Trust Issues

I get angry… a lot, but I'm trying to deal with it. I am in a program. I am trying to fix my flaws, trying not to shout as much and to channel my anger into something more productive. They said I should count to ten in my head, the people who run the program, but that has never helped me much. It's not as if I have to deal with this problem all the time, its only when I feel people are purposefully trying to annoy me, or when they say things which are blatantly wrong.

Like now when Angela accuses me of simply being a spoilt brat who felt I was to important to tell them the truth about myself, that I clearly didn't want to get to know the other lab workers since I didn't let them know me, but she is so wrong. I have been hurt before, when people hear that I'm rich they always want to 'get to know me'. In reality they only use me for my cash.

I couldn't let that happen again, I couldn't have another set of false friends. So instead I kept the truth a secret. I would have told them eventually, but I enjoy being the simple 'bug and slime guy'. I love that so many people think my biggest achievement was as 'king of the lab' and though it may not be my biggest achievement it is by far my best.

So who was Angela to say that none of the lab workers knew me since I kept this secret? If anything, these people at the lab knew me best. Especially her.

I guess that is why my head might have exploded at her suggestion; I thought she knew enough of me to understand why I would keep all this from her, from all of them. I guess I was wrong…

They were standing in Angela's office, waiting for results to come in before they could do any more work on the latest case when Angela suddenly restarted the argument they had been having earlier.

"You know Jack, you are just a spoilt brat. You think that since you are rich you are so important. You think we don't deserve the truth. You don't deserve any friends if all you do is lie to them and you know what I don't even think any of as are friends, especially since you lie to us."

Angela glared at Hodgins, watching as his face turned first pale and then an alarming shade of purple.

"Don't you dare tell me what I think," Hodgins yelled at her, "You don't know what it's like carrying my burden. Has anyone ever dated you for two years, said that they loved you, only to one day steal your most valuable possessions and leave you behind broken hearted? No? Well that's happened to me. You want to know why I don't trust people? Because I don't see anything worth trusting."

At this Hodgins walked over to the couch in her office and sat down, his emotions beginning to overwhelm him as his anger was transformed to sorrow.

"I can't get hurt, not again." He started, choking back a sob, "I had to find out if I could trust all of you before I could let you in, and if you had hurt me before then, well, I could justify ignoring any feelings as you wouldn't have known the real me. But you know Ange… I was going to tell you."

Angela was surprised by Hodgins sudden outburst but sat down next to him, trying to comfort him. She realised that he must have had a really hard life. She could not even begin to imagine the amount of pain she would have to go through in order to cause herself to lie, simply so she could never let it happen again.

"Hodgins," she whispered to him, "I understand. I know you would have told me when you were ready and I'm sorry I called you a spoilt brat but there is something you should know. If you don't let yourself feel pain then you don't get to feel love either. You have to be willing to take a risk in order to gain the greatest prize of all."

She then gently lifted his head and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before giving him a hug and going to show Brennan her latest sketch of the victim.

That was when Jack Hodgins fell in love with Angela Montenegro.