Pay the Price in Scars

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters; Regina Mills belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Lana Parilla and Robin Hood belongs to Kitsis/Horowitz and Sean Maguire. The plot for this story is my own. Please leave feedback!

Synopsis: What makes a family? Where do you draw the line between selfish and selfless? Regina's past as the Queen has followed her into her present, and it is starting to affect her future. OutlawQueen with sprinkles of CaptainSwan, Snowing, Rumbelle, and RedCricket.

With the dishes done and Roland's bath finished, it was finally Regina's favorite part of every evening: bedtime. The chance to tuck in her boys, or boy if Henry was with Emma for the week, brought Regina a sense of peace and fulfillment she had experienced few times in her life. Wiping her hands on a dish towel, Regina tucked a curl behind her ear and headed up the stairs into Henry's room.

The teen was on his computer, hair damp from a shower and dressed in clean pajamas. His bed was made as neatly as Regina could ever hope for him to get it, and his bookbag looked packed enough for their early morning the next day. She slid her arms around his shoulders in a hug from behind, resting her chin on the top of his head. Henry finished typing—it looked like a conversation with Paige—and turned in his chair so Regina could give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Did Robin already stop in?" Henry hugged his mom briefly.

"Yep." He reached into his backpack and pulled out a neon orange folder. "Can you sign this before I forget? We have to get permission for Mrs. Nyberg to get a class guinea pig." Regina leaned on the dresser next to Henry's desk and signed the form.

"You have everything you need?" Regina combed her fingers through his unruly hair and swiped a thumb over his cheek when he looked up from his folder.

"Yeah, I'm good." Another kiss, this time to his forehead.

"Okay. I love you." Henry was already turning back to his computer.

"Love you, too, Mom." Regina paused before closing his door.

"Don't stay up too late, okay?" Henry grinned at her.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Regina rolled her eyes. He really was becoming too much like Robin for his own good.

Roland's room was just down the hall, and Regina could already hear the even tones of her boyfriend's voice drifting through the cracked open door. The newly-turned five year old still wanted a story at bedtime, but he also wanted to impress his "big brother," so now he insisted on his door being closed during story time. If Henry asked about bedtime, Roland had told Regina, she was to tell Henry that his brother was asking grown-up boy questions about how to use the "celly-phone."

Tiptoeing down the hall, Regina heard Roland's little voice: "Daddy, am I going to get a little brother?" Her steps faltered and she felt her heart sink.

"What do you mean?" Robin's voice was as calm as it ever was, always willing to answer his son's questions no matter how odd or mundane.

"You said that we're a family now, since Henry got to have me as a little brother. Gina's my mama now, and Henry is my brother, and I want a little brother, too." Regina couldn't move, either to enter the bedroom or turn away.

"We are a family, now, Roland. I love Regina and Henry; Regina loves me and you."

"So am I going to get a little brother? Or even a little sister? A sister wouldn't be so bad." Robin chuckled at his son's disinterest in the entire prospect of girls. Four years with the Merry Men can certainly make a little boy care less than most.

"I'm sure Regina and I could work on that for you, little man." Regina's heart plummeted further, and she cursed the tears that burned at the backs of her eyes. Turning swiftly on her heel, she headed blindly for the safety of her room.

Behind her, in Roland's room, Robin wondered where his girlfriend was. She never missed a bedtime if she could help it, but Roland's eyes were drooping closed. "You know, we'll still be a family even if it is just Henry, Regina, me, and you, right Roland?" The little boy nodded and snuggled further under the covers with his stuffed monkey.

"Because we love each other." Robin smiled and pressed a kiss to his son's forehead.

"That we do, my boy." Turning out the light, Robin left the room in search of his lover. The kitchen and living room were empty, so Robin turned out all of the lights and checked that the front door was locked up tightly. Ascending the stairs once more, he bypassed both boys' rooms and quietly entered the master bedroom, toeing off his wool socks and tossing them in the general direction of the clothes hamper. His favorite thing about living indoors were carpets, and he liked the one in Regina's—in their—bedroom the best because it was thick and plush beneath his feet.

His least favorite thing about living indoors were doors, especially doors with locks on them, such as the door into their master bathroom.

"Regina?" Robin called softly after trying the handle and finding it locked. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." For a moment, he thought her voice sounded strained. The toilet flushed and he heard the sound of the sink running for a few moments, then the door opened. "I'm sorry, my love. Something at dinner disagreed with me." Her voice sounded even and strong, and Robin could detect no hint of distress, so he smiled gently and pulled her in for a kiss with two hands on her hips. She responded hotly, slipping her tongue past his lips and sliding both hands up into his hair.

"You missed bedtime, m'lady," Robin commented as his lips left hers to travel down the column of her neck. Regina shivered.

"Let me go look in on Roland, then," she giggled, pushing him away by the shoulders. He made a sound of protest as she left his arms, so she let her hips sway enticingly on the way across the room. "I expect you naked when I return, thief."

Robin grinned, and sped through his evening routine. By the time Regina had pressed a kiss to Roland's curls, tucked his blankets in extra tight around him, and thrown an extra "I love you" through Henry's door, Robin was under the comforter as instructed.

"I see you followed directions," Regina commented primly as she picked his boxers off of the floor and tossed them into the laundry bin, allowing him a long gaze at the curve of her butt as she bent over to retrieve them. As long as she focused on him, on his pleasure and the heat of his eyes as they scanned her body, she could put his conversation with Roland from her mind. Sliding the zipper of her dress down her back with one dexterous hand, she shook her shoulders and felt the material fall around her ankles. Her bra came next, all with her back turned towards her lover.

"Regina..." His voice was near-whisper, and made her smile. Her clothes followed his into the hamper, and then she was swaying over to the bed to slip under the covers with him.

"I do like a man who can follow commands," she whispered in his ear, before he grabbed her around the waist and, with a merciless tickle, rolled her onto her back and laid his lips against hers.

. . .

A while later, bodies half-buried under the comforter and half-cooling in the night air circulating in from the cracked bedroom window, Regina pressed a kiss to Robin's chest and let her fingers twine amongst his atop his abs. One finger stroked along the plane of her back, following first the curve of her spine, then the delicate line of each rib, and then the swell of her breast where it rose from her side.

Regina was perfectly content to lay this way until sleep claimed them, but it seemed Robin had other ideas. Unbeknownst to her, Robin had continued to mull over the conversation he'd had with his son at bedtime, and now seemed as good of a time to bring it up as any other.

"Regina?" The woman in question hummed against his chest in response. "After Henry, did you ever think about having any more children?" Regina stiffened, almost imperceptibly, in his arms, and was slow to answer.

"No. I didn't think I could love another child as much as I loved Henry." The former Queen was grateful for the darkness of the room as she battled fiercely against her anxious heartbeat.

"And now you have Roland, as well. Has your opinion changed?" Robin curled the fingers of his free hand into the hair at the base of her skull, making her shiver. Thinking of the curly haired boy at the end of the hall, she refrained from swatting at him.

"Of course. Even in that awful year without Henry, Roland was the only bright light in my life." Regina rolled away from her boyfriend, but scooted back into the center of the bed as an invitation for his arms to wrap around her. He complied easily.

"The only bright spot, your majesty?" Robin teased, his face buried against her messy curls.

"Especially considering this insufferable thief kept trying to talk to me." Robin pinched the skin above her hipbone in a tickle, making her squirm away from him and squeal.

"You loved me the moment you set eyes on me, admit it." Robin's voice held a pout, so Regina pressed a kiss to the inside of the bicep curled under her head.

"I loved Roland the moment I set eyes on him, certainly." Another kiss. "You? I'm not convinced." Robin chuckled but pulled her back against him. For a little while, they were quiet together, and Regina let her eyes drift closed, hopeful that their conversation was over.

"Do you think you would ever want to have more children?" There was something in Robin's voice that Regina hadn't heard too often before—a kind of unsure hopefulness, a treading lightly that was unusual for the brash outlaw she held dear. The question made her sick to her stomach, but her heart, streaked through with red patches thanks to the boys who were sleeping in her house at this very moment, beat desperately for her to answer him. Anything he wanted, she needed to give to him. Her heart hurt when his did, and felt his nervousness as keenly as if it were her own.

"Of course, Robin." Regina desperately hoped she had made her voice sound calm.

"Really?" Robin propped himself up on one elbow, his arm pulling slightly from under her head and forcing her to roll backwards until she was looking up at him. She kept her gaze resolutely on his forehead, on the space between his eyebrows that made it seems as though she was looking in his eyes without having to face the crystalline blue joy she knew she'd find there.

"If that's what you want," she replied, and might have continued—might have tried to make that sound a little more enthused—but Robin's lips were already pressed tightly to hers. His kiss stole the breath from her lungs, all warm tongue and playful teeth, and then his hands were at her waist, rolling her under him completely. Her body responded to him as it always had, goosebumps rising under the graze of his palms and heat spreading low through her belly. She didn't have to find any more words, which was a relief, but she suddenly fought a wave of guilt as he slid within her and groaned her name, softer than ever, in one ear. "If that's what you want..."

. . .

She had tried her best to be imposing and self-confident upon striding into Mr. Gold's shop. Blood red lipstick, dark stockings, deep purple suit jacket and pencil skirt, perfectly straight hair that curled only slightly into her cheekbones and neck—every inch of her physical appearance was designed to distract from the desperation she was battling away from her eyes. The bell that jingled as she stepped through the door set her teeth on edge, and she squeezed one hand into a fist just to feel the pricks of her nails against her palm.

"Regina. How can I help you today?" Gold was sitting on a stool behind one of his counters, polishing rows upon rows of ornate silver and gold rings. Regina glanced around, as she always did, unsure of what she was looking for.

"I have a question for you," she stated as he continued polishing. "Why didn't you teach me any healing magic?" Gold cocked an eyebrow in her direction.

"Where would the purpose have been in that? You wanted to kill Snow White and I wanted you to bring us here." The shop proprietor slid a ring back into its velvet slot and stood, turning away from Regina to put the box back in its case.

"So there are ways to use magic to heal." Gold placed a new box on the counter, this time full of diamond rings that made Regina's fingertips itch to touch them, and resumed his polishing.

"I didn't say that." Regina huffed and crossed her arms.

"Give me a straight answer, Rumple. Could you teach me healing magic?" He returned a ring to the box and met Regina's gaze.

"I could. It is difficult, but I could do it." Regina made the mistake of letting her shoulders fall with relief, before she remembered who she was talking to.

"Okay, so teach me." Gold tilted his head, that same infuriating smirk still in place.

"I don't think so," he answered. Regina sighed in frustration and placed her fists down on the countertop on either side of the box, but he continued. "Although we could make a deal. Magic always comes—"

"—with a price, I know. Trust me, I've heard that enough godforsaken times. I get it." The shopkeeper chuckled and glanced down at his rings.

"Everything comes with a price, your majesty, not just magic. Surely, you've learned that lesson quite well by now." Stepping away from the counter, Regina was beginning to remember why she loathed Rumplestiltskin, and she realized that her "calm and collected" veneer had fallen by the wayside.

"What is it that you want from me in exchange for lessons?" Although Regina was no longer facing her former tutor, she watched in her peripheral vision as he rose, leaning on his cane with both hands in a show of deep thinking.

"You see, my dear Regina, I happen to know that your son doesn't like the idea of you doing magic." The brunette was willing to concede to the truth of that statement, but Gold continued. "And I happen to know that both you and Emma are of the opinion that I might be... how shall I put this?" Regina glanced at him, and found him watching her keenly. "A bad influence on my grandson."

"Probably because we know you would be." She couldn't help herself, and regretted the bite of her words as soon as they left her mouth, but Gold only slid his free hand into the pocket of his slacks.

"If you want me to teach you how to use magic to heal yourself," he continued, unfazed. "I want Henry to come and work in my shop, just in the evenings, maybe some weekends. I'll pay him, and you can start teaching him how to be a good, responsible teenager. You'll have to be the parent that teaches him that lesson, of course. We can't have the unwed-and-pregnant jailbird showing him, can we?" The brunette was already shaking her head.

"No, I don't want Henry coming here."

Gold spread his hands out in front of him. "Then we don't have a deal."

"That's it? Either Henry or nothing?" Regina spun on her heel and stalked to the door.

"It's your choice, dearie," Gold called after her. "It's always been your choice."

. . .

When Regina stalked into the library at two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon, Belle was only somewhat surprised. Regina was a relatively regular visitor, often bringing Roland in the evenings on a hunt for bedtime stories or Henry on weekends in search of research for school. Still, watching her enter alone and, without asking any questions, strut towards the reference section Belle kept stocked only with books of a magical nature, the new Mrs. Gold found her curiosity piqued. After a few hours of muttering and books pulled off shelves and piled on a nearby table, Belle decided to risk conversation.

"Regina? Is there anything I can do to help you?" The woman in question was flipping through the index of a small, dusty book covered in deep blue leather.

"No, I'm fine," the mayor returned with a snap, shutting the book and returning it to the shelf. Belle still found it hard to look past Regina's past actions. She often wondered why it was so easy for her to see the good in Rumple but so difficult for her to find it in the Evil Queen, but she also knew that Rumple was her true love. In that respect, Belle found herself much more easily relating to Robin and his young son than the woman standing before her.

"I know this collection pretty well. If you're looking for a particular topic—"

"I don't need your help." Belle straightened in the face of Regina's obvious annoyance and nodded.

"Alright. Let me know if you change your mind." She turned to go back to her desk, but Regina sighed.

"I'm sorry." Belle paused, eyebrows raised, then turned back to the older woman.

"Excuse me?" Regina placed the book she was currently scanning on the shelf in front of her and leaned forward against it momentarily.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." Grabbing the book, the mayor moved past Belle towards her pile of books. "I had an unpleasant conversation with your husband this morning and I unfairly took my frustrations out on you." While it was true that Regina couldn't look Belle in the eye while speaking, the young bride was still impressed to hear an unsolicited apology from the former villain.

"Alright." Belle leaned casually against the end of the shelving unit. "I can still help if you need it."

"Thank you," Regina replied, lifting her pile into her arms. "I need to take these home." Belle headed for her desk.

"Let me scan them and you can have them for a month." Regina laid them down one by one and pulled a cloth shopping bag from her purse, into which the books went. Belle tried hard not to wonder what the books had in common, but their titles made it too easy. Physiomagicks, The Complete Health Spellbook, Magical Anatomies, and several books in elvish that included images of organs, bones, and human silhouettes on their covers; Regina was researching magic related to the human body.

Before Belle could decide whether it was pushing her luck to ask Regina what she was working on, the older woman had tossed a last "thank you" over her shoulder and headed out the doors.

. . .

By the time Regina had stashed her books in the vault under her father's crypt, she had barely enough time to start dinner before picking Roland up from his preschool program. The little family had fallen into a simple routine: Regina took Henry to middle school before work at seven, then finished her work day at three and picked Roland up between four and five; Robin took Roland to school before work at nine, then made his way home, usually, in time for dinner.

Today, the crockpot in the kitchen was bubbling away as Regina unbuckled Roland from his booster seat and looked up to see her eldest son strolling down the sidewalk.

"Henry!" Roland cried out in delight, racing past his "Mama's" legs. Regina closed the car door and leaned against it for a moment, feeling her heart swell as her teenager swung Roland up into a tight embrace, the littler boy's legs wrapping around his hips and his arms around Henry's shoulders. Next to Henry, Paige laughed and helped catch his hat as it flew backwards thanks to an unintentional hit from Roland's forehead. The trio made their way up to the front porch and met Regina as she was unlocking the door.

"Mom, is it okay if Paige stays for dinner? I tried to text you, but my phone died."

"Hats and jackets in the closet please," Regina reminded the chaos of arms and legs before her. "Of course it's alright. Have you let your parents know, Paige?" The sweet, young girl nodded while helping Roland reach a hanger.

"Yes, Ms. Mills. Tonight, I'm with the Graces, but Daddy knows, too." Henry and Paige started for the stairs, so Roland made to follow them, but Regina decided to spare them momentarily.

"Roland, do you think you could help me make dessert for tonight?" The little boy looked undecided, glancing between his hero big brother and his beloved mother. "Since it is a Friday night and Paige will be here, we need to have a very special dessert."

"Brownies?" Regina kept in a grin, and nodded very seriously. "With sprinkles?"

"I think so!" she answered, holding out her hand for him as the teens escaped to Henry's room. "Door open, young man," she called up after them, ignoring Henry's groan of embarrassment.

"And butterscotch chips?" Regina lifted her youngest son onto a stool at the counter and placed a bowl in front of him.

"Absolutely."

. . .

Dinner that night was a lively affair, filled with stories about the eighth grade's new guinea pig and an upcoming science lab in which they were going to be testing flammable elements. Robin, confused by so much about the modern world, could not understand why any teacher would allow children to blow things up for no reason inside of a building, but Regina assured him that it was a regular part of the middle school curriculum.

Talk then turned to Robin's work with the Merry Men; both Henry and Roland were fascinated by the construction going on all around Storybrooke, and they wanted to know as much about building houses as they could regardless of the fact that Regina refused to allow them to go to any of the sites.

"You know, we have a couple of places that are almost ready for the cement foundation," Robin commented to Regina as dessert was being served. The kids were piled into the couches in the living room, voting on a DVD. Regina bet that Monsters University would be the only movie they could agree on.

"That's wonderful," she replied, not entirely sure what that meant.

"I was thinking about taking Roland with me on Monday." Regina looked up sharply from scooping ice cream onto warm brownies, and Robin raised his hands placatingly. "At this point, we need to pin some measurements using steel rods and twine. The ground has been flattened, there won't be any large construction vehicles, and absolutely no chemicals or dust." Regina resumed serving dessert, but looked concerned. "He hates when Henry goes to Emma's for the week."

"I know," the brunette replied, sighing in defeat as she placed the ice cream back in the freezer. "You're his father, Robin. You don't need permission from me to take him to work with you." She grabbed two of the bowls and indicated to him that he should grab the third. They brought dessert into the living room and Regina made sure that all three kids had napkins—extra for Roland—before she and Robin returned to the kitchen.

"And you're his mother," he replied, sliding his arms around her waist as she pulled two more brownies onto a plate for them. "I want him to have something to look forward to."

Turning in his arms, Regina put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him quickly. "If you're sure it's safe, I know he'll love it." They kissed again before Regina lightly shoved him away so she could grab the brownies and sit at the kitchen table. They sat close together, his foot on the bar between the legs of her chair and her hand resting comfortably on his knee, and occasionally he paused in eating his brownie to kiss her cheek or the corner of her eye or her lips. In the living room, Roland's giggles mixed with Henry's sarcastic responses to the monsters racing across their college campus, and the sun setting outside cast the kitchen in oranges and pinks.

"I missed you today," Robin commented softly when their brownies were gone. He hooked his free leg around the side of her chair and tugged it closer to him so that she was effectively trapped between his knees.

"You miss me everyday," she teased, sliding one manicured finger across the contour of his eyebrow and down his cheek.

"True." More kissing would have commenced but Roland scampered into the room.

"Gina, can I have something to drink?" Robin let his head fall to her shoulder in amused frustration.

"Yes, I'll get you a glass." She kissed the side of Robin's head and whispered in his ear. "Two hours, thief. Then, I'm all yours."

. . .

It turned out that Robin taking Roland to work with him had succeeded in giving Regina an extra hour in the afternoon on Monday and Tuesday to begin her research. She kept the most innocuous tome—Alfred's Potions for Wellness—in her office, but couldn't risk the rest leaving her crypt, so her work was limited to whatever time she could give the project after her work was finished. It took almost a full week for her to gather the ingredients for the first two potions that she hoped would be successful in fixing her... problem. Friday morning, she left for work a little earlier than usual and, after speeding through the budget paperwork for an upcoming town meeting, she headed out for "lunch" by eleven.

It took four hours to brew the potion she needed. Exhausted and with aching feet, Regina downed her creation with just enough time to meet Emma at the Sheriff's station for a scheduled meeting. In the middle of their conversation, Regina felt a burning sensation in her right leg. She paused in the midst of a discussion about bringing in a second deputy and promoting David to Sheriff so that their staff would number four instead of three, and couldn't hold back a wince.

"You alright?" Emma asked, shuffling through the paperwork on her desk for a missing budget proposal. Regina shifted her legs and nodded.

"I'm fine." Ignoring the pain that had settled in her ankle, she continued explaining the basic increase in paid hours she had calculated due to the new homes on the market in Storybrooke. By the time the meeting ended, the pain had all but disappeared. She drove quickly to Roland's preschool and parked outside to wait for four o'clock. She watched as Ruby and Archie walked hand-in-hand passed the front of the school and down the street. Ruby was giggling at something Archie was telling, and she slipped—or perhaps her heel was caught—and stumbled. Archie reached out an arm and kept her upright, but they paused to investigate her twisted ankle for major injury before continuing their journey.

Regina remembered her own injury as she watched Ruby test out the flexibility of her ankle, then remove both heels and decide to walk barefoot. Before Henry had left for Emma's on Saturday, she and Robin had taken the boys to the park where Roland had talked them into playing soccer. Regina had tripped mid-game over a tree root and twisted her ankle, creating a nasty bruise on the outside of her calf and leaving her team—Henry—alone to finish losing the game. The swelling hadn't been bad, but the bruise remained.

Regina glanced down and unzipped her boot so that she could see where the bruise had been, yellow and blotchy, that morning. It was gone.

Regina sighed.

The second potion took less time to brew, but was more difficult to experience. With Henry home the next week, Regina had to be even more careful about the time she spent down in her vault. She had promised him that she wouldn't use magic unless it was an absolute emergency, and she really was trying her best to uphold that promise. Potions, she told herself, were not the same as using magic. They were just like any other medicine. She ignored the doubts that filled the back of her mind and drank the foul-smelling green potion at lunch the next Thursday.

By three, Regina knew she wasn't going to be able to pick Roland up after school. She drove herself home, crunched despairingly over the steering wheel and barely made it up the stairs before curling into a ball in the middle of her bed. Her secretary called Robin to let him know that the mayor had gone home sick, so he picked up both boys and take-out from Granny's before heading home.

He got Henry and Roland settled at the kitchen table before heading up to find his girlfriend asleep with dried tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Regina?" he called gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking his fingers through her hair. Her eyes blinked open, and he could see the pain edging their deep brown.

"I didn't make dinner," she commented, apologetic, and tried to push herself up from the surface of the bed. The agony in her gut was too much, however, and she crumpled back into the mattress.

"The boys are already eating. What can I do?" Regina only shook her head and pulled her arms closer to her stomach. Looking around, Robin noticed that she still had her shoes and work clothes on, so he gently pulled off her heels and set them in the closet. Next, he peeled her stockings down her legs, pressing a kiss to the outside of one beloved thigh before throwing them in the hamper. "Do you want night clothes?" A barely perceptible nod sent him to the dresser along the bathroom wall.

It took some finagling, but he soon had Regina in her pajamas and huddled under the covers. Based on the way she kept herself huddled around her belly, he assumed she had gotten her period and didn't ask any questions. He was surprised to find himself disappointed that, this month, they were not with child, but he buried the disappointment beneath his concern for her. Kissing her on the forehead, he turned off the lights and headed downstairs for his own meal.

Although Regina felt the lack of explanation keenly, guilt that she hadn't told him what was really happening making her heart heavy, she couldn't help but feel desperately hopeful that the pain meant something positive was changing inside of her. Reaching for her cell phone, she called and scheduled an appointment to see Dr. Whale at the hospital the next day. Although the receptionist asked for the purpose of her visit, Regina kept the truth to herself.

"Just a routine check-up, please," she said to the nurse in as much of her Mayor Mills voice as she could muster given that her belly was in fiery knots. Hopefully, by tomorrow, she would know.

. . .

Scar tissue. Internal and external. Difficult to estimate. Whale's words echoed in her head. It had taken a half hour of awkwardly attempting to explain that she needed an ultrasound and a cervical exam to the man who had slept with her step daughter and brought to life her dead fiancé, without explaining why. As a last resort, an unnerved Regina had stood up from the hospital bed, stood toe to toe with the doctor, and ground out through clenched teeth, "I don't need to explain myself to you. I gave you this career. I gave you your degree. Stop asking me insipid questions and get the goddamned machine." Gulping audibly, Whale had complied, but the previous day's pain and the long-unused fury had left Regina exhausted.

As she lay on the hospital bed, exposed and terrified, she wished momentarily that she had Robin's hand in hers, his lips against her forehead. She would have much preferred to have his whispered words of affection underscoring the sharp pains and points of pressure she felt from Whale's instruments. Instead, she had only the doctor's monotone voice, diagnosing what she was already too familiar with. Scarred effacement almost entirely complete. Uneven lining. Possible toxic environment.

So the potions had failed, and so had her patience. She had promised Henry not to use magic any more, but this was different, or at least, that's what she told herself repeatedly as she poured over spell books during her lunch hours. She wasn't seeking vengeance or cursing anyone. All she wanted to do was give Robin his happy ending.

Almost three weeks after her secret trip to the hospital, as Robin lay in her arms, his manhood softening within her and their hearts racing at the same galloping pace, he had pressed a kiss to the column of her neck and whispered, "You are going to be so beautiful when you are carrying our child. I can't wait to watch you grow."

She had thanked every star in the heavens that it was almost pitch black in their room as tears leaked out from behind her eyes. Regina had long ago learned to cry without making a sound—indeed, without her breath hitching in the slightest—and she used that knowledge to its fullest extent, arms tightening around her lover in a gesture he mistook for hopeful delight. Sleep evaded her for most of that night, only bringing peace to her tortured mind as the red numbers on her alarm rolled from three to four in the morning.

. . .

"So, Henry, your mom tells me you've started working at the library after school," David commented as they dove into their meals. "How's that going?" Henry nodded with a mouthful of baked macaroni and cheese.

"It's good," he mumbled, before catching the half-hearted glare from Mary Margaret and pausing to chew. "I like working there because Mrs. Gold lets me listen to music, and I'm good at working with the books."

"Plus, you're starting to earn a little of your own spending money, right?" Emma ran her hand backwards through his hair and he playfully shoved her arm away.

"Yeah. It's not much," the teen shrugged, "but it's interesting. Sometimes I get to look at peoples' check out histories." Across the table, David and Killian chuckled.

"Anybody weird checking out romance novels or self-help books?" The comment earned the prince an elbow to the ribs from his wife and a kick to the shins from his daughter. "What?"

"Nah, just normal stuff. Like Archie? He's started checking out books on cooking and baking. I think it's 'cause of Ruby and him dating now. He probably wants to impress her. Oh!" Henry dropped his fork down and leaned back in his chair, grinning. "That giant dude on the custodial staff at school?" Mary Margaret nodded in recognition. "He has like all of these knitting and sewing books checked out."

"Ryan Gosling knits," Emma commented in an offhand way, knowing that the only people who would get the reference were Henry and herself.

"Yeah, but can you picture this guy trying to make, like, baby booties or gloves? His hands are enormous!" Henry's widened eyes and spread fingers as he spoke made everyone laugh, but Mary Margaret defended the patron.

"I totally believe that he is a wonderful knitter," she said, scooping more pasta onto her grandson's plate. "I'm sure the night shift gets boring and he needs something to pass the time."

"I did see something strange, though, yesterday." Henry looked pensively at a piece of macaroni that he'd speared on the end of his fork. "Mom's name came up while I was sorting through the recent check out sheets."

"That's not unusual, Henry," Emma commented. "She takes Roland there once or twice a week."

"Yeah, but the books on the list... they were all about magic and potions and stuff." The adults at the table did their best to seem unaffected by the topic, but Henry still looked troubled. Emma spoke up.

"I thought you asked Regina not to use magic anymore." Henry nodded, leaning back in his chair slightly.

"Yeah, I mean," he shrugged, "she's promised not to use magic a couple of times, but I thought it was going to stick this time."

"That's a bit unfair, now, isn't it?" Several heads snapped towards Hook as he spoke up from his end of the table. He had one eyebrow raised in Henry's direction, but his stance was entirely casual.

"What do you mean?" Snow asked gently, always a little nervous around the topic of her step-mother.

"Well, we certainly didn't ask her not to use magic when she saved us from Pan's curse." Henry looked thoughtful, but Emma shook her head.

"Maybe we should talk about this later. Henry, I'm sure your mom isn't—"

"She had to use magic because she cast the curse in the first place," Henry interrupted.

"You're right." Killian gestured widely with his hook. "I forgot she was only breaking her promise to you when she altered her memories of you growing up so Emma could have them. Oh, and that one time she kept Zelena from killing your uncle. That was a bad choice, too, eh?"

"Hook," Emma asked, exasperated. "Why are you so hell bent on defending her?" The ship captain was silent for a moment, then he shook his head a little and reached for his beer.

"Just makin' casual conversation, love." Taking a swig of his drink and then gesturing with the bottle towards Henry, he repeated what Emma had begun to say, "Anyway, Henry, I aim to say that I'm sure your mother wouldn't break her promise to you."

"Killian's right," David finally sighed as he wiped cheese from Neal's reaching hands. "Regina has only used magic recently when we've had an emergency to face."

"Which just makes her research more worrisome." At Mary Margaret's words, Henry stopped eating once more.

"Why?" he asked, looking between his grandmother and mother, who shared a glance.

"Well, if she's doing magic... if she's broken her promise to you, Henry..." Mary Margaret's voice trailed off, and David finished for her.

"Then she must have a good reason." No one looked pleased by that prospect.

. . .

After dinner, with Henry ensconced before his beloved laptop for his allotted hour before bed and Neal babbling to his toys in a playpen by the fireplace, the adults settled in the living room with mugs of tea and coffee.

"Do you really think Regina is doing magic again?" David asked as Mary Margaret curled up against his side on the two-seater. Emma shrugged and laid her head against the back of the couch.

"I hope not." She felt the cool edge of Killian's hook sliding through her hair and smiled a little, then remembered his words from dinner. Turning her head to look at him, she asked again, "Why don't you think it's a bad thing for her to be doing magic again?"

"I never said it wasn't a bad thing. Henry would certainly be disappointed." Emma picked up her head. "I just feel like it's a little unfair that we all expect Regina to stop being herself... unless we need her to save our arses from somebody else's magic."

"I don't think Henry is asking her to stop being herself," Mary Margaret defended softly. "He's just worried that the dark magic will end up out of her control." Emma looked thoughtful for a minute and Killian let her figure out the rest on her own.

"It is a little like that, though," she said at last, looking at her boyfriend again. "Like how you miss the Jolly Roger and being Captain. Magic is..."

"It's a part of you." This time, David spoke up. "I remember Jefferson talking about it once, when he had just gotten his magic back."

"Yeah, it's always kind of there, at the back of my mind." Emma contemplated her coffee.

"But you have light magic," David continued, in a half hearted protest to the idea that Regina should be practicing magic as well. "It's not going to make you evil." Emma could feel Killian stiffen a little beside her, and she was reminded how vehemently he had defended Regina at the kitchen table.

"What?" she asked him, laying a hand on his thigh.

"I just think it's a bit offsides for us all to assume that Regina is a ticking time bomb." He nodded out of deference to David as he continued, "I mean, you let your daughter date a pirate, and a pirate with blood on his hands from the same kind of vengeance that made Regina the Evil Queen." Emma started to protest, but he didn't let her. "We let Henry work for a woman who married the kind of man who not only taught Regina everything she knows, but killed his own wife just so no one else could have her."

For a little while, no one could respond to his words. Emma thought about the time when she and Henry had just returned to Storybrooke, when she was still thinking about heading back to New York without a single regret. In the end, it was her absolute understanding that Henry would want to stay with Regina—that he wanted her to be good and believed that she could be good—that convinced her to stay in the tiny fairytale town. Finally, Mary Margaret spoke honestly.

"I told Regina, when we were fighting Zelena, that our past was much more complicated than we expected." Snuggling closer to David, she sighed. "You're right that it's not fair of us to expect the worst from her. Not after everything that has happened."

"The question remains, though," David continued. "Why is she researching magic now?"

. . .

"Again!" Roland cried as Robin swept him off the ground and tossed him into the air. His little-boy cackle made Regina grin in delight as she watched her boyfriend catch Roland upside down and swing him in a wide circle by his calves. Henry dove into the fray as Robin slowed his movements, hooking strong teenage arms under bony little armpits and pulling Roland away from the former thief.

"I have saved you!" Henry yelled in victory, gently placing Roland on his own two feet before turning to sweep a deep bow in Regina's direction. "My good lady, I have rescued this rapscallion from the horrible outlaw, Robin Hood!" From her perch on the top step to their back porch, Regina laughed and tilted her head in acknowledgment of the feat. Before she could offer the gallant knight a reward, however, Roland yelled in warning.

"Look out, Henry!" The fourteen year old whirled around just as Robin fake-tackled him to the ground. They tumbled in the grass together, wild yells and calls making the scene as dramatic as possible. Roland scampered in circles around them as they wrestled, calling for Regina to cheer on his knight.

Finally, Henry rolled Robin onto his back and leapt up, brandishing an invisible sword towards his chest.

"Dost thou surrender, villain?" Henry asked with an accent that mocked Robin's brogue. Robin laughed and let his head fall back into the grass.

"Aye, good knight," he replied making Roland cheer. Henry put the sword into an imaginary scabbard and turned once more to Regina.

"As I was saying, madam," he began, "I have defeated the thief. What say you to his punishment?" Regina tapped a fingernail on her chin in thoughtfulness. Behind Henry, Robin rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself up with two strong arms. She saw it happening and momentarily froze in fear as Roland made a running leap towards Robin's back just as he made to stand. The impact sent Robin back to his knees but Roland, with a crunch of tendons in his extended wrists, was thrown back through the air.

Regina didn't think. One moment, her son was flying through the air, and the next, she was standing, hands outstretched. Magic, white as snowbells, shot from her fingertips and caught Roland before he hit the ground, holding him still for a moment before the smoke settled him gently in the grass. Henry watched in shock as she seemed to fly from the porch to where the little boy lay, already crying and craddling his hands into his chest. Robin called their names in fear, and stumbled over to them, but Regina had already swept the littlest outlaw into her arms and was shushing him with kisses to his forehead, cheeks, hair.

Regina held his little wrists in her palm and pulled his body as close to her as she could, then Henry saw the same pure, white magic erupt from her hand and sink into rapidly-swelling joints. Roland's tears rolled in fat drops down his cheeks, but the swelling decreased little by little until the magic and the injuries were both gone. Wrapping both arms around him, Regina muttered her love over and over, rocking in the grass as Roland's tears turned into whimpers and then into hitched breathing.

"Roland," Robin choked out finally. "I'm so sorry." Regina laid a hand on his face.

"You couldn't have known," she said gently, but the words were meaningless until Roland reached out his arms for a hug from his Papa. Robin took Roland and curled him into his chest, two little boy legs wrapping around his torso and two little boy arms wrapping around his neck.

"My boy," Robin choked out into Roland's messy curls. Regina seemed to come to her senses with her arms empty once more, and she looked up to find Henry's gaze. Misinterpreting his surprise, and seeming to realize that she had just used magic, the former Queen of the realm felt her heart drop and turned her gaze to the grass in front of her. She rose and made her way over to her son, one hand rubbing at the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry, Henry," she started, spreading her hands out before her as if they were stained with evil still. "I didn't even think, I just—"

"You just protected your family," Henry interrupted, his fourteen-year-old gaze far too wise and knowing for her liking. "Mom, you did light magic again." Regina twisted her hands together and nodded. "Can you do that all of the time?"

"I don't know." That was the truth. During all of the healing spells she had been practicing, her magic had erupted in swirls of purple, but Henry didn't need to know about that yet. After it worked, perhaps, but not now. "I don't think so."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I should never have asked you not to do magic." Regina looked shocked for a second before she masked the emotion expertly and patted his cheek gently.

"Don't apologize," she told him. "You're my son. I don't ever want you to feel afraid of me ever again."

"I don't! It was just—" Whatever Henry was going to say was interrupted when Roland called Regina's name. They turned to see Robin on his feet once more, Roland on one hip. The little boy was reaching towards them, so Regina pulled him to her, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you," he sniffled into her shirt. Regina smiled sadly and laid her cheek against his forehead.

"Always, love," she said quietly. "What do you think about a bath and some noodles for dinner?" Roland nodded, so Regina turned towards the house and the little family headed inside.

As Roland played contentedly in the bathtub, Regina made her way to the kitchen where Robin had been put in charge of boiling the water for dinner. She found him sitting by the table, his elbows on his knees and his face cradled in his hands. Henry was pretending to pay complete attention to the spaghetti and sauce, so she crouched down by her boyfriend's feet and threaded her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck.

"Robin, he's fine. He's safe and sound." Her right hand rested on his knee, and when he lifted his face, he covered it with his larger one.

"I didn't see him coming," he near-whispered, his gaze pained and full of regret. "I don't even know what happened."

"And now he's upstairs blowing bubbles in the bathtub without any scrapes or tears." Regina brushed a single tear from his cheek with her thumb. "It's not your fault." A cry of "Papa?" came from upstairs and Regina smiled. "See? He needs his Papa to get him a towel." Robin stood, drawing in a shaky breath, but before he could leave the room, Regina pulled him into a gentle kiss.

"Thank you," he murmured as they separated, giving her hips a squeeze. She patted him on the ass as he headed for the stairs, which made him smile just a little, so she counted it a success and turned to dinner. She pulled Henry to her in a fake-chokehold and kissed his temple. He squirmed and laughed, relinquishing the stove to her.

"Did I ever get hurt like that?" Henry asked as he pulled plates and utensils from their cupboards.

"Mmhmm," Regina hummed her response, draining the pasta. "The first time I ever bought you a tricycle, when you were maybe four or five years old, you decided that it would become part of an elaborate obstacle course in the backyard. I was making dinner and I looked down, then suddenly heard a crash. Your little body was twisted around the handlebars of the tricycle and you were screaming." Regina rested the pot of strained noodles in the bottom of the sink, lost in the memory. "When I got outside, you had some bruises and scrapes, and a bump on your head, but nothing serious." Shaking her head, she lifted the pot back on the stove and poured in the heated pizza sauce—Roland's favorite.

"What happened after that?" Henry retrieved the shaker cheese from the fridge and placed it on the table.

"You talked me into ice cream before dinner for four nights in a row until the bump went away." Henry giggled and impulsively kissed his mother on the cheek.

"I'll have to tip Roland off. You're a secret pushover." Regina swiped him with a towel as she brought the pasta over to the table.

"Don't you dare!" she laughed, shooting him a half-hearted glare.

"Don't you dare, what?" Robin asked, making his way down the stairs with a pajama-clad Roland on one hip. The little boy reached for Regina who gladly pulled him into a tight hug before settling him in his booster seat at the table.

"I suggested that we have a movie night tonight and I told mom I was going to get Roland to convince her that we should make s'mores in the fireplace." At Henry's words, Roland's eyes widened in delight.

"Can we, Mama?!" Everyone at the table froze for a moment. Regina's heart was in her throat, and she looked, unsure, in Robin's direction. He swallowed, his eyes wet but joyful and shining with love, and nodded gently.

"Of course, Roland," Regina finally choked out. "What movie would you like to watch?" Conversation moved on to movie choices, and the newest moniker didn't come up again. Still, Regina felt something very warm and very full settle in her heart as she watched her family knit itself even closer together after such a tumultuous evening.

A/N The first two thirds of this story is already written and will be posted shortly. I am also working on Part 2 of Predictable, so never fear! It will arrive soon!