the beginning of an adventure
As i log on to teensay, my regular chatroom, i cant help but think of the past romances i had started and ended, miranda, the cheater, jessi, the annoying one, brianna, the one that drifted away, sky, the sarcastic one, elizabeth, the ethnic melting pot. So many i gave my heart and they walked away from it. Little did i know that on this night i would meet the one that would aggravate me the most, the one that i would hurt the most, the one that hurt me the most, the one that i would hate, the one i would love, the one i would spend my life with, the one i would spend eternity with.
i logged on as my usual "asdfg" the nickname that i was known by it was night i was looking for a casual night of fun and laughing at the "kids" fighting and arguing when i saw three guys arguing a point to one woman and even know i cant remember what her nick was. I helped her out when i noticed her point had a serious meaning behind it. We private messaged each other for about 30 minutes until she had to get off the computer i convinced her to call me, and looking back she didn't make an intelligent informed decision, i mean i coulda been a creepy kinda fella haha. I had found out what her name was and learned that she lived in california, and i started creeping her out by telling her what she was wearing, what she was wearing, even when the wind blew across her; it was so funny and i was actually surprising myself, I was convinced i was phsychic and so was she, i had her convinced i had cameras watching her even when she got mad and flipped the tree next to her the finger, again i was rolling in laughter.
Little did i know that over the next year of speaking to each other i would be ready to propose to this little minx after numerous break-ups for numerous reasons, after numerous things that we did together that aren't fit to be typed on this keyboard after months and months of just staying up all night talking she confessed all her secrets to me and all i could think about was...what had i gotten myself into...talking to the psycho chick how can i love someone so messed up and then i thought...what am i thinking this is her this is someone i know more about than anyone else just because she was hurt doesnt mean she's any different and i love her all the more because she came out with her life intact, sure she had some moments of weakness but that was what i was there for to help and pull her through it.
I let her talk to my brother, Will, unknowingly introducing her to my bane. I watched along the sidelines as he slowly stole her from me. I sat by while he wooed her without my knowledge. At every turn in the road i would hear more and more about my brother, the lies he fed her about me. The truth about my brother i then knew, he would stop at nothing to take what i have, and believe me i know i sound paranoid but everytime i had a girlfriend, he would become more and more friendly with and on more than one occasion since then my old flames would call me and talk about how he wooed them. Even now it angers me, because i have seen how little he sees of his own daughter, how little he stays around for his daughters mother. He is not responsible in the slightest, he goes fishing, he goes hunting, he buys games with money he doesnt have, he gave away a perfectly fine vehicle that was payed for, for a vehicle he would have to pay large monthly notes on. If that is not irresponsible on a whole then i dont know what is.
After several months of not hearing from her i call to find how she is i find she's with an abusive boyfriend she used to date and i spent weeks getting her out of a bad situation with her brother her boyfriend and their gang. I spent months just giving her what comfort i could from so far away, on more than one occasion i had tried to make it over there but i only ever made it as far as texas before i was forced back to my meager homelife in Forest, Louisiana. I did all that i could to make her happy even if it hurt me in the process as long as she was safe and happy i would be able to live my life even if i lost something major to me.
To explain the former paragraph i would have to explain my mental status as a bullied 15 year old, going through puberty and teenage years, i was always quiet and sedate, I was the fat kid nobody talked to and when they did talk they picked and pushed me, until a boy moved to my town he helped me through and stuck up for me. He started a cult and i joined because i felt safe and i had friends he began us in rituals of the soul and various witchcraft and spells. I found a protection ritual that would allow me to bestow protections to someone apart from me by severing a piece of my soul i went through all that was needed, i decided to sever my soul from my left arm and even now three years later i dont have as much feeling in that arm, i know it sounds insane now but it's true.
I gave her the best protection I could from afar, but i didnt know the consequences when she started having nightmares about a severed arm. I released the protection, because i didnt want her to be scared.
***Authors note: this is all a true story i wish it wasn't the following chapters will speak of the pain that we would cause each other and the inevitable end. please review.
