Summary: Tony stopped drinking after he got back from Afghanistan. Tony started drinking after he got back from New York. PRE IM3, SPOILERS.
Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own – I'd be filthy rich otherwise, which regrettably I'm not. Please R&R and give constructive crit.
Rating: T for my use of expletives and mature subject matter.
Pepper was surprised, in the weeks after Tony got off that plane from Afghanistan – she was expecting that he would fall into some old habits, but instead of hitting the bottle, he hit his workshop.
Even though she was happier with him doing that, there was a darkness lurking behind his eyes that wasn't there before – a void where there was previously a playful twinkle, and although Pepper was happy he wasn't drinking, she wasn't sure all his work was healthy either.
Rhodey had told her that he was most likely traumatized by what had happened, but he seemed so stoic that she just brushed it off.
In retrospect, she should have seen this coming.
IRONMANIRONMAN
Tony was in his workshop for the forth day running, and Pepper had had enough. This had to end.
"Tony, you have to get out of there," she said as she walked down the stairs to the workshop, pausing only to put her code into the door and for it to happily beep its acceptance. "Tony?"
The first thing that hit Pepper was the dry, stale smell of day old alcohol, before she saw Tony swaying in a chair, his head dropping lower and lower into his lap. This is the very thing she had been afraid of.
"Oh Tony, why didn't you talk to me?" Pepper whispered to herself as she strode over to him, stepping over forgotten mechanical pieces and bits of equipment. Dummy stood by Tony, whirring loudly in his creator's ear.
Extending a hand towards Tony's unkempt hair, Pepper tried to bring his face up to meet hers, but he flinched as she made contact, dropping the bottle that his hand had been feebly grasping on to and bringing both hands up to his face.
"Wha- What? Pepper what'r you doin' down here?"
"Tony, I haven't seen you for two days!"
"Been workin' you'know how it is."
Tony reached down for the bottle that had slid behind his chair but his fingers missed every time he made contact.
"Hey Dummy, can'ya grab that for me?"
Dummy made a move to get the bottle before Pepper spoke.
"JARVIS, override."
Dummy stopped in motion before returning to his previous position.
"Pepper."
"Tony."
Tony brought his face up to meet Pepper's eyes and wiped a hand over his face, feeling his greasy hair and grimacing.
"I can't sleep. You know I can't sleep."
"You weren't like this when you got back from Afghanistan, Tony. You didn't drink at all. I never saw it once."
"Maybe I shouldn't 'ave stopped."
"Maybe you should stop now."
Tony's head fell into his hands and he sat motionless.
"It's not that easy."
IRONMANIRONMAN
The next morning, Pepper wakes up to see Tony's side of the bed is empty and cold. Although she had eventually coaxed him to come upstairs and eat something before having a shower and heading to bed, she knew he wouldn't stay the whole night.
"JARVIS, where's Tony?"
"Mr. Stark is in his workshop, Ms. Potts. He does not wish to be disturbed."
Pepper sat up, worried.
"When did he go down?'
"At around 3am this morning, approximately 2 hours after you both returned from the workshop, Mr. Stark experienced a nightmare. On his return to consciousness, he chose to go back to the workshop rather than risk waking you up."
Frowning, Pepper quickly got out of bed, wrapped a robe around herself and padded out towards the kitchen, knowing that she would have to bring coffee down with her if she had any chance of Tony speaking to her. Ten minutes later, she was walking down the stairs.
Tony was drinking again.
"You, Butterfingers. Why aren't you cleaning up this mess?" Tony looked sternly at the bots, waiting for them to do their jobs.
Thankfully, he wasn't as drunk as he'd been the night before, but it was only ten in the morning. Tony turned around just in time to see Pepper walking into his workshop with a cup full of coffee.
"I know I told JARVIS to tell you not to come down here, but I think I'll make an exception just this once," Tony said, grabbing the coffee before walking over to his desk, taking a sip and setting it down.
"Tony, you're drinking again."
"I am."
"Why couldn't you stay in bed with me?"
Tony ignored the question, instead picking up the bottle of scotch that was on the floor next to his desk and pouring a liberal amount into the cup of coffee.
"Potts, you need to leave now. I've got lots of super secret work to do," Tony said as he gestured towards the screens around him, all of which were blank.
"I'm not leaving Tony."
"Fine, shut up then."
Pepper gasped behind him, before talking several steps and ending up staring into the back of his head.
"Tony Stark, you are a mess. You haven't slept properly in god knows how many days –"
"Five days Ms. Potts," cut in the robotic voice of JARVIS.
"Five days. Five days Tony! No one can function on that little sleep, not even you!"
"I'd like to put that theory to the test."
"Tony, I care about you, but I can't keep this up. I never know what to do with you anymore. After Afghanistan you were focused, but not like this."
"I didn't sleep after Afghanistan either, Pepper. I just had a different way of coping," Tony said as he turned to her. "You have no idea what you're dealing with here Pepper, and I don't think you want to find out."
"I've seen you drunk many times Tony, and don't you forget."
"I don't forget Pepper – I know how much you've put up with, but you haven't had to deal with what will happen if I stop drinking before."
"What do you mean?"
"It's not fun, it's not pretty, and I'd rather not stop for your sake and mine. It's not worth doing for the few days I'll last before I go back to drinking like I always do."
"Tony, you stopped after Afghanistan!"
"I spent three months in a cave! I spent three months in a shitty fucking cold fucking cave where there was no goddamn alcohol anywhere!"
"Then do it again!"
"Don't you get it, Pepper?" Tony yelled, "I can't fucking do it again! I can't go through that again and force someone else to put up with my bullshit!"
Tony threw his cup on the ground.
"Dad was a fucking alcoholic who never spent a second thinking about what he might have been doing to his son and his wife, and I'm no fucking different. I can't get myself away from the bottle long enough to spend time with anyone, not even you…"
Pepper was still focusing on what he said before throwing his cup to the ground.
"Someone else? Who else saw this? Who was in the cave with you?" she asked.
"The same man who saved my life. Saved it more than once, which was already one more time than I ever deserved." Tony answered.
"Tony, you're not like Howard – you do spend time with me and you've always done it in the past, before New York and before the aliens and-"
"Can we not talk about New York, please?" Tony said in an edgy voice. "That's kind of the reason for all this, so I'd rather not, you know, talk about it. Or mention it."
Tony moved to sit down on the couch in his workshop, resigned to the conversation he knew him and Pepper were now going to have. He didn't want her to leave, and he could tell that it was coming if he didn't start to do something about his sleeping, his drinking, and his thoughts.
His thoughts were the worst.
Push her away, Tony. You're not good enough for her. All you do is drink – the drink is always there for you, always present when you need it.
Just stay with the drink. Let her go. Make her go.
He shook his head, sitting down on the couch and moving away from the bottle sitting on the counter near him.
"Pepper, if you're going to stay around for this, you need to stay around. I mean stay. Stay in the house with me, or in the same room as me. I'll fucking lie and cheat and steal to get what I want."
IRONMANIRONMAN
The day after Tony decided to stop drinking, Pepper called Rhodey to tell him. Quickly going over what had been happening in the six months following the alien invasion of New York (Tony drinking every night and going without sleep for days on end), they both decided that another person needed to be there.
"Rhodey, I know it's hard but I really think you should be here," Pepper said. "There's no one he trusts more than you."
"I guess… I'm not the best man for the job though, if I'm going to be honest. I've spent years not only letting him drink, but for the most part encouraging it if it made him happier or more productive. I can't really think of anyone else though…"
"You're really the only one he has, apart from me."
"What about the Avengers," Rhodey said, slowly. "Isn't he friends with them?"
"Rhodey, you know Tony doesn't play well with others."
"You said he and Dr. Banner hit it off pretty well, and it wouldn't hurt at all to have a doctor around for him."
Pepper stopped to think for a bit. Although she knew about the Hulk, she also knew that he had saved Tony's life when he fell from the wormhole in New York, and that counted for much more than anything else in her books.
"I'll see if Tony knows where he is,' she said quickly. "I think you might be right."
"Okay… How is Tony?" Rhodey asked.
"Well, we both decided that we needed another person here, so he stopped drinking last night at twelve. We spent yesterday pouring all of his liquor down the sink."
Rhodey laughed, "Oh yeah? How did he take that?"
"He was counting how much money it was worth as it went down the drain."
"That doesn't surprise me in the least."
"…"
"…"
"Thanks for talking to me today Rhodey. I should get back to Tony before he breaks the perimeter. He seems to think he'd go to those lengths."
"He will, Pepper. Take care."
"You too."
Hanging up the phone, Pepper went back upstairs to join Tony in bed.
"How'd it go?" Tony called from his space, the sound of his voice muffled by the pillow.
"Rhodey said he would just end up letting you drink eventually. Or something to that manner," Pepper replied.
"He's prob'ly right…"
"Let's go to sleep Tony, it's two in the morning. "
Pepper stepped out of the robe she was wearing and slid into the bed.
"You're not going to want to stay in bed with me in a few hours, Pepper."
"I want to stay in bed with you now though."
IRONMANIRONMAN
Five hours later, Tony was starting to shiver under the sheets. Pepper was still sound asleep though, so he refused to wake her up.
You don't deserve to have her sleeping here with you. You'll wake her up if you keep going like this, and then she'll leave you. Get a drink. Go get a drink."
"No," Tony said to himself. "No. No."
He kept shivering, stopping every couple of minutes when the temperature would rise and he would almost kick the sheets of to get some relief, but then the temperature would fall again.
It was getting unbearably cold and water was starting to bead on his forehead from the hot flashes, dripping into his eyes. Cold. It was cold and there was water on his face. He felt himself slipping into the past.
"JERICHO! JERICHO!"
Water dropped over his lips and down his neck and it was
So cold
"He wants you to build a missile. This missile."
"I refuse."
Shivering. Cold air. Water. Pain.
"JERICHO!"
Pepper's face. Pepper calling his name.
"Tony! TONY!"
"Tony! I'm here!"
Pepper was holding him in her arms while his body shook uncontrollably.
"Tony, you're home, you're safe."
"Cold."
"Tony, you're burning up!"
"F-fever. It's normal," Tony stuttered. "Gonna last a wh-while."
"What can I do?" Pepper asked, looking down at him, shivering in her arms under the blankets.
"Just stay. Stay."
A/N: depending on the reponse I might follow this up. Please read and review!
