Becky Baker sat down at her desk. She had said goodnight to both her parents, kissed them both on the cheek, and finished praying, but she still couldn't fall asleep. At first, she thought it was guilt about lying to her parents. She had told them that she was hanging out with Jenna when in reality, she had gone to Romeo and Jules. Technically that wasn't a total lie. Jenna had been there. She just hadn't spoken to her. She had instead offered to play a homosexual man and then partook in a play that promoted homosexuality.

Becky frowned at her own thoughts.

Eli was right. The play promoted tolerance. How could she have not seen that before?

She opened her prayer journal. Most nights she kept it closed; speaking her prayers aloud seemed more satisfying than just writing them, but she wanted to organize her thoughts. The journal seemed the best way to do that.

So she wrote down the word tolerance and smiled, but then frowned again when she remembered Adam's earlier words. Adam had more or less said that she couldn't promote tolerance. That had hurt… much more than it should have. Why did she care what he… she… Adam thought about her? Something about Adam's words though made her want to volunteer to play Jules. What was the point though? Did she want to show Adam that he… she… he… she…

Becky looked down at her journal and saw that she had been writing "he" and "she" repeatedly.

What was wrong with her? She knew Adam was a girl… and yet Adam wasn't. She couldn't picture Adam wearing a dress or dating a guy or doing anything that Becky or Jenna or any girl would. Adam just wasn't a… girl. She wondered if that was what Jenna had been trying to explain to her.

Becky thought again about Adam. She thought about how surprised he had been when she offered to play Jules and how he had given her an apologetic smile when she had rejoined him and Eli in costume. She remembered how he offered her a spot to sing in the chorus and how he had offered silent encouragement as she stood in stage.

She remembered their hug. They had stood, staring at each other for a second too long, where Becky wondered if they would kiss. She didn't even know how that thought had entered her mind and it was then she realized that it had entered her mind because she wanted to kiss Adam. They had been a respectable distance from each other so it's not like their lips had been close together. The image of her kissing Adam had just popped into her head and she had wanted to.

She had wanted to kiss Adam, but at last minute, she settled for a hug.

That hug confused her. Did she go for the hug because she knew kissing Adam was wrong?

No.

She wanted to kiss Adam and in that brief second, she didn't care if it was wrong.

Then what?

It then dawned on her. She wanted to kiss Adam. For that one second, she didn't care if Adam was a girl or a guy. She wanted to kiss Adam. She wanted to kiss the person that he was. But she was afraid and not for the reasons she would have originally been. She wasn't afraid of God or her faith. She was afraid of rejection.

Did she like Adam?

She then returned her attention to her journal.

Please God help me understand this. Please help me do the right thing.

She then paused and was about to close the journal when she realized she had to write something. It wasn't really a prayer – well it was – but she needed to write it for herself. Maybe then everything would become clearer.

Please watch over Adam. He is a good man.

Becky reread that and smiled.

Adam was a boy.

She wouldn't be having these confusing thoughts about him if he wasn't.