Author's Note: I would just like to thank both Child of a Broken Dawn and Gleefully Wicked for encouraging me in going forth with this idea. There is hopefully more to come, but writing itself seems to be a bit of a struggle at the moment. However, I hope this is to people's liking!


Morticia Addams had never once considered teaching as a potential career for herself. True, there was that brief time she had gone into the profession following Fester's return and belief he wasn't himself, being used by a deranged woman to gain fortune by barring them from the house. A pleasant little holiday, now she considers it. Still, her brief time teaching very young children had shown she perhaps was not a natural at the career.

That was before Wednesday's school principal had called her and Gomez in to discuss Wednesday being caught attacking a boy. The school seemed very upset about this, and Wednesday had explained that she was simply paying the boy back his rude attentions – he had been snapping female students' bra-straps all day. The principal didn't seem to be punishing the boy, and Wednesday received a suspension.

During her time at home, Morticia questioned Wednesday gently on this very sexist attitude the school had. Just the previous month, if she recalled correctly, their daughter had received an in-school suspension for locking their Health Teacher in a closet and taking over the class.

"Mrs Paige didn't mind so much," Wednesday said, looking over from the maths work she was attempting to finish. "I had to knock her out for plausible deniability. The education system doesn't seem to want a more informed course to be taught to us."

"What do you mean, darling?" Morticia paused in feeding Cleopatra, confused. "I thought the system was designed to best inform you all." She knew, logically, that a private school would have teachers with higher degrees, but that sadly lacked the impersonal touch that public schools were so pleasantly giving the children.

"Only in certain areas," Wednesday replied. "History is a whitewashed, romanticized view. English largely focuses only on works from influential white authors regardless of talent, and Health..." the girl paused, and a look of annoyance appeared in her emotionless face. Well, the appearance of annoyance. "Health Class teaches heterosexual reproduction in very basic terms, not even properly explaining all the parts of the female genitalia. There is strict adherence to a belief in a gender binary system, LGBTQA+ rights are otherwise ignored, and," another pause as Wednesday took in a breath to prepare herself, "next week we are to attend the first of several Abstinence lectures."

Well. That wouldn't do, not at all.

The following week found Mrs Paige, the main Heath Teacher at the school, being presented with Morticia Addams, there to be a new teacher for the department.

"I hope you'll work well together," the Principal said. Morticia smiled without revealing any teeth.

"I'm sure we'll get along splendidly."


"The first class of the day was hesitant, reluctant to speak up with the new teacher. This was unusual, but everyone knew who's Mother this was, and no one wanted to inflict the wrath of Wednesday, especially considering she was sitting the in the classroom. This hesitance did have the bonus side of them actually listening to what Mrs Addams had to say. Basics, she called it, pointing at two extremely detailed and labelled diagrams of the human genitalia.

Following that, she went on to explain that while these were two biological components of the body, this did not mean that gender – such as it was – was required to fall into one of two categories. To call them 'male' and 'female' genitalia was simply due to familiarity with the terms. It was entirely possible for a women to have a penis or a man to have a vagina. Gender was not restricted to it's biological components, and the only person who was required to know your own person biological components was your doctor, as there were health connections to certain chromosomes. Apart from that, it was no one's business but your own

That got them all listening.

Good thing Morticia had a lot more to teach them


"Mrs Addams?"

Morticia turned around, seeing the nervous looking student hovering half-way between the desk and the door. She paused, trying to recall their name, as she gestured for them to come forward.

"How can I help?"

"Wednesday, she told me that her Cousin What is gender-fluid?" Morticia nodded, not entirely sure where the student was going. "It's just... you were saying the biological components don't necessarily make your gender, an' mine say I'm a boy but," the student looked up, "I'm not. I'm a girl." Morticia gave a small nod.

"Bobby," she recalled, "while I am pleased to know – I'll make sure it's on the book – I am a little confused as to why you are telling me this? Surely your own parents would be delighted to know?"

"Oh, they are. Sort of," Bobby said, biting her lip. There was a shrug from the girl. "We're in an adjustment period, but it is going better than I thought it would so... that's good, right?" Nerves eased back into the voice and Morticia tilted her head, thoughtful

"I have heard that it came take some families a little time to become accustomed to the news, but that your parents did take the initial telling well does suggest they will be very proud indeed – not that they already aren't," she hastened to add. "You showed great strength in using your fear to push your courage." Bobby laughed, Wednesday had said something similar.

"Problem is... well, it's here. Mrs Addams, the school says I have to use the boys bathroom because, well," she shrugged the end her sentence. There was such a feeling of abject misery attached to the young girl, the type that was not so pleasant. Morticia Addams took a deep breath, to calm her anger – forcing someone to use a bathroom that was not of their gender was beyond the cruelty she happily dabbled in– and calmly wrote a note.

"Here," she said, "you can use the staff bathrooms until I get this sorted. There must be a mistake. No one would be so... callous."

Bobby understood what Wednesday said when she mentioned her Mother believing the best in people.


Morticia's next class were a senior group, and far more willing to talk up and pose questions. Of course, these questions were not necessarily purely academic. There seemed to be a sort of competition going on among the boys of the class. Simply put: who could unsettle Mrs Addams first.

"What about BDSM, Miss?" A loud voice came from the back of the class. "Like in that book? You can tell us about that, can't you?" Laughter followed the question, as the one who asked it was slapped on the shoulders by friends around them. Morticia raised a single eyebrow, waiting for the laughter to stop. It did so, petering off nervously. "...Miss?"

"That book," Morticia said, her voice unnervingly even, "is a story of abuse and fear. It is no guide for any kind of relationship, especially within the BDSM community, which has heavy emphasis on everything being both safe and consensual." The class stared, nervous laughter taking them over. Morticia picked up a marker, and turned to the board.

"The hall-markers of the BDSM community are: Safe, Sane, and Consensual." These words she wrote large on the board. "While two out of three are the most important, I must insist that you do not look to that book for any advice." She turned back, looking at the class. A finger tapped against her cheek, the bright red nail-polish standing out against the pale skin. "Ideally this is a topic that you should speak about with your parents but if so many of you have heard of that book..."

That class turned into a basic outline of the do's and don'ts of the BDSM community. The student who had intended to embarrass Morticia ended up very embarrassed himself, when questioned on the nature of aftercare.

Importantly? They were learning.


All in all, Morticia's first day of teaching went quite well. Sure, the students had been a little hard to deal with, at first, but they quickly came around when they realized they were actually being treated with respect and credit for intelligence. Websites that provided more of a valued and informative guide to the spectrum of genders and how that connected to the spectrum of sexuality were passed among the students as well. Main homework was to read one article on one of the sites, printing out the article of choice to bring in and discuss in class.

Mrs Paige was overjoyed. She had been fighting with the district for too long to update the syllabus. It was just a pity, really, that as soon as these kids got home and spoke to their parents, this updated and informative class was going to be scrapped.

They never did like progress.