A year has passed since Bernie's been here, at Holby City hospital. She's been back to Holby to visit Cameron and Charlotte, obviously, but nowhere near this building. After the painful separation with Serena she had discovered that the NTC wouldn't disregard her resignation, forcing her to search for another position. Eventually, she found a short-term contract at The Royal London, in their major trauma centre. Now, contract at the Royal Free expired, she finds herself in the carpark of the place she's been evading preparing to embark on the first of a set of Locum shifts on Keller she's signed up for.
Bernie sits in her car, thoughts overwhelming her mind. Does Serena know I'm coming back? Is she working today? Should I find Serena and explain? I don't want her finding out on the grapevine. Bernie glances over at the time displayed on the radio and realises she will be late if she doesn't make her way inside soon. Stop being such a coward and get out the car, she thinks to herself. You can do this. Knowing it's now or never, she picks up her bag that's sitting on the passenger seat, gets out of the car, locks it and makes her way inside the hospital.
On entering the building she goes to Pulses and joins the queue. Might need a peace offering if I'm going to find Serena. she thinks. When she's front of the queue, she orders two coffee's; one for herself and the other for Serena. She also picks up a little some extra she knows Serena will like, a pain au chocolat then makes her path towards AAU. As Bernie approaches the double door that lead to the ward she halts, suddenly seized by fear and filled with a dread that makes her want to run. Come on, you've made it this far. Running is not an option, this is your place of employment. She tells herself. Bernie takes a sharp breath, draws her new I.D badge out of her pocket and lets herself onto AAU.
Scanning the department, she recognises no one until her vision lands upon Donna who's sitting at the nurse's station. Donna looks up and spots Bernie. She instantly smiles in Bernie's direction. Bernie smiles back and wanders over towards her.
"Ms Wolfe!" Donna exclaims "What a surprise. It's great to see you."
"It's wonderful to see you too, Donna." Bernie replies fondly. "Is… er, Serena around?"
"She's in the office, but-" Before Donna could say another word and warn her, Bernie moves in long strides towards the office door. When she arrives, she can see through the open blinds, Serena sitting in her chair facing the sofa, upon which Jason and an unfamiliar grey haired man are sitting, chatting and laughing.
Bernie's stomach suddenly feels tied in knots with a mix of anger and pain. So this is the reason our emails eventually ceased. They look happy. It should be me in there with Serena and Jason. Serena looks magnificent. She peers through the window at the scene until she sees the man lean forward and touch Serena's knee. Not wishing to witness any more, she dumps the coffees and the pain au chocolat, the extra something for Serena in the nearest bin she can locate and strides towards the exit, slamming her hand against the green button. Hard. She shoves the door open and practically runs until she finds herself at the bottom of the stairwell.
With nowhere else to go, other than to ascend the stairs, she sits on the floor with her back against the wall. She struggles to gather her emotions as silent tears spill down her face. I have no right to be jealous. Serena deserves to be content after all that's happened. Why didn't she tell me she's met someone? I would've understood s he thinks (no). I could murder a cigarette. With that thought, she climbs the stairs until she arrives at the fire exit door leading onto the roof.
Bernie pushes down on the metal bar and frees the door. She strolls over to the metal steps and takes a seat. As searches in her pockets for her cigarette packet, she hears the door open and someone else steps onto the roof.
"Ms Wolfe. Aren't you supposed to be bathing beneath the African sun?"
"Ah...yes. That… didn't exactly work out, Mr Copeland. Turns out resignations can't be revoked in Nairobi." Bernie explains.
"Do you mind if I sit?" Dom asks, walking to stand in front of Bernie and signaling to the space beside her.
"Be my guest" Bernie replies, glancing up and producing a tight smile.
"Just like old times." Dom jokes as he sits.
"Quite. I feel like I've come.. uh, full circle."
"So… professional or personal elephant?" Dom questions.
"Can I answer both?" Bernie inquires.
"Of course." Dom Replies. Bernie stares ahead and twists her palms together before proceeding.
"Professionally, My locum shift started on Keller about 20 minutes ago which I haven't appeared for so I've probably messed that up. And… Personally-" Bernie stops, attempting to produce words from her mouth.
"The one that got away?" Dom asks, trying to help, seeing how much Bernie is struggling.
"Very much the one." Bernie takes a heavy breath, sighs and carries on.
"I went to find Serena because I didn't want her to discover I'm back here through idle gossip. But she was in the office, preoccupied, with Jason and… a… a man. I froze. I couldn't stop staring at the scene through the window then he touched her knee. I ran and uh… ended up here. Bernie explains.
"And you assume she and the aforementioned man are-?"
"Yep." Bernie says. "They seemed very cosy."
"Well if it's any consolation, I've heard nothing about Serena dating anyone on the grapevine and my sources are pretty reliable." Dom shares.
"Ms Fanshawe?" Bernie questions.
"Yes, the one and only." Dom replies. And as for not showing up for your shift, don't fret about that, you're forgetting you've got friends in high places here and you're Bernie Wolfe, ex army major, who's going to argue with you?"
"Ha , yes. I still even possess some army skills." Bernie laughs. There's a moment's silence between them. What am I going to do? About Serena. She ponders. Bernie breaks the silence to say.
"I was planning to ask Serena to marry me… I, I still have the ring. I've been carrying it around with me since shortly after Guinevere was born. I planned to propose after Jason's wedding but-"
"You broke up." Dom finishes. Bernie looks down at the floor and nods.
"You truly love Serena, don't you?" Dom states.
"Yes." she says, twisting to look at Dom.
"It's time to be brave Ms Wolfe. You need to go back in there, find her and tell her how you feel. It doesn't matter whether she's seeing this man you saw because if you don't try, you'll never know. I will cover for you on Keller. I'm positive I can create some excuse, afterall I've had plenty of practice." He advises before teasing. "Now get up, go find her and spread some of that Wolfe irresistibility around." He nudges his shoulder into Bernie's playfully.
"How do you know about that? Let me guess.. Fleur?"
"I know of all Ms Campbell's secrets."
"So I suppose you know of 'she's the greatest love affair of my life' and 'her kisses taste of chocolate and honeycomb' then?" Bernie quips.
"No, but do explain."
"That's a discussion for another time, Mr Copeland." Bernie rises to her feet and stands in front of Dom. Time to be brave. She thinks.
"Thank you, Dom. For this." She says gesturing between them.
"Good luck." Dom replies. With that said, Bernie strides toward the fire exit door and makes her way back to AAU.
As Bernie arrives at the double doors leading onto AAU for the second time, she takes out her I.D from her pocket while thinking, here goes. No going back now. Despite feeling apprehensive, she wipes the card over the black box that's secured to the wall, pulls the door open and proceeds towards the office she once shared with Serena.
As she approaches the office the door opens, and she is presented with Serena, Jason and the unidentified man. He's tall, average build with short, somewhat wavy, grey hair and glasses. Jason is the first to recognise Bernie standing there fixed to the spot.
"Bernie!" Jason exclaims. Walking at speed towards her. Bernie beams her happiest smile, feeling the impact of her nerves disappear. I'm so glad he's pleased to see me. I hope I'm rewarded with the same reception from Serena.
"Hello Jason, love. It's wonderful to see you." Jason places his hand upon Bernie's shoulder; his interpretation of a hug. Bernie continues.
"How's er.. Greta and Guinevere?" Bernie asks as she puts her hand upon his. Before Jason can answer, Serena appears and stands beside him.
"Bernie! What are you doing here?" Serena asks with a blend of astonishment and delight.
"Surprise." Bernie answers, not able to find any other words. Before Bernie can say another word, the mysterious man steps forward to stand beside Serena and Jason.
"You must be the Bernie that I've heard so much about." he says. Bernie laughs nervously.
"Well that's amusing because I'm still to hear anything about you. But then why would I? It seems we have abandoned all forms of communication." Bernie remarks. Serena looks down, looking uncomfortable and fidgets with her pendant. Bernie moves her gaze to study Serena and goes on.
"Serena, you could have just told me, I would of been okay with it… eventually. Accepted that you've found someone else and moved on. I… I thought we were friends before all else, dear friends, but uh… maybe-" Serena looks up with a puzzled expression. She stops Bernie's speech by raising her hand as realisation hits.
"Bernie, no- it's- this is not what you think." Serena gestures between herself and the silvery haired man.
"Isn't it?" Bernie replies
"Oh- no, god no." The man halts and continues. I'm Robert Haynes, Jason's Father. Serena's been helping Jason and I to reconnect - as his support system, nothing more."
Bernie feels shocked, relieved and foolish, she appears flabbergasted. Oh whoops! She realises, but maybe there's still hope?
"It is true, Bernie." Jason starts, disturbing Bernie from her thoughts. "He is my Father. Auntie Serena is not in love with him. She is still in love with you. I know because she is always sad when I talk about you, she thinks I do not notice but I do. She is terrible at hiding it. Also Greta says that her intake of wine has increased by 45.3 percent this year and-" Serena cuts him off.
"Yes. Okay Jason… thank you, that's enough." Serena glances awkwardly towards Bernie, appearing mortified. Bernie's trying not to smirk while holding back laughter, Serena glares at her, unamused.
"Sorry." Bernie mouths towards her. Serena's expression softens.
"I really should go now." Robert says, seeming quite uncomfortable. "It's been great to see you again Jason, you too Serena. It's been nice to meet you Bernie." He holds out his hand towards Bernie offering a handshake.
"Yes… you too." Bernie replies whilst reciprocating the handshake.
"I'll call you very soon to arrange meeting up again." Robert says to Jason. Jason nods in reply and Robert makes his move towards the exit.
"Could we go into the office Serena, please?" Bernie asks "I think we need to talk about... " Bernie tails off with a half hearted gesture.
Yes, quite. I rather think we've given the ward enough of a show." Serena replies, laughing cheerfully and not quite believing Bernie is here. They both return to the office with Jason in tow. When Serena and Bernie enter the room, Jason stops in the doorway and they both shift to face him.
"Need to go home now as there are things I need to help Greta with." he announces.
"Okay love. I'll see you later at dinner." Serena responds.
"Bye Jason, I hope to see you soon." Bernie adds.
"Are you not going back to Nairobi?" Jason asks, looking extremely confused.
"No. I'm staying... right here." Bernie answers, smiling the brightest smile. Jason beams a grin looking particularly pleased before turning and stepping away.
Serena reaches out and closes the door now Jason is gone. She spins to face Bernie feeling taken aback by her answer to Jason's question. She smiles and sits down on the sofa situated against the wall, underneath the window, while Bernie moves over to Serena's desk and perches herself on the edge.
"So you aren't going back to the NTC?" Serena starts by asking, knowing Bernie might find it tough to lead the conversation.
"Nope. Serena, I… I didn't fly back to the NTC after we finished. My resignation couldn't be withdrawn."
"Why didn't you tell me? Where have you been all this year?" Serena fires questions, sounding concerned.
"London, staying with my sister and working at The Royal London in their major trauma centre." Bernie takes a deep breath and goes on. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel more guilty than you already did, you know...um about-" Bernie gestures with her hand while struggling to say the words.
"Yes, okay… that's reasonable. I possibly would've blamed myself. Serena looks down as she flattens her trousers while Bernie is twisting her hands together contemplating what to say next.
"My contract is up in London and I've exhausted staying with my sister. I cleaned out her drinks cabinet of all the best whiskey when I showed up and she hasn't quite forgiven me." Bernie chuckles, realizing I was a bit of a mess. "I'm stopping with Cam while I search for a place of my own and I'm picking up locum shifts. I was suppose to start on Keller today but I haven't shown my face just yet. I… I came to find you earlier to explain before you heard through the whispers of the porters but you were… uh, preoccupied." Bernie explains while she gestures with her hands.
"Ah and that's why you thought Robert and I were a thing?" Serena asks with amusement playing on her face.
"Yes, I'm sorry. Silly of me jumping to conclusions like that. I was insanely jealous thinking of you… with him. I had no right feeling like that. We aren't together anymore but I couldn't help it." Serena raises her hand and shakes her head.
"Forget it, there's nothing to apologise for. I should be the one apologising. I miss you, Bernie. Jason's right I can't bare to hear anybody talk about you because it reminds me how much of a fool I've been. I realize now that I drove you away because I was punishing myself; thinking I didn't deserve you or your forgiveness. But I didn't just hurt myself, I hurt you in the process, I'm sorry."
Bernie takes off her bag, turns around and places it on Serena's desk before she moves over to sit next to Serena on the sofa, twisting slightly so she can face her.
"We're both fools, Serena. I... I should've fought for you. I shouldn't have just agreed with everything you said because I assumed that was what you wanted even though I could picture coming home to you… putting the bins out and pushing swings in the park. The only thing I corrected you about was… wearing slippers because I don't wear them but I'd bloody buy a pair if-" Before she can finish Serena leans forward and gently presses her lips against Bernie's. Bernie responds, deepening the kiss by taking Serena's bottom lip between her own. Serena's hands gravitate towards Bernie's hair and the blonde places hers upon Serena's thighs. Am I dreaming? Is this really happening? Bernie thinks, feeling as if this moment isn't real.
They break the kiss, both needing to catch their breath and pull back from one another to their original positions.
"Serena,-" Bernie reaches over to the back of Serena's hand and strokes a finger over it, asking permission to hold her hand. Serena responds to the gesture, turns her hand over and allows Bernie entwine their hands together. Bernie continues.
"If we are to do this, us, we need to get it right this time because I couldn't bare to lose you again. We've been through so much together but we've never done this properly. I want this but we need to communicate with each other better.
"I want this too. I never want to feel the way I have this year ever again. I've felt so empty and alone." Serena says. Bernie squeezes Serena's hand in response. I should ask now, there will never be a right time, thinks Bernie.
Throwing caution to the wind and deciding to act on her thoughts, she removes her hand from Serena's and places it on Serena's knee instead before saying.
"Stay right there, don't move." Bernie rises from the sofa, goes towards her bag and rummages.
"Bernie, what are you doing?" Serena asks, raising an eyebrow; amused.
"Ah! Found it." Bernie announces. She walks back over to Serena and sits down, facing Serena as before.
"Okay, found what?" Serena asks, not able to see what Bernie is holding.
"This,-" Bernie places what she's holding on the palm of her opposite hand, revealing a black velvet ring box. Bernie continues-
"I've been carrying this around with me for a while. I bought it on the way to the airport when I was travelling back to Nairobi after Guinevere was born it's been in my bag ever since." Bernie opens the box to present a white gold ring with a deep ruby centre surrounded by diamonds. Serena gasps and raises her hand to cover her mouth in astonishment. Bernie uses her free hand to takes hold of Serena and takes a deep breath hoping it will steady her nerves.
"I love you Serena Wendy Campbell. I've always loved you and I always will. I want to spend the rest of my life, with you beside me, as my Wife. Will you marry me?
"Yes Bernie, of course I'll marry you!" Serena exclaims with happy tears streaming down her face and ending up in the crevices of her wide smile. Bernie releases a breath she's been holding and beams a smile as bright as sunshine while she reaches up and uses her thumb to wipe tears from Serena's cheek. She removes the ring from the box, takes hold of Serena's left hand and slides the ring onto Serena's ring finger. Thank goodness it's a perfect fit. They gravitate towards each other until they lock into an emotional and tender kiss.
A knock at the door interrupts the kiss. Serena pulls back from Bernie's hold.
"Yes, come in." Serena shouts. Donna opens the door to see Bernie and Serena sitting on the sofa.
"Sorry to interrupt, but you're needed in theatre, Ms Campbell." Donna informs them.
"Ah yes, I'll just a minute. Can you let them know I'm on my way please?"
"Of course. So uh… have you two kissed and made up then?" Donna asks. Bernie turns to face Donna in the doorway.
"You could say that." Bernie replies, smiling. Donna turns on her heels and makes her way back to the ward with a huge smile on her face.
"I... should get going up to Keller, show my face before er.. Henrik comes looking for me. Bernie says after turning back to Serena. Who knows what sort of excuse Mr Copeland came up with , she wonders.
"Of course, darling." Serena say tenderly. Bernie's heart flutters after hearing that word from Serena. Did she just call me darling? I've longed to hear her call me that again.
They both rise to their feet to stand in front of each other. Bernie takes hold of Serena's left hand and leans in quickly kissing her on the lips.
"I love you, for eternity." She says, smiling and rubbing a thumb over the ring.
"And I love you, always." Serena replies returning a smile. Bernie lets go of Serena's hand, steps away, turns towards the open door and makes her way to face what awaits her on Keller.
