AN: Soooo... This sort of created itself when I went too many nights without smut, and Mish sorta said "Hey someone do a chair rp"... Then Fork-chan got involved and it snowballed.

...

ENJOY! XD

The Chair sits lonely. It just wants a human ass to caress its polished wooden seat. It yearns for the smell of butt fumes as the human attempts to stifle their farts. The chair holds the human up, wishing it could embrace the human with as much love as the human gives it.

"FUTABA!" Ann blushed terribly. She tried to look away from Oracle's phone, but her morbid curiousity got the better of her.

"Oracle, WHY?" Yusuke's eyes widened comically. Ann had gone back to her own phone and brought up a post of Mishima posting "ASS EATER" as his new official title on the Phansite.

Yusuke got sidetracked.

"Mishima sure likes ass..." Yusuke's eyes strayed onto the word, like a hungry tiger would eye its prey.

"He loves it," Ann agrees, winking as Oracle gave her a dubious look.

"Not a bad thing!" Haru compliments, as she too was very much attracted to ass eating.

"I too love ass." Ryuji proudly exclaimed. However, since it was in the middle of leblanc, Sojiro gave him a stern warning look. Ryuji withered.

The chair stands, as it can never sit. No. It won't allow itself to sit, if only so that it could bear the weight of a human only once more. Even if its legs were broken. Even if it caught on fire. All the chair hopes is that these humans don't throw it away. All it wants is to feel the warmth of a bare backside as multiple humans use it for recreational imaginings. All it dreams of is to be bound to the floor as humans attempt to rock back and forth amongst the room, colliding with the chair, interacting with it; using it to make themselves feel complete. This is the chair's sweetest dream. Its' only dream. This is what the chair loves for; what it exists for. If the chair cannot help to pleasure its humans (for it truly has become attached), it doesn't want to live.

"Futaba, stahppp!" Makoto began to feel heated in areas she wished to ignore for now. Even as she bit her lip, her hands scrunched with the urge to use that chair for what it was worth.

"Oracle... No..." Akira weakly mewled as his friend bound him with her gaze. He read the text just to appease her, but now it begun to affect him in ways he didn't realise a chair could.

"Oh my gosh, Navi." Ann saw her friends in distress, and shared their sentiment. She was feeling as affected as they were. How was Futaba not shaking with need and want as they were? Ann noticed that Futaba was wearing different shorts. They appeared to be thinner... oooooh Ann's eyes gleamed.

"I'll use this fork on your chair-kun." Ryuji boldly stated, brandishing a fork from thin air. Futaba's eyes sparkled as she went back to composing her chair-based fanfic on her phone. Everyone groaned, but it subtly sounded like the barest beginnings of moans...

"Chair-kun?" Akira was honestly worried. The role-play was meant to be a joke at first. Mishima had been very lax with his wording in the last meeting, and as such now futaba was a chair and ryuji was a fork. The fearless leader honestly didn't know how much he could take before he'd die from over-excitement.

"Don't give Oracle ideas!" Inari protested. He felt a strange sensation coming from his lower regions.

Ryuji just shrugged, though. He was hoping to get his leader riled up as much as futaba, so that way they could have turns with their beloved Joker.

"Shut it Inari!"

Futaba went back to work.

The chair and the fork stare at each other in pure disbelief. Here, in front of them, was another being with the same yearning of pleasuring their humans as they. The chair would have blinked had it been gifted eyes, and the fork would've spoke, if only it had a mouth. All these beings could do was observe from their posts in the room as they watched their humans bend and twist and writhe under the pale fluorescent lights. They hoped to be of use. They wished they'd be given more attention; help their humans their rime more than what they currently seemed. Had they been gifted hearts, they would've stopped in their chest. Chair-kun and Fork-chan vowed they'd be better. For the humans. So that one day they'd be used in their games of sensual pleasures.

"Oracle... Why..." Yusuke's nose begun to leak a thin trail of blood. His pants appeared to have a visible stain, even from where Futaba sat hunched on her chair. The teenage hacker pushed her glasses up with glee.

"Futaba..." Akira all but begged. His hands trembled. Ryuji seemed to notice as much as everyone else.

"Yo, I totally love you right now, Navi." Ryuji was practically trembling with excitement as he slipped his hand around Akira's wrist. The Phantom Thieves fearless leader whimpered in a heated daze as he was marched up the stairs to the attic. Futaba shared a look with Sojiro before following the two teenage boys up into the attic. Sojiro sighed. Looks like she wasn't coming home in time for dinner tonight...

"Futaba. Futaba whyyyy..."The rest of the Thieves could hear Akira from their seats down stairs as he moaned in pure ecstasy.

"Shit! Hang on guys. We're gonna need a new fork!Fork-Sama was poisoned!" Ryuji's enthused voice bounced off the walls as he ran down the stairs. Sojiro already had a freshly-polished silver fork out and ready for the boy to use. All the while, Futaba's cackling laugh echoed around Yongen, causing all who heard to shiver from trepidation.

The rest of the Phantom Thieves were given full use of the Leblanc back washroom, and Sojiro even gave them the key for future use.

And through all of this, Morgana lay soundly asleep on Futaba's bed with the aircon on full blast, unawares he missed his chance on getting some of that Ann Takameki pussy.

AN: So, um, this fanfiction was ultimately a fanfiction written within a fanficiton. All dialogue was from other people, as I got all of this from a random group chat. Like, someone legit said to rp as a chair. someone was actually rp-ing as a fork. and everyone else was quite literally terrified of smut by this point LOL.

Hope you all enjoyed! I sure did! ;D