Naruto Uzumaki has offically decided that women are, in short, horrid vipers. Who really only want one thing.

Yaoi.

Ever since he started going out with the Sasuke Uchiha, it seemed like previously competent kunoichis became frothing fujoshis over night. Grown women, who kill people for a living, squealing over the idea that two dudes are in a healthy relationship. It was almost like the mere sight of him and Sasuke together left them, well, what's word?

Excited? No...happy? Or maybe...Oh.

Oh, he's got it. It made them rabid obsessive she-devils who only want to watch him and Sasuke get it on.

Yea, it's really that bad. Even worse when you try confronting them about it.

Like that time he tried telling Ino that she was acting creepy and she needed to stop watching them eat. And the stupid flower selling bitch had the nerve to look pissed and threw hot tea in his face. He didn't even know where she got it from? Or that time he told Tsunade that, no, fucking on a stage was not a legitiamate mission. Because, no, it really isn't. The old hag actually decided that putting him on house arrest for a month was an amazing punishment for "disobeying and questioning your Hokage".

Fucking...and that wasn't even the worst of it.

It stressed Naruto out, really, because it hadn't made any sense why were they acting like this???? He even tried asking Sasuke about it, and all he had said was,

"Dobe, that's just how women are. They love seeing us fags together. To them, our love is their drug. Now suck my dick."

The answer hadn't sense to him, and it still doesn't.

And now, here he sits, 2 weeks into his house arrest still pondering the wonder and mystery of yaoi fangirls.

Honestly, fuck those bitches.