Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars and am not getting paid for this... so don't sue me.
Summary: Veronica and Logan's lives are going in completely different directions... or are they? LoVe
Setting/Spoilers: No spoilers for anything. All takes place in my made up future, flashes back to late in Veronica and Logan's college career at Hearst and ends five years later.
Author's Note: The idea for this story came to me while I was half asleep. It's mostly just a story that I wrote to get out some frustration at the preview I watched for next week's episode. So it's sort of random, not much to it. But I hope you read it and like it, because I really tried to make it beautiful nonetheless. I hope you are all awaiting the sequel to Logan's Defense, and I promise I'm working on it. I just had to do some side projects while I'm doing the preliminary workings. I needed to write. Because it upsets me that the writers of the show seem to only let Veronica and Logan be happy together during the summer... when there are no shows... so we don't get to see it. ::sigh:: Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little drabble.
Their lives were going in completely different directions. At least, that was the reason she gave him for leaving.
All of her bags were packed and neatly arranged in her bedroom. Her plane ticket was resting gently on top. There would be a car waiting for her at her destination. She had received admittance to a university there. Everything she could possibly think of had been taken care of and set up in advance. That way, if he tried to make her stay, she couldn't back out.
Her hand raised, shaky, to the door. It repeated the action multiple times, but she couldn't bring herself to complete the action. Because once she did, it was the beginning of the end. With resolve, she lifted her hand once more, no longer shaking, to knock on his door, when suddenly it opened and there he was.
He looked up into her eyes, surprised, "Veronica?"
When she only stared blankly at him, surprised by his appearance before her, he continued solemnly, "I was just going to come see you.. You haven't been answering my calls."
She nodded, "Yeah... I know." Seeing the hurt and confusion in his eyes, hers looked down at the floor with guilt knowing she was the cause of it.
His hand reached out to touch her cheek and she dodged it easily, taking a step back.
"I can't do this anymore, Logan," she breathed, suddenly, before she'd anticipated. She hadn't meant to be so blunt.
His eyes squinted at her in confusion, as his hand hung in the air, stung. "What are you talking about?"
She moved around him to enter his hotel room, not able to even face him anymore, "I just... Can't."
He laughed ironically, "We had a fight... It isn't a big deal. Why do you sound like you're breaking up with me?"
Anger started to seep into her and mix with the guilt as she flipped to face him, "Because that's exactly what I'm doing."
Taken aback, Logan couldn't even breathe. With hope, he took a small step forward, a small smile on his lips, one that held no joy, "You can't be serious..."
She watched him getting nearer to her, and for a second she wanted to let him reach her and hold her. She steeled herself, however, closing her eyes momentarily, not letting him use his influence over her. A fingertip brushed her hand as he tried to take it within his, but she reeled back. "No, Logan!" she yelled, surprised as tears fell down her face and she shivered at his touch. She started to shake, "I can't keep doing this..." Then more meekly, "It hurts too much. We hurt each other too much." She knew she'd had her part in their disagreements, their fights. She'd done her fair share of screaming and she'd thrown things, too. But that didn't give her a reason to stay.
"But... I love you," he asserted, growing slightly angry himself, "I'm in love with you."
"And I love you," she said quickly, but continued before she got his hopes up, "But sometimes, apparently, that isn't enough. Because you and me.. Our lives are going in completely different directions. And I'm done fighting against it." She took a deep breath before she told him her decision, "I'm moving. I'm leaving town."
He looked as though she'd stabbed him. Betrayal was written in every expression, as a single tear was blinked from his eye and rolled down his cheek. His gaze bore into her, begging her to take it back, or to tell him he was sleeping and needed to wake up. When her face remained frozen in a look that bordered on hate, all of the emotion vanished from his face except that of shock. His body slowly collapsed to sit on the couch. He stared at the wall in front of him blankly before resting his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall into his open palms.
She watched him, broken, in a way she was rarely allowed to see. Shaking her head, she wouldn't allow herself to feel bad. When he hadn't said a word or moved for minutes, she walked towards the door. Her hand was on the knob when he finally spoke.
"When?" he asked quietly, his voice breaking, and it was muffled by his fingers, but she understood him perfectly.
"My flight leaves in five hours," she said softly, with little emotion, looking over her shoulder at him. She didn't have any emotion left.
His head snapped up at this, and she saw that his eyes were bloodshot and his face and hands were wet from his silent tears. "Five hours?" he choked out. He saw her mouth begin to move in response, but he beat her to it. "You give me five hours to deal with my world being turned upside down?" he was starting to yell now as he stood up from the couch.
She just shook her head, "I have to go. Goodbye." Her hand turned the knob and she left, quickly shutting it behind her. As she ran down the hallway to the stairwell, she heard a loud crash from behind her. She pushed hard on the door and ran the many flights down to the lobby.
That was the last she had heard or seen of him in five years. She hadn't told anyone where she was going except for her dad, and he had been sworn to secrecy. Two and a half years later she had obtained her degree in criminal justice. Since then, she had been working at a private detective agency, where she was now a lead investigator. Of course, a license had been acquired so that she could do her own cases on the side. Between the two, she had been doing very well financially. Her work hadn't allowed herself much of a social life, and that was secretly what she desired. She'd kept mostly to herself, only making a few close friends. If asked, she would never admit that her heart still ached, but was tortured and constricted by its pain nonetheless.
It was snowing as she pushed her way through the cold air of New York City, hugging her coat close to her as she walked the few blocks home from her office. As she walked up the stairs to her apartment a moving man bumped into her and knocked a file she'd been carrying, causing papers to fly through the air and land splayed out in the snow.
She cursed under her breath as she watched the legal documents becoming wet with the falling flurries and rushed to retrieve them. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a man had come over from the moving van, and was kneeling down to scoop up some of the papers facing away from her. He was apparently the one moving in, and not another worker, as he wore a trench coat that appeared to be very expensive, and she saw that his shoes were fine tailored leather. She furiously piled the papers together, biting her lip as she watched some of the ink bleed, "Joe's going to kill me." Her boss's rage at her blunder was already playing out in her head as she turned to grab the last paper, just as the man helping her reached for it as well. Their hands brushed, and she gasped, staring at them resting next to each other on someone's insurance information, barely touching. She felt his eyes burning holes into the top of her head and swallowed hard. Her teeth were clattering together from a combination of cold and fear. A deep, unsteady breath entered her lungs as her eyes slowly traced up the length of his arm to his shoulder, his neck, his jaw, and then finally she was staring into his eyes. She had said that their lives were going in different directions. If that were the case, then why was he kneeling in front of her, with a look on his face that she couldn't decipher.
"Veronica..." he breathed. It wasn't a question, simply a statement, one made in relief but with reservation.
She couldn't make herself speak, the words were caught in her throat, and jumbled in her brain. It had to be a dream, she told herself.
He obviously saw the shock and terror in her eyes as he dejectedly picked up the paper between them. It was added to the others he'd collected and put on top of the pile that rested precariously on her right knee. He stood up in front of her, never letting her leave his sight, and extended a hand to her. For a moment she only looked at it, as though it might hurt her if she touched it.
"Come on, I won't bite," he said, breaking the eerie silence between them.
Her mouth quirked up in a half smile as she placed her hand inside his and allowed him to pull her to her feet. They stood closely, hands clasped together, as if frozen in time, neither knowing what the next move was.
"That's everything, Mr. Echolls," one of the moving men announced, slamming the door to the van shut and making them jump apart as if they'd been burned.
Logan let out a breath that he'd been holding for what seemed like forever, "Thanks. You guys are free to go."
The two stood there with the snow falling around them, thicker now, and watched as the red taillights faded into the distance. She watched his head drop momentarily before turning to face her. Thoughts were flying through her head at a mile a minute, and she could tell from looking in his eyes that the same thing was happening within him. There were so many things that she could say, so many questions that she could ask, but everything seemed so ridiculous and trivial. Finally her brain stopped on the thought of the electricity that had run through her entire body when he'd touched her hand. She hadn't even seen him, but she had known it was him. Because he was the only person who could turn her into a puddle with just a touch of his hand. Because no one had ever lit a fire inside her like he could. Because every man she'd met since she left him had been a disappointment. Because there was no passion without him. Her passion for life, and her passion for love revolved around him. She'd realized that when the pain hadn't stopped even when she'd moved nearly three thousand miles away. Instead of the intense feelings she'd had with him, changing daily from the most powerful feeling of love she'd ever known, to a frustration and rage that had boiled within her, she had a throbbing sensation that resulted from the emptiness in her life. She had missed him with every part of her soul, but had been too stubborn to do anything about it. Even if she had, she told herself that he would have surely moved on from the girl who broke his heart more times than either could count. The look of longing on his face told her that maybe she'd been wrong.
Suddenly the distance between them was closed, as they both stepped towards each other simultaneously. His arms enveloped her and she pressed herself against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. They stood there, clinging to each other as people passed them on the sidewalk, as the snow collected on them, heavy shaky breaths escaped their lips in clouds. She nuzzled her face against him and felt his cheek rest upon the top of her head. He released his grip on her somewhat and pulled back just enough to look down at her. Her eyes peered up at him through the white specks falling between them. A hand moved up her back before coming to cup her cheek and then gently push a wet strand of hair behind her ear.
A sadness raced through her veins at his small intimate action and her mouth quivered as she finally tried to speak, "I'm-"
Knowing her next word, he placed his finger against her lips then, silencing her, "It's not necessary."
She looked into his eyes with confusion at why he wasn't allowing her to apologize, and what it implied. Did he already know how sorry she was, or did he not care that she was sorry.
He took a deep breath of cold air before moving to explain, "It took a long time for me to realize it. It took long years of searching for you without any success, to finally hear what you were saying that day." He paused, in recollection of the late nights, the red eye flights he took every time he got a lead, the long taxi drives back to the airport after his hopes had been crushed at not finding her. "You were right. We loved each other, but it wasn't enough. We were headed in two different directions, and no matter how we tried we couldn't have stopped it. We needed to be apart, and do our own thing."
She nodded, a new sadness overtaking her as she feared the worst. That he had discovered life without her, and that it was better than life with her.
"So, it was good that you did it.. Before it got really bad between us," he continued, gazing at her softly, as she looked down at her shoes. His fingertips pushed gently against her chin, begging her to look at him. Her emotions were reflected perfectly in his as she stared openly into them.
"Logan..." she exhaled.
"Yea..." he replied, and his fingers moved downward to rest on her neck.
"I've missed you so much," she finished, taking a deep gasping breath afterwards as she felt tears begin to surfaced.
His eyes became temporarily anguished as he pulled her closer to him again, kissing her on the forehead gently. "I've missed you more than I can say," he whispered against her skin as he absently placed kisses all over her face. Her lips parted in a huge smile as her prayers were answered. His forehead was resting against hers and she slowly began to tilt her head upwards. She heard him quickly inhale as his eyes fluttered open to look into hers, their noses nearly touching. Her eyes silently looked for permission as she slowly closed the gap between their lips, giving him the opportunity to stop her. Need was the only answer she got from him as he finished the motion, using his hand behind her head to connect them. His lips closed over hers gently, freezing them momentarily as fireworks went off behind their eyelids. Fingers began running through hair and hands roamed across bodies they had long since touched but had never forgotten. They kissed each other without caution or thought, with no awkwardness, as their mouths remembered each other well. Nearly panting, they broke apart, staring at each other with shock and desire. Suddenly she began to grin, and the happiness transferred to him and they both laughed with joy as he picked her up and spun her around once before placing her feet back on the ground. He kissed her again lightly on the mouth before leading her back up the steps of the apartment building.
"Come on, you can help me unpack," he instructed, starting to pull out his key. She beat him to it and swung open the door. He stared at her as she stood on the other side of the door.
"So you really didn't know that I lived here?" she asked, slightly skeptical.
His eyes widened at the insanity of having moved into the same building as her, "No... I had no idea. My boss set me up with the place... You really live here?"
She chuckled slightly, "Yeah, I moved in a couple weeks ago after I got transferred from my company's Albany branch."
He shook his head in amazement, before finally entering the building, "What are the chances?"
She shrugged, smiling at him in wonderment, "Not good, but then the fact that the odds are against us has never really stopped us before."
His arm draped over her shoulder as they walked to the elevator together. They waited in silence for it to come and stepped inside.
Their lives may have been going in completely different directions, but somehow they still ended up in exactly the same spot.
Alright... Hopefully the ending wasn't too cheesy for you, but I wanted it to be happy... : ) My intent was to have that affect you at least a tiny bit... If it did, please review!
