it or not."
Annabeth stuck her tongue out at him; as she was turning her eyes back to the exit gates, she caught sight of a familiar grin. Her knees suddenly turned to jelly with pent-up adrenaline and relief coursing through her.
She dropped her purse and sunglasses and began jogging, then sprinting, towards him; he saw her, that beautiful smile spreading across his face, and he, too, dropped his bags and began running.
Faster, and faster, and yet time seemed to slow. She saw him mouth her name, but couldn't hear past the roaring in her ears. Closer, and closer, and then—
"Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth," he said as he reached her, like a prayer on his lips. She kissed him, tasting the salty tears running down both their cheeks.
"I think I missed you," she teased softly as he pulled back, arms around his neck. She never wanted to let him go, not now, not ever again.
"Hmm, really?" he hummed. They bumped noses, and she giggled. "Because, wow, I missed you."
"Yeah?" she breathed, kissing him again and again, re-memorizing the little details of his face that she had forgotten—the scar on his chin, his long, thick black eyelashes that would have made a Maybelline model jealous, the little blue specks in his green eyes—everything she had forgotten about him in the eternally long year they had been apart.
He seemed to be doing the same thing, drinking the sight of her in like a man dying of thirst. Then his eyes flitted down to her neck, where her locket lay against her collarbone. He opened it, and Annabeth watched as he smiled, looking down at the picture of himself in high school.
"Do you still have mine?" she murmured. She knew it would have been hard to hold onto a little piece of paper like that, but still –
He reached into the chest pocket of his uniform and took it out, handing it to her. She took it, smiling; the picture was dog-eared and worn, like it had been studied more times than she could count. It felt like an eternity ago that she had given it to him.
Annabeth handed it back, and he tucked it into his pocket again. She threw her arms around him. "Don't ever leave me again," she said firmly, holding him so tightly she thought her arms would fall off.
Percy chuckled as he buried his face into her long curls. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on it."
•
Present day
Annabeth grins, remembering. Although they had been engaged since Annabeth was only nineteen, and Percy twenty, they had had a long engagement; over three years. After Percy got home from Afghanistan, they had just spent time together; relearning each other, growing up a bit. Annabeth graduated at the top of her class at Columbia, and with both of them working, they managed to save up enough money to go apartment shopping together.
Finally, two years after he got back and three years after they got engaged, the date for the wedding was set.
Annabeth turns the page. A real smile flashes across her face at the sight; it's the photo of them at their wedding.
Now, that had been a day to remember.
•
June 21st, 2014
"So. We're married," Annabeth announced.
Percy looked amused. "You think?" he asked dryly.
Annabeth grinned and kissed him, feeling his smile under her lips. "But. Like. We're actually married, Percy," she told him bossily.
Percy spun her gently. "Well, seeing how we're dancing at ourwedding—I'd say, yeah. We're actuallymarried."
Annabeth rolled her eyes, picking up the skirt of her lacy wedding dress as she swayed. The music played softly in the background, and she vaguely sensed the rest of the guests, watching and talking quietly as the bride and groom danced for the first time together.
But everything else seemed a million miles away compared to Percy's smile.
She leaned against his chest, hearing his heartbeat thudding steadily against her ear. He was wearing his uniform; Annabeth's grandfather had died in Vietnam, and they had thought it would be way to honor his sacrifice, not to mention Percy's time in the service.
Annabeth breathed in his familiar scent, a mix of Old Spice and his favorite brand of laundry detergent and chlorine from when he swam at the local pool, and a wave of happiness rushed over her. He was hers. They were married, until death did them part. They could move into their new, larger apartment together, and maybe eventually buy a house. They could get a dog, and maybe have kids of their own someday, and sit on the porch drinking coffee in the mornings, and grow oldtogether.
It was overwhelming, in every way imaginable.
She looked up, the song beginning its last chorus as she met his gaze. "I love you."
He smiled, and Annabeth thought it looked like sunshine. "I know."
•
And if you hurt me
Well that's okay, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
Wait for me to come home
•
January 17th, 2016
The drive was completely silent.
Annabeth was just drained, too exhausted, to say anything. She had cried all her tears out, before, anyway; now, her eyes felt dry, almost numb.
Percy looked handsome as always in his military uniform. His bags were in the trunk, neatly packed.
Annabeth laid her hand on her stomach, finally breaking the silence. "It's kicking."
Even in weariness, Percy's face lit up as he stretched his arm across the consul. "Can I feel?" he asked, with the excitement of a two-year-old.
Annabeth let a real smile slip onto her face, the first one in a long time, as the warm weight of his hand touched her swollen belly. At almost six months along, their baby would be born in only three more months, if everything went as planned.
Their baby.
Percy wouldn't meet the little Jackson until the baby was almost nine months old.
Annabeth blinked back the sudden tears, refusing to let the storm rage. She'd been crying for almost the past 24 hours non-stop.
Smile,she told herself. Be brave. You've done this before.
But we weren't married then, a little voice protested. I wasn't—we weren't about to be parents.
Percy moved his hand off her stomach and tool her hand instead. "You okay?" he asked softly, glancing over.
Annabeth swallowed and squeezed his hand. "Yeah. I—I'm good."
He squeezed back. "We're going to be okay," he promised. "I'll be back in twelve months, 'beth."
"I just wish—I wish you had a choice," she burst out. "Tell them—tell them anything. Tell them you're going to be a father. Tell them –" her voice broke. "Tell them your wife needsyou."
A single tear ran down the expanse of his cheek, and something inside Annabeth broke. How much did he hide, every day, so she didn't have to worry about him? How much was he hurting right now?
She squeezed his hand again, harder, fiercely. "We're going to be okay," she said, biting back her true thoughts.
He nodded, brushing away his tears away like he was annoyed they were there.
They were pulling into the airport parking lot; he turned off the car and ran around the front of it, opening her door for her. She had to laugh at his antics, and he kissed her nose.
Percy grabbed his bags from the trunk and handed her the keys. She pocketed them, and together they walked up long sidewalk.
Already, other men in uniform were milling around, and a few people she recognized as friends of Percy's waved to them. He nodded at them, but his gaze was on her.
Finally, they stopped walking. He set his bags down, and she breathed heavily, out of breath even from the short walk. Being pregnant wasseriouslya pain in the butt.
Percy took her face in his hands, and Annabeth kissed him like she wouldn't see him for months.
(Oh, wait. She wouldn't.)
It reminded her faintly of when Percy proposed, right before he left for his first tour; people were staring, and some were pointing at his uniform, at her rounded abdomen, and whispering. A mother holding a baby looked about to cry as she watched them; an older couple looked sympathetic, like they had been through the same situation.
She smiled, briefly remembering when he proposed. It seemed like a lifetime ago; they were just kids in love, and they had their whole lives planned out ahead of them.
Neither of them had considered what could happen in the future.
"I love you," he whispered. Annabeth felt her heart constrict. How many times had they said that, right before the universe tore them apart again?
"I love you, too," she said, pressing her forehead against his.
The awful, familiar static voice on the loudspeakers broke them apart, reminding Percy to go to his gate.
She only held him tighter. It seemed like the years they had had together were simply mocking her, all of their memories flooding to the surface. Why hadn't she taken advantage of them? Why hadn't she treasured the little moments more?
"Wait me to come home," he breathed, before kissing her one last time.
"Good-bye," Annabeth whispered, and then he was gone.
She watched as he picked up his bags and started towards the gate, allowing only a few tears to run down her cheeks; it felt like letting only a few drops fall from a flooded dam, but she managed.
Just as he got to the gate, Percy turned around, waving. She waved back, memorizing the shape of his dorky grin and holding onto the picture in her mind.
Wait for me to come home.
•
And you can fit me inside the necklace
You got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul
•
Present day
Annabeth takes a deep breath, leaning back in her chair. She fingers the locket around her neck; it's tarnished from that old habit of hers. Opening it, she smiles at the faded photo of teenage Percy, grinning like the loveable idiot he was. The picture is completely engrained in her mind. If the locket were to ever be lost or the picture ripped, she would easily be able to remember every tiny, miniscule detail of his beaming face.
She closes the locket again with a tiny click and turns back to the photo album.
The next page is her, in the hospital, looking like death with a baby in her arms.
She bites her lip, running her fingers over the photo.
•
April 2nd, 2017
Annabeth felt like she'd never not be tired again.
Every single bone her body was aching from hours of contractions. She felt gross and in desperate need of a shower—she could feelthe mascara dribbling down her cheeks, mixed with rivulets of sweat and tears—and most of all, she just really,reallywanted a nap.
But all of that paled in comparison to the tiny, perfect bundle in her arms.
She glanced down, a weary smile slipping back onto her face. Her daughter—her daughter—was sleeping; the poor little thing was probably almost as worn out of her mama.
"Being born is hard work for both of us," she murmured, her fingers flitting over the little face. Perfect bright eyes, perfect adorable ears, perfect tiny nose, and perfect dainty mouth—her baby, her daughter, was the most amazing little thing she had ever seen.
She leaned back, closing her eyes in weariness. Now, if only Percy was there. It would make this day—this day of all days—the best day of her life.
Her stepmom had driven her to the hospital the night before after the contractions had gotten to hard and too close together to be mistaken. Baby Jackson had come almost two weeks early, but the doctors said she was fine.
Hours after hour, Annabeth had cried, screamed, cursed, and prayed in stages as pain racked her body. Her stepmom had held her hand as nurses bustled around during contractions, but while her help was appreciated, all Annabeth could think was that she wasn't Percy.
She had called the DSN phone center nearest to where he was stationed on the ride to the hospital, but he hadn't called back yet. She wasn't even sure if he was able to, but—
It hurt.It hurt that her husband wasn't able to be there for the birth of their first child, wasn't able to call whenever Annabeth needed to hear his voice, wasn't able to hold her hand and smooth her forehead and comfort her.
It was selfish, but.
Annabeth needed him.
Suddenly her cell phone rang from the table next to her bed. Annabeth didn't want to move, for fear of waking up the tiny bundle in her arms. She had no choice, though; her stepmother was out, having gone home to change, shower, and pick up her younger brothers so they could meet their niece.
So she wiggled awkwardly to the edge of the bed and grabbed the phone. It was an unknown number, but her exhausted brain argued that she should pick up, anyway.
So she did. "Hello?"
There was a pause, then a familiar, beautiful voice spoke hesitantly over the slightly crackly line. "Annabeth?"
She sobbed with relief. "Percy. Percy."
"Annabeth," he murmured. "How are you? How's the baby?"
She choked back a sob, the love in his voice overwhelming. "I'm—I'm fine. The baby's good, too. Healthy and beautiful and perfect. Percy, she's perfect."
"She?" Percy breathed, and Annabeth felt a piece of her click back into place.
"She," she confirmed. "You have a beautiful baby daughter."
"Annabeth," he said, as though unable to say anything else, and he sounded so amazed and awed she had to laugh. "Have—have you named her yet?" he asked after a pause, and his voice sounded suspiciously like he was holding back tears.
Annabeth had to blink them back herself. "No," she said, her voice wobbly. "I was waiting for you."
He laughed, and even through the static, it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. "I—I can't believe it," he whispered. Annabeth could hear him crying now. "What should we name our daughter, 'beth?"
She sniffled, pushing past the happy lump of tears in her throat. "Well, I—I honestly haven't thought about it a whole lot. It always just seemed so far away."
"Yeah," he said with a teary chuckle. "We really should have talked about it before, but—um."
"Yes, Percy?" she asked teasingly.
She could hear his bashful grin through the phone. "Well, I've always liked the name Sofia."
She smiled softly. "Yeah, that sounds good. What about her middle name?"
He sounded a bit panicked. "Wait, we have to think of a middle name, too?"
Annabeth chuckled. "Yes, doofus. Do you have another name you like?"
"Honestly, no," he confessed. "Every time I pictured naming our baby if it was a girl, I just thought Sofia and then I was done."
She rolled her eyes fondly. "All right, then. It's a good thing I thought about a middle name, huh?"
"I'm surprised you didn't have the whole name just picked out already," he said dryly.
Annabeth bit her lip. "I wanted you to name her, Perce. I mean, the first name. And I'll pick the middle name."
"Okay then, by all means, go ahead," he said teasingly.
"Oh shush," she said absentmindedly. "I was thinking that Jane was a nice middle name."
"That wouldn't be after Jane Drew, the architect, would it?" he asked, and she could hear his teasing smirk.
"Well, maybe, but also after Jane Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, and the author, Jane Austen," she admitted.
Percy's laugh was like sunshine, she thought. "Whatever you say, boss. Sofia Jane Jackson sounds good to me."
She smiled down at the sleeping newborn in her arms. "Yeah? Does that sound good to you, Sofia?" she asked softly, testing out the name.
The baby made a noise in her sleep, before her big blue eyes blinked open sleepily.
"Oh! She's awake, Percy," Annabeth said excitedly.
"She is?" Percy asked eagerly. "What color are her eyes?"
"Well, they're a cloudy-colored blue, but most Caucasian babies have blue eyes when they're born, so that doesn't mean she'll keep them," Annabeth said, rattling off facts absentmindedly. "In fact, her hair is blonde, so maybe she'll have your eyes."
"Her hair is blond?" he replied enthusiastically. "Is it curly?"
"I don't know," Annabeth admitted. "She's mostly bald. And red. Very red. But that should fade in a little bit, won't it, Sofia?" she asked softly. The baby yawned, her tiny mouth opening wide. "Percy, she just yawned," Annabeth squealed quietly.
At the noise, little Sofia began crying. Annabeth knew she was probably hungry, and from the new-mother lessons she had begun taking at the hospital a few months ago, she knew how to let the baby latch on. First, though, she held the phone down so Percy could hear the lusty little cries.
"That's our daughter," Percy breathed after Annabeth had begun, with a little trouble, feeding the baby. "Annabeth, that's our daughter. I just wish –" he broke off.
"You wish what, Perce?" Annabeth asked, a bit distracted as she gazed at the baby's fuzzy eyelashes and non-existent eyebrows.
"I wish I could hold her," he said quietly. "Everything in me screams to be there right now, and—and I can't."
Annabeth felt her heart constrict. "I know," she breathed. "Percy, I know. And you will. I'll send you pictures in the mail soon, and you're going to be home in nine months. We—we can do this."
"Okay," he murmured. "Okay. We will." She heard someone shout at his end of the line, and he heaved a sigh. "My time's almost up."
She exhaled. The soldiers were only given fifteen-minute calls back home. "It's—it's okay," she managed. "I love you. And Sofia loves her daddy too, don't you?" she asked the baby. The little thing sucked a little harder, as though answering.
"I love you, too," he whispered, and Annabeth closed her eyes, knowing what he'd say next, what had become their promise.
"Wait for me to come home."
•
And if you hurt me
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
•
Present day
That was their promise, Annabeth remembers.
Percy always keeps his promises.
She turns the page, the second-to-last page in the book. In it is a picture of Percy in his uniform, right next to a photo of she had taken around six months ago of her and little Sofia. She had finally found Percy's blue Polaroid, the one she had gotten him two Christmases ago.
It had taken a while to find the old thing, but it had been worth it.
•
August 17th, 2017
"Hey, sweetheart," Annabeth cooed as she leaned over the bassinet to take out a wailing Sofia after one of her many naps. "Are you hungry, baby?" she continued speaking as she patted the infant's back, walking quickly to the rocker in the corner of her bedroom.
"You're getting too big for the bassinet, aren't you?" Annabeth wondered out loud as the baby started eating, sucking hungrily. She winced at one particularly hard pull. "Your grandma and grandpa were just saying the other day that they would take us out and get you a crib. Would you like that, sweetheart?" she asked, as though the baby would answer.
Sofia did nothing but kick her wrinkled little feet.
"I'll take that as a yes," Annabeth decided, grinning.
She was silent for a bit, absorbed in her thoughts, before speaking out loud again. "Your daddy's coming home in sixth months, did you know that?" She would be meeting him in February, which couldn't come fast enough.
Only six more months to go.
After Sofia finished eating, Annabeth changed her diaper and went to heat up leftovers for dinner; she traveled to Sally's house once or twice a week to cook with her mother-in-law, making meals for the rest of the week so she didn't have to cook every night.
She was distracted as she put Sofia in her little swing and took out a covered dish from the fridge. Earlier that afternoon, she had gone to the local community college for a job interview. Apparently, they had decided to open a new architecture course and were looking for teachers.
They had seen her credits and hired her on the spot.
It was great news, it really was. Although the check from the military every month was enough to support her and Sofia, she knew it would be helpful to have some extra cash lying around. She had called Percy the other day, and they had talked briefly about perhaps hunting for a house when he got back.
It seemed huge in the future, that they might have more kids, or a dog, or a house. It seemed almost too middle-class, too normal, for them. Their lives had never been average, but maybe –
Maybe when Percy got home, they could have a chance.
She hummed to herself as she turned on the oven, and her eye caught sight of a picture she had taped to the fridge a while back as she turned. Annabeth walked over and touched it; it was an older photo of her and Percy, taken with his Polaroid camera she had gotten him a few years before.
I wonder where that camera is now, she thought, tracing Percy's smile with her fingertip. She knew he obviously hadn't taken it with him, so it had to be somewhere in the apartment.
"Do you want to help me look for Daddy's camera, love?" she asked, turning to Sofia, who was happily sucking on a pink teddy bear. The baby gurgled contentedly as Annabeth fondly lifted her daughter from the swing and walked to her bedroom.
She set Sofia on a blanket on the floor, tickling her gently, then knelt next to Percy's dresser. Opening the top drawer, she began carefully searching through it. A large collection of random things—dilapidated toy cars, ripped letters, broken pencils, random photos, and stray candy wrappers met her gaze.
So. This might take a while.
•
And it did.
Four hours and thirty-two minutes, to be exact. Although there was a slight intermission in the search to feed Sofia and then put her down for another nap, Annabeth had begun to contract a headache by the time she finally, finally, found the camera.
It was in one of the boxes they had never unpacked when they moved, stacked in a tiny closet in the bathroom. It wasn't a surprise that she had forgotten where she'd put it—all the things in the boxes she hadn't seen in months, maybe years, and had completely forgotten about.
She took it out carefully, smiling affectionately as she remembered all the memories they had made with that camera. Halfway through refilling the film, she heard Sofia's sharp little cries coming from her bedroom.
"You want to take a picture with Mommy?" she murmured, bouncing the wailing baby until the infant quieted. She set her daughter down on a blanket, giving her a toy to suck on, before laying down next to her with the camera in her hand.
"Say cheese," she ordered, grinning. Sofia ignored her, grunting happily as she slobbered all over the toy.
Annabeth snapped the photo and waited for it to come out as she tickled the baby, smiling delightedly when Sofia threw the toy into her lap.
When the picture was done, she gazed at it, at their smiling faces, and thought about how she'd show it to Percy when he came home.
"We'll take one with Daddy, won't we, Sof," she murmured as she nursed the baby. Sofia pulled back and gurgled, and Annabeth grinned.
"I'll take that as a yes."
•
And when on the way
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on sixth street
Hearing you whisper through the phone
Wait for me to come home.
•
Present day
Annabeth sighs, closing the photo album for the last time. There's one more page before the end, but she doesn't turn to it, instead shutting the heavy book and tucking it under her arm. She stands up and strides to her room, where she can hear Sofia crying.
She quiets the baby, patting her daughter's back until the little girl stops sobbing, instead beginning to babble as she plays with the locket around Annabeth's neck. Smiling softly at the baby's antics, Annabeth sets her on the floor so she can crawl around and takes the photo album to her dresser.
The objects on the dark wooden surface are few: the picture of her and Percy on their wedding day is in the center, and in the left hand corner sits her jewelry box and Percy's blue Polaroid. In the left hand corner is the hat of Percy's uniform.
She picks it up and brings it close to her face, breathing in his familiar scent. Annabeth closes her eyes, and images—memories—flash through her mind.
After a few minutes, she sets the hat back down and lays the photo album next to it. There's a small smile on her face as she runs her fingers over it.
Percy and Annabeth's adventures.
It's the tale of their life together.
She remembers their first kiss under the lamppost on Sixth Street; she remembers their graduation and taking a picture of him drooling on her stuffed panda bear. She remembers him leaving for Afghanistan the first time, and his return; she remembers their wedding, their first dance together, their dreams for the future.
She remembers him leaving the second time; she remembers Sofia's birth and hearing him whisper their promise over the phone.
She remembers their life together, and she smiles, because they had truly had an incredible life.
Sofia begins to fuss, and Annabeth pulls her gaze from the album as she turns to her daughter, talking brightly as she takes her into the kitchen to find something to eat.
On the last, unopened page of the photo album, one last photograph rests.
It's a picture of a coffin, surrounded by flowers and U.S. flags. On the top is engraved what looks like only a few simple words.
Wait for me to come home.
•
wow why do so many of my stories end with people dead like come on rachel write something hAPPY for once
hope y'all enjoyed that anyway and happy birthday again to the amazing aisling!
wm
