The four champions were rocking the futuristic punk look with their wireless mics, their holographic bandanas, their pastel dyed hair, and their pleather bodices, but that only opened them up to getting punked by enemies that were even more futuristic. Take what they were currently fighting, for instance: Cembellion was a sentient floating disc with an intense hatred of carbon-based lifeforms and a slightly copyright-passing resemblance to that weird arcade UFO boss from Lollipop Chainsaw.
The Pop Stars felt more like the Country & Western Amateurs fighting this gravity-defying gizmo. Its anti-viral programming meant Ahri couldn't Charm it no matter how many swarms of tiny pixel hearts she blew its way. Its force field shielding made it impervious to all of Kai'Sa's missile fire. Evelynn jumped ten meters into the air where the saucer was hovering and swung at it with her energy lashers. She was blasted out of the air in retaliation and flopped face-down to the ground in a more painful version of the Worm. Akali had no effect when she tried rapping at it. Unfortunately, it was about to have a rather nasty effect on them.
Evelynn was crawling up on her belly when the entire world went technicolor. All four champions were caught in the cone of neon strobe lights pouring out from the underside of the floating saucer. The blinding illumination spun in a centrifuge so powerful it kept Evelynn pinned to the ground while the rest of her teammates struggled to keep their balance. The Pop Stars' contributions to the spectacle mostly consisted of panicked screams and excessive tail-swishing.
Getting down with the funk rays made the high-tech divas get down with their grasp on object performance. Kai'Sa recoiled in terror as she watched her arms dissolve into weightless silver shards. All four champions lost their physical constitutions and became swarms of glittering geometric fragments indistinguishable from each other.
The metallic pieces swirled into a cloud at the center of the magenta gravity well. Cembellion's superior laws of physics reassembled them into a single free-floating sphere that twinkled in the intense lights and spun in rhythm with the saucer's propulsion systems.
A five-foot-tall disco ball.
The sphere maintained its perfectly round properties for several minutes while a terrible synthesis occurred secretly inside its core. Gradually, the single shape lost its perfection and tried to break into separate shapes. Dozens of features with vaguely humanoid implications began to form out of the orb's diamond surface. A primitive five-pointed claw here. An elongated and sharpened glass structure mimicking a leg there.
The confusing metallic mass became four distinct but still confusing masses. The shapeless moving lumps tightened into diamond hourglasses grinding their unpolished edges together. Straight planes and sharp geometric corners emulated the shapes of human body contours.
The singular orb melted into a revolving totem made of faceless mannequins with blocky, roughly female proportions merging in an electronica orgy. Each geometric sculpture began where another hadn't completely ended, blending their features together as they remained trapped in the midpoint between the self and the collective. It was as if Ahri's holographic crystal tails were being reshaped into four life-sized beings.
The mannequins separated into individuals as their silver triangular feet touched the ground. They silently stepped away from one another even as their forms were still changing. Their features smoothed and glimmered like clay baking in an ultraviolet kiln.
Their fragmented silver pieces darkened as they turned solid. Their rectangular claws changed into the black outlines of slender hands with manicured nails. The triangular wedges at the ends of their legs changed into nimble feet with five toes apiece. The crude hourglass tubes representing their torsos developed intricate muscular and bone structure. Square bricks smoothed over into curved posteriors. Sharpened pyramids rounded off into breasts. Their bald mannequin heads grew hair and developed facial features. As they each regained the individual anatomical quirks of their original selves, their shadowy bodies pulsated with markings like a more extreme version of Akali's glow-in-the-dark tattoos. Their silhouettes were immersed with neon spray painted alien patterns and jagged letters that spelled such charming things as "THUG 4EVER," "PRIN$E$$," and "GUMISLUT IN DA HOUSE."
The markings were hidden as Cembellion brightened its spotlights. The shadows veiling their bodies turned back into microphones and pleather bodices and latex short shorts. The Pop Stars were restored to their normal selves in their sleek and sassy concert attires. Their image was only slightly updated to reflect the new robotic manager they operated under. Deranged smirks glistened across their lips while four pairs of shimmering disco balls slowly revolved in their eyes.
The rays beaming down from the saucer flickered to blacklight, causing the four divas to appear as naked shadows covered in glow-in-the-dark graffiti. The blacklight washing over them briefly flickered into x-ray beams, revealing their real forms as blank polygonal mannequins simply pretending to be the champions. The light filters flashed off, instantly returning them to their deceptive outward appearances. They were the nesting dolls of the future: Synthetic clothes worn over organic bodies worn over synthetic souls.
The Pop Stars stepped out from underneath the saucer with sultry walks and smug grins, ready to obliterate everything in their path like a quartet of supernovas rampaging out of control.
Author's note: Their K/DA skins got turned into literal skins.
