CHAPTER 1

A/N: I have to say this I have no choice. I do not own twilight sadly.

ESME'S POV

"EMMETT!" I screamed.

"What is it Esme?" He asked innocently while looking at floor , trying to hide a smirk.

I picked up a new paper at the store while buying some food for Bella so I thought I would by it because it was new and it had the title – E's and C's News- should of gave me a hint that one of my sons wrote it and got it published. Before I spoke again to Emmett I turned the newspaper so he could see the thing I was about to ask him about.

"Emmett, why does it say in this brand new newspaper called E's and C's news that Jasper is looking for girls to be in Playboy and auditions are to be held here next week". I said calmly but really wanted to scream and break a window or something.

"Because Edward and Bella are only a cover up, cause Bella's with Alice and Edward is with me. So don't tell Rose she will kill me." He said plainly but tried to say it quietly.

"WHAT THE HELL EMMETT." Edward said while entering the room.

"For a start stop saying stuff like that to get out of trouble, second I AM NOT GAY. I know you are, but I'm not, OK!" Edward said really angry.

EMMETT'S POV

Whoa, people don't take any jokes around here anymore Geez. I know, I'll get Eddie boy really annoyed for revenge, for ruining my fun.

EDWARD'S POV

I was scanning Esme's and Rosalie's thoughts and when I got to Emmett's...

"EMMETT". I Shouted.

"What Eddiekins ," Emmett said innocently. Ugh he is such a pain.

"Please stop picturing YOU AND BELLA, MAKING OUT AND STUFF IN YOUR MIND. It's disgusting." I said disgusted.

Esme was now reading a magazine when Jasper walked into the kitchen looking awful. His clothes where ripped and his hair was messed up. Alice won't be a happy bunny.

Esme lifted her up to see what was going on when she saw Jasper she gasped.

"What happened Jasper" I said for Esme she was still in shock.

"A army of vampire squirrels attacked me, it was horrible." Jasper shuddered at the last bit he said.

Emmett suddenly burst in to laughter.

Suddenly Rosalie ran into the room extremely mad.

Esme snapped out of her shock strait away when seeing Rosalie enter the room.

*THWACK*

"OWW Rose what was that for."Emmett said while rubbing the back of his head.

"For picturing you and Bella making out and stuff you disgraceful thing. Second, because someone dropped my hairbrush into the toilet. And Emmett don't you dare, say Bella did it!"

"BELLA DID IT!" Emmett yelled.

A/N: what will happen to Emmett what will Rosalie do all i can tell you is to review i need at least need 5 reviews to be able to put up the next chapter and i can tell you now its gonna be a good chapter . please read my other stories k thank you xx